Déjà Vu
by htbthomas
Summary: Lois slowly remembers details about the time that was erased. When she remembers it all, how will she react? Sequel to Superman Returns, references to SII. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1: Mystery

_Summary: Lois slowly remembers details about the time that was erased. When she remembers it all, how will she react? _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing at all, but thank you for letting me explore the wonderful world that is Superman. If you sue me, you'll have to get in line behind all my other creditors..._

**A/N: Although this is a sequel to _Superman Returns,_ it also owes heavily to the ending of the original theatrical release of _Superman II _(not the recent Donner Cut). One of the issues that I wish had been dealt with in _SR_ is Lois' memory wipe. The novelization and prequel comic seem to make clear that Lois truly believes that Richard is Jason's father until nearly the end of the film. So how did she come to the conclusion that Superman was actually the father if her memory had been erased? Conversely, if her memory was _not_ erased, as Bryan Singer has suggested in interviews, why does she not seem to know Clark's identity? It seems out-of-character to me that he would sleep with Lois without her knowing that vital fact.**

**This story explores Lois' point-of-view as she comes to terms with her memories, and deals with the consequences of Superman's decision to all persons involved. Enjoy!**

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Déjà Vu 

Chapter 1: Mystery

Lois rubbed an affectionate hand over Jason's tousled locks one last time before standing to leave the room. They had been sitting together watching the stars for about an hour, hardly speaking.

"Mommy?" Jason had asked after a particularly long pause, "Do you think he'll visit us a lot?"

She smiled and bent down to kiss the top of his head. "I think so. He said we would see him around, and I know he meant it." Jason turned his head to look up into her face. She continued, "After all, Superman never lies…"

He nodded slightly, grinning. He trusted her implicitly - he was young enough not to think any other way. It warmed her, but scared her a little, that she held his little heart in her hands. Did he have any idea that Superman was his father? They seemed to have such a connection in the brief time that the Man of Steel and her son had interacted. She worried what this would do to him. So once again, she told herself she had made the right decision in keeping the truth from him until he was older.

Jason yawned, and blinked his eyes tiredly. "Maybe you'd better turn back in, sweetie," she suggested.

"What if he comes back?" he protested weakly.

She placed a comforting hand on his small one. "I'll wake you up if he does… I promise."

"Okay," he agreed, really too tired to argue. He crawled beneath the covers again, and was soon fast asleep.

Lois walked slowly down the stairs. She glanced at her computer in the den, the unfinished article, but found her thoughts too disorganized to continue. Maybe it was time to go to bed herself.

Richard stirred slightly as she got back into bed. He had always been a heavy sleeper, able to doze even when she was up late typing an article on her laptop right beside him. She gave his back a rub. He groaned in his sleep, turning toward her. The slight smile on his face pained her to the core.

There were so many secrets between them now… When Richard had asked her, point-blank, _"Were you in love with him?"_ she had dissembled.

"_He's Superman. Everyone was in love with him."_

"_But were you?" _he had pressed, looking into her eyes for any hint of the truth.

"_No," _she had told him.

She had been afraid to admit it at the time. But from the moment she first laid eyes on Superman again on the rescued airplane, she knew that she still felt something. And then all of the emotions she thought she had long worked through came bubbling back to the surface. How _dare_ he try to waltz back into her life again! She was happy… she had a great guy, a beautiful son… Her Pulitzer-winning article 'Why The World Doesn't Need Superman' could probably have been entitled 'Why _Lois Lane_ Doesn't Need Superman' with very little alteration.

Leave it to him to prove her wrong with his first act of return. If not for him, she would be either frozen in space or reduced to bits. Later, on the roof of the _Daily Planet,_ his presence had been so overwhelming that she had nearly kissed him.

It was just as well that she had missed the Pulitzer award ceremony. She would have felt like a fraud accepting the award for an editorial on a piece that was so clearly not true. Perry had tried to assure her that it didn't matter, _"Lois, Pulitzer Prizes are like Academy Awards. Nobody remembers what you got one for. Just that you got one."_ But she secretly felt a bit relieved… Lex Luthor's scheme had been good for something at least.

And she couldn't forget what that ordeal had revealed as well. Her little boy, her brilliant, fragile, prematurely-born boy… truly was Superman's son.

What disturbed her deeply was this: how had it happened? When Superman had left five years ago, she had been upset. Why hadn't he said goodbye? Did she mean so little to him that she didn't even rate a "So long, nice knowing you"?

Richard White had quietly entered her life, winning her over with his easy, confident manner and charming personality. And discovering she was pregnant so soon into their relationship made it easy to stay with him.

At her first sonogram, the doctor informed her that, although the baby was somewhat larger than it should be at this stage, it was not out of the realm of normal. So when she went into labor a few months early, no one had thought much of it.

Except Lois. Throughout her pregnancy, she had begun having flashes, vague but potent, of a very passionate nature. At first, she thought her subconscious mind, combined with the hormones, was dredging up fantasies of Superman again. Lord knows she'd had them enough when the superhero was still around. But the images invaded her dreams so frequently that she began to doubt herself. A particularly vivid image of his face, superimposed on a field of white, occupied her thoughts. Were these more than dreams? Had she… and Superman… made love?

But how could it be true? How does someone forget a night like that? Had she had one too many bumps on the head? They say you can only have so many of those before there is permanent brain damage. Did one of those concussions shake a few memories loose?

Late into her pregnancy, when her swollen belly had made it impossible to sleep comfortably, she had worried about it. After Jason was born, his health problems had all but pushed the possibility from her mind.

If she hadn't seen Jason's feat of strength for herself, she would still be denying that possibility. But she knew deep in her heart somehow that it was true beyond a shadow of a doubt. She had whispered to Superman what she suspected as he lay in his hospital bed. And Superman's visit tonight confirmed it – he believed it as well.

Lois Lane would get to the bottom of this mystery. One person held the answers, and as soon as she could find a way to get the truth from him…

Suddenly, a loud _knock_ from outside startled her. She looked over at Richard. He simply moaned and turned over. Grabbing her robe from the bedside chair, she headed outside and onto the deck again. In the dark, it was difficult see anything amiss. She waited, listened a few minutes, and turned back around.

_Knock._

She felt the vibration under her feet this time. Something had banged against the wooden posts below the deck. She could hear faint taps as whatever it was moved with the lapping water of the river. Lois leaned over the railing, trying to get a good look at it. But she couldn't see a thing.

She quickly went inside the kitchen, and dug inside a drawer for the flashlight, trying to keep quiet. She didn't want to disturb Richard or Jason this late at night. But she couldn't feel it in there at all, and she didn't want to turn the lights on. _Crap!_

There wasn't much else to do but go back to bed. She climbed the stairs, feeling a vague unease. Her insatiable curiosity would just have to wait until morning.

As she finally drifted off, she listened carefully for any other sounds from outside. If there were any more, they were too faint to make out. Dreams overtook her soon after.

In the pre-dawn light, just before the sun broke over the horizon, a chunk of dark, green-flecked crystal dislodged itself from the wooden posts of the deck, and came to rest against the soft mud at the foundation of the house.

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**A/N: I am deeply indebted to _betty brant_ for being my partner-in-crime from very vague outline to now hundreds of pages of notes. This story would be not be as richly detailed as it is without her. Deep and unending gratitude to you, my friend.**

**Special thanks also to Mark C, Jen K, ColtDancer and bistyboo1974 for beta work throughout the story.**


	2. Chapter 2: Odd

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 2: Odd

Lois blew out a breath in frustration. In an hour, she had to leave for work, and she still needed to put on her makeup, fix her hair… but… _Hang it all!_ Nothing seemed to be working…

She'd tried leaning over the railing. She tried to use the flashlight – _why was it up in the cabinet and not in the tool drawer, anyway?_ – but she couldn't shine it far enough under the deck to see anything but murky water. She squatted down, and tried to squeeze between the railings. She could only imagine what she looked like right now…

"Lois?" Richard's voice held a hint of amusement. "What are you up to?"

Lois withdrew her groping hand and straightened up with a grimace. "I thought I heard something bumping against the posts of the deck last night… but I can't see anything down there."

"Maybe it was just a piece of driftwood," he suggested, holding a mug of fresh coffee out for her.

She took it with a grateful smile. "Maybe," she demurred, taking a sip.

"I can put on my waders, and check under there for you after work tonight," he offered. "If it'll ease your mind."

She suddenly felt very silly. "No, don't worry about it."

The smell of warming cinnamon rolls tempted her back into the kitchen. Jason was sitting in his usual chair, already halfway into a bowl of cereal. Richard followed her in, and flipped on the morning news.

"Morning, sunshine," she greeted her son. He didn't look very tired, even after being awakened in the middle of the night. "You look cheerful this morning."

Richard noticed Jason's mood as well. "Yeah, sport. After all the excitement the last few days, I would think you'd have a hard time keeping your eyes open."

"N–" the little boy began to explain, but stopped to swallow a huge mouthful of cereal. "No, it's been great! It was scary, but… we got to help Superman. I'm so glad that he's all better now."

Lois froze, a roll halfway to her lips.

"How…?" Richard began, and then turned toward the television. At the bottom of the screen, the news crawl ran the headline: _Superman makes full recovery… Man of Steel said to be suffering no ill effects from heroic save… _Above the text, they were running footage of Superman thanking the hospital staff.

Lois turned her eyes on her son and tilted her head to the side. His mouth formed a little 'o,' and they shared a silent mother-son moment, as they had dozens of times. _Was I not supposed to say that?_ Jason communicated, eyes wide. She shook her head slightly, and gestured. _Later._

Richard turned back to the both of them, looking at their faces in turn. His eyebrows drew down, but he seemed to decide there was nothing odd going on. He finally said, "Good for him."

She deflated inwardly. Richard didn't know that Superman had visited last night, and that was fine by her – for now.

She had a laundry list of issues to deal with now that she knew Superman was Jason's father. She had to decide how she felt about Superman's place in her son's life. And she had to decide how she felt about _Superman_. Once she had done _that_, she could tell Richard, because he deserved to know, directly from her. Somehow, the adults would work out a way to tell little Jason. He was a smart little boy, wise beyond his years, but was he really ready to carry such a weight on his small shoulders?

But at the top of that list, in bold mental type, was – figure out how the _hell_ it had happened.

* * *

"But, Perry," Lois protested. "You know I was there. I went right into his hospital room, practically the only non-official person they let in to see him!" She paced the floor of Perry White's _Daily Planet _office, gesturing to make her point. "You were practically _forcing_ me to get the exclusive interview when he returned, and now you're telling me _no_?"

"Lane," he captured her with an unrelenting gaze, "the television media was camped outside the gates the moment he emerged. It's already old news. A story about his recovery, when the whole world was already waiting with baited breath?"

She needed a reason to speak to Superman. The damsel-in-distress routine would only work so many times, and truthfully, had become a little clichéd. So she tried to press her point. "What about the story about how he saved the three of us from drowning, and how we saved him in return?"

Perry nodded over at Richard, who was leaning against the bookcase. "Already gave that one to him."

She opened her mouth to object, but he silenced her with a wave. "You were unconscious for a lot of it, right?"

She quirked her lips in surrender. _Damn concussions._

"Besides, I need your instincts out on the street." Perry indicated Clark Kent, who had been sitting uncomfortably in the other chair during her tirade, with another wave of his arm. "I remember that the two of you used to make a pretty good team. Complemented each other…" Lois regarded Clark, who squirmed a little more in his seat. Perry finished, "…in your investigative techniques."

"Sure, Mr. White," Clark began nervously. She noticed afresh that Clark always seemed uneasy in his own skin – it still baffled her how he had managed to bring in big stories time after time during his earlier tenure at the _Planet_. "What did you have in mind?"

"Yeah, okay, I give up. What do you want us to do?" She may have lost this battle, but she trusted Perry's intuition when it came to finding a good story.

"I want the two of you to take Olsen with you, and cover the reconstruction after the big earthquake. Get the perspective of the man on the street."

Her jaw dropped. "What?"

"I ... I think it has potential, Mr. White," Clark piped up, the brownnoser.

She turned on him. "Of _course_ you would, _Smallville_. You probably think a story on the latest _corn harvest_ has potential." She stalked over to Perry's desk, placed her palms flat on the table, and leaned in. "There are bigger stories out there than _that_, Perry. Clark could handle this one on his own, no matter how long he's been out of the game."

"I… Well, I…" Clark stuttered, but Perry cut them both off.

"Listen." He got right into her face. "Don't you go pulling that 'Lone Wolf Lane' stuff on me again." He let up, and walked over to the window. "I've been getting reports from sources that there are a lot of problems popping up, all over town. The damage was extensive. I need someone with a talent for uncovering the truth down there. To find out if there's any kind of larger issue we're dealing with here." He turned back to Lois and Clark. "And I would rather that the two of you work together, to compare notes."

Lois looked toward Richard, hoping for a little back up. He shrugged, clearly agreeing with his uncle. Clark was going to be no help either. He always went along with everything Perry requested.

Perry's voice softened. "I know that I was wrong last week, Lois. I should have let you run with the blackout story. It might have prevented what happened with Luthor and that crystal monstrosity. But trust me on this one. Or do I have to pull rank?"

She submitted. "No, I'll do it. You can count on Lane and Kent" – why did that sound odd to her? – "to get the story." And she would just have to burn the midnight oil to work on her extra-curricular project. _Who knows? _she thought. _Maybe I'll run into the Man of Steel while we're on the story._

"Great," Perry said, dismissing them. He waved his nephew over to his desk. "Richard, let's talk some more about your piece…"

Clark nearly blocked the doorway, as they both left the editor-in-chief's office. "It'll be good to work together again, Lois." He pushed his glasses up his nose in a nervous gesture.

"Sure," she said distractedly. "Let me get some stuff together and we'll head on out."

She only half-noticed him nod, and go to look for Jimmy Olsen. A few minutes later, she was ready, and glanced around the office for the two men. Jimmy was chatting with Clark by the elevator. Clark's focus was out of the windows, though he seemed to nod at whatever Jimmy was saying. He began to straighten up, looking far taller than he usually did, and a serious look came over his face. He stiffened. Clark then seemed to make his apologies to Jimmy, and walked quickly to the stairwell.

She grabbed her purse, and met Jimmy herself. "What happened to Clark?"

"He said he just remembered he had an errand to run, and he'd meet us at the waterfront."

"Which Pier?"

Jimmy looked abashed. "He never said…"

Lois walked over to the stairwell door and stuck her head in. "Clark!" she called down. "Which Pier should we meet at?"

Her voice rang in the empty space. Maybe he couldn't hear her. But he must have only entered the door a minute ago at most, and she couldn't even hear a single footfall on the steps.

A sense of déjà vu hit her. That's right. Clark was always disappearing at odd times, wasn't he? But as undependable as he had often seemed, he always got the story. She shook her head as she came back over to Jimmy. "He was already gone. You have his cell phone number?"

Jimmy nodded, but his attention was on the bank of television screens above. On the monitor was a live report of Superman rescuing people from a collapsed office building, made weak by the recent quake. Yet another casualty of Lex Luthor's nefarious scheme. On the edges of her consciousness, a twinkle of an idea filtered through. Maybe there _was _a story here…


	3. Chapter 3: Double Image

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 3: Double Image

Lois tossed a twenty dollar bill at the cabbie, not waiting for a response. She pelted down the street in her running shoes, simultaneously tucking her high heels into her shoulder bag.

"Lois!" Jimmy called in a high-pitched voice behind her. But she was focusing solely on getting to the site of the building collapse before Superman flew away. Jimmy would catch up; he should be used to that by now.

She reached the edges of the crowd of onlookers and began to thread her way through the mass. "Excuse me. Lois Lane. _Daily Planet_," she repeated like a bad recording, until she broke out of the front of the crowd.

A uniformed officer held out a hand to stop her. Her gaze traveled from the man's unyielding palm, to his strong arm, bulbous nose and stern gray eyes. "Stay back, miss. Let the rescue workers do their job." Behind him, firefighters struggled to put out several fires that had started when a gas main had broken.

She held up the press pass clipped to her bag expectantly. "Lois Lane, _Daily Planet._"

He gave her a blank, unimpressed look. "And?"

Her eyebrows rose. "And?" Just her luck to run into the one _schmo_ on the force who didn't know her. "And…" At that moment, Jimmy pushed out of the crowd, puffing, freckled face red. "My photographer and I know Superman. He'll want us to cover the story."

At the mention of Superman, his eyebrows rose in competition with hers.

"It's true, officer. Miss Lane is practically his…" Jimmy gulped, swallowing whatever he had been about to say. She shot him an annoyed glare, and he continued, "…his press liaison. And one of his best friends."

She was about to turn on the Lane charm, when another, older officer came to back up his partner. "Joe? What's the problem here?" He then noticed who was in the middle of the ruckus, and a look of recognition came over his weathered brown face. "Oh, Miss Lane. I should have realized that if Superman were around, you wouldn't be far behind."

"She was claiming to know Superman, Bishop," Officer Joe explained unsympathetically.

"Oh, she knows him, all right…" the older cop began.

What was the man implying? Jimmy suddenly looked everywhere but at her.

Officer Bishop's eyes turned kinder at her offended face. "Don't mind him, Miss Lane," he apologized, indicating the younger policeman. "He transferred here from Gotham P.D. a few months ago. I'm sure he doesn't know how famous you are when it comes to the big guy."

During the entire conversation, Lois had been trying to keep track of Superman's movements out of the corner of her eye. This misunderstanding was costing her precious time. But she managed a polite, "May I go through?"

They conferred with a look, and then waved Lois and Jimmy past the barricade.

She scanned the windows and the sky for signs of Superman, having lost track of him. The sound of Jimmy's shutter filled her ears. _Should I call out for him?_ No, she decided. She could hardly expect him to drop everything… but that didn't stop her from wanting him to. "Superman," she whispered, so low that she could barely hear it herself. "We need to talk."

As if by magic, he appeared at an opening in the damaged wall. His powerful form was backlit by red flame. Impervious to the heat, he regarded her a long moment. She could clearly sense the regret he felt, but he knew as well as she did that his place was continuing to assist the rescue efforts.

For a suspended instant, although it must have only been seconds, the image of him, tall and proud in his blue and red uniform, surrounded by a red glow, was evoking that strangely familiar feeling again. Where had she seen this picture before? A double image superimposed upon her field of vision, and he seemed to split in half… she blinked rapidly, trying to clear her eyes.

Time sped back up to normal. The superhero nodded imperceptibly to the both of them, and then he was gone again. Turning to Jimmy, she saw he was completely engrossed in snapping photos. "The Chief is going to _love_ these!" he declared in a delighted squeak.

She was still waiting an hour later, when the last of the survivors were pulled from the rubble. Superman had long since put out all of the fires, and had mainly been involved in flying survivors to hospitals for the last fifteen minutes. The devastation was extensive. A busy office building in the middle of the morning?... she guessed that hundreds of people were involved.

At last, Superman rose above the destruction, hovering in mid-air as if he were sending his senses out all around him, and preparing to fly away. But before he did, he caught her eyes again, as if to say, _I will come find you later._ Then he zoomed away in a blur.

Frustrated, she turned to Jimmy, voice even more clipped than usual. "Did you try him again?"

"I've left _five_ voice mail messages, Lois. Clark must have forgotten to turn it on this morning."

"Well, he's just going to have to catch up to us later." Lois started off down the street toward the fire inspector. "I mean, what kind of reporter leaves his cell phone off––" she grumbled, but all at once Clark's voice cut in behind her.

"I got here as quickly as I could," he explained sheepishly. "The traffic was terrible… and my cell phone battery seems to be dead."

"You missed it _again_, Clark!" Jimmy told him excitedly. "It's like he never left. Superman, I mean."

"Well, I caught him on TV before I headed over here. They told me at the _Planet_ where you guys had run off to. It was pretty busy around here, wasn't it?"

"Oh, you _know_ it. He got it done in a _fraction_ of the time…"

Their conversation faded behind her as she walked directly up to the fire inspector. "Excuse me. Lois Lane, _Daily Planet,_" she introduced herself. "What do you think caused this building to collapse?" She held her notepad ready.

He glanced at her just long enough to see that she was indeed who she said she was, and replied, still making notes on a clipboard, "It was probably weakened by the earthquake a few days ago." Well, _that_ wasn't anything that anyone could have figured out for themselves… she pinned him with an incredulous stare. His lips turned up in a small grin. He took off his yellow hard hat and ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair. "But off the record?"

"Yes?" She put her notepad by her side.

"A building this new should have been able to withstand a quake of even _that_ magnitude. We'll be checking it out over the next few days."

Jimmy and Clark came to hover over her shoulder as she talked to the inspector, hearing only that last bit. She noticed Clark turn and gaze fixedly at the building, scanning from bottom to top. "I wonder if the building materials were substandard…" he posited.

"As far as I can tell, it was built to code… but you know contractors, anything to save a few bucks," the inspector snorted in derision.

"Do you mind if I contact you for the results of your report?" she asked the man. As he handed her a business card, she tilted her head sideways at Clark. Something about the way he had examined the building… she shook her head. He had posed a valid question. Yes, Clark Kent was a bit flighty and unreliable, but he had always had good insights.

The three of them walked toward the main thoroughfare, to try to catch a cab. It was nearly lunchtime – it was going to be difficult to find an available taxi. But just the thought of lunch made her stomach rumble.

"Hey, guys, what do you say we grab some lunch before heading back to the _Planet_? I could sure go for a–"

"A hotdog?" Clark finished for her.

She looked at him in surprise. "Yes. How'd you know?"

Clark was embarrassed. "I seem to remember you liked them…"

"That sounds great!" Jimmy interjected. "I know a terrific diner not far from here. Come on!"

"Sounds good to me," she agreed. But Clark was just standing there, with a strange expression on his face. "You coming?" she coaxed.

He shook himself from his trance. "Uh, yeah, sure."

For a moment she had that sensation again. _What is wrong with me?_ she thought, and hurried to catch her two co-workers.


	4. Chapter 4: Lunch

**A/N: With that last chapter, you all surpassed my all-time career high total number of reviews on one story! And in only three chapters! I am amazed, and very grateful. :)**

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Déjà Vu

Chapter 4: Lunch

Jimmy's face was almost comical in its disappointment.

_Closed for repairs._

The nostalgic 50s-style diner he had told them about looked like it had taken quite a hit in the recent catastrophe. What had once been a gleaming silver trailer, was now tarnished and dented. The pink neon piping was dull and lifeless. It was just as well, though. When she had passed by it before, she had never once wanted to try it. Something about the place gave her a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Isn't _Mario's_ near here?" Clark asked, looking hopeful.

Jimmy grimaced slightly. "Yeah, I think so…"

"Mmm. They have a great chicken alfredo," Lois put in. She was sure Jimmy would like it.

"If it's money, Jim, I can treat this time," Clark said kindly. "Goodness knows you've bought for me enough times when I forgot my wallet."

Jimmy's face warred between desire and embarrassment. But his stomach seemed to strike the deciding blow. "All right. Let's do it."

Clark smiled warmly, happy to help a friend. It was a nice gesture and she felt ashamed, really, that she hadn't realized that was the reason for Jimmy's earlier hesitation. Clark was actually quite a perceptive and kind man… Lois had forgotten that about him.

After only a short wait, the three of them had secured a table near the windows. Her stomach rumbled loudly as she perused the menu, and she put a hand on her abdomen, abashed. Jimmy smirked, Clark looked at her with… was that… fondness? He looked away quickly, but she had definitely seen something in those bright blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm always hungry." She began to worry. _Don't I have enough to deal with? I'm engaged to one man, have a child by another, and now I find my co-worker still has a crush on me?_ Back when they had first been partners, Clark had followed her around like a child, obviously infatuated with his colleague. She had basically ignored it then, though it had been flattering, to say the least. But now it was just annoying… one more thing to deal with. Her lips turned down in an ironic frown.

Jimmy misread her expression. "Or you don't even stop to eat at all."

Before she could respond to that, her cell phone went off in her purse. _"And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on…"_ She snapped it open, ending the ringtone. "Richard?"

"_Lois? Are you on your way back?"_

"No. We stopped for some lunch at _Mario's_ – do you want me to bring something back for you?" She glanced up. Jimmy was studying the menu, Clark was studying his hands.

"_Nah, don't worry about it, I'll grab something here in the building. Any leads?"_ he asked in a practiced tone. She smiled inwardly. He always sensed when she was onto something, even before she had mentioned it. _But what am I onto? The reconstruction story? Or the mysterious gaps in my memory?_

"I think we might be," she said, focusing on their _assigned_ story. She suddenly had a thought. "Richard, would you mind running a search for me while I'm out?"

"_Sure. I'm nearly finished with the article about the Superman rescue."_

"Great. Could you find out which buildings had the most extensive damage after the earthquake?" She tried to catch Clark's eye for confirmation. He seemed to be busily focused on his cuticles instead. "Clark had a thought while we were covering the collapse." The farm boy finally looked up. "He suggested that maybe the building materials were substandard… I want to see if this is just an isolated incident, or a much larger problem."

Richard's voice grew more excited. _"Oh, excellent angle there. Should I let Perry know?"_

"Tell Perry?" Clark nodded his head. "Sure. But it's just one lead. Tell him that."

"_He'll know that,"_ he answered in an amused voice, but then he seemed to realize something. _"Oh, wait. You guys are on George Street, right? I know for a fact that the shopping district a few blocks over was heavily damaged. You might want to check it out before you come back to the office."_

"Sure, sweetheart. Thanks for the tip." Clark was back to memorizing the ridges on his knuckles.

"_Lois," _Richard said. "_I just realized, with all the excitement in the last week, we never really got to welcome Clark back to the Planet. He seems like a nice guy. What do you say we have him over for dinner tonight?"_ She began to protest, but he stopped her. _"I could grill some steaks… make something appropriate for Jason…_" he coaxed.

She relented. "All right, any day that I can avoid take out is fine with me. Let me ask him." She tried to get Clark's attention again – what was wrong with his hands, some kind of rash? "Clark?"

"Yes, Lois?" He looked hopeful, but sad. Why sad?

She shook her head to clear it. "Richard wants to know if you would like to come over for dinner at our house tonight. You know, welcome you back to town and all that."

"Um, sure. What time?"

"I guess about eight o'clock?" She spoke these words into the cell phone receiver.

"_Eight sounds good," _Richard agreed. She nodded confirmation to Clark. _"See you in a few hours, okay? Love you."_

"Love you, too," she said, almost automatically, and ended the call. But it _was_ true, wasn't it? Even if she felt something for Superman as well? _God, Lane, you tramp…_

She ordered, her mind very much elsewhere, and was startled out of her reverie when a steaming plate of pasta was placed in front of her. She grabbed her blue cloth napkin and set it on her lap.

Lifting a forkful of food into her mouth, she looked across the table and abruptly snickered. Like a mama's boy, Clark Kent was tucking his napkin into his collar. She had to hold her hand to her mouth to keep from spitting food everywhere.

"What?" He looked at her with such a confused expression, that she laughed again.

"Clark… do you see a checkered tablecloth? Gingham curtains? This isn't your mom's kitchen."

He looked blankly at Jimmy, who was mimicking tucking a napkin under his chin.

"Oh." His eyes suddenly lit up with amusement. "Uh, actually, Lois, in some cultures, this is the height of good manners. Not just at my mother's table."

She shrugged, still smiling, but then stilled. The royal blue napkin under his chin looked so striking. As she slowly tilted her head to the side, his smile disappeared, and he pressed his lips together. In her mind's eye, his thick black frames flickered out of existence briefly. That blue set off his similarly-hued eyes in exactly the way that…

She rubbed her eyes tiredly. _I guess I just can't function on only a few hours sleep anymore…_

Lois didn't know what it was, but since just before leaving the _Daily Planet_ this morning to cover this story, she was feeling increasingly lightheaded. Not to mention tired from lack of sleep. Little things, like the vision of Superman amidst the flames, or that napkin… were causing her to zone out completely. Vaguely she could hear Clark and Jimmy in the background, discussing football or something, but she couldn't focus on anything. _What is going on? _

The meal flew by, almost without her noticing. The table was cleared, the check paid… and she found herself walking between Jimmy and Clark, heading down the street toward the shopping district. "You all right, Lois?" Jimmy asked, concerned.

"Yeah… no… I just haven't felt like myself lately." She pressed her eyelids tightly together and then tried to open them wide. "I didn't get much sleep last night. I was up all night…" _…thinking about, dreaming about, talking with Superman…_ "trying to finish my article."

Clark turned to hover over her. "We can do this later. I think we have enough information, especially with whatever Richard dug up this afternoon. Let's go back to the office."

"Sure, sounds good." She lifted her head, and noticed an odd sight. Directly behind Clark was a jeweler's window, decorated in a winter theme. _Lord, it's not even Halloween yet…_ They had really overdone it, with white fluff, pretend icicles and icebergs. But seeing the diamonds and jewels nestled among them caused a wave of dizziness.

"Lois?" Clark asked worriedly. His voice dropped in pitch. "What's wrong?"

"I -- I don't know…" she said, feeling shaky. The image of Clark, the wintry scene a backdrop for his concerned face, was bringing up a wave of powerful, but unknown emotion. She faltered, almost losing her balance, and he caught her in strangely strong arms. Clark whistled impatiently for a cab, and helped her in, somehow not at all clumsy.

She vaguely registered Jimmy getting in the front seat with the driver. Clark's presence beside her suddenly seemed comforting, rock solid… and she felt reassured. He held her hand, an arm around her shoulder in a caring but friendly manner, all the way back to the _Daily Planet._


	5. Chapter 5: A Lead

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 5: A Lead

"I'm fine!" she snapped, a little more harshly than intended, and Richard stepped back, glass of water in hand. She _was_ feeling a lot better, really, but for some reason Richard and Jimmy were fussing over her like she was nine months pregnant.

"Are you sure?" Richard pressed. He knew better than anyone how much she hated to appear weak, even to her closest friends.

Feeling sorry for her outburst, she acquiesced. "Maybe a couple of ibuprofen to go with this?" she said, accepting the glass. "But really, just let me go over this research. It's probably only a touch of something I picked up at sea."

He nodded, but still wasn't completely satisfied. "What about dinner tonight? Should we cancel? We can reschedule if you––"

"Richard." She cut him off firmly, but gratefully. "The best medicine for me will be to break this story wide open." She gestured at her computer screen.

He bent down to kiss her cheek. "All right. But promise me you'll let me know if the feeling comes back?"

"I promise." She watched him walk toward the supply cabinet, and dig around for the pain medicine she had requested.

They had arrived back at the _Planet_ about a half-hour ago. Jimmy had forewarned Richard of her condition by phone call. As soon as the elevator doors had opened, Richard had taken her from Clark Kent's arms and hustled her to her chair to sit. Clark had drifted away toward his desk, no longer needed.

She wondered again what had come over her. _It's not like I'm some swooning delicate flower, here…_ But then she chided herself. _Admit it, Lane. You only get like this in the presence of Superman._ Her dramatic fainting spell after Superman had rescued the plane was ample proof of that.

But Superman had been nowhere in sight this afternoon… Which reminded her – now that she felt better, she needed to properly thank Clark for his support earlier. She looked toward his desk. Empty. She scanned the room for him – he wasn't with Jimmy, or Perry, or anywhere else in the room. He hadn't gone off to research the story without her, had he? No, she smirked, _she_ might do something like that, but not wholesome-as-milk Clark Kent. He was probably off on some inane errand again.

She glanced at the bank of television monitors. News organizations from around the world were reporting various Superman sightings since he had recovered from his fall from the skies. _Been busy today, have you? But you can't avoid me for long…_

As she idly read through the list of damaged buildings trying to find some connection, she began to wonder if these fits of… _déjà vu_… were somehow connected as well. She broke off looking at the list, and grabbed a pencil and a legal pad from under a stack of papers.

She wrote 'DV' at the top of the tablet, underlining it a couple of times, just for good measure. She began to make a list of all the moments that had caused her to experience that strange sensation …

_Superma–– _She erased and started over. Inexplicably, she felt the urge to write in code.

_S – red glow_  
_Blue nappkin_  
_Dimonds w/ white snow_  
_C…_

She stopped. She had been about to write 'Clark's disappearances' but wasn't sure if they were related at all. In fact, she had that vision of Clark's glasses fading from his face, too… She wrote it down anyway:

_C – dissapear & glasses?_

At that moment, Richard came by and quietly placed the ibuprofen on her desk. She smiled up at him in gratitude, while simultaneously blocking her handwritten notes with her forearm. He smiled back, and went on to his office.

As she removed her arm from blocking the list, she felt a twinge of guilt. But as with anything directly, or indirectly, related to Superman, she felt the need to keep it to herself. Again she tried to convince herself: _Let me figure this whole thing out first, and _then_ I'll tell Richard everything._

She tore the sheet from the pad, folded it several times, and placed it in her purse for safekeeping. Writing things down always seemed to help her coalesce ideas in her mind. She would let them percolate a while longer…

Turning her attention back to the monitor, Lois scrolled down the page. The damage had been citywide. She pulled up her mapping program, and began to plot the locations. As she suspected, the damage spread from the quake's fault point at the waterfront, and radiated outward.

She deleted the locations from the map that were in that radius, focusing instead on the buildings – like the Harris office building from this morning – that were outside of the expected pattern.

The red pinpoints were all over the map. She could see no discernible pattern… Wait. There, on the other side of the marine district from the section with the most damage, was the warehouse complex of L & V Construction. Hmm. Interesting. Could it be the same company that handled the construction of the Harris building?

She consolidated her list and got to work. Picking up the phone, she called the zoning office for the city of Metropolis. Lois spent an afternoon on the phone with various municipal offices – wheedling if needed, barking when necessary. If there was one thing in which Lois Lane excelled, above all others, it was getting information from people willingly. In all of these phone calls, she discovered a very important fact. While not all of the buildings had been built by the same company, a considerable number had been. Her hunch about L & V seemed to be panning out.

But at about 4:30PM, she hit a roadblock. The last phone call to make was to L & V Construction. She had a story all ready to tell the receptionist… but she ran into a recording, instead: _"You have reached L & V Construction. At this time, our offices are closed, due to extensive damage to our headquarters. Please leave your name, number, and the address of the project in question_ _and one of our project managers will get back to you as soon as possible."_

_Shoot._ She glanced at the clock again. Even if they were closed, there might be _someone_ there to talk to. It was a good bet that everyone would leave by 5:00PM... But it wouldn't hurt to try…

She grabbed her purse from the floor and jacket from the back of her chair, and strode over to pop her head into Richard's office. "Richard," she announced, and he looked up expectantly. "I want to go check out a lead at the waterfront. You have any idea what happened to Clark?"

"No idea." He shrugged. "You look like you're back to your old self." She nodded, impatient to get moving. Richard's face took on a puzzled expression. "Was Kent like this before? Always disappearing at odd times?"

"I think so," she said, eyebrows drawing down. "I don't remember all that well. But it seems like it." She waved a hand in dismissal. "I'll just give him a ring, let him know where I'm headed. If you see him, tell him to call?"

Lois started to rush off, but he stopped her. "Hon?"

She popped her head in again, very briefly. "Yes. Dinner, I know. I'll be home in time."

Without waiting for his response, she blew him a kiss, and sped for the elevators. She slipped one arm through her jacket sleeve as she searched through her cell phone contact list for Clark's name. _I _know_ that I asked Clark for his number during lunch… was I so out of it that I just…?_ She found it, finally. The elevator doors opened with a _ding_ and she stepped quickly out of the building. With one hand raised to hail a cab, the other hand held the phone to her ear.

She got the voice mail again. _Will you _please_ charge up your phone, already?_ She rolled her eyes, and spoke quickly into the phone. "Hey, Clark, this is Lois. I couldn't find you earlier… but I think I might have a lead on our story. I'm heading to L & V Construction down by the docks if you want to meet me there. Otherwise, see you at 8 o'clock for dinner tonight. Bye."

Just then, a cab stopped for her. "Pier 52, please," she said matter-of-factly, sliding into the back seat.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**A/N: The spelling errors on Lois' handwritten list are intentional. ;)**


	6. Chapter 6: Need to Know

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 6: Need to Know

Lois slid the file drawer open ever so quietly, and shone her penlight across the tops of the folders. _Hanson… Harley… Hatcher… Damn!_ Nowhere in the beginning of the H's. She placed the light between her teeth, and double checked.

_Aha!_ Buried between two folders was the file she had been searching for… _Harris._ She sifted through the pages, searching for some clue, some evidence of malfeasance. She needed to find something quickly, and her nerves were beginning to fray.

She had broken into the office after she discovered the door to be locked. Luckily, it looked as if the damage mentioned on the recording had sidestepped the administrative office of the company. This wasn't her first instance of breaking-and-entering, nor would it be her last, but even a business with considerable damage would have security guards patrolling the facilities. Maybe even more so, to control looters. She needed to be fast and efficient.

Lois pulled her cell phone from her purse, and began snapping photos of any official looking pages in the file. She would have more time to study them later.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps approaching in the hallway outside. She flipped the penlight off, and stiffened in place. There was nothing else _to_ do. If whoever it was heard any movement, or the sound of the file drawer closing, they would be sure to check it out. She held her breath – it was silly of her, she knew, but…

Her luck held, and a man, a security guard by his uniform, passed by without shining a light into the window of the office. She let out the breath she'd been holding. Gently closing the drawer, she began to make her exit, but stopped. A business permit was tacked to the wall near the door. _Is that right?_ She peered at the text on the document more closely. _Est. 2004._ Wow, the company was barely two years old, by the look of it. How had they managed to snag so many high-profile contracts?

Turning back to the files, she began a search for the business charter. She needed to know who the company president was, who was on the board of directors, and so forth. She found the right set of files in a cabinet on the other side of the room and opened the first folder…

The footsteps came back. He must be returning the way he had come. The cabinet she was searching this time was right next to the window. The amber rays of sunset streamed in through the slanted mini-blinds, illuminating her form, even in the darkened room. _If only I'd thought to close those, _she reflected idly as the guard passed by the door again. She held her breath once more…

And thankfully, he passed by without specifically checking in. She got down to business again, looking for some sort of list of names.

Without warning, keys jingled in the lock. Why hadn't she heard him return? She froze, looking like a deer in the headlights, probably, as a flashlight shone full in her face.

The guard, grizzled hair poking out from under his lopsided hat, lowered the flashlight for a moment in shock. "What the–" he said, astonished to see an intruder, and a woman in professional attire at that.

_Think fast, Lane._ "Um, hi." She set the files gently back on top of the open drawer.

He seemed to recover quickly from his initial surprise. His eyes narrowed, and he resumed shining the light in her face. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, not at all amused.

She quietly closed her cell phone and slipped it back into her shoulder bag as she spoke in a chirpy voice. "I was the temp today, and I forgot to finish filing. I didn't want to get in trouble with my supervisor. You _know_ how they are: no likey, no paycheck, so…" With each phrase, she came a little closer to the door.

Lois could tell he wasn't buying any of it, not surprisingly. He began to reach for his walkie-talkie to report her.

"Wait!" she tried to stall him. "I _know_ what this looks like… And I promise you that I have a _really_ good reason to be in here after hours…" He jerked the handset from his belt.

"Oh, never mind," she said, cutting off her ramble with a well-placed kick to his paunchy stomach.

The man doubled over in pain, sinking to the floor, and she leapt over his prone figure to race down the hallway. _If Clark had only shown up to meet me here,_ she grumbled internally, _then he could have played lookout for me!_ She pelted down the hallways, slamming through an emergency exit, which, of course, set off a horribly loud exit alarm.

Hitting the open air, Lois looked frantically around for an escape route. To her right, she heard a shout. Dashing from a nearby building, a considerably younger, more athletic-looking security guard ran toward her at top speed, a walkie-talkie already to his lips. She hopped awkwardly out of her heels, and began to run barefoot, not caring what happened to her feet. She headed the only way open to her, desperate not to be caught… again… toward the pier and the open water. _Well, I've always been a good swimmer…_

Lois growled in frustration as she sprinted to the edge of the dock, "Clark! Why are you never around when I need yoooooou!" She hurled her body out over the waves, not bothering to worry about her clothes, and braced herself for the shock of cold, salty water…

And found herself speeding upward into the sky, held tightly in blue spandex-covered arms. She looked up at her savior with a mixture of relief and exasperation. "Do you wait for these moments on purpose? When you said you were always around, I never thought you meant that literally…"

He kept silent as he flew her steadily away, smiling enigmatically. He set her down on the other side of the harbor, far away from where L & V Construction was located. He had picked a quiet spot, where several ships had been anchored for the evening. Superman gently stepped away from her, and said, blue eyes sparkling, "Well, it's nice to see at least _some_ things haven't changed."

"Do you mean, me getting into trouble? Or you having to save me all the time?" she shot back.

"Well," he replied, stepping closer to her. "Both, probably."

She tried not to smile. Tried to hold her emotions in check. _My God, what is it about this man that makes you fall to pieces?_she scolded herself. The only thing she could think to do was turn away, and focus on the setting sun. If she looked into those eyes again, she might say or do something she would forever regret. "I need to ask you a question."

He kept his distance – he must have sensed that she needed space between them. "Anything, Lois."

"When I told you that…" her voice began to shake, "…that I thought Jason was your son…"

"Yes?" His rich baritone voice seemed closer than before.

"You seemed to know it was true." There was only silence to that statement. She drew a deep breath and looked directly at his strong face. "How can it be true?"

The last rays of the sun glittered in his soulful eyes. "Oh, Lois… believe me, it's true." This time, he was the one who had to turn away. "I–"

She waited, a little unnerved that the Man of Steel was at a loss for words.

He was silent for long minutes. Minutes in which she studied his heroic profile to try to catch a _hint_ of what he was thinking. She had been waiting to ask him this question since that day in the hospital, since she had gently kissed him as he lay unconscious.

No, she realized, she had been waiting to ask him since she had first begun having vivid dreams of him while pregnant with Jason. The dreams had faded into obscurity, but they had all come flooding back when she had seen him for the first time in five years on the roof of the _Daily Planet_… when they had almost… kissed…

At that moment, he spoke, breaking her train of thought. "I did something all those years ago, something I have regretted with every fiber of my being." Her thoughts of kisses flew out of her mind… he was going to tell her what had happened. After all, Superman never lies…

Wait. He… "You _regret_ it?" Her heart plummeted. "You regret what happened between us?"

He turned his intense gaze back on hers. "_No_, Lois, that's not what I regret. I _treasure_ those memories." Those eyes seemed to pierce her, holding her in an endless moment. His voice began to shake with emotion. "No, I regret what I did to you. What I did was… _unforgivable_." His hands began to tremble as well.

She reached for his hands to steady them. What could be so terrible that his superhuman strength was failing before her eyes?

He pulled his hands away from her. Then he wiped a hand across his brow, his face turning a little green. "I have to go… I think there must be… something… under the pier." He lifted unsteadily into the air, looking as if he were going to rise directly into the clouds.

"No, Superman, wait!" She stretched her hands out for him, but it was too late. He was now gaining altitude so quickly that she could barely see a red and blue blip against the sky. Why had he taken off so quickly? Was he afraid to tell her the truth?

She fumbled in her purse for her cigarettes. Lighting one in trembling hands, she took a long drag. "Superman. And I _know_ you can hear me. Whatever you did, whatever it is you think is 'unforgivable'… I need to know." She puffed again, trying to calm herself. "I need to know… why I can't _remember_."

Lois began to wander, still barefoot, back toward the foot of the dock. She looked at her watch, and swore. In a half-hour, she was expected for dinner at the house. She stepped onto the boardwalk connecting the marina to the mainland, but suddenly remembered what he had said before he had flown away:_"…there must be… something… under the pier."_

The intrepid reporter in her pushed away her nerves, and she set foot on the sand leading to the water under the dock. She looked carefully, and nearly did a double take. Could that really be what she thought it was? Directly under where they had been standing, a spike of dark green crystal poked up from the waves at low tide.

Fear started deep inside her as she remembered the sight. Superman, impossibly lifting the huge Kryptonite-laced 'continent' into space, as huge chunks of crystal dislodged and flew in all directions. Somehow, one of those chunks had come to rest beneath this pier…

Her heart leapt to her throat. It could be anywhere… _Oh, my God…_ she thought, breaking into a run, _my little Jason…_


	7. Chapter 7: Dinner

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 7: Dinner

The three males looked up curiously as Lois burst through the front door, flustered and upset. Richard, standing on the deck poking at briquettes on the grill, had an expression of, _What now, sweetheart?_ Jason, looking up from a photo album on the coffee table, displayed, _Are you okay, mommy?_ And poor, clueless Clark, holding a glass of soda in one hand as he sat beside Jason on the couch, had wide eyes showing only, _What's all this going on here? _She was eerily reminded of how she must have looked, bursting into the conference room after her flight with Superman.

Deep in the middle of her gut, her mother's intuition had screamed at her to _get home, now!_ to check on her young son, who all unknowingly, might have the same susceptibility to Kryptonite that his father had. While it was true that on the yacht, Jason had hardly reacted at all to the stuff, his exposure had been very limited. Paralyzed with fear, his little body had trembled in her arms, as Luthor waved the green cylinder in front of her son's pale face.

"_Who is the boy's father?"_ he had demanded imperiously.

At that moment she hadn't been entirely sure herself. After a second's pause, she replied, _"Richard"_ and the madman had seemed satisfied. She probably would not have answered differently anyway, even if she had known what she knew now. Information like that in the hands of Superman's greatest nemesis? She shuddered to think of it.

She gasped for breath, having raced from the cab to the door. "Sorry, I…" she gulped air. "I tried to get here as soon as I could." She wanted to scoop Jason into her arms, put her hand on his forehead, check his pulse… but she was the only one of the four who would understand why. She restrained herself enough to hold out her arms for a welcoming hug. "Come here, munchkin. Mommy's home."

He didn't hesitate. Her sweet boy ran into her arms, and gave her a soft peck on the cheek. "I'm so glad you're home."

Well, he _seemed _fine. She felt a bit embarrassed by her overwhelming rush to protect him, but she knew that the catalyst was still out there. Chunks of Kryptonite floating ever closer to Metropolis, lying in hidden thickets, hiding in shadows… She closed her eyes to the nightmare images and kissed the top of his unruly head of hair.

As she held him a long moment in her arms, Richard called through the screen door, "How did it go today? Did your lead pan out?"

She let go of her son a little reluctantly, and nodded. "I got a few pictures of some documents that might be helpful in our investigation." Then Lois greeted their guest, "Good evening, Clark," she added with more than a touch of irritation, "Nice to see you again."

He blushed boyishly, and began to stammer, "I'm so sorry, Lois. I got your message too late, and by the time I got back to the _Planet_, Richard was gone, too…"

She rolled her eyes as she led Jason to sit again on the couch. Always with the excuses. "I suppose whatever it was that kept you from helping with the story, took up _so_ much of your time that you couldn't even check in?"

Clark shifted uncomfortably in his place on the other side of the couch. Jason squirmed in his seat as well. He never liked it when she raked someone over the coals. Jason was too, no, touchingly tenderhearted toward everyone.

"Lois," Richard called from the deck. "Give him a break." The meat sizzled as he turned a steak over. "He told me that his real estate agent called and had him all over the city looking at apartments today. She told him it was today… or in three weeks time."

She looked from Richard to Clark, surprised that her fiancé was defending him so easily. Had Richard finally found a friend at the office?

"And I was, uh, starting to get tired of living out of a suitcase," Clark further explained, not meeting her eyes. She checked herself. _Lois Lane. You may be upset at not getting the truth from Superman today, but that's no reason to take it out on Clark. _

He certainly looked sorry enough, almost paler than normal. Maybe if Richard and he were developing a friendship, she could suggest Richard play tennis with him, throw a football around, anything. He needed a little sun – it would do him wonders.

His words hit her suddenly. "A suitcase? Clark Kent, don't tell me that you've been staying in a _hotel_ since you got back?" she exclaimed, dismayed.

He nodded, a little sheepishly.

"Oh, Clark," she went on, more compassionately. "Anyone could have put you up while you were looking for a place." She listed names off on her fingers. "Jimmy, Perry…" Who else? Did she even _know_ anyone else who could have done it? "…even us, for God's sake."

Jason brightened beside her. "We have an extra room upstairs that Aunt Lucy and Uncle Ron stay in when they visit," he piped up.

Clark shook his head. "I wouldn't want to put anyone out…" And before she could protest, he continued, "Besides, I found a great apartment just a few blocks from the _Planet_ today. But thank you for the offer," he added warmly.

Jason deflated. She looked into his disappointed face. Here was another of her boys who had taken a shine to Clark Kent. When they had worked together years ago, she had respected him, even hoped that he would show a little more initiative… but their friendship had never gone much past the superficial. Now that he had returned, she was seeing all sorts of new facets to his personality.

"Guys," Richard spoke up again. "It's really beautiful out here on the deck, and the steaks – and veggies – are just about ready. Why don't you grab your drinks and come on out."

Jason and Clark quickly stood up, and headed onto the deck. Lois began to shut the photo album they had been perusing – Jason's baby pictures, and first year of life. The milestones. What did a shy bachelor like Clark find interesting in _those_? He must have been humoring Jason. She grinned thoughtfully as she closed the cover. Another item for the 'Surprising Facts About Clark Kent' file that had been steadily growing the last few days.

Jason sat in the chair farthest from the water – he was still a little nervous about their misadventure at sea. Clark sat to Jason's right, and Lois took a chair facing Jason. Richard would take the seat closest to the grill, to make serving easy. A moment later, Richard exclaimed, "Wait a minute! I forgot the wine. Let me go get it." He turned to Clark. "You know how to handle the flames, right?"

"Sure… Yes, I do," he replied eagerly, and started to rise from the table.

His eagerness was pretty endearing, but Clark was supposed to be the guest of honor. "Hey, I can help out, Richard," Lois started to say, but Richard waved her down.

"Take a rest, Lois. You've been really busy today." Busier than any of them knew, she thought ruefully. "Besides, I know exactly where the wine is, and you know _you_ can't handle the cooking duties…" he kidded her.

"Great, bring _that_ up again, why don't you. And in front of company." She grimaced, and Jason giggled. "Fine. Clark, _impress_ me with the way you 'handle the flames,'" she teased, giving him a wink.

Richard handed the tongs to Clark, who took them from him. Richard smiled, and then opened the screen door and went inside.

"It's not a pig, roasting on a spit," Clark remarked as he poked and shifted the meat, "But I think this 'farm boy' can handle it." He looked at her askance, ribbing her gently. "How do you like your steak, Lois?"

"Red," she stated simply. In his eagerness, he grasped a fillet with the metal tongs and lifted it to check if it was done. Juices dripped greedily into the charcoal, and the flames suddenly shot up, startling them all. He jumped back deftly, and somehow, the steak miraculously landed back on the grill.

Richard came back with the bottle and corkscrew in hand, casually inquiring if Clark was all right, but she suddenly felt dizzy again. The scene before her eyes slipped and reeled as, in a semi-conscious state, she watched Richard take Clark's place with little fanfare, directing their guest to sit once more. Something about the sight of flames shooting high, almost engulfing Clark's hands, gave her that uncanny sensation…

Was someone calling her name? She blinked rapidly, and tried to focus her eyes. A hand settled on her arm, and the voice seemed to come as if from underwater: "—ight, Lois?" Clark's blue eyes swam before her. _How truly blue they are!_ she thought randomly, before shaking her head violently. The world finally came back into focus, and she saw that all three of the other people at the table were looking at her with deep concern.

"Lois." Richard said insistently, as if it weren't the first time he'd called her name. "Are you okay?"

"Yes… yes." She ventured a confident smile. "I just had this odd, displaced feeling… in fact, I've been having it off and on all day…" She wasn't sure if she should be bringing this up, when she didn't really even know what was triggering it. "But don't worry about me. It's already passed. I'm fine."

Richard raised his eyebrows.

"Really," she insisted. "Let's pop open that wine."

Lois could tell that Richard wanted to press the issue, especially after her damned dizzy spell at lunch today, but she caught his eyes and held them. She sent an unspoken message, _Please, darling, you know I can handle it._ He tilted his head, and gave her a _If that's what you want, dear_ sort of look… and then she broke contact. Looking at Jason and Clark, she noticed that two sets of startlingly identical blue eyes – _were they really that alike?_ – had been following that silent exchange with interest. They both looked away, embarrassed at being caught, ducking their heads in unison.

"So, who wants some?" She poured for the adults, while Jason drank a glass of bottled sparkling water.

As the four of them ate, Clark regaled them with tales of his time away, becoming less awkward with every story he told. He spoke of the lush forests of Germany, the serene beauty of a Japanese temple, the overwhelming awe of walking through ancient Incan ruins… Jason was particularly enthralled with his descriptions of going on safari in Kenya. He made them all laugh at his story of trying to cross a busy street in Cairo, cars whizzing past on all sides without a care for the foreign pedestrian in their midst… She was surprised at how much Richard and Jason seemed to hang on his every word. In fact, she was surprised at how much _she_ enjoyed the stories herself. How had she been so oblivious to the layers that had been peeling away before her eyes?

Lois looked over at her son's plate, a perpetual habit, and noticed that his food was virtually untouched. Perhaps in his fascination with Clark's stories, he had forgotten to eat. But she noticed that he seemed to have the slightest blue tinge to his lips, his head drooping a little… Concerned, she began to speak, but at that moment, he laughed at something Clark had said, and lifted his glass to his lips. The glass suddenly slipped from his fingers, hitting the table and bouncing to the floor, where it spilled its contents everywhere.

They all jumped. "Oh, no! I'm sorry, Mommy," Jason nearly wailed, upset at making a mess.

"That's all right, baby." She quickly ran over to scoop up the glass and heard Richard say, "I'll get a towel."

In the interim, Clark tried to make light of the situation. He mopped at a suddenly sweaty brow with his napkin. "Whoa, hey, I think there's _enough_ water in the river here," he tried lamely. But Jason grinned around his sad eyes, cheered a little by Clark's goofy words.

When he returned, Lois got on her hands and knees to mop up the spill. "Jason, honey, are you feeling all right? You've hardly touched your food at all." She looked into his face, which seemed a little paler now than it had.

His eyes fluttered a little. "I'm o—okay, Mommy. Just not very… hungry."

Her instincts told her differently. "I don't think so, Jasey. You look sick to me. Maybe we should put you to bed."

The disappointment and panic that flew into his eyes was heartbreaking. "No! No, I—I want to stay up. Please." But his pleading couldn't hide his trembling hands.

She began to help Jason down from his chair. "Listen, mister, there'll be other days to visit. Now it's time for you—" _Knock._ That infernal sound again, from under the deck.

She turned to look at Richard. "Did you hear that? That's what I was hearing last night."

"Well, do you want me to get the flashlight and check it out?"

She nodded distractedly. She needed to get Jason up to bed as soon as possible. "Sure."

"Jason, I hope you feel better," Clark said, with real concern. Somewhat reluctantly, he added, "Maybe I should go home now… what with the way Jason's feeling and all…"

She suddenly remembered Clark was still standing there. He wiped a nervous arm across his sweaty forehead. Lois began apologetically. "Oh, no, Clark. It'll be just a few minutes, and we can continue talking over coffee."

"In fact," Richard suggested, "Clark, I've got an extra set of waders in the garage. Do you mind coming out with me to check out this 'mysterious sound'?"

"Uh, well, I'm not… not a great…" he said in an odd, strained voice.

"Yes!" she agreed heartily. "It'll give you two some time to bond." She took Jason by the hand to lead him inside.

As mother and son walked toward the staircase, she heard Richard beckon to Clark. "So. You coming?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**A/N: You will never believe it, but at the very moment I finished typing the bit about Jason spilling his water on the floor, my daughter called out that she had spilled her drink all over (yogurt smoothie, yuck). Talk about serendipity! ;)**


	8. Chapter 8: Below

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 8: Below

"Come on, Clark," Richard cajoled. His voice floated up through the open window into Jason's bedroom. "The water's not very deep here. You'll be fine."

Lois grimaced slightly. _Keep it down a little, guys! _She had spent the last ten minutes coaxing Jason to sleep by telling him a story. He had protested just a little more, but he must have truly felt poorly, because he was already fast asleep. Nonetheless, she was afraid the noise might wake him up. He needed to rest, to gain his strength back.

"Uh, that's not it…" Clark's voice sounded nervous, almost like he was sick to his stomach. "I've had some bad experiences with water… I—I'm not a very good swimmer."

Sighing silently, she walked over to the bedroom window to gently close it. She didn't know why, but Clark's words had sounded awfully familiar. Her eyebrows lowered in puzzlement, but then she dismissed it when she glanced out of the casing.

Clark was standing right at the edge of the water, clearly arguing with himself. Richard, as patient as if he were encouraging Jason, waded slowly over to the big baby and held out a gloved hand. "Come on, I think I see something under here, and I need someone to hold the flashlight while I try to lift it out of the water."

Clark's shoulders slumped a little lower than normal, and he nodded. "Okay. I'll try to do my best." He grabbed her fiancé's outstretched hand and let the other man help him into the water.

Lois gently shut the window and began to latch it. _On second thought…_ She nonchalantly flipped it back to the unlocked position. _His father might want to check in on him tonight… if the big guy's feeling better, that is. _

She crept down the stairs, and slid the door to the deck open. Walking outside on light feet, she went to the railing and peered over the side. By this time, Clark had made it out as far as one of the posts of the deck. As he held the heavy-duty flashlight in one hand, he seemed to be gripping the post tightly with the other to keep himself upright. She suddenly remembered the time she and Clark had nearly been mugged, and he had fainted dead away. The man had _no_ stomach for danger.

"What's the matter, Clark?" she called down. He startled, looking up at her, and there was a slight cracking sound as he nearly slipped. "Whoa! Careful there, Smallville!"

"Oh, you scared me, Lois!" he said weakly. "I'm afraid that I'm not being much help to Richard."

Richard's voice, slightly muffled because of his location below the floorboards, assured him. "Just keep the light steady. Lois? Is that you?"

"Yes," she responded. "What's down there?"

"It's hard to tell… it's a couple feet under the water. I think part of it is stuck in the mud of the embankment…." he trailed off.

Lois was confused. "If it's stuck there, what's making the sound?"

"I don't know. I guess maybe the ebb and flow of the water is jiggling it enough to tap against the post here…" He was silent for several seconds, and then she heard Richard groan as he strained to move the mystery object. "Damn. It's stuck pretty well. Clark?"

"Yes?" her co-worker said, a little anxiously. He had shifted his hold on the post, and now had an arm wrapped around it.

"I think if you took one side, and I took the other, it might be easier to dislodge it." Richard grunted again, mostly likely trying again as he waited for Clark to join him.

It was a reasonable request – so why did Clark suddenly seem to panic? For God's sake, he was a grown man… didn't they have _water_ in Kansas? His blue eyes went wide, and a series of emotions crossed his face in quick succession. Finally, he seemed to come to a decision. He slowly let go of the post and stepped tentatively forward. "All right, I'll be right—"

Without warning, Clark slipped and splashed backward into the murky water, arms pinwheeling in an almost comical fashion. He began to flail in the water, thrashing about for some sort of handhold.

She should have immediately cried out for help… but her feet felt frozen to the spot. Another wave of vertigo hit her, and she reached blindly for the railing, catching herself from toppling over. Clark's movements became unnaturally sluggish, as if her brain was processing the sight before her in slow motion. She saw another river, another place and time, where this situation had been reversed. She was the one thrashing in the water… Clark running alongside, frantically shouting her name… But when had _that_ ever happened?

Lois snapped back to reality with a jolt. "Oh, my God, Clark!" she cried out. Slipping out of her shoes, she ran down the deck stairs and to the edge of the water. She stepped off of the bank, and began to wade toward him, dress and all.

Richard had already pushed his way through the river water and grabbed Clark around the chest, just as she drew alongside them. Clark's panicked movements suddenly ceased, and then his eyes rolled into his head. He had fainted. Again.

"Clark!" Richard slapped his face a couple times, trying to wake him up. "It's no use," Richard determined after trying to shake him. "He's out cold."

"Let's get him inside," she suggested.

Richard nodded, and began to heave him up out of the water, but faltered. "Wow. He's… heavier than I expected."

Lois put her arms under one of Clark's armpits, and Richard shifted to the other. They lifted in unison, slowly dragging him toward the steps. Richard was right – not only was Clark heavy, but seemed rock solid. _What do they feed those farm boys back in Smallville?_

They arduously hauled his dead weight to the stairs and set him on one of the steps. Clark suddenly sputtered, coughing up water.

"That's it, Clark," she said, thumping lightly on his back. "Get it all out." She turned to Richard, who was hovering beside them. "Could you go get some towels… maybe some dry clothes for him…?"

"Sure," he said and went back inside the house.

Lois rubbed his back gently. "Clark? Can you speak?"

"Ye—" A cough interrupted his answer. "Yes, thank you." He managed a feeble smile. "I don't know how I'll ever live down…" Another cough. "…almost drowning in four feet of water…"

She chuckled briefly. "You scared us out there. What happened? Did you slip?"

"I've never been a good swimmer, Lois. I guess I panicked." He looked even paler than he had earlier tonight, if that was possible.

She shivered, and stood up, holding out a hand for support. "Do you think you can stand? I think we should get inside as soon as possible."

He nodded, grabbing her hand. They nearly overbalanced, he was still so shaky. She wrapped his arm over her shoulders, grabbed him around the waist and they stumbled together the rest of the way up the deck stairs and into the house. He felt warm, too warm, in fact. Almost feverish. She was shivering in the night air, herself. She hoped Richard would get back quickly with the towels.

Just as she began to fumble open the screen door, Richard appeared with towels, and a couple of robes. Lois wrapped him in a towel. Together, she and Richard laid Clark out on the sofa, water stains be damned.

Lois put her own soft robe around her shoulders, and sat next to Clark. Then she looked up at Richard, who for some reason, was still drenched. She began to chide him for not changing out of his wet clothes, "Richard…" but he held out a restraining hand.

"I'm going back out there. Now that I know where that thing is, I'm going to go get a crowbar, and try to pry it out."

Clark suddenly groaned beside her. She patted his hand comfortingly.

Richard bent down to kiss her cheek. "You'll be okay, taking care of Clark?" She nodded silently, turning back to her patient, and her fiancé made his way once again to the garage for the crowbar.

That groan hadn't sounded good at all. Lois put her hand to his forehead, almost flinching at the heat, and he closed his eyes. The warmth coming from him was almost ridiculously high. "Wow, you're burning up, Clark… Let me go get a cool compress…"

He protested faintly as she ran to soak a washcloth in cold water. Wringing it out quickly, she brought it to him on the couch. Lois reached for Clark's water-spattered lenses… but he caught her wrist in one of his large hands. "Don't…"

But she was too intent on trying to cool him down. She used her other hand to remove them before he could stop her and placed them on the coffee table. Pushing his wet hair back from where it had plastered to his forehead, it curled to the side as she began to place the compress…

And she stifled a gasp.


	9. Chapter 9: Waves

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 9: Waves

Lois reeled, her hand fluttering down from her mouth. _No, it can't be… Not after all this time…_

Clark and Lois stared at each other, unmoving, wide blue eyes locked with confused hazel ones. Then her hand flew back up to her forehead as another round of lightheadedness hit her. She drew a deep, shuddering breath.

Clark closed his eyes, clearly bracing himself.

She didn't believe what she was seeing – that hair, those eyes – she didn't _want_ to believe what she was seeing. If it was true, why the weak act? Did he _want_ her, however subconsciously, to figure it out? Was he too cowardly to just come out and _tell_ her?

She tried to say something, anything… but her gift of gab had totally failed her. Inexplicably, she found herself drawn downward toward him, like a woman possessed, drawn toward those lips. Those lips which must have, at one time, been very familiar to her… She tried to stop herself, but it was as if some part of her mind was driving her forward, and she no longer had any control.

When her lips reached his, his eyes flew open again, shocked that _this_ was her reaction. An instant passed, and then he reciprocated. Their lips slid slowly across each other's, their contact gradually growing more and more intense. She gasped again at the familiarity of his tender mouth on hers, and drove her lips deeper into the kiss as he responded in kind. Some other sequestered part of her brain was warning her that Richard was just outside, could come through the door at any time…

She finally listened to that voice, and pulled away with a firm shake of her head. "Lois…" Clark began in a deeper voice. But the dizziness had _not_ gone away – it had only worsened… She closed her eyes, and the world began to spin. She would have toppled backward off the couch, if he hadn't taken her arm in a warm, strong grasp.

Like a dam bursting, memory upon memory tumbled in a swirling mass. One after another, they assaulted her senses, finally free after years of being locked away in some unused portion of her mind. Although the turmoil inside her would have been almost invisible to Clark's concerned gaze, she was suddenly drowning in recollections. They sifted themselves into some semblance of order, as each wave crashed over her…

_Niagara Falls… Lois was annoyed that Perry had sent her up here to cover some puff piece with wet-behind-the-ears Clark… the indignity of having to pretend to be newlyweds!_

_So far from Metropolis, Lois was shocked to see Superman appear, rescuing a child who had fallen backward over the railing into the falls… And Clark, once again, was suspiciously absent. A glimpse of him without his glasses made her suspect that the Man of Steel had been right under her nose the whole time…_

_The river… she threw herself into the rapids, expecting to be saved, and got nothing for her trouble but sopping wet._

_The blazing fire… She brushed her wet hair out in front of the 'romantic' fire pit in the center of the honeymoon suite. Clark, clumsy as always, tripped and fell, immersing his hands in the flames. He should have been badly burned, but somehow his hands were miraculously unmarked._

_His glasses… Clark turned toward her, resignation in the set of his shoulders, and removed the black frames. She declared her love for him, and he seemed a changed person. No longer human or alien, but something that spoke of both heritages._

_The crystals, the snow… He brought her to his Fortress of Solitude, and they talked as they ate dinner. In the midst of her wonder, she couldn't help feeling that this was the strangest date she had ever been on, not that she'd really had many boyfriends what with her non-stop drive to be the best reporter in Metropolis…_

_The red glow… She watched as he spoke to a surreal triple vision of his Kryptonian mother. The woman granted Superman a chance to be with his true love, but he would have to give up his superhuman abilities. As the red rays of his homeworld's sun enveloped him, her only thought was that he had done this thing for _her_. It was almost more than she could comprehend._

_They had made love tenderly, passionately, in a large silver bed. He had been tentative, but eager, and it thrilled her to the core. For the first time, she could see that Clark was not as much of a disguise as she had first thought._

_The diner… Clark had tried to defend her honor to some low-life trucker. He had been shocked at the sight of his own blood, and soon after, they saw the images of a world gone mad with terror because of three Kryptonian invaders. She began to realize that maybe they had been selfish to take Superman away from a world that needed him._

_He had left her to try to stop them, and she lived in a state of fear that she would never see him alive again. He was as vulnerable as anyone now. But his reappearance in uniform, back to his superpowered self, allayed her fears only a little. He had defeated them finally by turning the same process on them that he had used on himself earlier. Powerless, they had been taken care of easily._

_Later, seeing him in his Clark Kent attire, and knowing that the man she loved could truly never be hers because he rightly belonged to the world, she had begun to sob. Why couldn't he be _both?_ She hated herself as she cried, cried for what they could never have…_

_The kiss… he had kissed her deeply, with a sort of finality. And all the pain, all the questions, had been utterly washed away…_

"Oh, my God," she breathed, speaking at last. "_You_…"

The screen door slid open. Richard walked in carrying something large and dripping in his arms. "I finally pried it from the mud… I think it must have come from the island Luthor created…"

She vaguely noted that Clark had snatched his glasses from the table and curled up into a fetal position. Like a slap to the face, Lois saw that Richard was carrying a mass of dark green crystals in his hands, some of the detritus that had fallen from the continent which was now orbiting the sun. The implications hit her hard… Clark… _Jason!_

She bolted upright, and raced over to Richard. "We have to get…!" she said in a panicked voice, before clamping her mouth shut. Richard had no idea why the rocks were so dangerous. He looked at her curiously, and she tried to cover her tracks. "…have to get Clark into some dry clothes." Richard's eyebrows raised slightly. "What? Do you think _I_ want to change his underwear?"

Richard laughed. "All right. But what do we do with this k—kry—"

"Kryptonite," Clark said faintly from the couch.

"Yes, kryptonite. If I remember, the stuff's pretty dangerous to Superman."

"Here," she said shortly, holding out her hands for it. "I'll take it into the garage or something. We need to let Perry know what we found, maybe we can call one of the research labs in town."

He shrugged, completely unaware of the drama she was trying to avoid, and lifted it into her arms. "It's lighter than it looks, as large as it is."

Richard was right. Although she had a little trouble getting a good hold on it around the jagged edges, it didn't weigh all that much. Richard turned his back to her, and began to pick up the dry clothes he had laid on the chair.

Clark stared at her, and she at him. She knew he was grateful that she was helping him out, but confused at the same time. For one wicked moment, she warred between stalking close to him with it, to watch him writhe… and getting it as far away from her… _their_… little boy as humanly possible. But she pushed those thoughts away – there were more important things to worry about.

"Clark, can you stand?" Richard said in a gentle voice. He began to help Clark from the sofa as she opened the garage door and stepped inside.

Once inside, she leaned against the door and exhaled shakily. She had somehow kept her composure, and acted responsibly. But God… what was she going to do? Not just with the kryptonite, either. With Clark's true identity, knowing that she was unwittingly working _right beside_ the father of her child… knowing what he had _done_ to her. Her blood began to boil and at the same time her stomach dropped, her face flushed with shame. She pushed roughly away from the wall, slapped the garage door opener, and grabbed the garden shovel from its hook. Then she stalked off into the night, carrying her burden.

The wooden handle banged her shins a few times as she walked, trying to find a suitable place to bury the crystals, but she didn't care. There was lead in soil, right? They always warned mothers to protect their children from accidental lead poisoning… she laughed humorlessly. She was the only mother on Earth… well, maybe only one of two… who could use it to save her child.

When she had walked about a half-mile, she came to an empty lot. This would do for now, until she could figure out a more secure location. She set the kryptonite down gently, and then set herself to work, viciously plunging the metal head of the shovel into the earth.

Superman… Clark… it all made sense. She considered herself to be the best at what she did. The _best!_ If anyone could suss out Superman's secret identity, it would be Lois Lane! And she _had!_ That was what killed her! She had figured out the biggest secret of the century, and it had been _ripped_ from her mind with one Judas kiss.

That's the way she felt. Used. Abandoned. Betrayed with a kiss. Yet it was a kiss that had started the process, wasn't it? Their almost-kiss had sparked something in her brain, enough to remind her of her earlier questions about Jason's possible paternity. The one-sided kiss in the hospital must have begun the déjà vu process. And the final kiss this evening, full of passion from both parties, had brought it all back, in much the same way it had been removed.

By the time she had worked through this realization, the hole was dug, the kryptonite buried and covered over with earth. She walked back to the house more slowly, a cold anger beginning to suffuse her limbs. She opened the door to the house, now cool and collected, and gazed icily at the man she… no, she couldn't, wouldn't think it now.

Richard and Clark were talking on the couch, Clark looking a hell of a lot better than he had earlier. She could see the worry leap into his eyes at her return, and so she announced, "I decided it might be better to bury it a ways off. That way, no one else will accidentally stumble on it before we can tell the authorities about it."

"Okay… I guess you have more experience with it than I do…" Richard shrugged.

Clark regarded her with gratitude as he stood. "I—I guess I should get home now. I'm so sorry I troubled you both. Thank you for the wonderful dinner and the great company." He was ever the gentleman, even when he was on edge.

"Sure, Clark, any time," Richard said warmly. "Take care and see you tomorrow." He held out his hand to shake.

Clark took it, and shook it limply, but his gaze was all on Lois. Now was not the time to discuss the huge secret simmering between them, not with Richard standing there and a sick little boy upstairs. "Good night. See you at the _Planet_…" she held his eyes a beat longer than comfortable, and added as significantly as she dared, "…_Clark._"

**End of Act I.**


	10. Chapter 10: Him

**A/N: Wow, you guys, I love you so much! I almost wanted to end the last one with "Begin Intermission Music" – and for some reason the organ music from the scene in _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ flashed into my mind… entirely inappropriate, but I guess that's just the way my mind works…**

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Déjà Vu 

**Act II:**

Chapter 10: Him

Lois was nursing a tall cappuccino as she and Richard rode the elevator to the newsroom. She was already on her third cup of coffee since breakfast. It had been a _long_ night.

She had hardly slept, her mind kept going over her recovered memories. She had been so happy, those precious few days when she thought that they would be together forever. The whole experience had been… not quite real… but amazingly real at the same time. And now those beautiful days were tainted with a wash of anger, which had been simmering all these hours. She gripped the paper cup a little too tightly as the elevator slowed and came to a stop.

The doors opened.

She took a swig of caffeine courage and purposefully walked into the room.

She scanned for _him_ – she couldn't deal with even thinking either one of his names right now – as inconspicuously as possible. Not at his desk. Not in Perry's office. She breathed an unexpected sigh of relief. He wasn't here yet.

She gave Richard a brief parting kiss, trying not to remember the one from the night before, and briskly walked to her desk. She unceremoniously dumped her coat over the chair and purse by the desk, and sat down. It was time to get to work. She pushed all of the rage down to deal with later. Lois Lane might be a _little_ hot-tempered, but _no one_ would dare say she was anything but a complete professional.

They would be meeting with Perry in about a half an hour, to give an update on the reconstruction story that they had been working on. No, damn it, that _she_ had been working on, while he was out looking at apartments… Or saving the world. Whatever.

She yanked her purse from the floor, nearly spilling everything out in her irritation, and began digging for her camera phone. She had to see if she could upload the photos she had taken in the L & V Construction office yesterday. Thank God she hadn't been forced to actually plunge into the water to avoid her pursuers… but that brought a thought of _him_ again and she shoved it aside, much like the disordered contents of her purse as she searched.

_Crinkle._ Her hand closed on a yellow sheet of folded paper. The DV List. She opened it slowly and read through it again. She closed her eyes against hot tears, which she blinked away as she folded the paper and began to toss it in the wastebasket.

She stopped. _He_ could easily read it, figure out what it meant. He obviously knew that she had discovered his secret. But what he _couldn't _know is that the memories he had erased had all come back. And for now, she intended that it stay that way.

So she crumpled the paper into a tiny ball. Wait. His X-ray vision could easily read through mere crumples. She hurriedly smoothed it out and threaded a wrinkled corner into her shredder. When the machine was nearly finished chewing it to bits, she panicked again. His super-speed could reassemble the pieces in moments! She lifted the mechanism from the collection bin, and retrieved her cigarette lighter from her purse. Flicked it on…

"What are you _doing_, Lois?"

Jimmy stood next to her desk, looking at the flame with a mixture of amusement and puzzlement. Beside him, carrying an armload of files and looking very much the worse for wear, stood her erstwhile 'partner.'

She flipped it off. Had she gone insane? "Oh, nothing. Testing a theory." She nonchalantly tossed the lighter back in her purse and replaced the shredder.

"Good morning, Lois," _he_ said, eyes haggard.

She assembled her face into a mannequin-like mask. "Good morning." None of the pain and anger she was feeling showed outwardly except in her eyes. Inside, her heart raced – and she figured he could probably hear it – but damn him, she would not give him any chance to explain. He could grovel right here in front of the whole bullpen, and she wouldn't care…

Jimmy had begun talking, somehow oblivious to the tension between them. "…and we were able to find out some more about this…" He paused and finally noticed that neither one of his co-workers had been paying him the slightest attention.

_He_ snapped out of it first. "Yeah, Lois. We were doing some digging around in the _Planet's _morgue, and I think we stumbled across an interesting news item."

She shrugged and turned her attention back to her purse, finally pulling out the phone. She spoke to Jimmy, pointedly not responding to _his_ words. "Would you mind just setting the files here? I want to know… I just need to get these photos uploaded before our story meeting with Perry."

"Sure thing, Miss Lane. Clark told me you had quite the adventure getting those yesterday." He laughed, impressed. "Good old Lois."

Her eyebrows lifted as she looked at _his_ apologetic face, and she tried desperately not to spit nails. "He did, did he?" The words came out with only a _trace_ of venom. "Yes, well, all in the line of duty, I always say. If you boys don't mind…?" She gestured to her computer, hoping they would _both_ take the hint.

As the two men went back to their respective desks, Jimmy talking away about something or other, _he_ sent glances her way. She was glad he hadn't pressed the issue. In fact, he'd been smart enough not to come check on Jason last night. She shuddered to think what she might have said or done with no cooling-off period…

Lois attached the data cord to the USB port and began to sift through the photos. They were pretty blurry, but maybe image enhancement software could make them clearer. All pretty standard stuff though. Layouts, lists of services rendered, contracts… if only she had been able to get a copy of the company's charter, or list of board members! A second trip was probably in order, if she could only figure out how to get back in there. Their security would undoubtedly be tightened after her little act of espionage.

Well, at least she had her list of damaged sites. The list, coupled with her suspicions about the relative newness of the company were enough to go on for now. She started to reach for the file Jimmy had deposited on the ledge, only _he_ would be so old-fashioned that he wouldn't just search the online archives…

"Lane! Kent! Let's hear about that story you two are working on!" Perry called gruffly from the doorway of his office.

"Be right there, Perry…" she called over her shoulder, gathering up her notes and the file, just in case.

As she stepped through the doorway, _he_ followed like a puppy dog behind her. She took a chair next to the right-hand corner of Perry's desk, and he leaned awkwardly against the bookcase.

"All right, tell me what you've got." Perry said, all business.

Before Clark could make excuses, she jumped in. "Well, Jimmy and I went down to the Harris Building collapse yesterday morning. In talking with the fire inspector, he suggested that a building as new as that one should not have been as damaged as it was. With Richard's help, I did some research on the other damaged buildings around the city. Quite a few of them were built within the last two years, and many of those by the same company: L & V Construction. I went to their offices to do a little 'research'…" She took a breath in her report to look at her partner, daring him to interrupt. When he didn't, she continued. "I wasn't able to dig up much dirt, not yet. But I think there's a larger story here, Perry."

Perry frowned in thought. "You may be right, Lois… Kent? What's your take on this?"

In that high-pitched, eager, and now_ irritating_ voice, he began, "I agree with Lois, Mr. White. The Harris Building might have been constructed with substandard materials, and if Lois' hunch is right, we need to follow up on it."

She suddenly remembered the odd scanning look he had given the building yesterday, and realized a basic truth with a shock. All this time, all his years as a reporter, he had been using… no, _abusing _his gifts in his line of work. Some _hero _– save the day, cheat the system. All those times he had scooped her, and she had thought it was just bad luck…

She fairly growled as she put in, nodding toward _him_ – she was still unable to speak his name, "We haven't had much time to compare notes yet. I hardly saw him yesterday… as _busy_ as he was…"

"Busy, Kent? Tell me what you've found out." Perry leaned interestedly over his desk.

_Ha, ha, caught, you sneaky sonofa…_

"I—I think I may have an idea about the ownership of L & V Construction."

Lois' mouth dropped open. Even _he_ couldn't have beaten her to that information… how did he…?

"If you don't mind, Lois." He gestured to the file folder Jimmy had given her. She handed it over numbly. He opened the contents of the file and pointed to a particular clipping inside. "Look at the engagement announcements here…"

Lois' curiosity got the best of her, bitter or not, and she peered at the small print.

He continued. "If I'm right, then I think I have a pretty good guess what the letters L and V might stand for…"

Her eyes went wide with the implications… and she involuntarily spoke the names aloud. "Luthor… and Vanderworth."


	11. Chapter 11: Gifts

Déjà Vu

Chapter 11: Gifts

Lois looked from the clipping to _his_ face. He was wearing a pleased but modest expression, not looking at her yet. She quickly looked down again, before he could catch her eye, her mind suddenly racing.

_Vanderworth_. In all the excitement surrounding the power outage, her kidnapping, the kryptonite island, and Superman's injury… she had forgotten that the Vanderworth mansion was where it had all begun. Lois had simply assumed that Lex commandeered the ship. She hadn't realized there was more of a connection to the Vanderworths. Luthor and Vanderworth – she shuddered when she looked again at the woman's age – had been engaged? Her reporter's mind was filling with questions. For how long? How did they meet while he'd been in prison? Did the two families have some sort of long-standing relationship? Had they actually gone through with the marriage?

She was secretly impressed – he had made a connection that she had missed. But a small, petty voice inside was encouraging her to play devil's advocate. "Luthor and Vanderworth may have been engaged… but how does that automatically translate to L & V? He just got out of prison."

"Yes… yes, he did. But look at the rest of the article." He pointed to a particular sentence. _'The couple began their long-distance courtship while Mr. Luthor was serving time in jail. They corresponded for some time before realizing their true feelings for each other…' _"There aren't any details here about how long they were in contact. Don't you think it's possible that this had been going on for quite some time?"

Damn, he had a point there…

"You've got a point there, Kent," Perry put in.

Lois grimaced at hearing her thoughts reflected. "We need proof," she argued, probably more harshly than necessary. "It would have been nice if you hadn't kept me in the dark before…" She left the accusation hanging on purpose. Lois pierced him with a look full of meaning. He pressed his lips together regretfully, but held her eyes, a spark of the other side of his personality glimmering there.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Perry look between the two of them, slightly perplexed. The editor-in-chief harrumphed and broke the tension. "Well, it sounds like the two of you have another lead to follow up on. Kent, go check the archives for more information on the Vanderworths. Lois will join you shortly."

"Sure, great. I'll let… Um, nevermind. See you in a few minutes, Lois." He nearly stumbled in his haste to get out of the office.

She waved dismissively as she left, and she turned back to Perry. "Yes?"

Perry came around the front of the desk and took the other chair. The older man glanced at _his _retreating form for a moment, fixed her with a level gaze, and began more quietly, "Lois."

She looked over to where _he_ was just sitting down at his desk. "Why are you lowering your voice, Perry? It's not like he can _hear_ anything." _He_ had the grace to freeze for a second before starting to type at his computer keyboard.

Perry wasn't fazed by her left-field comment. "I thought you were on board with being Kent's partner on this story. Are you going to keep fighting me on this?"

"No," she said, frowning. "I've just been remembering how unreliable he has always been. I feel like I'm _already_ doing most of the work here, and we've only been at it for one day!"

"You never minded doing most of the work before…" Perry's eyes twinkled as he added, "…when it meant you got most of the credit."

"You're right," she smiled, a little embarrassed.

"And you may well be the finest reporter the _Planet_ has ever known…. _but_… Kent is a damn fine newsman himself. He is an excellent writer, and is able to get seemingly impossible stories."

_Yeah, and now I know how he does _that_…_ She rolled her eyes.

Perry misread her expression, and added, "I don't know what's suddenly gotten into you, Lois…"

She shook off her feeling of ill-will. "I'm sorry, Perry. Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it. I'm sure I can find a way to work with him." Suddenly, Lois felt bad that she had let her feelings for _him_ spill over into her work. She was _not_ going to let it affect her job. "Now if you'll excuse me… I'll get back to work."

Perry nodded brusquely, looking relieved that the conversation hadn't dissolved into a shouting match – not this time, anyway. She left the office and started out of his office door.

She stopped just outside the door and took a deep breath. All right. If she was going to have to work with the man, she might as well get to it. _You've faced worse than this, Lane. Terrorists, plane accidents, power-hungry aliens…_ Okay, well, so the last one wasn't so far removed from this situation. She felt a wash of hurt and disappointment rush through her quickly – _he _had seemed to be the _one_ being on Planet Earth who had always wielded his power for good. But now that she knew what he had done to her… for whatever reason…

The pain was replaced with angry determination. Sure, he kept looking at her with those hang-dog looks, trying to apologize with his eyes. But she was sure he was only sorry for keeping his identity from her, the father of her child. Not for what caused her to forget it in the first place. _Grrrr._

She walked over to her desk and tried to call out to him, to get him to come over to her desk. "Hey! Let's get to work!" Typing steadily, his face turned away from her, he didn't move out of his chair. _I know you can hear me, you big, dumb, clueless alien…_

She tried another tactic. "Excuse me, you over there! If we're going to work together, let's get to it!" Still nothing. Was he doing it on purpose, just to aggravate her?

Finally, she gave in and used his name. In a small voice, she said, "Clark. I know you can hear me." He slowly swiveled around in his seat and looked at her earnestly. With that simple act, she was finally acknowledging the huge issue between them, and they both knew it. She continued in the same quiet voice, more fire than courtesy in her eyes, "Can you _please_ push your stupid useless glasses up your nose and get over here?"

He smirked a little as he obeyed. He always did seem to like her acerbic sense of humor. _Well, happy to oblige, 'farm boy.'_

"Lois… we need to—"

She cut him off, very business-like, not meeting his eyes. "So tell me what you've found out about Luthor and Vanderworth."

There was a long pause while she shuffled some of her notes around. Let him squirm. She would not let him try to explain now, not here. It would happen on her own terms. He owed her that.

He finally began, with a sigh. Strangely enough, when he spoke, it was a mixture of the nervous, shy Clark, and the confident, strong Superman. Was this his 'true' voice? She pushed the thought aside, irritated, and listened to his words. "I found out that Luthor and Vanderworth were only married a short time; she died only a couple of weeks ago. But unfortunately, she signed over her entire fortune to him right beforehand. He apparently kicked out the whole family and made off with the yacht." The disgust was clearly evident in his voice.

She could agree with him on that at least. He moved closer to her to show her a printout he had made, and his jacket sleeve brushed her arm. She tried not to leap back, but she hurriedly withdrew her arm just the same. "Well, uh, still. If she only signed over the fortune a few weeks ago, then that doesn't jive with the company's age. The charter I saw on the wall of the office said 2004."

He stepped back from her, giving her space. "They _were_ corresponding while he was in prison. Maybe the company was set up as some sort of… gift?"

"Maybe." She lifted the ballpoint pen she had been holding for the last few minutes and tapped it against her mouth.

"Look, I know you're upset about—" he tried again.

She wouldn't let him change the subject. She had a question for him, anyway. "Clark," she interrupted, showing him with a cold look that she wasn't ready to discuss _anything _yet, "How in the world did you have time to find this information in the paper archives this morning?" She tilted her head and added, "And why didn't you use the online archives?"

"Well," he began sheepishly, "It's actually a lot faster for me to… you know… scan the files."

Her eyebrows lowered in puzzlement. "No, I don't know."

"Um. Okay." He pointed toward her binders full of contacts. "Pick a name from one of those files. Any tidbit, really."

_So what? He could really…?_ She thought a moment, and suggested, "Vance Braden."

"Second from the right, page 36," he said without hesitation. She hefted the thick binder and counted the pages. Sure enough, it was right where he said. She looked at him in surprise, and a little grudging admiration, and he shrugged.

He geared up to try again, maybe hoping her impressed face was a good sign? "Lois, I need to…"

"Clark." She suppressed the spark of fury that ignited as she said his name a second time. "It's hard enough that we work at the same place. And add in that we have to work together on this story… Please. Don't make this any harder for me than it already is." She turned away from his sympathetic gaze, the tears springing to her eyes unbidden. Only he could affect her this way! She swallowed. "I'm not ready to talk about this yet, okay?" she finished in a quiet voice.

"Sure. I understand," he gently assured her.

An awkward silence settled between them, and she wiped a hand surreptitiously across her eyes. She took another deep breath, turning to face him again. At that unlucky moment, she caught Richard's eye. He had been walking toward Perry's office. He stopped, concern etched on his features.

What a picture they must make! She must look a wreck, red-rimmed eyes, wiping tears… and Clark, shifting nervously from foot to foot as if he were the guilty party.

He was, but now was not the time to deal with everything, not yet. _Will it ever be time?_ a small nagging voice asked her, but Richard was already walking toward them again.

"Lois? Are you okay?"

She tried to cover, desperate that he not see the change in her and Clark's relationship. "Yeah, just had something… in my eye…" she finished lamely. _That's the way to think on your feet!_ she thought sarcastically.

Clark had grabbed a tissue, and was dabbing under his glasses. "I—I think I might have a touch of allergies, myself." He was back to that high-pitched chirp of his.

"Well, okay…" Richard didn't sound entirely convinced. "I'm heading to Perry's office. Are we going to have lunch at our usual place?"

She looked at Clark, who suddenly looked very uncomfortable. She was now keenly aware of why he had always seemed uncomfortable in Richard's presence.

"I'm not sure. It depends on how the investigation is going." Suddenly a thought came to her, and she went with it. "Clark and I are going to take a field trip."

"Well, call me if you think you'll be able to make it, then." Her fiancé gave her a warm kiss on the cheek before heading into Perry's office.

Lois logged off her computer, grabbed her purse and her notepad. "Come on, Invisible Man." She started off toward the elevators, sure he would be right behind her. She pressed the down button and said to herself, but loud enough for him to hear, "We're going to put those special gifts of yours to good use."


	12. Chapter 12: Uncovering the Truth

**A/N: I love all the feedback, guys. Because of you, this is now the longest story I have ever published. And as those of you who review know, I try to reply to each and every review, if I can. So log in if you have the time! I love the dialogue. **

**I've already made some really great new friends through the Superman section – you all know who you are! And a hearty shout-out to all the Spidey fans who jumped over here to read/help out with this story! You make my heart glad… :)**

**Oh, and I can't forget the Smallville people either! I'm a big fan of the well-written stories that Clois inspires. Even though I've never written a Smallville Clois story, your support has been wonderful. Pimp the Clois!**

**Okay, on to the chapter…**

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Déjà Vu

Chapter 12: Uncovering the Truth

"Remind me what we're doing here again?" Clark gave her one of his ridiculous ineffectual looks.

She tried desperately not to roll her eyes at him. "We need to find evidence that Luthor is somehow linked to this operation, right?" He nodded shortly. "So. We're going to use that super-speed scanning talent of yours to search for it. See if his name is referenced anywhere in the documents."

"And I'm going to do it all from here." The two of them were perched on the edge of the rooftop opposite the main office of L & V Construction, but hidden behind the brick ledge. She absently rubbed at her kneecap, which had been scraped in clambering up the fire escape. Clark had offered to give her a 'lift'… but she had refused. She knew that being in his arms would be too much to deal with right now.

"Well, you know _I_ can't set foot in there. Security will be on the lookout for me after last night's fiasco." _Thanks again for not being there, by the way,_ she thought again with irritation. "And besides – this is much more efficient. No fuss. No muss."

He arched a questioning eyebrow at her. The more time he spent in her presence today, the more he unconsciously shed the bumbling façade, showing her what she was beginning to suspect was his true personality. How he juggled it all… she dismissed the thought.

"Come on, Clark. You can't tell me that you haven't _ever_ used your x-ray vision to spy on someone?" Clark shifted uncomfortably under her disbelieving gaze.

His reaction was all the proof she needed. She gestured impatiently across the street.

He tried arguing once more. "Even if I find something, without hard evidence, there's no way any of our suppositions will hold water."

"We'll worry about getting the 'hard evidence' as soon as we know there's something to get. Why waste time searching for something that isn't there? This will save us hours… and you know it."

Clark's lips quirked upward just a tad. He nodded in acquiescence, and turned his gaze toward the office.

She studied him quietly as his clear blue eyes rapidly shifted back and forth behind the lenses of his glasses. With his attention all on his task, she had a chance to really observe him for the first time since she'd discovered his secret. _Re-_discovered, she amended mentally.

Even behind the glasses and old-fashioned suit, he had an air of power and confidence as he worked. Man, he must have really done a _number_ on her memory if she hadn't seen through him immediately on his return. It was so _obvious_ to her now…

He broke into her thoughts. "Lois," he said seriously, turning his face fully toward her. "I see absolutely no sign of Luthor's name anywhere in the files." She took a breath to ask him another question… "And before you bother asking – no, Vanderworth's name isn't anywhere to be found either."

_Crap._ She had been so sure earlier that they'd hit on some shady scheme of Luthor's… She knew she was grasping at straws, but she tried another tactic. "Well, who _is_ listed on the charter, then?"

He got a far off look in his eyes as he read. "Philip Mitchener… Chuck Eldridge… Ellen Pharis… Shirley Corcoran…" He turned back to her again. "Those are the main names there. I also see a list of the board of directors, do you want that as well?"

Something wasn't making sense here. "Hang on… Why is the company called 'L & V' if none of the owners' first _or_ last names begin with those letters?"

"I can't tell, Lois. There's nothing there that explains the company's name… it doesn't seem to be the names, it's not in the mission statement…" He shrugged, effortlessly returning to his Clark persona. But then he froze, holding up a hand to keep her silent. He surreptitiously cut his eyes downward, to the alleyway between the buildings. She poked her head up over the ledge for a brief moment. A pair of security guards came around the corner, talking. One of them stopped to lean against the brick wall. Her eyes widened in shocked recognition. By his paunch and shock of grizzled hair, she knew immediately that this was the guy she had felled in her hasty exit from the building yesterday.

He lit a cigarette, and puffed lazily on it. The two began to shoot the breeze, the younger of the men looking impressed at the story the older one was telling. Beside her, Clark hastily stifled a chuckle.

"What?" she whispered as low as possible, ducking back below the ledge.

"Just how many pairs of heels _have_ you lost in the line of duty?" he asked her quietly, unable to resist a small smile.

She punched him lightly on the shoulder, but grinned herself. Of course, _he_ could hear their conversation as easily as breathing. Her smile faded… no matter that she was asking him to use his abilities during their investigation, it was still a reminder that he had been keeping them from her for so long. "Are they saying anything important?"

"No… but by the sound of it, the older guard's story may go on for some time."

The implications of his statement hit her suddenly. "How are we going to get down then?" The fire escape, the way they had accessed the roof, was in full view of the two men. Lois looked at her watch. She and Clark had taken the long way here, through snarling traffic, Lois refusing to travel any other way. It was now nearly noon, and her planned lunch with Richard only minutes away…

Mariah Carey's soulful voice rang out from the cell phone in her purse. Richard must be calling to see if she was coming. Lois and Clark looked at each other in panic.

"Hey!" a voice shouted from down below. "Is someone up there?"

Clark gave her a soul-searching look. There was only one way to get off this roof without being caught. She squeezed her eyes shut, and nodded abruptly. Without warning, she felt strong arms lift her, and a rush of wind through her hair, all without opening her eyes. She somehow knew that seeing him as they flew together would be a terrible reminder of everything that had gone before.

A minute later, and he was gently setting her down. She shrugged out of his arms roughly, and then opened her eyes. They were on another rooftop, some distance away from the harbor. He stood there, wind billowing his red cape, eyes sad. Amazing. He must have changed clothing in an instant, as quickly as he had sped them away… she glanced down to see a neat bundle of clothing beside his red boots.

And finally, that simple sight was the final straw. "Superman," she said curtly. Her fists clenched in suppressed anger, and she spun away from him.

"Lois." He placed a warm hand on her upper arm, but she shook it off forcefully.

She walked a few steps to the edge of the roof, and focused on the panorama of tall buildings before her. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I…" his voice faltered, an odd sound coming from the superhero side of him, "I wanted to, so many times…"

She whirled on him and spoke in a steely tone. "And why didn't you? The mother of your _child_? Afraid I couldn't _handle_ it?" She asked the last question almost mockingly, daring him to admit what he had done.

If he caught the inflection, he ignored it. "I know it sounds clichéd, but I wanted to _protect_ you. This—"

She couldn't let that go by. "_Protect_ me? What am I? A hothouse flower? One exposure to the harsh realities of life and I would wilt away?" She stalked up close to him. "This is _Lois Lane_ you're talking about here! Superman _and_ Clark Kent should both know better!"

"I was afraid you'd get hurt, Lois," he pleaded. "Not just physically… emotionally as well. I have a responsibility to the world that will always come first, and no matter how we tried to make it work… I knew it never would."

"And you didn't think I would be hurt when you left?" Her voice trembled, pain mixing with the anger, and she stepped closer to his charismatic presence with each sentence. "Oh, I know we've been over this, and I know that you had no idea that I was pregnant with Jason… hell, I didn't either until you'd been gone a few months." A thought suddenly intruded into her tirade. Now inches from his face, she looked up into his eyes with puzzled hazel ones. "But why… if you knew it would never work… why, after returning to Earth, did you come right back to me?"

His eyes filled with sadness and longing. "Because I couldn't stay away… because even if I couldn't have you… I needed to have you in my life."

A bubble of unresolved sadness and desire rose from inside her chest, and settled in her throat, making it difficult to talk. She wanted to shout accusations at him, tell him that she knew what he had taken away from her, from _them_… and at the same time she wanted to cry for those lost years.

She turned away again, trying to master her emotions, and felt his hand again on her shoulder. "No!" she bit out, twisting from his grip. "Can't I be upset without you trying to _fix_ it?"

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to…"

"Wanted to _what_? Take the pain away? Wipe the slate clean?" The words were out of her mouth before she could take them back. She shifted slowly to look at his reaction, and saw him standing rigidly, face frozen in shock. "Clark… I…"

He opened his mouth, an expression of guilt rushing to his features. He looked as if he were about to respond… and then he stiffened again. "Oh, no…"

"Clark, what?"

He didn't seem to hear her at all, acting as if he were listening to a sound many thousands of miles away. "They need me, so many people…"

She did not hesitate. "Go. We can finish this later. We _will_ finish this later."

He shot her a grateful look, and nodded. Without a sound, he rose gracefully into the air, and then rocketed away with a rush of wind.

_And then a hero comes along…_ She snatched her purse up from the ground where she had laid it. _I've got to change that ringtone,_ she thought, irritated, and flipped open the phone. "Richard?"

"_Honey, I'm here at the café. Are you going to be able to make it? I called earlier, but there was no answer…"_

She stared into the sky, no longer able to see even a speck in the distance. "Yes, I'm coming," she said distractedly. "Give me ten or fifteen minutes. We were right in the middle of something."

"_Oh, well, don't worry… if you're still busy…"_

"No, it's fine now. Clark went off on an… errand. We're going to meet up again later. I'll be there as soon as I can." As she closed the phone and headed for the roof access door, Superman's words rang in her mind:_ 'I needed to have you in my life.'_

"I do, too," she whispered, and turned the knob.


	13. Chapter 13: Secrets

Déjà Vu

Chapter 13: Secrets

_Reports are now coming in of another devastating round of tsunamis in South-East Asia. Casualties are estimated in the hundreds; however, the total would have been much higher if not for the arrival of Superman. Witnesses are reporting that the superhero has single-handedly saved hundreds, maybe thousands of lives by holding back the waves with his powerful breath, allowing people to flee ahead of the floodwaters…_ The anchorwoman spoke these words breathlessly from the television monitor anchored in the corner.

"He keeps busy, doesn't he?" Richard commented, taking a sip of soda.

_Well, at least I know his excuse for cutting off our conversation was valid…_ Lois mused, and then answered aloud, "Yes. I don't know how he does it." She tried to turn her eyes back to her fiancé. When she did, she found him regarding her with a steady, penetrating gaze. She quickly turned her attention to her salad, and speared a bit of lettuce.

"He certainly seems to have made a full recovery, even though he's only been out of the hospital a couple of days." She nodded noncommittally in agreement, keeping her eyes downward as she chewed. But he wasn't done. "Tell me. When you saw him last, did he look well?"

Her head snapped up. His eyes still held the same penetrating gaze, but a tinge of hurt seemed reflected there. "I haven't…" she began to deny, but then let it drop. She had never liked lying to Richard – she hated it, actually – and now was as good a time as any to make good on her promise to herself that she would tell him everything. She set down her fork before continuing, "…he seemed fine the last time I saw him."

His lips tightened painfully. She had admitted it, and even though that was probably what he was trying to get her to say, it didn't lessen the blow. "And when was that, exactly?" he pressed, his reporter's training coming through.

She considered her answer. As much as she was still angry with Clark for lying to her for years, she deeply felt the weight of his secret. _Is this what it's like? To keep an important truth from someone you love, because you fear they won't be able to handle it?_ She finally settled on a half-truth, despising its necessity. "Earlier today. Clark and I got into a spot of trouble, and Superman got us out of it."

Luckily he didn't delve deeper into her story. "And you didn't think this was important enough to tell me earlier?"

_Lord knows he has every right to be mad…_ But for some reason, he seemed less angry than disappointed. In a way, that was worse for her. "It was important, Richard… but it wasn't the first time I'd seen him since he got out of the hospital." _I've spent more time around him than I've spent around you these last few days…_

"Not the first time." He took a deep breath. Then he asked quietly, a note of pleading in his voice, "Please be honest with me, Lois. Is there something going on between you?"

What a complicated question! She wanted to be as honest as possible, though. He had always been good to her. He had been everything Clark _hadn't_ been while the Kryptonian had been gallivanting through the stars. And so, she started with an answer that was as close to the truth as she could get. "No… and yes. No, we aren't involved. I would _never_ cheat on you, Richard. You are too important to me." She paused, unsure that she was ready to come out with the rest of it just yet.

But he was just as aware as she was that the second half of the question had not been answered. "But?"

"But…" she swallowed, and looked at her hands, words choking in her throat. "But there is something between us. Or I should say… some_one_."

"Jason." The name fell heavily from his mouth.

A little shocked, she nodded and looked back up into his eyes. He had _known _– for how long? How did he figure it out?

She never got the chance to ask. Richard's right hand tightened around his napkin. He kept his voice level as he accused, "And you've let me believe, all this time, that he was my son?"

"I believed it myself!" she blurted, overly loud. Conversations all around them quieted for a moment, and they both studied their meals until the buzz around them returned to normal. In a quieter, but no less urgent voice, she said, "Richard, you have to believe me. I had no idea until after Superman came back that it could even be possible!"

He laughed mirthlessly. "Oh, come on. I know my uncle says you can't write worth a damn about sex, but you and I both know you're no stranger to it. If you and Superman had a relationship, and then you turned up pregnant a few months later, even _you_, no, _especially_ you should have known it was a possibility." He shook his head disbelievingly. "I _knew_ there was more behind your hurt and anger about Superman's disappearance than you were letting on…"

She wanted to take him by the shoulders and shake him. _No, Richard! I didn't know! He took it away from me! If the bastard had only stayed around, you never would have been more than a passing blip on my radar!_ Tears were coming to her eyes again. She blinked them away harshly, trying to find the right words to say. "Richard… I…"

He stood suddenly, tossing a few bills on the table. "I _love_ you, Lois. But if you didn't care about me enough to tell me something like this… had to wait until even _I_ could have figured it out for myself… then obviously you aren't ready to commit to us, yet."

She shook her head violently, unable to talk. She reached a pleading hand toward him. He looked down at the sparkling engagement ring on her hand, and asked, words cutting deeply, "Tell me. Was this why you would never set a date? Was I just a placeholder until the real groom came back?"

But he didn't let her respond. He spun on his heel and left the café, not looking back.

She slowly dropped her hand to her side, silent tears running down her face. "But I _didn't_ know. I never even suspected until I saw his face again…" she whispered. What could she say to make him believe her though? _'Superman erased my memory. I didn't remember anything until I kissed him again…' _ Oh, _that_ would go over well. She was damned every which way she turned. Unable to tell the man she had loved for five years the truth without harming the one she had loved before him.

She finally admitted to herself that she _did_ feel something for Clark now, something other than searing pain, betrayal and anger over what he had done to her. What was she going to do? "Clark…" she whispered. "I can't take it anymore. I know the world needs you… but what about me?" She covered her face with her hands and sobbed quietly, not caring who saw.

A few minutes later, she felt a presence beside her. Assuming it was the waitress depositing the check, she grabbed her napkin and dabbed at her eyes. She reached below her seat for her purse, saying, "Just a minute, let me get my card…" and then saw a pair of brown slacks beside her. She followed them up with her eyes, and stopped, astonished. "Clark?"

He was there, in the flesh, not thousands of miles away saving people. Why? He smiled kindly, sadly, and took the chair that Richard had vacated so suddenly.

"So he knows." With one resigned sentence, Clark encapsulated the whole horrible fight she and Richard had just had.

She sniffled, shutting her eyes to wipe at them again. There was no need to wonder how he knew. He had told her not long ago that he could hear everything. She was not surprised to learn he had stayed tuned into her, even while working to rescue victims a half a world away. "Yes. And I couldn't explain to him why I never told him."

"Lois, it's not your fault…"

"Then whose fault _is_ it?" She couldn't keep it in any longer. "Clark. I know you did something to me."

His eyes widened, but she was sure her earlier outburst about wiping the slate clean had warned him already. "I did. And I've never been sorrier about anything in my entire life."

She began to say, _'Why did you do it?'_ But then it was her turn to stand suddenly. They were going to talk about this. No interruptions, no emergencies. "And you're going to tell me why. But not here. I want you to take me there. Where it all happened." His blue eyes managed to widen even further.

She came around to take his hand in hers, the first time she had voluntarily touched him since the fateful kiss. "Take me to the Fortress."


	14. Chapter 14: Answers

Déjà Vu

Chapter 14: Answers

The white crystalline surface of the Arctic snow passed quickly beneath them as they flew together, the wind whipping through Lois' long hair. With her memories back, she hardly felt any hint of _déjà vu_ this time. Their previous flight here was now forever seared into her memory.

In fact, every one of their romantic flights together had been incredibly special. Nevermind that she had been angry with him the last few times – there was something about being held in his warm arms that defied logic. She couldn't help but feel a sense of awe.

She turned to look at Superman askance, remembering their first flight together. _'Can you read my mind?' _she had thought at him, filled with wonder at a man so powerful yet gentle in demeanor. She smiled ruefully. It was a good thing that mind-reading was a power he didn't possess! Some of her thoughts lately would have pierced his heart like laser beams from her eyes.

She could now see the Fortress of Solitude looming in the distance. Although his face was as impassive as it usually was when he was in uniform, she wondered what turmoil might be lurking in that Kryptonian heart.

They entered through an opening created by the juxtaposition of two massive crystals. He set her gently down, and moved a step or two back to give her space.

"It's so dark," she commented. She chafed her upper arms for warmth. "And _colder_ than I remember." The place had been so bright and warm before, even though it had grown impossibly out of the frozen tundra around it.

"Luthor," he answered her gravely. "In his greed, he took _all_ of the crystals. I have no way to control the temperature or light anymore."

She opened her mouth in a silent _'ah,'_ and hugged her jacket more tightly around herself. "Maybe we should…"

"If you'll let me…" he interrupted. He turned his gaze on her feet and as his eyes traveled slowly upward, a sensation like a warm hand passing over her body crept through her. A ripple of unexpected arousal rose up inside her at his virtual touch. When he had finished, she felt perfectly comfortable – temperature-wise, anyway. "I can't do much about the light, but…"

"No, there's enough sunlight coming in. We'll be fine." She let out a short nervous laugh. "We can't stay all day anyway. Perry'll have our hides if we don't check in before the end of the day."

She had given their editor-in-chief a quick call before they headed north, since there was certainly no cell phone reception in the middle of this frozen nowhere. They were both going to have to figure out some interesting tale to explain why they'd been on assignment all day with nothing to show for it.

And as for Richard, well, he wouldn't be expecting to see her again until this evening, if at all. It was his night to pick up Jason, though… and he was too responsible to leave the little boy alone at the house… She pushed thoughts of their inevitable awkward evening to the back of her mind. She would deal with it later.

But now…? Now she had another awkward conversation to attend to. She moved to take a seat at the table they had long ago used to share a romantic dinner. She patted the seat back of the chair to her left. As he came around the table, he spread back his cape to take a seat. She held up a hand suddenly. "Wait."

He paused. "Yes, Lois?"

She felt a little embarrassed as she asked. "Did you bring along your… 'Clark clothes'?"

"No… but I have a spare set here somewhere. Do you want me to change?"

"Please," she answered, relieved. She didn't know why, but she thought it might be easier to have this talk while he was dressed in normal clothing. After all, she'd practically lost it on the rooftop earlier, and she didn't want to chance a repeat of that drama. This was going to be hard enough.

He was only gone a minute or two, but during that time, her eyes roamed the room, recollecting the day they'd spent here. The crystal console, empty now, and the large holographic projectors were as imposing as ever. She could still remember his mother's voice, urging him to reconsider the step he was about to take. _If he had only listened to her!_ she thought fervently. But she realized that she was lying to herself. If he hadn't tried to become mortal, if they hadn't… been together… there would be no Jason. No pair of brilliant blue eyes, no unfettered smile, so very like his father's.

Her eyes slid further around and she caught a glimpse of silver. She turned her head away quickly, but then forced herself to think about it. _Come on, Lane. You are here for the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it is. Face up to what happened, or you'll never be free of the pain!_ A jumble of memories assaulted her senses as she focused on the bed. She could bring none of it into sharp focus, only a touch here, and a look there. What she remembered clearly was how it felt. Like heaven and earth, or really, Krypton and Earth, had shifted on their axes to allow their union. And through all of it, the overwhelming feeling that _this was meant to be._

A touch on her arm brought her back. She looked up into his eyes – he had registered where her gaze had been resting. Such a strange mix of emotions on his face! Love, regret, passion, sadness, worry… and somehow, when he was in regular clothing, they showed much more strongly.

She was surprised to see him in a t-shirt and jeans, overlaid with a button-down flannel shirt. He looked so different in the casual attire, almost like another person entirely. He had a second flannel shirt in his hands, and he silently handed it to her. She took it gratefully, and drew it across her arms. She was still feeling quite comfortable from the 'super-heating,' but it couldn't hurt.

But there was one thing not quite right… she reached out and plucked the glasses he must have put on for her benefit from his face.

He raised an eyebrow. She shrugged. "So," she began.

"So."

"Here we are," she encouraged.

"Yes."

It didn't seem as if either one of them were really in the mood to go first. But enough was enough. "Look, Clark. You've probably figured out from my comments, and suggestion to come here, that I remember everything now."

He nodded, eyes down. "The kiss?"

She reached a hand out to cover his. She was mildly surprised that she wasn't more angry, but somehow, in this place where they had shared so much… "Why, Clark? I _loved_ you…"

He looked back up. "I… loved you, too. But after all that mess with General Zod – seeing you so broken-hearted – I knew that I had done the wrong thing in giving up my powers. My father sent me here to help people, not to…"

A flash of anger rose up again. "To what? Be happy? Surely your father didn't mean for you to stay alone and unloved your entire life?"

"Maybe he did!" he argued. He held her hands tighter, and leaned in to her, willing her to see. "I wasn't supposed to 'interfere with the course of human history'!"

_Too late for that…_ she thought wickedly. But instead, she said, "But it happened, and there's no going back. Would it have been so _terrible_ to try to work things out?"

He removed his hands from hers and stood, back to her. In a voice so low she strained to hear. "How I _wanted_ that, Lois. But… would you have wanted me?"

She could hardly speak; she was in such shock at his words. _Not _want_ him? It was the only thing I ever really…_ "Clark… of _course_ I would have. Why would you ever think anything else?"

Still not turning to face her, he answered. "Would you want an empty bed most nights? A secret to carry that was so dangerous the merest slip could cause your death?" He finally turned to face her, running his hands through his hair in agitation. "All I could be is the man who was more married to the world than to his wife. Did you really want _that?_"

"Yes. I did." When he looked disbelieving, she added, "Those tears I cried that day were real, but they weren't forever. I was pretty selfish to think I could have you to myself. I know better now. But you know what?"

"What?" he asked, looking as if he were dreading the answer.

And she hated to throw it at him this way. But he couldn't ignore it. "As much as I wanted you then, someone else needs you more now."

"Jason." He banged his fist into the crystal pillar beside him, sending fragments in all directions. "Another thing I messed up. All my years of soul-searching, trying to find my family roots, and I ended up leaving behind the only real family I have."

Seeing him standing there, looking so alone, so fragile, she had to soothe him somehow. "You didn't know. There's still time to make it right. Jason needs his father."

"There's always Richard."

"Richard loves him deeply, and even though he now knows Jason isn't his, that won't change in the slightest." She stood and walked over to him. "But. He still needs you. And _you_ need him, too. You should be in his life. And I _don't_ mean watching him while he sleeps, either."

He searched her eyes, making sure she meant what she said. And there, in the middle of his castle of crystal, a seed she thought long dormant began to send tendrils around her heart.

He smiled, like the sun coming out from behind the clouds, and it seemed a weight lifted from his shoulders. "We'd better get back. What should we tell Perry?"

"Well, if we hurry, we might be able to salvage something from the notes I took yesterday." She smirked. "If not, well, I've got years more experience spinning an excuse with him than you have."

He laughed. It was a nice sound, she was happy to remember. "I'll go change. Be right back."

In the interim, she wandered back over to the console. Sure enough, as he had said, the slots that should contain crystals were empty. She traced their outlines lightly with a finger.

"Are you ready to go back?" Superman stood beside her, back in his iconic red and blues.

"Yes. Do you want this shirt back?" She held up a flannel-covered arm.

"No, keep it," he suggested. "You'd have more use for it than me, anyway."

He took her hand from the console, lightly touching it himself, and placed it around his neck. His unexpected, almost intimate contact jarred her senses briefly. "Hold tight."

They rose smoothly into the air, slipping through the opening. But before they increased speed, she looked back. For the barest instant, just as they were leaving, had the console been… glowing?


	15. Chapter 15: Torn

Déjà Vu

Chapter 15: Torn

Walking into the newsroom in the middle of the afternoon, Lois expected to be bombarded with questions about where they'd been, what they'd discovered. After all, she was now a partner in the greatest secret in the history of the _Planet_. She felt a huge sense of irony about the fact that, _she_, Lois Lane, knew the identity of _Superman_, and was completely unable to capitalize on it. The precious life they had created five years ago was effectively the final word on that matter, even if she hadn't felt strongly that Clark was entitled his privacy. The world he protected owed him that.

But as they strolled over to her desk, she was startled to realize that they weren't the center of attention. Everyone went about their business, barely looking up from their computer screens to register their presence. She stopped, set her purse down, and looked around dumbfounded.

Clark's soft voice was sonorous in her ear. "It's surprising, isn't it? We go through life certain that our secrets are exposed for the world to see." He shifted to face her, an understanding smile on his face. "But everyone else is too involved in their own problems really to see what's right in front of their faces." He pushed his glasses up his nose, a twinkle in his eye.

Lois tilted her head and gave him a grimace. No need to repeat _that_ comment twice to get his meaning. But she couldn't resist a jab. "After all, why would Superman have anything to hide? He _never_ lies."

That brought a blush to his face. She pretended not to notice as she jiggled the mouse to take her computer out of sleep mode and then typed in her password at the prompt. As she sat down in her chair, Clark harrumphed once.

"What?"

"Changed your password, huh?"

"How did you…?" She shook her head, not sure whether to be amused or irritated. "Show off." She _had_ changed it, right after the Luthor ordeal, from _superman_ to _imalwaysaround_. She made a mental note to change it again when he was busy at his 'other job.'

Lois wasn't exactly sure how to feel about the intimate knowledge of her life Clark could so easily obtain. He had arrived so suddenly at the café earlier, ready to console her after her blow up with Richard. Then, she had needed the comfort. But now? A prickle of worry started to needle her – he could hear everything she said, knew her password, probably knew her schedule down to the minute…

He had not yet earned the right to pry into her affairs like this! Not to mention the fact that erasing her memory had been a profound violation of her trust. She had been planning to rake him over the coals for his presumption… but being with him in the Fortress had affected her so strangely… They were on the road to repairing their relationship, but there were plenty more issues to deal with, starting with this one.

He had brought a briefcase over to her desk and was searching through the papers inside. "Clark," she said seriously.

"Yes, Lois?" he inquired, turning toward her at once.

"If you don't _mind_," she began, imbuing that last word with as much innuendo as she could, "I'd appreciate it if you would keep those ever-observant ears and eyes to yourself." Clark flushed, looking mortified. But before he could apologize, she went on. "I appreciate how much you worry about me, but please." She looked directly into his eyes, willing him to understand. "This is _my_ life – I need to have control of it. No matter _how_ good your intentions are." She was sure he caught the double meaning.

He nodded, pain briefly flashing across his face. "I'll try to control it, Lois. I don't think I do it deliberately… I'm just… tuned into you… and Jason… somehow. If it really bothers you, I will stop."

Put that way, she couldn't help but be touched. Lois smiled briefly into his clouded blue eyes to take the sting out of her words, and changed the subject. "Could you take a look at the photos I took yesterday? Maybe you'll see something I missed." She didn't want him to think his talents were completely unappreciated.

"Of course." She brought up the photos, and he peered at them, glasses sliding down his nose. "It's quite difficult to make out the text here… the photos are too grainy…"

"Well, the light wasn't that great… Can't you, I don't know, _zoom in_ or something?"

He chuckled. "Even if I did, I would only see larger blurry pixels."

"Oh." She bit her lip as she thought. "Maybe Jimmy has an idea about how to enhance the image somehow…" She looked toward Jimmy's desk and saw him packing his camera bag.

"Jimmy!" she called.

The young photographer hardly glanced up. "What, Ms. Lane? I'm about to head out of the office for a while."

"We were hoping for your, uh, expertise in enhancing some photos," Clark explained.

He gave Clark a regretful look. "Sorry, Clark. Chief wants me to follow up on a tip I got on a Superman sighting. Maybe later?"

"Oh, sure. Good luck, Jimmy," Clark encouraged him.

Lois looked down, trying not to smirk. _Yeah, good luck with that,_ Lois thought, knowing he'd have none at all. But what could either of them say?

He slung the bag over his shoulder and headed for the elevators. She turned her attention back to her notes, wondering what they would do now… Perhaps research the names Clark had mentioned in his X-ray search of the files at L & V…

"Mommy!" Lois looked up suddenly at the sound of Jason's voice. The five year old nearly galloped to her desk to give her a hello hug. Behind him, Richard walked toward them at a considerably slower pace. Their eyes met briefly, and she broke the contact quickly before she could read the emotion there.

"Hi, sweetheart," she said warmly to her son, holding him close a moment longer than normal. "Have a good day at school?"

"Pretty good," he said happily. She was struck again by his naturally cheery disposition – and thought suddenly how similar it was to his father's. He pulled away from her and looked up at Clark with sparkling eyes. "Hi, Mister Clark."

"Hi, Jason," he responded warmly, an almost identical sparkle in his deep blue eyes. Lois marveled at their natural connection… she had written it off before as her son's easy way with strangers. "You look like you're feeling better today."

"Yeah," Jason said shyly, embarrassed but clearly pleased that Clark had noticed. "Mommy said all I needed was a good night's sleep."

"She's a smart one, your mommy." Clark winked.

Lois watched this conversation, trying not to let the wonder show on her face, especially since there was another person watching…

"I wasn't sure if you'd be back here today, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to check," Richard said in a normal voice as he drew alongside them. She was glad for Jason's sake that he was trying to keep up appearances. "Good afternoon, Clark. You're looking better yourself."

"Yes, I feel much better… don't know what came over me yesterday…"

Jason suddenly looked concerned, eyebrows drawing down. "You were feeling sick, too, Mister Clark?"

Clark paused for a barely discernible moment before responding. "Well, I had a bit of a problem in the river… your parents didn't tell you about it?"

Lois tried to explain. "Honey, you were feeling so bad, I didn't want you to worry about it. Besides, he's just fine now, see?"

Jason's eyebrows remained in place, and he added a tilt to his head. "Yes, but…" He shook it off, the way only a child could, and continued. "I'm glad you're better." Why did it seem as if there was more he wanted to say?

But she was glad to drop the subject. They had both sickened from the presence of kryptonite, and the less said about _that_, the better.

"Thanks." Clark patted Jason's shoulder affectionately.

She felt Richard's hand on her shoulder, and she turned to him. The pain of their earlier argument was creeping back into his face as he said, "Lois, can we talk for a moment?"

"Now?" _Here, with Clark not three feet away?_ was the thought she didn't voice.

He nodded slightly, and turned to Clark. "Clark, do you mind if I steal your partner away for a few moments? Jason, will you be okay?"

Father and son nodded in unison. "Sure," they said, and she had to stifle her reaction.

As obvious as their similarities now seemed to her, Richard saw only what he expected, and guided her gently by the arm into his office. He gestured for Lois to sit, which she did, nervously, and pulled another chair beside hers. Taking a deep breath, he began, "I'm sorry."

Those were the only words she hadn't been expecting. "What? No, _I'm_ the one who should be sorry, Richard."

With complete sincerity, he continued. "I shouldn't have stormed out on you like that. I was upset, and not thinking clearly. You confirmed everything I feared in just a few words, and I couldn't handle it." Richard reached a hand out to take her palm in his own. "I'm still upset, but I don't love you any less, Lois. And I don't love Jason any less, either."

Tears sprang to her eyes. She _knew _he would react this way, but knowing it and hearing it said were two different things. "I should have told you when I first suspected; I was just afraid of how you would take it."

Richard squeezed her hands, but then released them gently. "But Lois," he said, voice growing firmer, "I need to know something."

She sniffled, and rubbed at her eyes. "What?"

"I asked you point-blank before if you loved him… Why did you lie to me?" He straightened up, clearly bracing himself for the worst.

Lois found herself totally unable to reply. To be truthful, she hadn't really felt she _had _been lying when she had told Richard that she hadn't loved Superman. Sure, she had a crush on the superhero before meeting Richard, but all of the feelings of love had been wiped away with her memories. Again, she felt anger that she was in this situation, but she also felt helpless to explain it to Richard – too many questions would arise.

And knowing Clark was right outside the office, his super-ears probably unintentionally focused on her erratic heartbeat, her throat completely closed up.

Richard's face hardened. He stood, and walked to the window. He spoke his next words while gazing out over the city. "All afternoon, I tried to come up with _some_ explanation for it. What would be the harm of telling me? It's not like I hadn't had a few love affairs myself before meeting _you_, Lois. There could only be one reason." He paused, and swallowed before continuing. "You are _still_ in love with him, even if you won't admit it to yourself."

_No_… she tried to blurt out, shaking her head vehemently instead. But the word wouldn't come out. Was it because the object of her supposed affection was only a few yards away? Or a deeper reason? Richard stubbornly gazed out the window, keeping his back to her, and her gesture of negation was completely lost on him.

"Richard…" she finally managed.

"Lois." He walked back over to her frozen form. Touching her cheek fondly, he said, "I love you, more than anything. But say the word now, and I'll walk out of your life."

She had never felt more torn in her life. She loved this man standing before her… loved him dearly. But did she love Richard the way a wife should? Did he deserve to be treated this way? And she wasn't finished working through everything with Clark – not her anger, not her lack of trust, and certainly not her strange rediscovery of these old, powerful feelings for him…

Richard took her silence as dissent. "Then I'm going to fight for you, Lois. With all the strength I have… until you tell me to stop. Not even _Superman_ can stand against that." He emphasized the word with such bitterness that she nearly flinched. She could practically feel Clark do the same, even without looking at him. "I'll see you at home."

She could only nod, more tears silently running down her face. She watched her fiancé walk toward the son-of-his-heart, and call him to leave. The two looked up at the sound of Richard's voice. And though Clark had a mournful look in his eyes, he smiled and bid Jason goodbye. Jason waved merrily, and ran to grab his father's outstretched hand.

Lois finally found the strength to move after the elevator doors closed on them. She walked slowly over to her desk, yanking a tissue from a co-worker's desk. Clark moved a drawing to the side that Jason must have made with him – of Superman, of course – and turned that mournful gaze on her. No need to ask if he had heard their conversation – it was all there in his eyes.

She shook her head. Not now. "Let's get back to work," she said tersely, dabbing at her eyes.

"Um, okay." He cleared his throat. "Actually, I gave that image enhancement program a test run while I was entertaining Jason… and I found something you might find interesting."

"Oh?"

"You know that list of names I found – the owners of the company? One of these documents you quickly snapped a photo of was a note scribbled on personal stationery. Does the name Philip Mitchener ring any bells?"

In her haste to prove that the company was connected to Luthor, she had completely overlooked that… "Actually, _yes_. Isn't he the…" She bent down to squint at the screen where Clark had zoomed in on the job title by the man's name.

"Deputy mayor," he finished for her.


	16. Chapter 16: United

Déjà Vu

Chapter 16: United

"_The Deputy Mayor is very busy at the moment. The office is in overdrive organizing the city clean-up efforts… I can try to get you an appointment for next week…" _

Next week? Oh, no, that wouldn't do _at all_. "I'm sure he'll want to see us," Lois assured the woman in her least snarky tone. "_The Daily Planet_ would like to feature him in an article about the reconstruction efforts." She arched an eyebrow at Clark, telephone receiver trapped between her chin and shoulder. Her excuse to the secretarywas an almost-truth worthy of the best ones _he'd_ used over the years.

Clark merely looked back at her, lips pressed together in sardonic amusement. He gave a short nod.

The secretary replied, _"Just a moment. Let me check with Mr. Mitchener himself…"_

Lois continued scribbling furiously on her notepad: _Michner inv. in clean up. Story angel?_ She didn't know why she was doing this, other than to help her train of thought. Clark could probably recite every detail of their investigation so far with perfect recall…

"_Ms. Lane?"_

"Yes?"

"_The Deputy Mayor can see you at ten a.m. Will that be all right?"_ The woman's voice had changed slightly. She seemed more interested in them, somehow, after speaking with her employer.

Lois rapidly agreed. "Ten o'clock will be fine, thank you." She hung up the phone and jotted the time next to Mitchener's name. "That was easier than advertised," she reflected.

"She did sound much more eager to please after speaking to her boss. I wonder why?" Clark added.

Shrugging, Lois began to type the deputy mayor's name into the search engine on her screen. "Who knows? Maybe he's a publicity hound. You know the type. A dozen articles a week wouldn't be enough for him."

"I certainly do," he responded, a touch of irony in his voice.

Lois froze, realizing how that probably sounded. "I didn't—" she started to apologize, but the look in his blue eyes told her it wasn't necessary. "Anyway, I'm going to see what I can find out about the guy online. Do you mind performing your 'magic' on the archives again?"

She had made her request of Clark so naturally, that she stopped short. _Have I already accepted his gifts so easily?_ Her practical nature made it difficult not to simply make use of every available resource. So why did she feel so guilty?

But he was already walking toward the elevators. "Sure," he said with a nod and wave, as if this sort of thing was an everyday matter for him. And maybe it was. He had to fit in twice as much work as a normal person in half the time to make up for his frequent absences. _And what he _does_ turn in is better than what most of the staff can do…_

What would he be capable of if he devoted himself to only one pursuit? He could probably be a billionaire, or a dictator of a nation, depending… _Thank God for all of us he cares so much…_ She suddenly felt sorry for her earlier fit of pique, thinking that he had been cheating with his abilities. Clark could do so much more, and simply chose not to.

She shook her head at her earlier arrogance and got back to work. Hmm. Mitchener wasn't an uncommon name in Metropolis. It seemed that the family had been in the city practically since its founding. They were old money, had their fingers in pies all over the business sector. Manufacturing, shipping, finance… ah. Real estate.

But because the family's business dealings were so diverse, there was really no clear focus. It looked like Philip Mitchener's L & V might only be one of his many shareholdings.

Strangely, though, in looking at Mitchener's history, it seemed as if these businesses were not connected to the family at all. After graduating with the finest ivy-league education money could buy, Philip Mitchener had invested his capital in various ventures. Technology companies, land acquisitions, and of course, construction and real estate. He could have easily taken a job running one of the family businesses, but he had preferred to strike out on his own.

Somewhere along the line he must have developed political aspirations. And so, with his family connections, money and drive to succeed, he had worked his way up to deputy mayor.

She tapped a pencil against her mouth. So, what did we have here? A man in his late thirties, who came from old money but preferred to succeed on his own, and successful in just about every arena he tried? Impressive. But impressive would only get him a feature on the front page of the business section. It wasn't worthy of a Lois Lane exclusive.

She couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else here… but her mind wasn't revealing the answers right now. She rubbed her eyes tiredly. What a day! Lois felt as if she had been through the ringer.

In some ways, it would have been nice if there _had_ been some sort of Luthor connection… it would have been comfortingly familiar in a day full of gut-wrenching revelations.

_You must have had an awful day if you are pining for the bad-old-days, Lane._ She sighed, and rested her hands on her chin.

Then Lois straightened up and her eyes flew open wide. _Luthor! I've never told Clark!_ She looked at the clock. It was close enough to the end of the workday that she could take off, and early enough that she had time for a conversation with him before she would be missed at home.

As she stood to pack up her desk, Clark appeared in front of her, papers in hand, a worried look on his face. "Is something wrong, Lois?"

She bit her lip. They couldn't talk here… "Can I give you a ride home?"

- - - - - - - -

Their footsteps echoed in the parking garage, as Lois and Clark made their way to her car. "Thanks for coming with me. I know you don't actually _need_ a ride…"

He didn't take the bait. "Even if I _did_, my apartment is only a few blocks away. I usually just… walk to work."

"Well, I need to ask you a question..." Lois unlocked and opened the driver's side door. He opened his door, and they both silently slid in, Clark somehow knowing that she needed privacy to finish her statement. The doors shut with finality, and she started the car. Lois took a deep breath. "Have you been keeping tabs on Luthor?"

This was probably not the question he had been expecting, but he recovered quickly. His face turned grave again at the mention of Luthor. "Before I came back to work, I searched for him. I am sure he was not still on the continent he created when I sent it into space, but where he traveled afterward…" He had completely changed in demeanor – his powerful Superman persona burning through his ill-fitting three-piece suit, despite the glasses. "I searched the ocean for him… and all I found was an abandoned helicopter on a tiny island in the Atlantic."

She started to pull out of her parking space. "And there was no sign of him?"

"None at all. The helicopter was out of fuel, but they obviously had not stayed there long. It was as if he disappeared."

The earlier fear she had felt about Luthor suddenly doubled. "Disappeared?" she asked anxiously.

He nodded. "I stretched my senses to their utmost, searching desperately for the sound of his voice, his heartbeat… all in vain. I dare not hope that Luthor is dead."

She gripped the steering wheel tightly as she turned on to the street. "He must be blocking you somehow, as difficult as that is to believe."

"Yes," Clark grimly agreed. His voice dropped further in pitch. "The man reveals more layers every time I come into contact with him. His depths of cunning…" He paused, and his eyes narrowed painfully. "Luthor's out there somewhere, crystals in hand…"

They shuddered in unison.

Hearing this, she felt an even more urgent need to tell Clark about what had happened on the yacht. "Clark. We have an even greater problem now. Not only is he in possession of the crystals…" She swallowed. "He knows about Jason."

"Yes, you were on the ship together, right?" he asked, completely missing the point. Then his sharp mind latched onto what she was implying. "Wait. You mean, he _knows_ about Jason? His relationship to me?"

She nodded.

"But how?_ I_ didn't even know until you told me in the hospital."

"And I only suspected… Haven't you wondered how I realized he was your son? Especially with my _memories_ gone?"

He regarded her seriously for a long moment before answering her question. "Honestly? Every moment since you first told me."

"Let me start from the beginning. You know about his health problems all these years. He was born prematurely, or at least I _thought_ he was," she added, shooting an annoyed glance his way, "and so I always thought he had a delicate constitution."

Clark remained silent as she told the story, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Well, as Luthor kept us captive on the yacht, explaining his horrid plan for the crystals, he suddenly noticed something about Jason… I don't know what, but Luthor's expression was terrifying." Her voice quivered slightly as she remembered that heart-stopping moment. "He asked me who Jason's father was and then waved a huge cylinder of kryptonite in our son's face."

Clark's hand gripped the armrest a little tighter than necessary.

"Jason trembled in my arms. He never said a word, never took his eyes off the kryptonite. Somehow, his lack of physical reaction must have satisfied Luthor, and he left us alone with one of his goons."

Lois turned another corner; they were almost to his apartment building. Clark was right – it would have been faster to walk. But this was the most convenient, and private place to talk to him.

"There was a grand piano in the room, and Jason decided to play it." She smiled. "He's just learned to play—"

"'Heart and Soul,'" Clark interrupted quietly, the first words he'd spoken in minutes.

She frowned, _how did he know?_ But she went on. "The henchman assigned to babysit us thought he'd scare me by sitting down to play the duet with him. I was scared all right, but I still had the presence of mind to send that fax with the coordinates to the _Planet_."

They were almost to the front entrance now, but they weren't finished. She pulled the car halfway down the block to one of the metered parking spaces, and shut off the engine. She didn't want the doorman to wonder about the woman having an earnest conversation with one of the tenants. She knew all too well how knowledgeable doormen could be about the goings on in their buildings.

"Anyway, there was another electromagnetic pulse after Luthor launched his crystals into the depths of the ocean. It shut down everything, including the fax, and that's why you never received the whole message. By that time, Luthor's man was onto me, and I was not able to escape, until…"

She took another deep breath. She could almost not believe what had happened next herself. "Until the grand piano slammed into him, crushing him beneath its weight."

_Crack._ In his surprise Clark had ripped the armrest out of its socket. He held it helplessly between his hands. "Jason… _threw_ it at him?" he asked, voice infused with astonishment.

"Or pushed. He was as shocked as you are right now." She turned to him and continued in a choked voice. "Two of the other men came from above deck and saw what had just happened. They locked us in the pantry after that, where you found us later. But I have no doubt they told Luthor about it."

Clark's lips set in a grim line. "No doubt."

"And that's not all. Jason was the one who spotted you from high above in the seaplane as you sank beneath the waves. I don't know _what_ else he can do, Clark," she finished, beginning to tremble again. "He's so little… to have seen so much…"

Clark placed his large, warm hand on hers. She almost jolted at the unexpected contact, but she stopped herself from pulling away.

Lois looked down at their clasped hands, unable to meet his gaze. "This is what I meant when I said that Jason needs you, Clark. He needs someone to show him how to control these developing powers, someone to talk to about them. And only his _father_ can do that."

She raised her head then, and the warmth radiating from his eyes was tangible. "I will help him, Lois," he said, voice full of gratitude. "And I promise, I will not rest until our son is safe from Luthor's machinations." He squeezed her hand tightly. "Thank you for telling me this. Thank you for letting me into his life."

"You're welcome." Following a deep, sudden impulse, Lois tugged on his wrist to bring him into a heartfelt hug. She sensed that he needed solace as much as she did. His strong arms wrapped around her body, a heady sensation that frightened as well as comforted her. As they clung to each other, she somehow felt closer to him than ever. They had such history together, both as work partners and lovers, as well as a son they both loved dearly. And now they were united in determination to protect their little boy, whatever the cost.

A tiny voice reminded her that she needed to get home. She pulled away from him. "Clark?"

"Yes?"

"I need to get home now, but… do you mind not visiting tonight? I want to talk to Jason about all of this, and after everything Richard learned today…"

He looked disappointed, but resigned. "I understand." He tried to replace the armrest, but she shook her head gently. Clark opened the car door, and stepped out. Leaning in, he bade her goodbye. "See you tomorrow."

"Yes, tomorrow. Bye, Clark."

The door closed after her, and she pulled away from the curb. She kept her eye on the rearview mirror, where he stood watching her go, until she finally turned the corner.


	17. Chapter 17: A Regular Person

Déjà Vu

Ch. 17: A Regular Person

The scrape of a fork. Slurping through a straw. Polite coughing. A request to pass the salad, please. These were some of the only sounds to break the silence at the table that night.

Jason looked from his mommy to his daddy in confusion. He obviously sensed something was wrong, but Lois couldn't really tell him what that was.

"Honey, would you like any more chicken?" she asked her son, trying to behave normally.

Jason shook his head, mouth still full of food. His puzzled expression stayed on his face.

Normally, their dinner atmosphere was light and jovial – Richard or Lois would ask Jason to tell them something about his day. Richard might make a joke or ask Lois' opinion on some world situation. Lois would answer animatedly, debating whatever point Richard brought up, Jason interjecting with a comment here or there.

But not tonight. You could cut the tension with a _steak_ knife, no pun intended. Neither one of the adults felt they could talk about the issue they'd discussed earlier – not in Jason's hearing. The funny thing was, although they were keeping silent with respect to Jason, the little boy noticed it, nonetheless.

Suddenly, her son drew a happy breath, as if he'd stumbled on a topic of conversation. "Mommy," he began excitedly. "Did you see Superman today?"

Lois nearly choked on the sip of water she'd been taking. Richard stopped chewing in mid-bite. A look passed between his parents. Richard held her eyes for a moment before dropping them to his food resignedly.

_Damn it, I'm not going to punish Jason for a situation out of his control._ "Yes, sweetie. I saw him today," she told him unapologetically.

"Cool," he responded, all thought of the tension in his household seemingly washed away by his pure wonderment. "Was he flying? Did he save someone?"

She stifled a chuckle. "Both, I'd say." She darted a glance at Richard, who was studiously avoiding looking at them, and continued, "It was _me_ he saved."

Jason's eyes went wide. "Really? What happened?"

"Well, Mommy and Mister Clark were investigating a story, and we got ourselves into a little trouble. Superman flew us away before anything could happen." Wow. Only the second time today she had to cover for Clark's identity and already she was an old pro.

Jason tilted his head in confusion, exactly duplicating his reaction to learning about Clark's illness at the house last night. "But…?"

"But what, honey?"

"But…" Even Richard had now turned his attention fully back on the conversation. "He flew you _and_ Mister Clark?" Jason asked, more puzzled than before.

Her heart fluttered a little as she tried to cover. "He's a strong man, Jason. He can easily carry two people." Not a lie, but it pained her to keep the truth hidden from Clark's son as she said it. "He stopped a jet plane with his bare hands, right?"

His brows furrowed. "I guess…" Jason looked as if he wanted to say more, but didn't.

She breathed a mental sigh of relief. Lois didn't want to read anything into that conversation, but… did her little boy suspect something about Superman? Her mind had been swirling with ways to approach the talk with him this evening. Was this it?

The table fell silent again, and she watched him finish the last of his meal. He had been surprisingly silent on the whole subject of throwing the piano. Was he holding it in, afraid to talk? Was it possible that he didn't even realize what had happened? It worried her that he hadn't mentioned it even once.

When he was a little younger, he had loved to tell and retell exciting events when they were settling him to sleep. Just after he had turned three years old, he had repeatedly asked to hear the story of his birthday party. Lois and Richard had taken him to an oceanside park, just the three of them. He didn't really have many neighborhood friends, what with his parents being so busy all the time, and it was just easier. They'd had sandwiches and a little bakery cake decorated like an airplane. And they'd watched people fly kites in the sea breeze, Jason laughing at the way they dipped, twisted and soared. He'd always liked things that flew…

He loved to hear about the kites and the cake, the seagulls that tried to grab their leftovers… she had told the story so many times as he drifted off to sleep. If he could talk so much about a simple afternoon in the park, but not a word about the terrible ordeal they had just been through…

Jason pushed his plate away from him. "I'm finished, Mommy. Can I go and play games in my room a little while before bedtime?"

"Sure. I'll be up soon." He nodded; he knew it was his mommy's turn to put him to bed.

Richard held out his arms to Jason. "Can I get a goodnight hug before you go?"

Jason smiled, and ran easily into his arms. Lois watched them embrace with a pang of guilt in her heart. They loved each other so much, and now everything was so complicated…

Richard kissed the top of his head, and then held Jason out from him. "I love you so much, you know that?"

Jason smiled broadly. "I know, Daddy. I love you, too."

"Go on upstairs, then, Sport." Richard gave him a little pat on the back to send him on his way. They both watched Jason hurry up the stairs, eager to get in a little game time before bed.

Before Richard had fully turned back to her, she was already picking up Jason's dishes from the table and taking them to the sink. Lois turned on the tap, and began to rinse the dishes one by one.

"Lois," Richard said, his voice muffled below the sound of running water.

"Um hmm?" There was a bit of food stuck on the plate. She grabbed the scrubber and started working at it.

"Thank you."

"For what?" She scoured a little harder, really putting her arm into it.

"For keeping Jason out of this whole mess…." He hesitated, and Lois, finally finished with the plate, picked up the glass. He lowered his voice. "What are you going to tell him?"

She didn't answer immediately. To tell the truth, she was not completely sure herself. She felt Richard come behind her and lay a gentle hand on her arm.

"Lois?"

She turned off the tap, set the dishes down on the counter, and turned to face him. "I don't _know_ what I'm going to tell him, actually. I just know I need to talk to him. You see… I'm afraid he might be wondering something himself."

Richard's hand dropped away from her in shock. "That…" His voice dropped even farther, to a whisper. "… Superman is his father?"

Lois shook her head. "Not exactly. He's been showing… _signs_… of his parentage."

Richard's worry was tangible in his eyes. "What kind of signs?"

"Strength… and enhanced vision." If it was possible for him to look even more shocked, he did. She rushed to explain. "It only happened a week ago, for the first time, and I was as shocked as you are. He pushed a grand piano into one of Luthor's goons to save my life, and I think he might have used some sort of 'super-vision' to see Superman under the water." She didn't want to go into much detail, especially after having this exact conversation with Clark only a few hours ago.

Richard staggered back a step, hand to his forehead. He sat down on a chair shakily. "Oh, my God." He looked up at her, apprehension etched on his face. "He must have been so scared!"

Lois sat beside him, concerned. "I think that's why it happened. The terror of the situation brought these abilities to the surface… I haven't even talked to Jason about it myself. In fact, I was about to go upstairs and do that very thing." Richard suddenly managed to look even more worried. She assured him, "Don't worry. I want to talk to him about what happened, and try to help him deal with it a little. Not what it means – that Superman is his father. He's only five years old… I don't think he's quite old enough to understand."

Richard let out a relieved breath. "I think you're right. He shouldn't have to carry that kind of thing yet. Not until the three of us figure out what to do, anyway."

_Or the four of us,_ she thought somewhat amused. _Me, Richard, Superman… and Clark. What is that? Not a triangle… a diamond, a rhombus, a trapezoid? _It was certainly more convoluted than a square.

"Well…" She stood, giving Richard's knee a light squeeze. "I think I'll go put him to bed now… and talk with him." She walked toward the stairs, but then stopped and told him reassuringly, "I'll let you know how it goes, okay?"

"Okay." He stood, and started to remove the rest of the dinner dishes from the table. But the slump of his shoulders told her that he was anything but okay with it. He was probably jealous, and knew that with these abilities popping up in Jason, Superman's presence in their lives was probably inevitable. Richard loved Jason too much – he would never want his son to hurt himself.

As she walked slowly up the stairs, she could hear Jason's voice, as he role-played some sort of game with his toys on the carpet. She knew he would stop playing as soon as she stepped into the room, so she paused, peering through the slight crack in the door.

"Take that, you villain!" Jason lifted up an action figure, and made an unrecognizable sound effect. She tilted her head a little to the side and was able to make out the unmistakable red-and-blue form of Spider-Man. "Gotcha! My web will hold you until the police come!"

Lois smiled.

He held the other action figure, some sort of cowboy by the looks of it, upside down. "Mmph! Mmph!" he mimicked, as if his mouth was covered over with webbing.

The superhero figure added, "That'll teach you to mess with Spider-Man! If you do it again, I'm going to get my friend Superman to teach you a lesson!"

She couldn't suppress a giggle. Jason turned his head toward the doorway. "Mommy? Is it time for bed now?"

Caught, Lois opened the door all the way and came to sit beside him on the rug. "Yes, in a few minutes we'll get you into your pajamas and into bed. Don't stop playing on my account."

"It's okay. Spider-Man stopped the bad guy." He placed the toy on the floor and then looked up at her, a strange expression on his face. "Mommy?"

"Yes, Jason?"

"You know how Spider-Man wears a mask? How underneath he really just looks like a regular person?"

Lois swallowed. She didn't like where this was going. "Uh huh?"

"Well, do you think Superman's like that? That when he's not in his costume, he just has a regular job like you or Daddy?"

Her heart stopped for just a moment. But she couldn't ask for a better opening to this conversation they needed to have. "I think he might. After all, he probably can't go around all day dressed like that."

"I didn't think so either." Thankfully, he seemed to stop there, holding his toys in his hand. What she wouldn't give to know what was going through his mind right now!

She swallowed. It was still going to be hard to breach this topic. "Jason… do you remember the ship? That man that wanted to hurt me?"

He didn't meet her eyes, turning the cowboy between his fingers. "Um hmm."

"What do you think happened… with the piano?" she asked quietly.

"I… I _pushed_ it." He finally turned his face toward hers, and she could see tears forming. "Did I do something wrong, Mommy? That man seemed so nice when he was playing the piano with me, but then he was going to _hit_ you…"

She gathered him into her arms as he began to sob. "No, _no, _baby. You did the right thing. He scared you, and you were trying to protect me," she soothed, rocking him gently back and forth the way she had when he was a toddler with a scraped knee.

They stayed this way for several minutes, until his tears slowed. Between sniffles, he asked her, "How did I _do_ it, Mommy? At school today, I tried to push one of the picnic tables, and it just stayed there."

"I think you were so afraid that the man would hurt me, that it made you extra strong…" _Like a super-powered adrenaline rush,_ she thought, but she searched for words a five year old would understand. "Sometimes, when people are in danger, they find that they have incredible strength, or can run faster than they ever could before."

"Has it ever happened to you? Or Daddy?"

"No, it hasn't…" she trailed off. She wanted to tell him that even though what she just explained was true, it didn't happen to everyone, and certainly not to the degree Jason had experienced. "But Jason," she tried, pulling back to look into his tear-stained face. "I'm not going to lie to you… what you did was amazing. Somewhere inside you there is hidden power. Even though what happened may seem bad or scary… I'm so _proud_ of you. You saved Mommy's life."

Jason gave her a tearful smile, and then looked down at the figure of Spider-Man still in his hand. "I'm always sick…" Jason placed the superhero figure down on the carpet. "In that Spider-Man movie, Peter was sick for a while, and then when he woke up, he had all these powers. Is that going to happen to me?"

"I don't know, honey. I really don't know."

"I _am_ scared…"

"It's okay, Jason," she said, pulling him into a tighter embrace. "You're still you. We love you, no matter what."

"Is everything going to be okay?"

"I hope so. I don't really understand it all myself. But we'll figure it out together, okay?" She took a deep breath and released her hold. "Do you know who could help you learn more about it?"

"Who?" His eyes were still shining with fearful tears.

"Superman. He's a good listener, I know that for a fact. And he's used to strange situations. Would you like it if he came to talk with you? Helped you with it?"

Jason's mouth dropped open, and then he recovered. "Yes!"

She wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Then I'll ask him. I know he'd love to help." She kissed the top of his head, and then smoothed back his hair. "And now, kiddo, I think it's time for bed."

He didn't complain at all as she helped him into his pajamas, he must have been so tired from their emotional conversation. Snuggling into his covers with a yawn, Jason looked for some final reassurance. "Will Superman really come talk to me, Mommy?"

"Yes, I promise you, Jason. He cares about you very much." Lois gave him a final kiss.

Jason shifted his body until he was curled up facing the window. The way he stared out hopefully suddenly worried her, and she looked out of the glass. _Did Clark ignore my request…? _she thought, irritated. But there was nothing at all there, just the moon hiding behind the clouds. Jason's eyes drifted closed.

She stood, careful not to wake him, and was surprised to see Richard leaning against the doorjamb. How long he had been there listening, she didn't know. But by the anxious look in his eyes, she knew that the man who had been father to her son and loving companion to herself was afraid… of being replaced.


	18. Chapter 18: Questions

Déjà Vu

Ch. 18: Questions

Lois' foot rocked impatiently, and she checked her watch again… 10:08. She grimaced. Clark had left an odd voice-mail on her cell phone this morning, explaining why he would be late:

"_Um, Lois? I know we have that interview with the deputy mayor this morning… but there's…"_ He had paused – had someone been listening nearby? Or was he still uncomfortable with the fact that she really _knew_ the secret now? _"…something_ _I need to take care of…I'm sorry, I'll be there as close to te—"_ The message had cut off there. She chuckled slightly, thinking of it again. The 'Man of Tomorrow' – clueless about how to use a cell phone.

Mitchener's secretary looked up from her computer screen at the small noise Lois had made. Lois flashed the bottle blonde a brief smile and gave her a little shake of her head, dismissing it. The woman went back to typing, manicured nails clicking on the keys.

Lois tried to suppress her annoyance. Sure, before he had been so good as to erase her memory, she had known briefly that Clark Kent had to live a dual life. But those idyllic few days had really not prepared her for the day-to-day irritations she was obviously going to experience as his working partner. Sure, it was great to add his 'special skills' to their investigations, but that also meant dealing with his absences. Making excuses… Working alone…

She supposed she should cut him a little slack – he _had_ saved her life on more than one occasion, and she wouldn't deny that whoever he was helping probably needed it – but it didn't change the fact that she was here alone.

_Did I just think that?_ she realized in shock. As much as she had resisted it, she and Clark had fallen back into their partnership so naturally, so easily. Recognizing this sent a warm sensation through her chest. She put a hand to her heart, and took a deep breath. The feeling was almost like…

_No, not again. I thought the déjà vu was over now. I have my memories back – what gives?_

She didn't have time to complete that train of thought, as Clark slipped through the office door, and shut it gently behind him. He mouthed, "Hi, Lois," and gave her his trademark goofy wave. "Sorry I'm late."

Lois gestured for him to sit beside her. "Don't worry about it," she murmured. She supposed she would have to get used to this now. Besides, Lone Wolf Lane could tackle anything by herself, if need be. Even if she was beginning to prefer the team approach…

"Still waiting, huh?"

"Yes, I guess his previous appointment is running long," she grumbled, giving her watch another glance. 10:13.

He gazed intensely at the door for a moment. "They're probably deep in some sort of conversation," he suggested, letting her know subtly what was going on behind the door.

She nodded. Lois started feeling impatient again, and her foot resumed its rocking. This was one of the worst parts of the job. The waiting. Lois was at her best in the thick of things.

The silence stretched, save for the incessant tapping of the secretary on her keyboard. Lois broke the silence. "So… last night we talked…" She left the sentence hanging.

"Uh huh…" Clark prompted.

"I told Richard about… what happened… he understands that Jason needs help."

A look that somehow combined worry, relief and longing crossed his face. "That's good."

"And Jason… he's scared, but excited that you'll help him." Suddenly, she turned a sardonic gaze on him, and dropped her voice. "But you probably 'heard' all this already."

"You _asked_ me not to listen in…" he rebuked her quietly, a little offended. "I didn't."

She felt ashamed of herself suddenly. But before she could apologize, he shrugged, and added, looking embarrassed, "I checked on him later though. From a distance, of course."

Lois couldn't suppress a grin. "Of course." Clark looked away suddenly, but she continued, "I think maybe we can work out—" The door to the deputy mayor's office suddenly opened. A gentleman in his fifties exited the doorway and then left through the main doors.

"It looks like it will be our turn soon."

Lois checked that she had her notes in order, and sat a little straighter in anticipation. Thankfully, she didn't wait long. The door opened again, and a youngish man with sandy brown hair, probably in his thirties, stepped into the waiting room.

He held out his hand for Lois to shake. "Lois Lane? Philip Mitchener. I'm a big fan of your work." He turned to Clark. "And Mister…"

"Kent. Clark Kent," her partner filled in for him, projecting the innocuous air he was so good at.

Mitchener smiled genuinely. "Good to meet you both. Please come into my office. Sorry about the wait," he apologized good-naturedly, "but there are a million things to take care of in the wake of the catastrophe last week."

As they entered his office, clean but not overly stylish, she gave the mementos placed around the room a once-over with a practiced eye. He had a few standard political photos, one with the mayor of Metropolis, and other photos with a few of the city's outstanding citizens. A personal photo or two on his back wall… Nothing that just jumped out and screamed 'dirty politician.'

Clark was chatting up Mitchener as they sat. "I bet it's been really hectic, huh?"

"Yes," he said modestly. "My office has been working around the clock to assist the disaster clean-up efforts."

"What types of things?" Clark readied his notepad and pencil to indicate to Mitchener that this conversation was on the record. Which suddenly caused her to remember that Clark had never used any sort of recording device. _It must be nice to have an eidetic memory_, she thought, readying her list of questions.

"Oh, we're coordinating the various emergency services: fire, police, medical. Securing access to FEMA services for the areas hardest hit. Requesting professional volunteer help for some of the larger messes."

"Impressive," Lois put in.

"Well, I'm not Superman," he said with a glance out the window, "but I do my best."

Lois grinned, suddenly liking this man despite her suspicions. She suppressed the urge to look at Clark's reaction.

Clark cleared his throat. "So, you've been in this job for how long?"

"About a year. I saw it as a great opportunity to give something back to the city I love."

"It must be difficult, dealing with a situation like this, so soon into your term of office," Lois encouraged.

"I won't lie to you… yes, it has been. When I got the news that Metropolis had been hit, I rushed back here. Thank God more people weren't injured."

Clark inquired, "You weren't in town when it happened?"

"No, I was on a business trip out West. But rest assured, I flew back as soon as I could."

"Tell us more about the city's efforts, especially your office's role." As Clark pressed the deputy mayor for more information, she continued her perusal of their surroundings, focusing on the deputy mayor.

He seemed earnest, well-dressed but not ostentatious, and energetic. In reading about the man, she had gotten the impression that he was a go-getter, driven to succeed. But his affable personality took some of the edge off, making him seem very down to earth. Lois felt a sense of kinship with him – another young, successful person trying to make his mark on the city.

Clark was slowly bringing the conversation around to Mitchener's business dealings. "When you say construction efforts are underway, is your company going to play a vital role?" Clark asked in a non-threatening way.

Mitchener's eyebrows raised ever-so-slightly. "My company?"

Lois added, "Yes, L & V."

"Oh, yes, I'm sorry. It's been a while since I've played an active role as a partner. The offices were damaged in the quake, but I've been trying to lend my help as a private citizen as well."

His words seemed sincere, the slip understandable. But Lois pressed on. "We've done some research on properties heavily damaged by the earthquake, and noticed a fair number were projects your company had originally built."

Mitchener's face fell suddenly. "Yes, I was horrified to find that out. But the current company president assures me that L & V will be lending a hand in whatever way possible. They've suspended work on some of their current projects while they assist our efforts."

He hadn't denied anything, or dissembled. Lois was almost disappointed. "How long do you expect it will be before the city is back on its feet again?"

"It's hard to say. Crews have been working non-stop to take care of the worst of the problems. I hope that we will see some real progress before winter sets in. The people of Metropolis are proud and strong. We're survivors, we always have been. We proved that during the five years Superman was away."

Lois couldn't resist a tiny dig at the man beside her as she said, "Yes, but most people are glad to have him back, aren't they?"

"Oh, no doubt. The loss of life would have been _much_ greater if he hadn't helped." Mitchener continued, a hint of a sardonic smile on his lips, "Metropolis was very lucky Superman got back from his 'journey to find himself' in time."

She knew the deputy mayor was probably slyly referencing her Pulitzer-winning editorial. While she once would have agreed with him, even added her own snarky comment, her suspicious feelings returned full force.

"Indeed," Clark responded, and she could just catch a trace of guilt.

"Well," Lois said, standing up. "Thank you for your time. Will you be available for follow up questions?"

"Any time, Ms. Lane, Mr. Kent. It's been a pleasure," he smiled warmly. He shook their hands in turn. "And if my office can be of any further assistance, don't hesitate to call." The phone suddenly rang. "If you'll excuse me…"

They exited to the waiting room. There was one more errand they needed to take care of… "Clark. Before we go, would you please…"

"What?"

"Don't you have, you know, one last thing to do?"

His face remained puzzled. "Like…?"

"Never mind." She noticed a water dispenser in the corner, and went to get a drink. As she pressed the spigot downward, she murmured in her quietest voice, "Clark. I want you to see if you can find any evidence we could use to prove there has been malfeasance." She raised the paper cup to her lips. "I'll talk to the secretary, you 'do your thing.'" She finished the water and tossed the cup into the trashcan. They were going to have to develop a code!

She brushed past him, not acknowledging anything, and stood before the secretary's desk. "Excuse me?"

The secretary took her earpiece out, and answered politely, "Yes?"

"I was wondering…" she searched for some reasonable excuse to talk to this woman, "…do you mind answering a few questions for our interview? I'd like to get a co-worker's opinion of Mr. Mitchener."

The secretary looked flattered. "Sure. What do you want to know?"

Lois kept Clark in her peripheral vision. He seemed to be studying a painting on the wall, slouching as if bored. "Well, what do you think of him?"

"I've only worked for him for about six months, but I think he's wonderful." A gleam came into her eyes as she described him. "He's dedicated, hard-working, a really nice guy. And he really cares about this city."

"Is that the company line? Or your real opinion?" Lois asked incisively.

The blonde grinned. "Believe me, I know better than to shoot my mouth off to reporters. But I can tell you the honest truth. Philip Mitchener is one of the good ones. I wouldn't be surprised if he makes a run for the Senate some day."

Clark materialized at her shoulder. "Um, are you ready, Lois? I think Mr. White wants an update by lunchtime."

Lois took the hint. Glancing down at the woman's desk plate, she confirmed, "Can we quote you, Ms. Peterson?"

"Sure." She smiled, and returned to her work.

A few moments later, the two reporters were trying to put some distance between themselves and the deputy mayor's office. "So?" Lois asked. "Find anything?"

"Not really, Lois. The guy seems on the up and up." They reached the elevators, and he pressed the down button.

"He also seems too good to be true."

The doors opened, and the elevator was actually empty. "If he's hiding something, he's doing it well." They stepped in and the doors shut behind them. "Not once did I detect a quickening of his heartbeat. He was telling us the truth, or at least what he believed to be the truth."

He could detect whether a person was lying as well? That was another useful skill! She filed it away for later. "Well, I feel like we are beating our heads against the wall on this one." She leaned against the wall dejectedly.

"But…"

"What?"

"There was an interesting tidbit I found… maybe something, uh, Richard can help with." She let him finish, remaining quiet. "In his desk drawer, he had a framed document that he obviously had taken down from the wall. There seemed to be a blank space where it must have been hanging."

"And it was?"

The elevator slowed, and stopped. As the doors opened, he responded, "A pilot's license."


	19. Chapter 19: Almost

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 19: Almost

"Look in May 1991," Clark suggested. Lois turned to the stacks behind her and pulled out the file box. "May 8th, page E11."

"Thanks," she called to Clark, where he was searching a few columns over.

The two of them had the place to themselves. The electronic archives eliminated the need for most people to search through the hard copies of the _Planet_ kept in 'The Morgue.' She knew from Clark's miraculous find yesterday that he could search for information here much faster than an electronic search, and with better recall. If she wanted, she could be directing him like a conductor…. but there was something about getting her hands on the documents herself, seeing the information clearly printed with her own eyes…

Besides, Lois Lane was now a woman on a mission. When they returned from their interview with Mitchener, Perry had been less than pleased with their findings:

"_Lane, Kent_ – _you must have something more for me than this," he stated flatly._

"_Well…" Lois started, but dropped the excuses she had been formulating in her mind. "No. But I know there is some sort of connection between the buildings with the most damage. And I would bet that L & V Construction is involved, and, to a greater or lesser degree, Philip Mitchener as well."_

_Perry pierced her with a hard look. "Would you bet your reputation?"_

_Lois turned to Clark. She could see in his eyes that he would support whatever she decided. "Yes."_

"_Because you know what this would mean, Lois. Mitchener comes from a well-connected and well-respected family. If you go up against him without hard evidence, publishing an article based on supposition…"_

"_It's not just supposition, Mr. White," Clark put in. "Superman scanned the buildings in question, and he saw evidence of shoddy workmanship."_

"_So, Superman had time to tell you all about the structural inconsistencies in a damaged building, but he didn't have time for an interview?" Perry shook his head, incredulous. "Great Caesar's Ghost – didn't you even ask him about the typhoon he redirected this morning?"_

_Lois tried to cover. "We were so busy in our interview, we didn't even know, Perry." So _that's _where he had been…_

_Perry threw up his hands in frustration. "I knew Lois could get myopic when she was digging into a story, but is she rubbing off on you, too, Kent?" Clark opened his mouth to respond to an obviously rhetorical question, but Perry plowed on. "For the thousandth time, boys and girls, what sells newspapers?"_

"_Ad nauseam," Lois added under her breath. Clark barely kept his composure._

"_Scandal…" he slapped his fingers into his opposite palm for emphasis. "Sex…" by this time they were chiming in with him, "… and Superman."_

_Lois rolled her eyes._

_Perry pretended to ignore it, and went on. "You haven't found a whiff of scandal, never mind sex, and you two pass up a chance for an exclusive with Superman?" He huffed disbelievingly. "When this was about Lex Luthor and his dirty dealings, that was one thing. But now?" He shook his head wearily. "You two have one more day on this angle before I switch you to a different story."_

"_But, Chief…"_

_Perry's eyes narrowed at hearing his hated nickname used. "You heard me, Lane. One more day." He moved purposefully back to his chair, sitting with a manner that brooked no further argument. "We'll cut our losses and run an article on the deputy mayor's work with the reconstruction for tomorrow's edition. You can handle that, Kent?"_

_Clark_ _nodded. He could probably handle a hundred pieces like that, she thought, impressed and frustrated at the same time._

"_In the meantime, bring me hard facts, and not hearsay, by tomorrow morning. Got it?"_

"_Got it," they replied in unison, although Clark was wearing an expression of wide-eyed agreement, and Lois' features were set with determination._

Perry should have known better. There was nothing that would set a fire under her feet faster than being told she would not be able to do it. Lois brought the papers she had collected over to a table, where Clark was sorting through a pile of his own. "If we can't find anything suspect about Mitchener in the obvious places, we might as well try to connect the dots some other way."

"I'm not sure there's anything to find, Lois. He really seemed honest and sincere during our interview, and his office _is_ working overtime to help clean up the city."

"There's something here… I know there is. My hunches are rarely wrong." She stopped sorting the documents, and faced him. "Trust me. This is _my_ superpower."

Clark quirked an eyebrow, and smiled fully at Lois, acknowledging the truth of her comment. A tiny frisson of pleasure went through her, and she suddenly felt hyperaware of him. Then his brows drew together and his voice dropped almost an octave. "But Mitchener was right. If I'd only been around in the first place, none of this would have happened. Luthor would be serving a life sentence in prison…"

"Clark! You stop that right now!" Mesmerized by the depth of feeling in his voice, Lois reached out and gently touched him. "Don't let your guilt over what happened blind you." She felt an almost electric tingle in her fingers where they rested on his arm, as though attracted by a magnet, and she was somehow unable to sever the connection. His face turned toward hers, eyes full of regret.

A sensation of warmth, the different sort of déjà vu she had felt this morning, built again in her chest, spreading outward through her limbs. She found herself moving toward him, drawn inexorably to touch his face gently with her free hand. "You can't save the world from itself, no matter how hard you try." Moving into him, she stood so close she could see the light filtering through the dusty blinds reflected in his clear eyes. Her face now only inches from his, she breathed, "Just concentrate on saving the ones who really… need it…"

Her lips were almost brushing his. _Oh, my God!_ she thought, aghast. _What am I doing?_

Clark pulled back abruptly just as she found herself doing the same. Her face flushed with shame and she pushed away roughly. She drew in a shaky breath, but before she could speak…

"We can't do this." He seemed as shaken as she was. "It's not right."

Of course it wasn't right! Lois felt guilty… angry… and disappointed. She stood up quickly, not caring that the papers she had been organizing flew everywhere. "I need some air."

Pushing past him for the doorway, careful to avoid touching him again, she started to yank the door open… and found it opening already.

"Hey, guys! Jimmy told me…" Richard trailed off, nonplussed at her frazzled appearance. "Lois, what…?"

"I'm going to get some coffee," she explained, straining to seem normal, and walked past him to go down the hall. Neither one of the men chased after her. Clark was likely feeling guilty; Richard was likely used to it.

Lois reached the coffee maker, grabbed a paper cup, and poured the coffee into it with trembling hands. She had forgotten all about Richard. When they had returned from the interview around lunchtime, Richard had been busy on the telephone. And then Perry had called them in for their meeting. So before heading to search the archives, they had asked Jimmy to let Richard know they had a question for him.

And now Clark was in there with Richard, probably gasping for air as much as she was. She hoped that _he_ had the presence of mind to ask about the hidden pilot's license, because she certainly didn't right now.

Deep in the bowels of the building, she felt stifled by her thoughts and by the walls around her. Lois moved through doors and corridors in a daze, headed in no particular direction. When she arrived at the destination chosen by her subconscious mind, she could only stare around her dumbly. The roof of the _Daily Planet._

Lois closed her eyes a moment, and let the light breeze blow her hair away from her face. Then she walked over to the place where she and Superman had talked. Had begun their flight. Had almost... The roof looked very different than the last time she was up here, the rays of the late afternoon sun catching the recently repaired globe, but her feelings about it were not.

_It almost happened again!_ she thought miserably. Superman… Clark… it didn't seem to matter which side of himself he was displaying anymore, she was unavoidably drawn to him.

She remembered how intoxicating his presence and warmth had been that night. Being alone with him on the roof, the way they had so many times before… Their lips had been only a hair's breadth from touching when she broke it off. Just like a few minutes ago.

Just before it had happened, she had been feeling that warm sensation. This morning, she had termed it another case of déjà vu… but now she was a little shocked to realize that it felt more like… falling in love.

_But how _could _I be?_ _I loved him once… truly loved him. But now, I love Richard… don't I?_ She compared the feelings, almost weighing them against each other. On one side, she had the comfortable companionship she and Richard shared. He knew her so well, was a wonderful father, a tender lover… even if her heart hadn't been in it since Superman's return. And last night, well…

On the other side, there was Clark. Since finding out, or really, remembering that he and Superman were the same person, Lois was being deluged by a multitude of emotions. She was angry about how he had erased her memory, without giving her a say in the matter or a chance to prove she could handle the knowledge. She felt guilty for the dismissive way she had treated him when she thought he was just farm-boy, aw-shucks Clark Kent… and for the way she had put him on a pedestal as Superman. She was frightened for him and their son, terrified of what Luthor might do if they didn't find him first. She was impressed at his ability to juggle two lives so convincingly, as well as the noble and interesting ways he put his gifts to use. She felt pride in their easy partnership at work, and how they seemed to complement each other. And she felt bits and pieces of many other emotions as well… thankfulness, envy, sadness, paranoia… And apparently attraction. Although she would have sworn only two days ago that it was a ghost of passion brought back with the memories… today had proven it was something very much alive.

Lois sighed. Richard was right. She _was_ still in love with Superman, and now she could finally admit it. She had to make a choice, and soon. She couldn't string along both men now that she knew she had feelings for each of them.

But it wouldn't be an easy choice. She could choose loveable, safe, stable Richard or complicated, romantic, exciting Clark. If she chose one over the other, would she forever regret it? And which was better for Jason in the long run?

- - - - -

After not finding Clark in the Morgue, she was relieved to see him at his desk busily typing. She got within a few feet of him before he looked up.

"Hi, Clark." She tried to show she was feeling better with a small smile.

"Hi, Lois." Clark's fingers continued to fly over the keyboard as he smiled back nervously. "I'm finishing that story Perry wanted."

"I see. Look, Clark…" she began, but he interrupted her.

"I indexed the articles that have any mention of Mitchener's name." He continued his rapid-fire typing as he spoke.

"Okay, thanks. I wanted—"

"They are indexed by date, and on your desk."

"All right." Clark obviously wanted to avoid talking now. Fine, she could do that. "Did you talk to Richard?"

His fingers paused momentarily on the keys, but he didn't respond.

"About the pilot's license?" she prompted.

"Yes. He said he would research whether Mitchener had run into any trouble as a pilot before the end of work today. I was also planning to check with the local airports to see if his flight plans were logged, and try to get an idea about where he usually flies." He reported this in a perfectly friendly tone, but she could sense there was something he was hiding.

But she didn't press the issue. "Sounds good." Clark grunted noncommittally and kept working.

Shaking her head, she returned to her desk. She began to read the first article they had pulled. _Well, Mr. Mitchener. What _are _you hiding?_

- - - - -

A few frustrating hours later, Lois pulled her car into the garage at home. They had found absolutely nothing, except the names of some of Mitchener's college buddies and business associates. Lois had tried to track a few of them down, even left messages for some, but never reached a live person. The trail was growing cold, fast.

And Clark's behavior had been puzzling. He had been genial, polite, but completely impersonal. Not like either one of his personas. Their almost kiss must have affected him more strongly than she imagined, if he didn't even want to _discuss_ it.

Lois wearily opened the door from the garage to the kitchen, and dropped her purse and keys on the counter. It was awfully dark in here… weren't the boys home yet? What were they…

Her eyes fell on a surprising scene. An elegantly set table, with linen tablecloth, tapered candles and a beautiful lily centerpiece stood before her. In the dim candlelight, Richard was dressed handsomely, smiling a touch nervously. Jason stood beside him, dressed in play clothes, backpack slung over one shoulder. The little boy was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"What is all this?" she asked, amazed.

Richard came over and planted a gentle kiss on her cheek. "I thought it would be nice to have a romantic evening together. Help you relax after a stressful couple of days." _And to make sure I remember his commitment to me and Jason,_ she realized.

"But what about Jason?"

"Don't worry, I got someone to watch him tonight." At that moment, the doorbell rang. "Oh, there he is now." Richard started walking toward the entryway. Jason began shifting from foot to foot excitedly.

"He? Oh, who did you get, Jimmy?"

Richard didn't need to answer. Jason had already bounded to the door and thrown it open, revealing his fidgeting sitter. Below bleak eyes, he offered a goofy little grin and wave, although his face lit up as he lowered his gaze to Jason.

"Mister Clark!"


	20. Chapter 20: The Dance

Déjà Vu

Chapter 20: The Dance

Richard stepped around Lois' frozen form to clap Clark on the shoulder and give him a handshake. "Thanks, buddy. I appreciate you doing this on such short notice."

"Sure," Clark responded with a wan smile. "It's no problem at all. I—I'm sure Jason and I can find something to do."

Jason, who had been bouncing on his toes, giggled with excitement.

Lois finally managed to break her inertia. She hadn't planned for Clark and Jason to get time alone in this of all ways, but she knew to grab a hold of an opportunity when it arose. "I'm _sure_ you can." She and Clark shared a significant glance. He nodded ever so slightly.

"Are you sure it's all right for him to stay overnight with you?" Richard added. _Overnight?_ Lois looked between Clark and her fiancé sharply and arched an eyebrow in surprise.

Both men ignored her reaction. "Yes. It's fine," Clark assured him. Jason simply beamed, and hitched his backpack on his shoulder in preparation to leave.

She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. So _this_ was why Clark had been acting strangely all afternoon. She had thought he had been upset by the almost-kiss, but Richard must have waylaid him in the archives. _Why didn't he tell me? Did he think he was being noble or something?_

Since she had rediscovered his secret, Clark had tried to respect her feelings for Richard and stay out of the way. A lesser man would probably have pressed the issue, forcing her to make a decision immediately. He was probably beating himself up over what had almost happened between them that afternoon, fully shouldering the responsibility. Only self-sacrificing Clark would actually agree to babysit so that his rival could have a romantic dinner with the woman he loved.

_It's as much my fault as his, but there's no way to explain that to him right now…_

She knelt down beside Jason. "Have fun with Mister Clark, and be good, okay?" At Jason's nod she turned to look up at Richard. "Does he have everything? His medication, his inhaler, two changes of clothes…?"

"Yes, Mommy," Richard replied indulgently. "But before I forget, Clark, we need to get your home phone number and address. I'll go get a notepad and a pen…"

As Richard slipped away toward the kitchen, Lois looked past Clark to see the waiting taxi. With her fiancé momentarily out of earshot, she felt as if she should say something, _anything_…

But the two of them just stood awkwardly, each not really looking at anyone except Jason, who was growing more impatient by the second. He was really anxious to go, it seemed. How funny that he had grown so attached to Clark so quickly! Was there some primal connection that he sensed, even at his tender age…?

"Here you go, Clark," Richard said, cutting into her thoughts as he handed the paper and pen to their 'babysitter.' Clark quickly wrote his information down and handed it back.

Lois gave Jason a quick hug and kiss. "See you tomorrow, honey."

"Okay, Mommy. Bye, Daddy." He waved at his parents and started walking toward the taxi, Clark hurrying to keep up with his eager charge.

"Bye, sport. We'll be over to pick you up for school in the morning, okay?"

Clark held open the rear door to let Jason crawl in. "Okay," Jason called, voice already muffled inside the vehicle.

They waved as the taxi drove away, and as she kept her eyes on the dwindling taillights, Richard placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'll go open some wine and get the salads on the table. Would you like to freshen up before dinner?"

"Yes, thank you," she said distractedly. The car turned the corner and was out of sight.

"He'll be fine, you know. Clark seems to have a real way with him – that's why I asked him to watch Jason in the first place." Richard gave her shoulder a last caress before going to the table.

Lois felt a silent ironic laugh bubble up. Hoping she would be heard, she quietly spoke into the darkness. "Make the most of it, Super-Dad."

* * *

"Are you finished with that?" Richard reached out for her dinner plate, attentive as a waiter. She nodded around her sip of wine, and he removed the heavy plate deftly. He had insisted on doing everything – setting, serving, clearing – and she had lacked for nothing.

She heard the water turn on in the sink, and let her thoughts roam again, as they had several times this evening, to Clark. The same thing happened throughout dinner, and she just barely managed to cover. Richard's only reaction had been a brief narrowing of his eyes when she took just a little too long to answer his questions. Whether he was chalking it up to worry over the investigation, which was likely to be canned in the morning due to an utter lack of evidence, or to the real reason, her relationship with Superman… she didn't know. He never said a word, specifically trying to keep this night about the two of them, and them only.

If only _she_ could! Her thoughts kept drifting to the afternoon's near-disaster and the evening Clark must be having with his son. Would he make some excuse and then suddenly show up as Superman? Would he try to talk to Jason about things in a roundabout way as Clark? Would he – horror of horrors – somehow reveal himself? _Clark is a big boy_, she chided herself. _He's been playing Jekyll and Hero for years…_

In the background, a soft collection of jazz standards set a romantic mood, and the candles had burned nearly down, wax drizzling across the candlesticks in an almost sensual way. She should be feeling romantic, she _wanted_ to be… Taking a deep breath, she purposefully remembered some of the special times she and Richard had shared. The night they had met on the roof… the office Christmas party where they had first made their relationship public… the ballroom dance class they had taken together… She smiled at the memory.

Richard was a born dancer. He had moved into the new steps with ease, a man confident about himself and his body. Lois, always a little on edge, faltered over and over again. But he had been patient and kind. And finally by the end of the session, she was able to do a simple swing step, even an occasional turn, without making a complete fool of herself.

"A String of Pearls" began on the stereo, and Lois closed her eyes. She began to sway gently to the music, feet below the table moving in time to the steps she had learned. She hummed along quietly with the saxophone riff, lost in recollection.

Suddenly, she felt a pair of eyes on her. She opened them and saw Richard, standing with two dessert plates in hand. His warm, knowing grin almost made her blush. He gently set the plates down on the table and held out his hand to her, palm facing upward. "May I have this dance?"

Laying her hand in his, he gallantly brought her to her feet and spun her into dancer's position. They fell into the steps naturally, even though the class had been a couple of years ago. Lois' heart began to beat faster with the exertion, and she let the movement carry her back to a simpler time in their relationship.

With the start of a new song, the music shifted to a slower tempo. Wordlessly, Richard pulled her into a tighter embrace. They did a simple step-touch and she slowly let her head fall onto his shoulder, breathing in his scent. His arms felt so comfortable, so calming. His strong feelings for her, combined with his acceptance and love for all her faults were a powerful aphrodisiac. Richard brought a hand down to stroke her hair as they swayed. "Mm," she murmured with pleasure, finally able to enjoy the moment.

"It's been such a long time since we've just spent an evening together, hasn't it?" Richard murmured into her hair.

"Yes. With Jason…"

"And the _Planet_…"

_And Superman…_

"I've missed this," Richard continued. "The times after Jason was in bed, just talking, or sitting together on the couch…" He paused. "Where did they…" But he trailed off, clearly not wanting to revisit the big red-caped issue between them.

He gently lifted her chin off of his shoulder to look into her eyes. "And I've missed this, too…" Then his mouth descended on hers, and she closed her eyes, anticipating it, needing to feel the connection between them again.

She gave her all to the kiss, and it felt wonderful. He was gentle, not at all demanding, and a feeling of tenderness for him began in her chest, spreading outward toward her arms. She drew him closer to her, their lips moving in almost as perfect a dance as the steps they had just performed.

He responded by lowering his arm to pull her tightly against him, passion taking hold. The slow song they had been dancing to ended, and another began, but neither one of them really noticed.

She let her mind wander, giving herself completely over to the sensations of the kiss. Her fingers traveled across his strong shoulders, into his thick, brown hair. In her mind's eye, the living room walls faded away to white, and she was floating. Although she didn't realize it, her body thrummed in tune with Sarah Vaughan's smoky alto:

_Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars_  
_Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars_  
_In other words, hold my hand_  
_In other words, darling, kiss me…_

Lois felt that strange stirring again in her heart, and knew that when she looked into his deep, blue eyes again, there would be more love for her than for all the people in the world he so cared about…

She gasped, going cold all over with horror and guilt. She had been immersed deeply in a fantasy of kissing Clark!

Richard misunderstood her gasp of horror for one of passion, and began to trail kisses down her neck. "Lois… do you think tonight…?"

She found herself unable to think, unable to move.

He lightly touched his lips to her earlobe, and whispered seductively, "Upstairs, I have a surprise I think you'll like…" Then he breathed warmly into her ear as he took her lobe between his teeth.

Lois shuddered, but not in pleasure. She was finally able to move away from him, trembling. She and Richard had not made love since Superman had returned a few weeks ago. She had begged off in exhaustion, and at the time, she truly felt it. But had her subconscious mind been telling her somehow that she could no longer betray her true love?

What? Oh, my God, this was so confusing! She took a step backward, and Richard looked into her eyes in surprise. He saw a different emotion there than he had been expecting after the intensity of the kiss.

"Lois…?"

And the confusion and hurt in his own eyes sealed her decision. "Richard, I…" She fumbled with her engagement ring. "I can't do this to you anymore… it's not fair to you… or to me…"

Lois pressed the ring into his hands, kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "Goodbye." And then she fled, haunted by the look in her ex-fiancé's eyes and the lyrics to the song:

_In other words, please be true_  
_In other words, I love you…_

* * *

Lois didn't really care, didn't really know where she was driving at first. Her tears blinded her to the moonlit road, smearing the streetlights into a wash of brightness across her vision, and she kept having to swipe them away to see to drive.

But now, as she walked toward the building, clutching her jacket tightly around her shivering body, she understood there was only one place to go.

She stepped into the alcove, took a deep, steadying breath, and pressed the intercom buzzer. A voice, full of astonishment, crackled through the speaker. _"Hello?"_

"Clark – can I come up? It's Lois."

**End of Act II.**


	21. Chapter 21: Rain

Déjà Vu

**Act III:**

Chapter 21: Rain

"Lois? Is everything all right? Did something happen?" Clark hurriedly ushered her into his apartment, and closed the door, talking a mile a minute. "I heard your heartbeat approaching… you seemed so upset! Not the danger kind of upset, but…" He seemed to slip into 'Clark mode' whenever she was near him. Didn't he know it wasn't necessary to behave that way around her anymore? But maybe… She suddenly realized that she didn't even know which side of him was closer to the real Clark…

"Should I wake Jason…?" He finally trailed off when he saw her half-bemused, half-agonized expression.

She shook her head. With her mascara running in tracks down her cheeks, with eyes and nose red from crying, what a lovely sight she must be. "Something happened all right…" She suddenly felt weary to the bone. "Can I sit, please?"

He started with embarrassment. "Oh, of course, please…" he said quickly, gesturing to the couch.

As she sat and tried to settle herself, he was instantly hovering over her with a box of tissues. She plucked one gratefully, and began to dab at her eyes. Her thoughts were still whirling – how could she tell him everything she needed to say? _How do I even begin?_

"You really don't know why I'm here?" she asked, hoping that she would be saved a few explanations.

"No… I wasn't listening, Lois. You and Richard were spending the evening together…" His face contorted in pain for an instant. "How could I?" He looked away out of the window, where dark, heavy clouds were covering the moon.

"Oh, Clark," she said, touching his shoulder gently. He was so certain they would never again share anything more than love for their little boy. _I have to tell him…_

He turned back to her, his face a picture of deepest concern. "What _did_ happen? Why are you here?"

"I… Richard…" She swallowed, and then the dam burst forth. "Oh, my God, I can't believe I just ran out like that!" she cried, burying her face in her hands.

"You… what?"

She grabbed another tissue and blew her nose this time, rather noisily. "I… I left him, Clark." Lois took his hands in hers, and moved his fingers across the spot where her engagement ring had rested.

His shock would have been almost funny any other time. His mouth dropped open slightly, his blue eyes went wide behind his glasses. She could see the super-wheels turning in his head as he struggled to make sense of what he had just heard. "But…"

"I couldn't lie to myself anymore. Or to him. The truth is, things haven't been the same between Richard and me since you returned, Clark. All these emotions came bubbling back to the surface: hurt, anger, pain, betrayal…"

"I know," he said softly.

"No, you don't," she corrected, more for herself than him. "I've never felt such strong emotions for any man… anyone! Until you."

He looked at her, still not comprehending what she was trying to say. She would have to just come out and say it…

"All those emotions, they were protecting my heart from the truth I didn't want to admit to myself. That I was still in love with you."

If it were possible for his eyes to grow wider, they did. "You…" he murmured, still disbelieving.

"I left Richard for _you_, you big dork." She smiled to soften the words.

The disbelief on his face turned to pure joy. He started forward to wrap her in a hug, but suddenly checked himself, looking as if he was unsure this was the right thing to do. He must have been wondering if the superhero's duty to the world precluded any chance at happiness for the man.

Lois leaned into him, giving him permission to love her, and after a moment, his strong arms encircled her. She finally relaxed into his embrace in a way she hadn't in a long time. Somehow this felt more real than the fantasy they had shared at the Fortress all those years ago. She wanted to stay here forever in his arms…

But there was so much to discuss. She pulled away reluctantly. "Clark, as much as I want to…" _…and boy, do I want to…_ "We can't just rush headlong into anything." She looked toward the hallway, where she assumed Jason was sleeping in the spare bedroom beyond. "There are others to consider."

"I completely agree," he said with a reasonable tone of voice. "Rushing into things is what got us…"

"…into trouble the last time," Lois finished for him with a smile, but she quickly became serious again. "It's going to be so hard on Jason. He really loves Richard. I don't know how he'll react… And I can't even imagine telling him you're his father yet…"

"It's a lot to put on one little boy," Clark said gravely.

"And then there's Richard. I left him so suddenly, he must be absolutely bewildered." Lois felt such sadness again, remembering the look in his eyes. She had turned off her cell phone in the car the first time Richard had called. She couldn't even listen to the sound of his voice right now… didn't want to think about whether the message would be filled with pleading, anger or bitterness… "He has to know I've left him for Superman. It's the only conclusion he could come to after what he's found out the last few days. And if he ever saw us together as a couple…" She shuddered and looked down at her hands. "He'd just know… and I don't know _what_ he would do with that information."

"We'll figure this stuff out together, Lois. I'll give you all the time you need." He lifted her chin gently to look up at him. "Love is patient, you know."

The love she saw shining in his clear, blue eyes, no longer held back, was almost stunning in its intensity. She felt a wave of tears threaten to overflow again, but blinked them back. "I know. Thank you." She reached over and gave his hands a squeeze. "Can I stay here tonight? I don't really have anywhere else to go…" Not anywhere where she wouldn't be assaulted with a million questions, anyway, and a hotel room would feel so empty…

He startled again, as if she had reminded him of some duty he'd forgotten. "Oh! Of course you can! I'll just go get the bedroom ready…" Then he blushed, very attractively she noticed, as he realized how that sounded. "I mean! I'll take the couch, and you can have the bedroom…"

"Absolutely not, Clark. I'm the intruder here. The couch is fine."

"Lois, you must be exhausted after the night you had… you deserve a little rest, and the couch is not very comfortable." He injected a little gentlemanly firmness into that statement.

She retorted, even more firmly. "And you don't deserve it? You practically run yourself ragged all day living a double life…" She held his eyes, asserting herself. "You sleep in your own bed tonight."

A silent war of wills raged for about a minute, as they locked gazes. Then one corner of his lips crinkled up in amused surrender. "You win, Miss Lane. The couch it is. I'll go get you a blanket and pillow."

After he left, she breathed a sigh of relief. Even though she believed completely in the reasons she had just given him… she hadn't added that sleeping in his bed tonight, even alone, would feel a little _too_ intimate right now.

A moment later, he returned with the promised blanket and pillow, a spare toothbrush, still in its box… and a soft brown-plaid flannel shirt. Lois looked from the shirt to his sheepish face, a small smile curving her lips. He explained, "I noticed you didn't bring anything with you… and I didn't think you'd want to sleep in that…" He gestured to the black slipdress she had been wearing for the disastrous dinner.

She took the bundle with a silent nod, and set it on the couch.

"I would lend you some shorts or something, but I don't think I have anything that will fit you…" He shut his mouth, probably deciding he'd said enough. For a man who had once savored her every curve, he was surprisingly shy.

Lois moved closer to him, touched by his genteel ways. "This will be fine. Thank you, Clark." Standing on tiptoe, she gave him a light kiss on the cheek. "Good night." She was surprised anew at his warmth, which lingered on her lips.

Clark bent down to give her a light kiss of his own, breathing, "Good night," against her cheek. A ripple of pleasure spread from the point of contact, and she shut her eyelids. If just the slightest voluntary touch evoked such a reaction in her…

Thankfully, he was turning away and heading for his bedroom. "Let me know if you need anything, all right?"

"I will."

He smiled once more, and then disappeared into his doorway.

* * *

Two hours later, Lois was still staring up at the ceiling trying to fall asleep. A thousand different scenarios were playing through her mind. What would she do about Richard? And Jason? And Perry… the office… her family…

So many repercussions for this one rash act. She mentally kicked herself again for bolting like that. Richard had deserved an explanation, and she had gone with her gut, and acted out of pure instinct. She chuckled softly. _When have I ever acted any differently when it came to Superman?_ _I've always followed my heart and not my head._

No matter how difficult it was going to be, she promised herself that she would give Richard a fuller explanation, some closure. He had treated her well, more than well, during the years they had shared. But how much to tell? He had figured out that Jason wasn't his son, what else could he figure out with the right incentive? This was a fire they had to put out, and soon.

Jason was another matter, possibly harder than Richard. He would be devastated by their break-up, she just knew it. But how would it manifest itself? Would he cry and plead that things must never change? Would he act out in anger and frustration? Or would he seem to accept it placidly, while closing himself off to her emotionally? In many ways, she was looking forward to _that_ conversation even less than the one with Richard. Children were a lot less predictable than adults.

Heaven knows how _anyone_ would react around the office… oh, God, this was going to be a nightmare.

She groaned softly and curled up under the blanket. At that moment, a crack of thunder pealed across the sky outside. The dark clouds she had seen before had finally worked themselves into a full-fledged storm. _Figures_, she thought. _Are you trying to tell me something?_

Lois huffed in frustration and flung back the blanket from her legs. She looked outside, trying to gauge how strong the storm was going to become. It hadn't started raining on the balcony yet… she opened the sliding glass door, and stepped outside. Sure, she was clad only in a flannel shirt which nearly grazed her knees, but she didn't feel uncomfortably cold.

After closing the door again, she walked over to the edge of the balcony, grabbed the iron railing and looked down. Was this where Clark took off and landed on a nightly basis? She noticed that the closest buildings were far enough away that he could probably come and go undetected. He was probably very careful about it, too. Did he change before he returned, and then ride the elevator to his apartment, just like anyone else? Did the doorman notice his strange comings and goings? How much time did he really spend here?

She realized that she really knew nothing at all of his life outside of the _Planet_ and his heroic rescues. What did he do with his time? What were his interests? What kind of music did he like, books, favorite foods… These were all things she could recite with ease about Richard, but Clark?

But instead of feeling nervous about how little she knew, she felt a thrill of anticipation. She was going to learn all of these things about him, experience the excitement of getting to _really_ know him. The now-familiar warm sensation started again in her chest. She finally was recognizing it for what it was. She had felt it every time she thought of Clark and their relationship. She felt an intense connection to him… and tonight, while kissing Richard, she'd suddenly realized that she and Richard had never had that connection. She hadn't really noticed it when Superman was away, but now it was obvious that the stark difference in the two was like a bonfire beside a single candle flame.

The thunder crashed a little closer this time, but she stayed where she was. Why had she let it go on so long? She had accepted Richard's proposal readily enough, but refused even to think about planning a wedding. She let him talk her into buying a house, and it had seemed like maybe that was enough. They had everything but the marriage license…

A wave of sadness washed through her just as the first raindrops fell on her fingertips. _I was so unfair to him! He deserved so much better than a woman who shared her life, her son, her bed, but never really shared her heart. There must have been a piece of it locked away with the memories…_

She was beginning to see Clark's reasons for wiping her memories, even though she still didn't accept them fully. He thought he was protecting her, saving her from a world of hurt. He couldn't have known that the ripples would spread out and affect them all like this.

Unbidden, a fresh outpouring of tears streamed down her cheeks again, mixing with the rain that was now coming down quite steadily. _Oh, that's just perfect, Lois, _she thought, sobbing even harder._ The perfect cliché – the broken woman sobbing in the rain._ So many tears she had cried these last few days! Would they ever stop?

She didn't know how long she stood there, not caring that she was being totally drenched, but she suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind. Of course, Clark would have heard her come out here, would have heard her begin to bawl like a child. He had probably been reluctant to disturb her, but couldn't help but comfort her.

"Shh, it's all right," he soothed, and she turned around to bury her head in his chest.

"So many people have been hurt, Clark, will be hurt by this…"

"We'll work things out, I promise." He kissed the top of her head, and embraced her tighter.

"This _is_ the right thing to do, isn't it?"

Once again, he tilted her chin so that she could look into his eyes. "I've never felt anything more right than this."

Lois was struck again by his deep gaze, mesmerized by his presence. He was just as soaked now as she was, the rain running in rivulets down his face, curling his hair against his forehead and into his eyes. His undershirt was clinging to him, bringing his chiseled muscles into relief below the fabric.

The 'warms' she had been having for Clark were definitely becoming 'hots' now. The sensation swept through her entire body, causing her to flush with passion. She tentatively reached up to brush the errant locks from his face, her mouth parting involuntarily…

And despite both of their best intentions, despite the rational way they had discussed waiting, their mouths crashed together hungrily. Lois drank in the taste of him, giving herself completely to what they had denied each other the previous afternoon. Clark greedily explored her with tongue and hands. Lois gripped his back tightly, unafraid at last of expressing her need.

A soft moan escaped her lips at the feel of his hands traveling lower, and she pressed herself against him. She was completely aware that there was only a flannel shirt and some thin underwear separating him from…

And only a thin wall separating them from an impressionable little boy!

Lois gasped, and pulled away. "Clark, we can't…."

Although she could see passion smoldering in his eyes, he knew exactly why she had stopped, and agreed fully. "Jason."

She took a step back, a hand to her chest. "Oh, my God, that was…" _Incredible_, she finished silently, body tingling all over. _Like five years of missed opportunity packed into one kiss!_

Suddenly Clark stiffened beside her. He leapt back, putting a careful distance between them, and whirled abruptly toward the living room. Walking toward them from the hallway, rubbing his eyes, was a pajama-clad little boy. He stopped dead in confusion when he saw just who was standing out in the rain with his 'babysitter.'

"Mommy? What are _you_ doing here?"


	22. Chapter 22: Tell All

**A/N: Woo hoo! You guys rock! Over 1000 reviews! I never even passed 100 with a story before this one. Huge amounts of kisses, hugs and grateful tears…**

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 22: Tell All

"Um… hi, honey." Those seemed to be the only words she could manage at this moment, considering she could still feel the lingering touch of Clark's hands on her body. Thank goodness for the rain still pelting her – otherwise she would have needed an _ice_ _cold_ shower. She tried to come up with something as she walked back into the living room. A pool of rainwater began collecting at her feet, but she didn't pay it much attention. "Did we wake you?"

Clark slipped past her, heading for the hallway, perhaps to get her a towel or a robe.

The surprise on Jason's face faded slightly. "The storm was loud. But then I heard someone talking outside my window…" A flash of annoyance flickered in his blue eyes. "Mommy… you aren't… _checking up_ on me, are you?" He scowled adorably, a mirror image of her own frown, and continued. "I _am_ five-years old now. Almost six!"

She knelt down in front of him and trying not to laugh, assured him gently, "No, of course not, sweetheart. I knew you'd be safe with Mister Clark." She struggled to keep her face composed while she speedily tried to make up a plausible excuse. "No, we, um… I was just here to…"

Clark came back into the room, and finished for her, while handing her a large, fluffy towel, "Your mommy and I have a lot to discuss with the story we're working on for the newspaper." Well, it was not the best excuse, but maybe Jason's five-year old mind would accept it…

Jason titled his head slightly, and the frown deepened. "Where's Daddy? I thought you had a 'date.'"

Lois stood and began toweling her hair off. "Our date is over, Jason." _More than that is over, but the middle of the night is not the time to spring this on him!_ She experienced a moment of thankfulness that the towel and hair hanging around her face hid her agonized expression from him. "Plus, Daddy is not working on this story this time. Uncle Perry put Mister Clark and me on this together."

She suddenly noticed that Clark was still standing there, dripping wet. Lois gave his plastered bedclothes another languid glance. His thin, clinging t-shirt and flannel bottoms were leaving very little to the imagination… _Snap out of it, Lane! Your very curious little boy is standing right here!_ "Don't you need to get out of those?"

Clark blushed shyly at her unintentional double-entendre. "Well, that towel there is the last clean one… I haven't had time to do the laundry… all I have left are dish towels." He looked down at his feet. "I'll be fine."

It took every ounce of determination she had to hand the towel she was using back to him. "Here. Use this one. It's still dry enough."

As he took it from her gratefully, Jason piped up, totally unaware of the sexually charged atmosphere in the room, "Why were you guys standing in the rain? You always tell me not to do that, Mommy." He gave her a disapproving look, very similar to the ones she had given him a million times. But suddenly, a different sort of explanation must have come to him. "Unless… was he… _helping_ you, Mommy?"

Her mind wandered for an instant again. _Yes, he was helping me all right… God, everyone needs to get to bed before I lose it! _She amended mentally, _To their _own_ beds!_

Clark spoke quickly and shook his head at Jason, a note of alarm in his voice. "No, Jason. The rain just caught us off guard." Clark's eyes were wide. Was he afraid Jason would intuit that there was a lot more going on here?

She tried to help it along. "Let's all go back to bed, okay? I think the worst of the storm is over. We can talk more in the morning." Lois leaned over and kissed Jason on the cheek. "You've got school tomorrow, and I don't want your teachers to tell me you fell asleep in class!" She smiled, and teased gently, "Again."

He smiled finally, and gave her a kiss in return. "Okay, Mommy. Goodnight, Mister Clark." He granted an even wider smile to his babysitter. "I had fun tonight." He held out his arms for a hug.

Clark gave him a quick hug, careful not to get Jason wet, and murmured, "Me too." He winked at Jason, who giggled. _Wow,_ Lois thought._ They must have really bonded tonight…_

When Jason was safely behind the closed door of the spare room, Clark turned to her again, worry painting his expression. "Lois, there's something you—"

She cut him off. "Whatever it is, can it wait?" She needed to get _some_ sleep, and the longer she spent around Clark, looking like _that_, the harder it was going to be. "We should have plenty of time tomorrow."

Her firm look must have persuaded him. "All right, Lois. Until tomorrow." He stepped close to her, and placed a chaste kiss on her parted lips. Even that little taste was absolutely intoxicating. Pulling away reluctantly, he added, "I'll get you a dry shirt. Unless you want me to…" Clark trailed his gaze from head to foot, mimicking the way he had warmed her with his heat vision in the Fortress.

Her throat nearly closed up, and she choked out, "No! I mean, a dry shirt will be fine." _Lord in heaven, if he did that, how would I ever sleep?_

He nodded, a gleam in his eye. The man couldn't read minds, but that one look told her he understood her reasoning. He quietly left the room, and she let out a heavy breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

What a long night it was going to be…

* * *

Lois opened her eyes to dim light filtering through the vertical blinds. Somehow she had finally drifted off. The dreams she had experienced, though vivid, were already slipping away from her. All she could remember was a wash of silver…

She realized that it wasn't the light that had awakened her. She could hear the sound of sizzling, and the smell of home cooking filled her nostrils. Sitting up on her elbows, she could now see Clark, dressed in a different set of pajamas, thankfully this time with a robe over it, standing at the stovetop. He was facing her, the counter and kitchen table between them, but he was looking down at what he was doing instead of up at her.

She took that moment to observe him. His hair was still mussed from sleeping, and he wore his bedclothes with an easy grace that was difficult to describe. Considering she had really mostly seen him in either tight-fitting spandex or ill-fitting suits, this was a very nice change. He was humming softly as he worked to make them breakfast.

Then a small grin spread across his face, and Lois realized that maybe he hadn't been completely unaware that she was now awake. "Good morning," he said in a pleasant rumble, not looking up. "How do you like your eggs?"

She sat up, and stretched. "Over-hard," she answered, throwing back the covers. "You can cook, too?"

He finally looked straight at her, and melted her with his azure gaze. "Mrs. Kent raised her boy right. She always told me that 'Everything worth doing is worth doing well.' Cooking was no exception."

_My, oh, my_. Lois stood and stretched again, then padded quietly to the table. Another oversized robe was waiting for her across an armchair, and she snagged it on the way past. Slipping her arms through the wide sleeves, Lois stopped dead on seeing the table. A feast for at least ten people was laid out: coffee, croissants, fruit, juice, bacon, sausage, and a tall stack of…

"Blueberry pancakes!" Jason called out delightedly as he entered the room. "You remembered!"

"How could I forget?" Clark said with a laugh. "You only mentioned it about twenty times yesterday."

Richard was a pretty good cook, which had been useful considering Lois had no talent for it whatsoever, but to have another man excel at it, too? She slid a chair out, and sat at the table beside Jason, who was already helping himself. "So were you expecting the whole office over today?" she teased.

He came around the corner of the countertop and slid her eggs from the pan to her plate. "I didn't know what you might like to eat for breakfast, so I thought, better safe than sorry."

"Well, thank you. I usually don't eat more than an energy bar and a tall coffee… but it's nice every once in a…" A thought struck her, and she turned frantically toward Jason, who was already stuffing his mouth with a large piece of blueberry pancake. "Jason!" she shouted, almost knocking over the cup of coffee beside her plate in her haste to stop him.

Her son swallowed, and smiled broadly. "It's okay, Mommy. I'm not allergic anymore."

"What?" she said shakily, still expecting Jason to go into anaphylactic shock at any moment.

Clark was at her shoulder, trying to steady her. "We tried several different kinds of foods last night, Lois. I think he's… outgrown his food allergies."

"Isn't it great?" Jason said happily. "I tried peanut butter, and ice cream, and hamburger, and…" He went on with a long list, which generally went over Lois' head in her astonishment.

She turned her furious eyes on Clark, who gave her a pleading look. "I thought it wouldn't hurt to try." He added much more softly, "Don't be mad, Lois… I knew I could get him help if anything bad happened. I was monitoring him closely."

For some reason, though she should be livid, her flash of fear and anger subsided. After all, this was exactly why she needed Clark's help with Jason now. His body must be changing, and who better to determine that than his father?

Jason finished his incredible list of new foods he'd tried, and put another bite of pancake in his mouth, closing his eyes with pleasure at the taste. "Mm. These are good," he said, food obscuring his words.

Lois couldn't even correct his table manners; she was just amazed that this period of her son's life was over. Would he no longer need his medicines either? She helped herself to a pancake, drizzled a little syrup over the top, and cut a triangle out to place in her mouth. The instant it touched her taste buds, the fluffy pancake melted in her mouth, and a still-crisp blueberry burst open, coating her tongue with sweetness. "Oh, my God, Clark… these are sensational!"

Sitting in the chair across from her, he smiled proudly. "If you think these are good, you should taste my mother's pancakes." He took a sip of coffee. "I learned from the best."

_Thank goodness _one_ of us can cook…_ she thought, still savoring the taste of the pancake. _But I'm going to have to watch my weight even more closely!_

Jason dug into his breakfast with gusto, sampling everything on the table. Clark and Lois ate in silence, observing each other longingly across the table. He was so damn sexy, sitting there with a contented smile, his family around him at last. Even if it wasn't official yet, she knew he must be enjoying every stolen moment.

He broke the intense eye contact, glancing over at Jason again, and seemed to remember something. "Uh, Lois… I need to tell you something…" His eyes dropped and it looked like he was gathering his courage. "Last night…"

She jerked her head toward their five-year old, who was deeply interested in cutting a link of sausage apart. _What could he be thinking? Jason is right here! _"Yes?" she said sweetly, hoping he would get the hint.

Clark shook his head slightly, indicating that what he was going to say was fit for Jason's ears. "Last night, Jason and I…" But he suddenly stiffened, back straightening, half-rising from his chair. It was a look she was learning well, the 'I-have-to-go-save-someone' look. "I… I need to—"

"Go to the grocery store?" she supplied quickly. "You must have used up most of your refrigerator preparing this feast."

Clark looked back and forth strangely between Jason and Lois, trying to decide what to do.

"No, Mommy. He probably just needs to go help someone," Jason said with incredible nonchalance.

Lois' mouth dropped open. She looked at her son, who had said the words completely matter-of-factly, over to his father, who was smiling awkwardly, almost fearfully.

"What?" Jason said, not understanding what was passing between the adults. "Mister Clark, I thought you said that Mommy knew?"

She recovered enough to say, "I do…" Then she pierced Clark with a frosty 'we're-going-to-have-words-about-this-mister' kind of look, and said, "Go!" She shooed him with an impatient wave of her wrist.

He smiled apologetically, and started to head for the bedroom. Then he seemed to decide that was unnecessary. In a blur of color, he was standing before them in his red and blue uniform. Even annoyed as she was, his rapid transformation took her breath away. He nodded regally once, and was suddenly gone, vertical blinds rattling in his wake. Amazingly, the sliding glass door was shut behind him, though the plants on the balcony were swaying with the sudden breeze.

Jason was smiling widely again. He seemed completely unfazed by the huge revelation that must have occurred between them last night. "Isn't that cool?"

He had _certainly_ not inherited that calm acceptance from her. She sighed, only able to nod. Last night had been momentous for all of them, it seemed! "How… How did you find out?" she asked, trying not to seem upset.

"Oh… I asked him," Jason said with a shrug and a swig of milk.

"You… asked him?" she said incredulously. "And he told you? Just like that?"

He thought for a moment. "He didn't want to… but then I told him about the time at your work, where I saw him standing next to a picture of Superman on TV. He looked exactly the same, just with glasses and different clothes."

Lois smirked a little. Leave it to her own son to see through Clark's façade before any of the adults around him.

"But there were a few times it didn't make sense. Like… why did everybody else think he was just Clark? And how could he save himself?" Jason got a proud grin on his face as he finished, "And so I asked him 'Are you Superman?' again. And he can't lie, so he had to tell me."

Lois didn't know how to feel. Should she be annoyed that Clark had told the truth of his identity so easily to their son, an innocent child, while he guarded it so carefully from everyone else? Or should she feel touched that Clark was finally able to be honest with his own flesh and blood? Or should she feel proud that her little investigative reporter had figured it out? Or worried that Jason would share what he knew with the wrong person?

She decided that she felt a little bit of all of these emotions. "What else did he tell you?" With Clark gone, Jason was her only source of information, even if the story was going to be a little one-sided.

"He told me… um… that Superman was his job, kind of like being a reporter is his other job. People wouldn't understand that he needs to do both. Oh… and don't tell _anyone_, 'cause only you know about it, Mommy."

"And what about Daddy?" she asked in a very serious tone.

"He said not _anyone_, not even Daddy. It's very important to keep it just between us. You, me and Mister Clark." He frowned for a moment. "Why _can't_ we tell Daddy?"

He looked so puzzled, so uncomprehending. Why they couldn't tell Richard, the _full_ truth, suddenly pressed strongly on her heart. Jason needed to know what was going on… but to tell him, right here, right now, on a Friday morning before he went to school… _"Your daddy and I have split up. We won't be living together anymore. And guess what? I'm in love with your real father, who happens to be Superman. So now you can kinda see why all these strange things are happening to you? Anyway, have a good day at school!" _No mother could be so cruel as to do that to her son and then kiss him goodbye for the day.

She and Richard needed to figure out where they stood, and try to break the news to him gently. And the whole Superman issue would open a _huge_ can of worms. Kryptonite-infested worms. It would take two seconds – _less_ – for Richard to figure out what was going on if Jason so much as _breathed_ the news about Clark being Superman. _Oh, God…_

But she had to tell him some reason. And a reason closest to the truth was best. "We can't tell Daddy… yet. This is Mister Clark's secret to tell. He gets to decide when we tell Daddy. Not me, not you. Okay?"

She could see Jason puzzle that out in his child's mind and come to a decision. "Okay, Mommy. But I hope he tells Daddy soon."

Lois nodded once, but didn't speak. She was afraid she might say the wrong thing.

During their conversation, Jason had finished everything on his plate. He set his fork down and bounced a little on his chair. "Do you know what the _coolest_ part of last night was? Mister Clark… I mean, Superman… took me flying!"

_Flying? _Her eyebrows rose. It didn't matter that she hadn't been around to ask, to consult…

Jason continued excitedly. "It was great! He took me all over Metropolis! To the ocean, over the trees, up to the top of the highest buildings!" At her slight grimace, he tried to assure her, "Don't worry, Mommy! He was very careful. He said, 'Your mom will kill me if I let you fall.'" Jason giggled.

_Got that right, Clark…and you know that only_ I_ know where I buried that kryptonite, don't you?_ But Lois couldn't be that unfair to him, even in her thoughts. Jason was his son as much as hers, and he loved Jason with an intensity equal to the love he had for her, if not more. He would never let any harm come to the boy.

"He was right, kiddo." She ruffled his unruly hair, causing him to giggle harder. Then she asked him honestly, "Did he tell you that he's taken me flying a few times?" She could completely understand his excitement.

"Yeah. That's why I knew everything would be okay."

Lois smiled. Of course it was okay. "What else did you do?"

"We talked about a lot of stuff. He told me that when he was a little boy, he didn't understand why he was different. Why he could do things no one else could. But his mommy and daddy told him he was special… and that they loved him very much." He looked into her eyes, expression the very picture of Clark's. "Just like what you said, Mommy. Mist—Superman thinks I'm special, too."

It was all she could do not to cry. She pulled him into a warm hug. "You are, Jason. You are _very_ special. Don't you ever forget that."

Into her chest, Jason said, "He said he was going to help me, just like you said he would."

Lois suddenly had a thought. "Would you like to stay another night here? Mister Clark and I still have a lot of work to do, and it will be easier if we all stay over again."

He pulled away and nodded up at her eagerly. "But what about Daddy?"

"You'll see him on the weekend. I promise. Now run along and get dressed… we've got to get you to school soon."

Jason lightly hopped off of the chair, and practically skipped into the spare bedroom to change. She watched him go with a mixture of pain and hope. He was so happy right now. So fond of 'Mister Clark.' But when he learned about all the changes that were about to happen in his young life…

She walked over to her purse, and took out her cell phone, and turned it on. Thank God she kept a spare set of clothes in the trunk of her car, for those emergencies when a story kept her out overnight. But she had one more order of business before work.

Flipping open the phone, she looked at the call list. She selected the number at the top, and punched the Call button.

"_Hello, Lois?"_ Richard answered, sounding weary and anxious. _"Where the hell are you?"_

"I'm at Clark's. I'm taking Jason to school this morning." She conveniently left out the fact that she'd stayed here all night. "Can you meet me at the Starbucks down the street from the _Planet_ in about an hour? I owe you an explanation."

**A/N: So many tidbits of this chapter are due to hilarious/insightful email, ff net PM and LJ conversations. Thank you especially to bistyboo1974, ColtDancer, Alamo Girl, earlgrayhot, ancarett, Mark C and betty brant.**


	23. Chapter 23: Issues

Déjà Vu

Chapter 23: Issues

Lois didn't know how long she stood there, observing him through the wide windows. Richard sat in profile to her, glancing frequently down the street toward the _Daily Planet_ building. She had parked on the other side of the Starbucks, hoping to arrive ahead of Richard, but she had failed. There had been traffic, and she supposed she could have used the 'Superman Express' – but she didn't really feel right doing that… And so now she stood just outside, her feet frozen to the sidewalk…

_Come on, Lane, you can do it,_ she encouraged herself, although she wasn't completely sure that she _could_ do it. _Maybe we could just disappear – who needs passports and papers when you can fly? Jason would enjoy seeing the world…_

It was a measure of her nervousness that she was actually having these thoughts at all. Just because she was known as fearless didn't mean that she didn't feel fear. She usually ignored it because her insatiable curiosity and need to _get the story_ had always been far stronger.

Richard glanced at his watch, checking for the umpteenth time. It was probably only a few minutes past the time she said she would meet him, but he had been checking it since she had been standing there… Finally, he glanced in her direction, and she started guiltily. That small movement got her feet going, though. She pushed through the doors with a fresh sense of determination.

Her ex-fiancé half-rose from his chair in deference, but she waved him down, pulling out the chair and sitting. "Hi." She didn't meet his gaze as she settled her purse and bag beside her. When she finally looked up into his face, the haggard but unflinching look in his eyes nearly caused her to stagger in her seat.

"Good morning, Lois." He gestured toward the steaming cup of coffee in front of her, a cappuccino prepared exactly as she liked it.

"Thank you," she said gratefully, taking a careful sip. Still hot. So he had obviously not been waiting long. At the coffee shop, at least.

Richard remained silent, watching her intently. He was clearly waiting for her to begin the conversation.

So she swallowed thickly. Again, she plucked up her courage. "Richard, it was wrong of me to just run out on you like that, and I'm sorry."

He nodded, seemingly calm. But his cloudy eyes made reading his mood difficult.

"I realized very suddenly that it was over. I still love you, Richard, but…" She was reluctant to go into any further detail. There was too much at stake. "I didn't want to commit to something that we would both later regret."

He remained impassive. Was there bleak acceptance behind that mask? Simmering anger? Despair?

She tentatively reached out to touch his hand where it rested on the table. "This is going to be very hard on Jason. He needs to know that we both still love him, and that none of this is his fault. I hope that you'll help me explain things to him."

In a very low voice, he finally responded. "Explain what? That we're splitting up?"

She began to reply, but he cut in before she could even utter a sound.

"Or that he's not my son?" He grew louder, and a bitter tone infused his voice. "That you're trading me in for his 'real dad'?"

"Richard… I…" she tried to interject, but he plowed on.

"Or are you going to ask me to help you explain the _real_ reason all these strange things have happened to him?" Richard's voice was beginning to carry. "Am I even necessary? You might as well ask S—"

"Richard!" she hissed, cutting him off. "Keep your voice down!" They were regular customers here. She was famous enough by her own merits that people could recognize her by sight. And her association with Superman had made her even more famous.

A woman sitting behind Richard turned curiously toward their table. Lois gave her a pointed look, and the woman bent over her Frappuccino in embarrassment, deep brown hair covering her face.

Richard quieted down, but the blaze of anger in his eyes dimmed not at all. "Cut the bullshit, Lois. You know that I love Jason, and I would do anything for him. Don't gloss over the _real_ issue here… you left me for…" he struggled with not saying the exact word, "…_him_."

She should have known that her tepid explanation wouldn't satisfy him. But what could she tell him that wouldn't compromise Clark's secret? She matched Richard's hushed volume. "Richard… I can't talk about it…"

"And why not?" he grated. "You promised me an _explanation_. Tell me, Lois. Did you run straight into his arms last night?"

She blushed deep red, taken aback by the venom in his voice. During their time together, Richard had always been so supportive of her, had even let her take the lead in their relationship most of the time… This was going to take some getting used to.

Again, she found herself unable to say anything more than, "I…"

He pressed on with his quiet tirade. "Where does he even live, some sort of space station? Watching over us like a god?"

"No! He doesn't! It's not like that at all…" She trailed off again.

His eyes narrowed. "So you _do_ know where he lives. It didn't take you long to find out, did it?"

Richard had every right to be angry, but enough was enough. Her back straightened, and she matched his tone with a fire of her own. "_Nothing_ has happened between us. Nothing _ever_ happened while I was engaged to you. How dare you even _suggest_ it?" she spat. "We have more respect for you, and for Jason than that."

At her words, a look of hurt came into his eyes. As insistent as he was about learning whether she had really decided to pursue a relationship with Superman, it still pained him to hear it again. He began to speak in a lower voice. "How much do you really know about him, Lois? What kind of life could you really have with him? And Jason, too?" He leaned closer to her. "How can he do any of the things a normal dad needs to do? He can't take him to the doctor, bring him along to work, go to piano recitals… You'll essentially be a single parent, with him off saving the world all the time."

She suppressed the urge to argue with him. Of course Clark could do all those things with Jason, just not while he was 'on the job.' But Richard obviously saw Superman as a being who was off 'saving the world,' as he said, 24/7. It would be much simpler to let him keep believing that.

"We'll be fine," she said stubbornly.

"And how do you know he won't disappear again? He left you, pregnant and alone five years ago without so much as a 'by your leave.' Have you suddenly forgotten that?" Worry slid across his face. "Does he have some sort of mental hold on you?"

She let out a mirthless laugh at the last part, but rose to defend her beloved. "You don't know anything at all about what really happened, Richard…"

"Because you never told me!" he interrupted fiercely.

"He didn't _know_ about Jason when he left. Hell, _I_ didn't know. We never could have guessed that we were even compatible…" She shook her head, and continued sadly, "I am so sorry this happened. If I had known, I would never have led you to believe he was your son. But you have to see how dangerous it would be for anyone to find out whose son he really is," she pleaded.

He softened for a moment. "Oh, I understand. I understand very well." Then his voice strengthened again. "And being with him will subject the both of you to that danger every moment! At least with me, the only father Jason's ever _known_, he would be safe from that. Could you live with yourself if anything happened to him?" _How can you be so selfish_? were the words he left unsaid.

Of course Richard was right about the danger, and Luthor was proof of that. But her eyes blazed in response. Lois held his gaze with firm determination, willing him to see just how serious she was.

He let out a heavy breath. "I can see there's no arguing with you about this, Lois. You've made your decision, and you'll stick with it. I know you well enough to know that."

"I have," she said quietly.

"And if you can't stay with me, then so be it. I'll help you tell Jason."

"Thank you," she said, relieved.

"But," he continued, his eyes turning hard, "I think you are making a big mistake. I can't bear to see you… and Jason… in such an uncertain and dangerous situation. I care about you too much."

He looked back at her with matching determination, and a chill went through her. She had tried to give away as few details as possible, to try to draw his attention away from the possibility of Superman having another identity…

An anxious knot began in her stomach. Richard rose, picked up his briefcase, and looked down at her before heading toward the door. "Whatever I can do to convince you of that… I will. See you at the _Planet_, Lois."


	24. Chapter 24: Worry

Déjà Vu

Chapter 24: Worry

As Lois watched Richard push his way through the doors leading out of the coffee shop, her head was swimming. _I knew this conversation was going to be tough, but oh, my God! Now he's going to try to convince me I'm making a mistake?_

Lois had worked beside him long enough to know what that probably meant. Time spent digging into Superman's past… into proving that he was unfit for fatherhood… What if he accidentally stumbled on the truth… and told his…?

She bolted out of her chair, leaving her cappuccino nearly untouched. She couldn't even spare more than a passing thought that their very messy break-up had likely been noted by the other customers. She had to catch Richard!

When Lois reached the street, she saw Richard's figure about a block or two ahead of her. Unconcerned with her dignity, she hopped out of her heels and began to jog down the street. Thank God the long, stretchy microfiber skirt she'd kept in her trunk was easy to move in!

Lois raced across the crosswalk just as the light turned, barely reaching the other side before the traffic started up again. Clark would certainly be annoyed at having to save her from something as inane as that, she mused absently. Richard was now only a few steps from the revolving doors.

"Richard!" she called out. He mustn't have heard – or was he ignoring her? "Richard!" she tried again in her most strident reporter's voice.

He stopped and turned, and she hurried toward him, replacing her heels along the way.

He gave her a flat look. "Yes?"

Lois gestured for him to stand with her away from the doors. She gasped to catch her breath before saying, "Please don't say anything to Perry… about me and you-know-who."

"Why not?" He gave her a grim smile. "Are you afraid he'll rake you over the coals? The Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist who held onto the story of a lifetime?"

She huffed, irritated. "I didn't hold onto—" Lois growled, low in her throat. "It's just complicated, okay?"

He held her gaze, unruffled. "Exactly what I was saying. Complicated. Do you really want that for yourself? For Jason?"

"Just… please." She tried not to beg, pride filling her voice. "If you care about us at all… don't say anything."

Richard shook his head gently, offended. "Lois… you know I never would have. I'm surprised you even have to ask."

She opened her mouth to protest, but shut her mouth, a bit ashamed. She simply nodded.

It would have been silly for the two of them to avoid going up to the bullpen in the same elevator – they were both adults, after all. But even so, they stood a careful few feet apart, completely silent. He suddenly seemed like a stranger to her.

Entering the newsroom this morning with Richard felt like a complete contrast to walking into it a few afternoons ago with Clark. That day, she had been certain every eye would be drawn to them, somehow knowing their changed status after their visit to the Fortress. But no one had paid them any attention.

This morning, however, although she wished no one would notice them, it seemed everyone's gaze was directed at the two of them. Was it the fact that Lois wasn't striding in, talking animatedly? That Richard wasn't laughing fondly? Could every person feel the tension that radiated off them in waves? Maybe not, but it certainly felt like it.

Richard peeled off for his office and Lois walked rapidly, eyes down, to her own desk. She was afraid that if she looked up at anyone, her careful façade of calm would crack. She wanted so badly to look at Clark's desk, to see that goofy wave and bright smile… but she was certain the blaze of love she was now feeling would show too strongly on her face.

How was she going to handle this? Being so close to him every day and night without being able to show him outwardly how she felt? Lois had never been very demonstrative, the opposite, actually… but, even so, having to suppress her feelings was going to be torture!

Lois sat down, arranged her things and took a deep, calming breath, which then turned into a yawn. _Why did I leave that cappuccino sitting there? _Then she very carefully chanced a look at Clark's desk. To see those mud-brown slacks and jacket, that wide, old-fashioned tie, those silly thick, black frames on his face – it would be a welcome sight….

…And he was nowhere to be seen. She wilted a little.

Jimmy was sitting a few desks over, flipping through shots on his computer screen. "Hey, Jimmy? Have you seen Clark around yet this morning?"

He started awkwardly at the sound of her voice and scanned the room. "Uh… no. I don't think so. Why?"

_So I can caress him with my eyes, so that I can let that cerulean gaze heal me with its power…_ She shivered slightly. "I want to go over our notes together with him before this morning's meeting." Well, they _did_ have a meeting with Perry this morning, that much was true at least.

"Oh, well, I'm sure he'll show up in the nick of time," Jimmy shrugged, turning back to his work.

She glanced up at the row of television monitors. Nothing on the news reporting a Superman sighting. But of course, he performed all kinds of unreported deeds. Thank goodness. If anyone actually tried to track him all hours of the day, it would be a nightmare for him.

So it looked like she would be on her own for a little while. "Don't forget the meeting, Clark," she murmured both to herself and to her busy partner. She suddenly wondered – now that he didn't have to make excuses to her for his absences, would they become more frequent? She sighed.

Rubbing her eyes tiredly, Lois searched her messy desk for the files she needed. She'd hardly gotten more than a few hours sleep what with worry over Richard's reaction competing with vivid fantasies of Clark in those wet pajamas. Shaking her head to clear it, and blinking in an effort to focus, she began going through the notes they had collected thus far on the building construction case.

Clark had discovered that the Harris building, as well as several others recently built in Metropolis had used substandard materials in their construction. Was it true? Yes. Did they have enough data to prove there was some sort of scandal? Not really. And most of these had been contracts handled by L & V Construction. But was there any connection to Lex Luthor? None that they could find. Did Philip Mitchener, the deputy mayor, have any involvement in what his company had done? Maybe, but then he must be either an incredible liar or completely unaware.

Lois wondered if any of the people she had contacted yesterday afternoon had called and left messages at the _Planet_. Sadly, no. She was suddenly hit by a wave of weariness and frustration. It looked like Perry would be pulling them from the story after all. Clark's hastily written interview with Mitchener had run in the morning edition. They had come to a dead end in their investigation, but Lois just had a gut feeling that there was something more here. Maybe she should have another go at the archives…

* * *

Lois found herself blindly searching through the stacks. With no help from Clark, this was a considerably more daunting task. But she vaguely remembered the last edition she had been searching was from May of 1991. As a result, she was leafing through every copy in the May file box.

Behind her, Lois heard the door open. "Lois?"

Coming through the door into the dim room was the very welcome form of Clark. She had to restrain herself from throwing herself into his arms right then and there. It was barely 10AM, and she felt like she had been run over by a city bus and then hit by a pack of motorcyclists for good measure.

He must have sensed it, because he was at her side in an instant. "Are you doing okay?"

"Now I am," she said, and allowed herself to wrap her arms around his waist.

He stroked her hair gently. "Did you have any luck in here?"

She looked up into his soft blue eyes, frowning. "No. I think this is it. The end of the line. A brick wall." She chuckled, "Although my head hurts like I've been hitting it against that brick wall all morning."

Without speaking, he began to rub her temples. It was quite amazing, a man who could lift entire continents could control his touch so minutely. She exhaled in pleasure. It was easy to forget, in this enclosed space, that there was anyone else at all in the building.

Clark ended his massage – could he tell that her headache was fading somehow with his X-ray vision? – and began to tenderly caress her cheek. Lois closed her eyes, reveling in the sensation.

Which abruptly ceased. "Clark, don't stop…" she complained breathlessly, and then she was unable to speak any longer as he captured her lips with his own.

Alone finally, shut away from the rest of the office, away from the eyes of innocent little boys who would not understand, they let themselves feel everything. It was not yet time to be doing this, and they both knew it, but they couldn't help the wave of overwhelming emotion that suddenly washed over them.

Never breaking contact, Clark lifted her to sit on the wooden desk set in one wall, so that she wouldn't have to crane her neck so much to kiss him. Lois leaned backward into the wall and pulled him toward her roughly, running her hands over his broad shoulders. He responded by pushing a powerful thigh to part her knees. The comfortable skirt she wore easily crinkled into folds to the sides, exposing her bare lower legs. One of Clark's strong hands slipped beneath the fabric of her blouse to stroke her back…

The door suddenly opened again. A voice broke them apart, thick with shock. "Lois?" Both Lois and Clark were too stunned to speak. Richard looked even more stunned, if it was possible.

He turned to look at her partner. "Clark…?" Richard said, even more confused than before.

Then his face cleared, and his expression changed completely. "No. Superman."

* * *

"Lois?"

A hand on her shoulder startled her awake from a light doze. The papers she had been studying were scattered across her desk as if dropped from the sky. She reeled with the power of the images and feelings she had just experienced. She clutched at Clark's warm hand as though it were a lifeline, touching it to make certain it was real...

"Are you doing okay?" he asked, a perfect echo of the dream.

Lois rubbed a hand across her face in exhaustion. "Not really," she said shakily.

Clark pulled a chair to sit next to her. She finally looked into his face. The love that he once had kept carefully hidden was now shining brightly from his eyes. Clark took both her hands and clasped them gently in his own. "When I came in, you looked so pale, and out of it… it didn't go well, I take it."

She gave him an ironic smile. "What do _you_ think?" Lois squeezed his hands once and let go, even though she desperately wanted to hold them for as long as possible. But the dream she'd just had was still strong in her mind. It wouldn't do for anyone to suspect anything more than a professional relationship between them.

He locked gazes with her, a touch of that healing she had wished for earlier warmed her deeply from within. And then—

"Lane! Kent! In my office!"

Clark chuckled in his rich baritone, "I _think_ it's time for our meeting."

Lois smiled in response. There would be time to rehash all the gory details later. She grabbed the most important items off of her desk, and announced, "In we go."

Lois gestured for him to precede her, and followed him. Just as she caught the door marked 'Editor in Chief' in her free hand, she happened to glance back. Richard was standing in the door of his office, brow furrowed, apparently gazing in her direction. His expression cleared, and he went back to his desk. Had he been… watching them?

**A/N: I would like to dedicate this chapter to Alphie. I couldn't help but do my own version of your lovely _What Dreams Are Made Of._**

**Also, I think I would like to devote my author's notes for the rest of Act III to shout-outs and recommendations. If you are a Clois shipper, and like Smallville, please check out my friend Mark C's lighthearted story _Five Card Stud_. (You can find him in my favorites).**


	25. Chapter 25: Duality

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 25: Duality

The two men to either side of her were obviously speaking, but all of it seemed muffled, like sound underwater. Lois blinked her eyes rapidly trying to focus, trying to wake up. But the combination of her worry over Richard's next move and that incredibly vivid dream…

Even now, she could feel the ghost of Clark's hands on her body, and the palpable shock of Richard walking in on them. _Thank goodness it _was_ only a dream! Or thank goodness that last part was…_ she thought, sparing a glance at her secret love. She wondered when she would be able to tell Clark exactly what had happened at the coffee shop. He had barely returned before they had been called into their meeting with Perry. But it looked like it would have to wait. Clark was earnestly trying to explain to Perry why they should be allowed to continue on the L & V investigation.

"…especially with the widespread damage throughout the city. We, uh, made a list of all of the properties, cross-checking them against our list of construction companies." Clark looked over at her, nervous about her strange silence, and then continued. "Just about all of the most heavily damaged ones were originally handled by L & V in the last few years. Of course not all of them were, but…"

Perry cut him off impatiently. "I know all of this, Kent. But have you found any more evidence to help prove that this is more than an unfortunate coincidence?"

Clark looked at their editor-in-chief wordlessly. This time, Lois knew it was no act. She jumped in, finally shaking off her inertia. "I'm _sure_ it's no coincidence, Chief." Perry pierced her with an annoyed look. "Perry. Look, first of all, how likely _is _it that all of these projects by the same company would be affected? The other companies involved had only a few buildings each. And most were much older, standing ten years or more. Second, Superman himself told us his suspicions about the shoddy materials…"

"There you go again with 'Superman told us.' What _exactly_ did he tell you?"

Lois allowed Clark to explain. "He… Superman… scanned each of the buildings in question and determined that the concrete used was less dense than it should be." As he spoke, his demeanor grew increasingly more bold. "The foundations, the retaining walls… anywhere that concrete was used. As a result, the buildings were very unstable, and crumbled during the earthquake."

Lois shivered a little at his confident, dulcet voice. She could almost picture his regal bearing as he explained the situation. But then she looked fully at him, blinked and did a double-take. Clark had the same hunched posture, the same falsely high-pitched voice he had always used around the office. _Weird,_ she thought. _Amazing how my whole image of him has completely changed in a few short days…_

They were hoping that Superman's information would impress Perry enough to give them just a little more time to research Mitchener. They had been turning in related side-stories on the construction efforts: the original Harris Building collapse, the city's efforts in the disaster clean-up, the interview with Mitchener yesterday, but they didn't have that page one exclusive Perry craved… and she could see it in his stern, disappointed eyes.

"So what do you have on the sub-contractor who poured this faulty concrete?" Perry asked, quite logically.

Beside her, Clark stilled. Lois flushed. "Nothing yet…" How stupid of them to forget something so obvious! _You're no cub reporter, still wet behind the ears!_ she chided herself, face burning. _And you're not a totally self-involved boy-crazy teenager, either!_ she added, totally ashamed that her personal crises had interfered with her work. "I'm sorry; we've been too focused on…" She looked over helplessly at Clark. "…on Mitchener."

"Well, I would tell you to look into _that _instead…" Perry shook his head at them, clearly unimpressed. "But you already know it, and it's too late anyway." He came around to the front of the desk and leaned back against it, displeasure showing strongly on his face. "Lane, Kent – you two are off your game. Where's that remarkable team I remember so well?"

Perry's words made her want to leap up in angry defense… but he was absolutely right. Clark kept silent beside her. He knew it was true as well as she did.

Not getting any response from either of them, Perry let out a heavy breath. "Well, then. I said you had until today, and I meant it," he said with finality, walking back around to his chair. "So let's focus on something else…"

As Perry began to shuffle papers in a file folder on his desk, Lois turned to Clark and gazed into his deep blue eyes, drawn to the apology forming there. She felt just as sheepish, and furthermore, she was deeply upset that they hadn't been able to get to the bottom of the story. She started to mouth a simple _'Next time'_ around the lump forming in her throat, when Clark froze, eyes widening.

'_What is it?'_ she mouthed instead, but his eyes were focused unseeingly past her. His head snapped back, and he began to look frantically from side to side, searching for a way out of the room without raising suspicion.

"Chief," he said, a note of panicked apology in his voice, "I think I have to…"

Lois could clearly see his panic and agitation. Clark seemed totally wired, completely wound up and coiled inside like a tight spring, desperate to shoot into the air and go streaking off to some sort of crisis. She tried to help… "Yes, Clark, I think you should…" she said almost simultaneously, the words spilling out of her mouth, half-formed.

"Do what?" Perry asked, turning back to them, confused.

Before Perry could get an answer, Jimmy came bursting through the office door, out of breath. "Mr. White! There's been another building collapse on the West Side! A big one!"

Always cool in a crisis, Perry sprang into action, forgetting or ignoring their strange behavior. "All right. The three of you – get over there immediately. I want photos, interviews… Is Superman on the scene yet?"

"I don't think so," Jimmy said, looking down at the printout from the wire service he had in his hand.

"Go. Go!" He ushered them out brusquely with a push of his hands. Clark exhaled in painful relief.

Clark led the way through the bullpen, moving purposefully and quickly, seeming to barely control his haste. As Lois grabbed her purse from her desk along the way, she took a quick look at Richard in his office. He didn't seem to notice them; he seemed to be intensely focused on his computer monitor, hard at work. But she couldn't spare another thought for him…

..because Clark was already racing for the stairwell, Jimmy and Lois panting to catch up. By the time he was hailing a taxi, Lois began to worry. Was Clark going to actually ride with them all the way there, especially when he was needed so quickly? She started to open her mouth to make up an excuse…

"Oh, darn it!" Clark said mildly.

The cab came to a halt in front of them. "What?" Jimmy asked, as he joined them, panting and holding his side.

Clark shifted from foot to foot, looking embarrassed. "I wanted to take along my notes on our investigation, see if we can't make any connections between this disaster and one at the Harris Building earlier this week…"

"Yeah, go, Clark," she encouraged. "We'll meet you there." Lois slid into the backseat, nearly dragging Jimmy in with her before he could offer to wait for Clark. She waved goodbye perfunctorily, trying to behave as she had a million times before. "West 58th Street, please," she directed. "And hurry."

"Gonna take us a while, lady," the cabbie told them, pulling into the street. "Didn't you hear? Some big office building, Thorne Tower, just collapsed over there."

She barely resisted the urge to say, _That's why we're going there, Einstein._ But she'd learned early in her career not to antagonize taxi drivers, and if they were all going to be stuck in this car for a while, anyway… She gestured toward his radio, where a news station was playing at a low volume. "Could you turn that up, please?"

* * *

As Lois surveyed the devastation, she felt numb. Two paramedics passed close by them, bearing a stretcher between them. A sheet was covering the injured body, but a bloodied hand dangled limply over the edge… All around them, the air was filled with the sound of sirens, shouts and wails. This collapse was far worse than the one at the Harris Building earlier in the week. The disorientation she had felt earlier was totally gone. This was real, painful and raw.

It had taken their cab over an hour to get them close enough to even walk – traffic was hopelessly snarled in all directions. Their cabbie let them out at the last possible corner and made a quick U-turn. He obviously had no desire to be trapped there all day.

Fortunately, the authorities let the reporter and photographer through with very little hassle. They stayed out of the way of the EMTs and firefighters who were desperately searching for survivors. The building looked as if it had imploded from the inside – and now was a smoking pile of rubble, several stories high.

"I wonder if Clark will be able to get through all the traffic," Jimmy commented, snapping another photo.

Lois noticed a red and blue blur out of the corner of her eye. "I think he'll do the best he can."

Superman's form came to a rapid stop, and he seemed to scan beneath the rubble, looking for someone trapped there. Her gaze was naturally drawn to him. She had never been able to do anything but stare at his effortless grace since the first moment he had plucked her from the sky, saving her from an ignominious death.

He suddenly plunged into the jagged debris, tunneling downward at incredible speed. Moments later, he emerged, tenderly cradling the unconscious body of a young secretary, barely alive. Lois knew Superman was probably the only chance the trapped survivors had. It would have taken days for a normal rescue team to search the ruins of the building to find everyone trapped in the tiny air pockets created by the collapse.

As she watched him go into the depths of the destruction over and over again, Lois felt a fresh sense of amazement. She felt pride and anxious anticipation. But strangely, when she looked only at the costumed hero, she didn't feel the giddy infatuation she once had.

Lois did a mental double take. The revelation took her breath away, and she sank to the ground under its weight. She studied him again in her mind. Had she only loved the ideal of Superman in some sort of visceral way?

Her heart raced at what her mind was showing her. It was only now that she could see the man behind the hero, and conversely, the hero behind the man that she felt this passion, this yearning... Whether he was wearing the shield-emblazoned uniform, or the drab three-piece suit, his mission of truth and justice was the same, wasn't it? Her mind was spinning now. Could it be that once and for all she had fallen in love with the complete package?

The sight of bleeding victims and the sound of screams from family members newly arrived at the scene shook her from inner thoughts back to professional reality.

But the thoughts lingered. Superman, in his red cape and boots, was a new person to her. She had seen past the costume today and seen the man she loved – truly loved. Lois chuckled softly and shook her head. _So, Lois,_ she said silently to herself. _It took Clark Kent finally to get you over Superman!_

She turned away from the sight, knowing he would catch up with them after he had saved as many people as possible. Her job was to get a few interviews, discover what she could about how it had happened…

A few hours later, her recorder was filled to capacity; Jimmy had gone through several rolls of film as well as a memory card. Lois hadn't seen Clark for several minutes. She was about to search for him again, when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

Whirling on him in startlement, Lois put a hand to her chest. "Clark! There you are! What took you so long?"

He shrugged apologetically, covering his distress over the tragedy well. "The traffic was just terrible, you know? And then I had to come in from the opposite direction, and the blockades are just everywhere…"

Lois nodded, trying to keep an annoyed expression on her face for Jimmy's benefit. "And what was wrong with your cell phone _this_ time?"

"Well, Lois… um… the lines were all tied up. I tried… I really did…" He shifted nervously.

"That's okay, Clark," Jimmy consoled, trying to ease her wrath. It was sweet, if actually unnecessary. "We got plenty for Mr. White. I talked to one of my buddies who's a volunteer firefighter. He said Superman rescued over fifty people today. Did you find those notes you went back for?"

Interested, she turned back to Clark. How would he explain this?

To her surprise, he opened his shoulder bag and pulled out the file. "Here it is… but there's no mention of Thorne Tower in any of the research we've done." He took out the list of properties they had compiled. "I couldn't take the time to research the building's original contractor… I—I just took off as soon as I could."

"Maybe we can ask around here." But Lois really wanted to talk to Clark alone, and she couldn't do that with Jimmy around. "Jimmy, why don't you head back to the _Planet_ with those photos? We can finish up and meet with you after lunch."

Jimmy glanced at his watch, and jumped. "Oh, my gosh! I didn't realize it was past noon! I've got a meeting at one o'clock!" He tripped over his feet and stumbled backward and away, calling over his shoulder as he left. "See you guys later!"

"Well, he was easier to get rid of than I expected…" Lois commented as they watched the photographer break into a sprint for the subway station. She placed a hand on Clark's arm. "You did good work back there." She could feel his pleasant warmth radiating into her palm, and kept her hand there a little longer than necessary.

His voice shook as he answered her. "Thank you. There were a lot of people buried under the rubble. Thank God I was able to get here in time to save most of them…" His eyes grew haunted, probably thinking about the ones he had _not_ been able to save.

She gave his arm a comforting squeeze, and he smiled down at her gratefully. How she wanted to take him in her arms right then and there!

"So… Do you think Thorne Tower could be related to Mitchener or L & V in any way?"

Clark's eyes drifted upward, as if he were recalling something. "Just a moment…" He was quiet for a few more moments, and then shook his head. "No. There was no record of Thorne Tower in the files I scanned the other day."

_Wow. How nice it would be to have eidetic memory…_

"But I'm certain that the same concrete mix was used in the construction of this building, too. The chemical composition is almost identical, although this building seems older." Clark turned away from her, eyes moving across the face of the building. Then he began to walk rapidly, climbing over the rubble without so much as an explanation. Lois followed him awkwardly, wishing she had hiking boots on.

He stopped about fifty feet from the sidewalk, gazing downward. "Hey!" she chided when she drew near. "Spare a thought for the less talented…"

But he was intensely focused on something invisible to her human eyes. Breaking his gaze and checking cautiously to either side of them, he suddenly bent down and lifted a large, heavy section of wall to pull something from underneath – some sort of large marble plaque. Blowing off the dust, he showed it to her. It read:

_Thorne Tower. Designed and constructed by Ottman Enterprises, 1994._

Lois and Clark shared a gaze of complete bewilderment. If L & V Construction had been established in 2004, how could Mitchener or his company be involved in this collapse?


	26. Chapter 26: Giving

Déjà Vu

Chapter 26: Giving

Clark set the heavy piece of marble down gently and soundlessly, looking deeply disturbed. "This doesn't make sense at all." His brow furrowed, deep blue eyes seeming to intensify. "I was sure that the substandard concrete was the link between all of the L & V buildings. But this one is ten years older than any of them…"

Lois completed his thought, "And built long before the company existed. Or before Mitchener held public office."

He nodded shortly, and jerked his head to the side.

"What?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"Two police officers are doing a circuit of the building. We'd better get moving…" Without preamble, he placed his hands firmly around her arms. She clamped her mouth shut to keep from crying out in surprise as the world spun into a blur of motion… and they were suddenly standing in an alley across the street from the collapse.

Lois released a heavy breath and tried to get her bearings. What a way to avoid being caught!

"Sorry," he apologized, seeing how startled she was by their sudden movement. "There wasn't time. If I were still in uniform, I could have…" Clark trailed off as he watched another ambulance leave the scene, eyes dark with anguish.

As Superman, he seemed impervious to pain – but as Clark, the deep sorrow he must be feeling was etched strongly on his face. She reached for his hand, and squeezed it firmly. "You did everything you could."

He kept his eyes on the scene of destruction nearby, talking in a low, trembling voice. "So many died today, Lois. While I was scanning the rubble for survivors, I tried to put it out of my mind, to find every last heartbeat, no matter how faint… but when I located the last person… and all I saw were…" His voice breaking, he stopped, unable to speak the horrible thought aloud.

Lois moved closer to him, slipping an arm around his waist. Here, where the shadows of the tall buildings kept them out of sight of the main street, where most were focused on the disaster, she felt free to comfort him. He finally turned to her, brought his arms around her, and pulled her close. They stood like this for several minutes, Lois' head buried in his muscular chest, Clark's chin resting gently on her hair. Gradually his heartbeat slowed, and his breathing calmed, as he appeared to draw strength from their embrace.

While she was offering silent comfort, Lois felt another wave of realization slowly wash over her. _People think of Superman as this god-like being, powerful and unaffected by human troubles, aloof and set apart. But it's this very difference that makes him feel so alone. He left Earth in search of some connection to his past._ _And he discovered that he was indeed all alone, the Last Son of Krypton._

_But now he has Jason… and me. Finally, he has someone who can give back to him some small portion of all he has given to the world. _Lois hugged him tighter to her, willing a replenishing of his spirit.

"Thank you," he murmured into the crown of her head, and his warm breath sent a shiver down her spine. She resisted the urge to slip her hands beneath his suit coat…

Clark lifted his head, and looked down at her, regret in his eyes. "I need to go now… I have to help with the recovery of the bodies."

He began to pull away from her, but she held him fast. "No." Of course his super-strength would have made it easy to rush away, but her slight pressure must have been enough to stay him.

Clark looked confused and bit disturbed. "What?"

"You have better ways to spend your energy, Clark. Let the emergency workers handle it. This is a job for Clark Kent and Lois Lane… more than Superman."

Clark quietly stared back at her in surprise.

Lois pressed on, determined to give him a more constructive outlet for his talents. As horrible as this tragedy was, she needed to keep him from dwelling on it. "I think you… that _we_… could be of more help to the city if we can get to the bottom of why these buildings keep falling, and catch those responsible." She pulled Clark back into the light, and motioned across the street, voice growing stronger. Before he could protest that they _already_ had been trying to figure this out for _days_, she plunged on. "I know you said that the concrete used in this building and some of the other buildings was less dense. Could there be any _other_ reasons why this building fell?"

Clark's face took on a look of intense concentration. "Let's see… I never studied structural engineering, but I have done some casual reading on the subject…" At Lois' raised eyebrows, he added, "You know, to help with other disasters… there sure have been an awful lot of earthquakes since I donned the suit…" He turned his eyes thoughtfully on the scene again. "I guess there might be several factors. Maybe a lack of adequate rebar in the foundation's footings – Metropolis is not usually prone to earthquakes, so there wouldn't have been as much rebar to begin with and the company might have cut corners that way, thinking it wasn't necessary."

"That would make sense given the substandard concrete."

He nodded, but kept his gaze focused ahead of him. "It's also possible that there was improper backfilling of the soil – if it wasn't compacted properly or was poor material to begin with then the ground around the footings of the structure became unstable after the quake and caused the foundation to sink. Of course, that would aggravate a problem with the footings, and wouldn't be enough on its own."

"Yet another case of bad construction. Anything else?"

"Maybe a water leak? Although you would think they would have noticed the decrease in water pressure… It would have to be a big one, say, in the pipes coming into the building, not a leaky faucet. It would have helped wash away damaged material from the foundation, weakening it. That assumes that the footings were already damaged. It can be a problem on its own, but you usually have a huge sinkhole if that happens." He shook his head. "It's too hard to tell right now what it was, after the fact. The whole foundation is a mess, and most of the network of pipes is a hopeless snarl down there."

"That's good," Lois said, giving his arm a pat. "It could be any of those things, or none of them. But we've got some more specific information to work from now." Deep inside, Lois began to feel a fresh sense of determination. Through their investigation, they could prevent another tragedy from happening. "We've been focusing more on the buildings that fell after the quake… but what if we research the other buildings constructed by L & V, Ottman Enterprises and the rest? Maybe together we can narrow down which ones might have the same fatal flaws…"

The anguish cleared a little from Clark's face, and he straightened up. "I could call some of my contacts in engineering, when we get back to the _Planet_." Clark gave her a look of loving admiration. Lois felt relieved, seeing her words seem to strengthen his spirit.

"Speaking of which, we should really get back." Lois raised her hand to make a swooping gesture, but then stopped mid-swoop. Not this time. She took a few more steps onto the sidewalk to determine which way would be the easiest. "Traffic is horrible in all directions… want to walk?"

"We don't have to do that, you know," he reminded her gently.

"I know, but… It'll look strange if we get back to the _Planet_ before Jimmy does… and I have a few things I need to talk to you about anyway." She held out her hand to him, inviting him to take a break from duty.

Clark smiled suddenly and nodded. He took her hand, squeezing it tenderly before dropping it. With a start, Lois realized they couldn't be seen even holding hands, not yet. The disappointment in Clark's eyes mirrored her own as they started down the street.

After they had cleared the main danger zone, and threaded their way past the barricades, Clark broke the silence. "Actually, I really like to walk. It often helps me clear my head, keep things in perspective."

"Really?" she asked, surprised. "I would think you would want to get as far away from the hustle and bustle of the city as possible."

His lips quirked in a half-smile. "I do that too, going high into the atmosphere. But sometimes being right in the thick of humanity recharges me as much as the sun does." His smile grew to full blinding strength as he added, "And being around the people I love helps as well."

She blushed. Why did she suddenly feel so shy? But his words reminded her of the main reason they needed to talk. "Clark…"

"Yes, Lois?"

"Richard knows why I left him now… and who I left him for."

This time, Clark looked surprised. "Who…?"

Just as she began to respond, _Superman_, they moved into a crowded group of working people heading for lunch. She lowered her voice. "Your alter ego."

"But that makes things—"

"Really complicated, I know." His lips compressed in concern, but she kept talking afraid he would chasten her. "Clark, he's had me figured out from the get go. You hadn't been back even a day before he asked me if I loved you."

Somehow Clark didn't seem surprised. He looked away, ashamed.

"You already knew that? But how?" Lois asked, confused.

"Um…" She could tell he didn't want to tell her, but was trying to be as honest as possible in the light of their burgeoning new relationship. "I watched the conversation."

"Watched it…?" She suddenly realized what he meant, and instead of being angry at his invasion of her privacy, as she might have been just a few days ago, she laughed. "I think that 'S' will always have more than one meaning for me now."

He looked even more ashamed, somehow. She bit back any further teasing. "I was desperate to know what you thought about me… I'm sorry."

"If I had…" she made a signal with her fingers from her eyes to refer to his X-ray vision – there were still people walking around them on all sides, "the things I would have done…" She patted his arm. "But back to the point. Richard guessed Jason was yours, and accused me of running into your arms last night… which I obviously did…" She shook her head tiredly. "I kind of expected all of that. But what worries me more is that he questions our safety with you. He believes you won't be able to be the kind of father Jason needs."

"He has a good point," Clark said in a small voice.

"Stop that!" she chided him, suddenly fiery. "You think so little of yourself sometimes! Richard doesn't know what he's talking about. He sees only the untouchable hero… not the reality of the man underneath."

"So, he doesn't suspect…"

"That there's a secret identity? No." They had reached the nearest subway entrance, and she moved a little ways from the staircase. "But I'm worried that in his quest to dissuade me, he'll figure it out."

Clark's eyebrows raised. "To dissuade you?"

"He thinks I am making a mistake, and promised me he'd find a way to convince me of it."

"Oh, dear."

"So, I can see only a couple of options here. One: We keep our relationship a secret until enough time has passed that I can safely begin to date you. Two: We…" Lois hesitated.

Clark knew exactly what she was about to say. With great consternation, he finished, "… tell him."

Lois nodded. She knew this was Clark's decision to make.

"Lois, I…" He shook his head in disbelief gently as he talked. "Every person that knows exponentially increases the risk to your safety. You, Jason, my mother… that's it. That's enough."

"Then I guess we're stuck with choice number one," Lois said in a subdued voice. She wished they could avoid secrecy, even though she accepted Clark's decision. But worry still niggled in the back of her mind – how long would they have to keep this a secret? Until Richard gave up on his mission to change her mind? Until Jason was old enough to ask his own questions? She had carried her secret crush on Superman for so many years – how could she add the weight of a relationship that would feel like an illicit affair?

Her stomach abruptly rumbled, reminding her that it was lunch time. She looked across the street and saw a greasy spoon diner, which suddenly looked very inviting. "Wow, I'm really hungry… but I'm eager to get to work on this new angle…"

A gust of wind was the only sign she had that Clark had left. Lois looked from side to side, bemused, and then shrugged. _Geez, Clark, couldn't you have said 'Gotta run' or something before you took off? _Well, there were always the vending machines back at the paper.

She headed down the stairwell, rode the subway, walked the two blocks to the _Planet _Building, and took the elevator in silence, alone with her thoughts. She put her worries about Richard out of her mind for a while as she pondered the investigation. After they narrowed down their list of suspect properties, maybe Clark could do some flyovers to find the ones most likely to go next.. And using a combination of their investigative skills and Superman's credibility, publish an exclusive story to blow this scandal wide open…?

The elevator opened and Lois walked toward her desk with a purposeful step. But before she could even leave the vestibule, Clark materialized in front of her, plastic take out bags in hand, a shy smile on his face. "Clark? What have you…?"

"You said you were hungry, but we needed to get to work. So I thought, how about a working lunch?" He lifted the bags in his hands, which were marked with some sort of Chinese-looking writing.

Lois smiled gratefully, noticing that Clark was wearing the same look of happy anticipation that Jason would give her after cleaning his room. She felt a wave of tenderness threaten to engulf her, and immediately tried to stifle it. _Gotta get better at acting, Lane, if you're going to keep this thing a secret!_ It was going to be hard. Clark's desire to please her was absolutely adorable. She took one of the bags from him, and they walked to her desk quickly.

She sat down and opened the bag, expecting to see paper cartons filled with Chow Mein or Pork Fried Rice… but instead there was a large, round red-lacquer container covered in plastic wrap. Under the plastic was… "Sushi?" she said with a trace of queasiness.

Clark's pleased face fell. "You don't like sushi?"

She grimaced in response to his question.

"Oh, I'm sorry… I guess you're still a hot dog and hamburger sort of girl?" he apologized. "I just thought it would be nice to surprise you with something really authentic and fresh. And boy, is sushi good when it's fresh…"

She gestured to the bags and whispered. "Did these come from Japan?"

He grinned boyishly. "A little place just a few blocks from the_ Tsujiki_ market." He pointed inside her bag. "There are some _kappa maki_ and _mushi-ebi_ in there. Cucumber rolls and cooked shrimp… they're not raw, if that's what bothers you." He shrugged, embarrassed. "Or I could run out for a hot dog…"

_I guess it wouldn't hurt to try one or two,_ she thought, feeling bad for him. He'd gone to so much trouble to please her. _I can always grab a candy bar later._ "No, that's okay, I'm a risk taker," Lois said cheerfully, peeling back the film. She looked around for the chopsticks.

"Here." Clark handed her a pair of wooden chopsticks, a packet of soy sauce, and a little plastic cup filled with green paste.

She took them and looked at the cup helplessly. "This is the hot stuff, right?"

"_Wasabi_," he confirmed. "You mix it with the soy sauce and dip the sushi into it." He showed her what to do by mixing his own.

Almost daintily, she plucked one of the rolls that looked like it had cucumber inside from the tray with the chopsticks, and dabbed just the barest edge into the now brownish _wasabi _mixture. "Here goes nothing," she said, and popped it into her mouth.

Her tongue was assaulted with an odd combination of flavors. Spicy horseradish, salty soy and seaweed, and the mellow cucumber. She chewed slowly, letting the rice blend it all together. It was crunchy and smooth all at the same time. "Not bad," she admitted.

In fact, it was good enough to attempt something more ambitious. In five minutes time, she felt brave enough to try the salmon (_sake toro_, he called it). Clark watched her with a trace of amusement. She braced herself, and bit into the slice of melon-colored fish. She gasped in amazement. It practically melted into her mouth, having absolutely no fishy taste whatsoever. Just a sweet, smooth savor that complemented the chewy white rice and _wasabi_ beautifully.

She swallowed, and started to comment on how good it was when Clark's face suddenly went white. His mouth dropped open a little in shock and he stared ahead of her dumbly.

"What?" she asked, turning to follow his gaze.

Clark was looking into Perry's office, where Richard and the editor-in-chief seemed to be talking earnestly.

"They're… they're talking about Superman. Richard just asked…" Clark swallowed, nervousness plain on his features. "He just asked Perry what he remembers about the weeks just before Superman left. Specifically, about the events concerning General Zod."

Lois froze. Then, with eerie synchronicity, the two men in Perry's office turned, and looked directly at the two of them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**A/N: Well, I realized later that I forgot to do the recommendations I meant to in the last chapter. So I will do four in this chapter to make up for it. All of these can be found in my favorites.**

**Beeto was a great help in filling out my construction theory this chapter! His _Home Is Where the Heart Is_ is a great read as well! Check it out!**

**bistyboo1974 is writing an completely emotionally-gripping work of art that I can't live without, as well as being practically my long-lost twin (not forgetting about ColtDancer or AlamoGirl, mind you). _Life Belongs to the Living_ is MY addiction.**

**Kala Lane-Kent's _Little Secrets_ is getting better and better! If you ever wondered what the movie would have been like with a Lois that _remembers,_ this is the fic for you! It's a co-authored work, and they are an amazing team!**

**And now for one I don't have any hand in (just in case you were going to accuse me of some sort of nepotism – lol) Larbo's _Superman Returns II_. This is an absolute masterpiece. It's in script format, but very readable, nonetheless. If the length of the chapters gives you pause, go to Metropolisfic com to read it, where it is broken into scenes.**

**More next chapter! Love you all!**


	27. Chapter 27: Tension

Déjà Vu

Chapter 27: Tension

Lois had to fight a rising tide of panic as her eyes locked with Richard's across the newsroom. _Why is he looking at us? Has he figured it out? Has he seen what I didn't for years?_ Perry seemed just as focused on them, eyebrows lowered in… Was that suspicion? Consternation? Judgment?

The moment seemed to stretch interminably. Lois felt trapped by their gazes, unable to think, to move.

Beside her, Clark smiled and waved goofily at them, lifting the lacquer container. He raised his eyebrows, tilted his head, and pointed into the box as if to say 'Want some?' Perry held up a hand to decline – her ex-fiancé simply shook his head, and turned back to his uncle. Clark gave a little shrug and dug back into his food.

Watching him, Lois was astonished and impressed at the same time. Suddenly a flash of memory – she wouldn't exactly call it _déjà vu_ – hit her:

_Richard leaned over conspiratorially. "Lois… how tall would you say Clark is?"_

_Lois looked over at where Clark was standing, examining the contents of a file box in his arms. "6′3″, 6′4″…"_

"_About two hundred, two fifteen pounds?"_

_She looked again. Clark turned coincidentally in their direction, saw them gazing his way, and gave them a goofy wave. Both Richard and Lois snickered, embarrassed at even considering the idea that Clark might be Superman._

Effortlessly, Clark had used his non-threatening persona to throw them off the scent. It had worked like a charm on her. In retrospect, it seemed perfectly obvious that Clark had been listening in on that conversation.

She broke herself out of her reverie. "You're so good at that," she marveled quietly.

He swallowed another roll. "Years of practice." He picked around in the box for his next selection. "Believe me, I had plenty of close calls growing up…" As unconcerned as he outwardly seemed now, eating his sushi, she could still sense him continue to focus his hearing on the editor-in-chief's office.

"What are they saying?" she whispered, anxiously, her heart rate beginning to climb again.

He paused a moment, turning his back to the men before starting to speak. _"Lois seems to be handling the break up well,"_ Clark reported in a slightly gruff voice – remarkably, it was Perry's voice, inflection and all.

Lois winced painfully, as Clark gave her a commiserating glance. She shifted her position to see past Clark into the office. Richard was leaning back into his chair, sagging a little.

"_Yes."_ Clark added a little sigh to the slightly higher tone of Richard's voice. _"It was her decision, after all."_

Lois wished she could have heard what Richard had originally told his uncle about them this morning. He had promised he wouldn't say anything about Superman, and she trusted him to keep his word… but Perry was an old pro. How long, she wondered apprehensively, would it take him to put two and two together, especially if Richard asked him just the right questions?

"_Again, I'm sorry, son…" _Clark added a regretful note to Perry's voice. _"She's got a major story to write anyway. Can't afford to have one of my top reporters working at less than full capacity right now."_

Lois grimaced. "I'd rather avoid another tongue-lashing like the one we got this morning," she muttered to Clark, trying to distract herself from the thrumming of her heartbeat in her ears. "I hope the story we do on the building collapse will buy us a little more time on the construction investigation…"

Frowning, Clark held up a hand to halt her thoughts. "Richard is asking Perry again about Zod…" His demeanor changed a little to reflect Richard's as he continued to report. _"…I remember seeing it on the news in the European bureau office, but I was out of the country, so it's all a little fuzzy. So you're saying that Superman was just… nowhere for several days? He allowed these aliens to basically take over the country?"_

Clark shifted uncomfortably in his chair, and Lois's eyes widened as he continued._ "The president made an urgent plea on television for Superman to help…everyone was frantic. My one source for 'all things Superman' was out on assignment with Clark – and no one could reach her."_ She saw Perry shake his head, remembering.

"_Wait. So Lois was nowhere to be found either? What assignment were they on?"_ Clark's version of Richard's voice was sharp with curiosity.

Through the window, Perry waved a hand in dismissal. _"I don't even remember. Some puff piece. Once those aliens arrived, they pretty much took over all the news for a while."_

Perry suddenly straightened up and his palm smacked his forehead. Milliseconds later, Clark was continuing his recitation. _"Wait a minute… now I remember. I sent the two of them to Niagara Falls to cover that honeymoon racket… and Lois came back days later… no story… no Superman info… zilch." _Eyes narrowed in concentration, Clark harrumphed in perfect imitation of Perry. _"And after the paper paid for the whole trip… I was going to rake her over the coals for it, but she seemed so out-of-sorts…"_ This reminder from Perry of that time, caused a small flash of pain – remembering the fear that she was losing him, the guilt of the knowledge that their 'time away' had left the world so exposed to madness…

"_She came back without Clark?"_ Clark's imitation of Richard sounded nonchalant, but the words caused an icy shiver to run through her body. Seeing this, Clark took her hand in a warm and gentle clasp under the desk, out of sight.

"_Come to think of it… yes. I never really thought of that before. Clark didn't return from Niagara until after the whole mess was over."_ Clark stiffened slightly in his chair as he repeated this. But doggedly he went on: _"Lois was always running off on her own… still does that, or have you forgotten?"_ She could almost hear the acerbic chuckle in Perry's voice, despite the fact that Clark's tense face looked anything but amused.

The back of Richard's head was all Lois could make out through the glass. She exhaled audibly, wishing desperately that she could see his expression at hearing that remark somehow. Throwing her a sympathetic glance, Clark resumed in the lighter voice he had been using for Richard: _"You said she seemed… not herself?"_

"_Well, she was still Lois, of course, full of rapid-fire questions and nervous energy, but also… more subdued and… worried? She couldn't keep still for a moment, sneaking glances at the television monitors, and out at the sky…"_

Secretly taking her hand again, Clark suddenly gave her a deep look full of regretful compassion. Lois looked down at their combined hands and whispered, "I was so worried about you. I didn't know if I would ever see you again… either as Clark _or_ you-know-who." He sighed heavily, lowering his eyes. _But I didn't realize that Perry noticed how obviously upset I was…_ Lois shook her head and looked back through the office window. Richard was holding some sort of printout in his hands. "I'm sorry, is Richard reading something now?"

He listened for a moment. "It seems to be the article we turned in after…um… Superman defeated General Zod and his cohorts…" Clark's voice changed from its normal tone again: _"…sounds like Lois was kidnapped… but there's nothing in here about where they took her or how Superman defeated the Kryptonian criminals…"_

"_No, it would have been a front-page exclusive, too! I could never get that out of her. I think she even kept it from the police."_ Clark's tone softened and she heard a warmth and concern that few ever did from Perry White, even filtered through Clark's astounding super-hearing._ "Something about what happened really shook her up, Richard. She told me she was just protecting Superman… but I suspect it was more than that."_

Richard leaned over, posture very interested. _"Oh?"_ Lois gasped, quickly biting it back.

"_It was the weirdest thing…I asked her again about it a few days later… and she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about… I guess everyone deals with trauma in their own way."_

Clark gave her another look of anguished regret. She dropped her eyes, overcome with contradictory emotions, including a sympathy about the memory wipe that she never expected to feel. _Once again, his rash decision is coming back to bite him in the…_

Her thoughts were interrupted as Clark continued: _"How long after that did Superman leave?"_

"_A couple weeks, a month maybe… I don't really know. It was about the time you came to work here, wasn't it? You could probably look that up in the archives yourself, son."_

Suddenly Clark's face whitened in alarm. He repeated in a shaky voice, _"Why are you so interested in this anyway?"_ For a split second, Lois and Clark stared at each other with identical expressions of wide-eyed terror before he bolted up from his chair and rushed over to the editor-in-chief's office at blinding, if not super, speed.

"Uh, Ch—Chief!" Clark stammered in a panicked voice, poking his head through the glass door. Lois scrambled to her feet, following as quickly as she could behind him, her heart racing.

Perry and Richard turned toward him with an expression of annoyance. "What?" Perry barked, probably more at the use of the hated nickname than the interruption.

"We—we have news… a—about…" Lois could see the wheels turning frantically behind his oversized lenses. Luckily, his stumbling was not out of character for what they were used to…

Arriving breathlessly, Lois jumped in. "We got an interview with Superman!" she said excitedly. Out of the corner of her eye, she registered Richard's flinch.

"Really?" Perry leaned over, a spark of keen interest leaping into his eyes. Richard's head dropped slightly, and neither man saw Clark's eyes go a smidgen wider at her announcement. Lois didn't miss his instantly controlled reaction, though, flicking a hasty sidelong at him. "Is he going to give us an exclusive about his recovery? I want details… not the bare sound-bites the news stations have squeezed out of him…"

It was Clark's turn to flinch.

"No, no…" Lois replied firmly, quickly. "Perry, it's not going to be that kind of interview." Perry's face fell, and before he could argue, she plunged on. "After the catastrophe this morning with a second post-earthquake collapse, he's gravely concerned about the city's safety." Lois stumbled ahead with the idea she'd had in the elevator, even though she hadn't yet run it by Clark… "He wants to work with us to find out which other properties in Metropolis are in danger – to warn people before another disaster can occur."

Perry's disappointment quickly turned to excitement. "Lane, Kent – if you're right about there being some sort of deeper conspiracy here… with Superman to back it up… I can just see the headlines now: _Superman Uncovers Construction Scandal! Countless Lives Saved!_"

Richard suddenly stood, skirting behind Clark to leave the room. "Excuse me, Perry, I think I'll get back to work now. Thanks for your insights." Richard met her eyes for one dramatic instant. Lois felt shaken to the core at the depth of the misery there, before he hurried out of the office.

"Sure, sure. Any time, Richard." Already forgetting him, Perry turned away from his departing nephew to speak to his reporters urgently. "How does Superman intend to help?"

Nervously, Lois watched Richard return to his desk out of the corner of her eye, noting the dispirited slump of his shoulders somewhere in recesses of her brain. "We're going to narrow down a list of the potentially at-risk properties associated with the two companies involved. He'll do a series of flyovers, scanning the buildings for the same sort of structural flaws he's noted in the two collapses this week." Lois caught Clark watching her with a gleam of admiration in his bright eyes.

Clark finally found his voice. "Superman seemed extremely upset by the disaster. He reported a body count of at least 360 deaths."

Perry let out a low whistle, and Lois caught her breath. She had no idea it had been that high…

Clark went on gravely. "He hopes our input will make his search much more effective, and give him that much more time to prevent any further loss of life."

Perry beamed proudly at them, another thing few ever saw around the office. "I hate to admit it, Lane, Kent, but I'm impressed. Really impressed. I'm sorry I accused the two of you of being off your game this morning." The editor-in-chief turned toward the windows, thinking. "Now _this_ is the kind of exclusive I like to see… The _Daily Planet_ and Superman…working together!"

Lois shared a secretive smile with Clark before agreeing. "Lane, Kent and Superman. We make a good team."

Perry swiveled back around. "A _damn_ fine team! Now, get back to work – you get that list to him ASAP!" he ordered brusquely, once again all business.

As they slipped out of the office, Lois chanced a glance over her shoulder. Richard was glued to his computer monitor, making notes on a pad of paper. He could be working on anything… an assignment for the paper… or his more personal vendetta. Her stomach clenched in fear. _We're not out of the woods with him yet…_

She suddenly felt Clark's warm breath in her ear. "Good save, there, Lois." Clark briefly gave her shoulder an affectionate squeeze before moving a cordial distance away.

"Thanks. I had planned to suggest that to you first before approaching Perry…" she shrugged apologetically.

"No matter. It was brilliant." The admiration that had barely glimmered there in the presence of witnesses was now shining full-force from his eyes.

Lois felt a little giddy at his approval, a reaction that would have felt strange only days ago. But his looks, his too brief touches, his constant presence… it was almost too much. And even as she was inundated with these whirling emotions again for the millionth time today, she felt a prickle at the back of her neck. She was almost afraid to turn around and see Richard staring at them – even if he wasn't at all. The threat of his discovering everything haunted her like a ghost behind her shoulder.

She shivered and sat down quickly, keeping her back to Richard, gesturing for Clark to take the chair facing Richard's office. Clark was a far better actor than she was anyway, and if needed, he would have a direct line of sight for whatever Richard was up to.

"I know that you probably felt bad about doing it before… but I'm surprised you haven't taken advantage of your… uh… 'unique relationship with Superman' more often," Lois commented quietly, beginning to shuffle through her notes.

Clark looked down shyly.

"I know you've used your abilities to help you out in a pinch… and your presence at various crises to write articles… but here you have a chance to combine that perceptive mind, those excellent writing skills and your 'super' personality to do the most good." Just as he had done earlier, she touched his hand gently beneath the desk, knowing she wouldn't be seen. "Wouldn't it be nice to stop something _before _it happened every once in a while? Instead of just reacting to it?"

Clark nodded, eyes closing. "I should have let you in on the secret years ago… all this wasted time…"

Lois pinched him gently and teased, eyes flashing, "Yes, or trusted me to keep it when I _did_ know..." He gave her such a remorseful look that she couldn't keep him on the hot seat for long. Besides, they had a lot of tedious research ahead of them. Lois reached for her reading glasses and placed them on her nose as she called up the files on the computer. "Now, what we need to look for first are other properties handled by L & V and Ottman, as well as checking into the other companies whose buildings collapsed during the initial quake…"

They spent a long afternoon going through each of the companies' histories. Lois was grateful for the distraction provided by the painstaking work, since she continued to feel, rightly or wrongly, as though Richard was keeping them under close surveillance. L & V was their first priority, and easier to track, since the company had only been in business for the last two years. A surprising number of new or renovated buildings in the business district had been handled by the company, but it was still a short list in comparison to some of the other more established building companies.

Ottman Enterprises was a different story. They had been in business for a couple of decades, and the number of their structures that Lois and Clark had to sift through was considerably higher. Oddly though, almost none of the batch of construction projects built since Thorne Tower had fallen during the quake, though a few built before 1994 had suffered severe damage, with a few scheduled for demolition.

Lois turned toward Clark with an expression of puzzlement. "So what is the connection? What could have changed?" She tapped a pencil against her mouth, and studied the information on the screen again, trying to make sense of it. "If we only had access to their records…"

Before she could draw another breath, he was gone without even a rustle of paper to mark his exit. _Well, that's convenient… _she thought with a small smile hovering on her lips. _Or was there an emergency he had to attend to?_

Lois shrugged mentally. Whatever he was doing, she could handle compiling the last of the possibilities herself. They had made as much progress as they were going to without digging into confidential files at each affected company…

A half an hour later, the prickle returned, and without Clark's calming presence, her stomach knotted up even further. Without turning her head, Lois dared to peer around the edge of her black frames… to see Richard gazing steadily in her direction again, his face inscrutable from across the room. For one heart-stopping moment, their gazes met and held, before Lois' eyes shifted quickly back to her computer. _Oh, Clark… _she thought despairingly, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall, _please let your errand be finished soon…_

It was almost as if he had heard her silent plea. The delicious smell of fresh roasted coffee assaulted her nostrils, and see turned eagerly to Clark, a frothy cappuccino in hand. "I hope this is more your style than lunch was…"

Lois accepted it with a grateful smile and took a long sip. Exactly how she liked it… Clark had been even better at noticing these things than Richard. "Perfect," she breathed, willing herself to relax. "So, where did you go?"

"I paid Ottman Enterprises a quick visit," Clark said in a low voice, studying her face closely. "And from a scan of their records, it seems like the only change before and after the construction of Thorne Tower was one subcontractor: Robinson and Sons. About a year later, the company was no longer used in any of Ottman's projects."

"They poured the concrete for Thorne Tower?"

"Yes." A pleased grin began to dawn on his face.

"And L & V used them in the buildings which collapsed?"

Clark nodded, the smile growing wider.

"_Ding-dong!_ We have a winner," Lois said triumphantly. But a sharp pain of anxiety from her gut suddenly caused her to groan.

"What's wrong?" Clark asked in immediate concern.

Lois took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves. "Nothing. Just hungry, I guess." He didn't need her worries on top of everything else he was dealing with right now.

Clark gave her a measuring look. "Lois, I know there's something. Your heart rate has been quite elevated all afternoon, and it just got even faster a few minutes ago." He looked over her, pointing out other physical symptoms of her nervousness. "Your back and shoulder muscles are as tense as I've ever seen them, and all your stomach muscles seem to be clenching—"

"Okay!" she whispered fiercely. "I'm all on edge, wondering what Richard knows, what he's figuring out, what he'll do…" She threw up her hands in frustration. "But what can we do about it, really?"

Clark reached for her hands and gripped them tightly. "There_ is_ something we can do, Lois." His face and posture took on the determined bearing he wore as Superman, and his voice lowered to its heroic timbre. "I've been thinking over your comments earlier, about our choices."

"What are you saying?" Lois threw a frantic glance over her shoulder. What if Richard were watching them this very instant?

He released her hands. "Lois, I know you. Could you really deal with this kind of tension for months?"

Heart pounding, she dropped her eyes from his piercingly blue ones, almost afraid to speak.

"Even though we have to be on guard, I don't want our…family to be hemmed in by lies any more than necessary." His voice strengthened as he spoke. "And I want to be able to show my love for you in public as much as you want to." He gently tilted her chin, so she would look again into his deep blue eyes. "I know for a fact, you would never have shared your life, even for a few days, let alone five years with a man who wasn't deserving of the utmost trust."

Her breath caught in her throat as she looked back up at him, a faint hope stealing into her heart in the midst of all the fear.

"He deserves closure… and the truth. How could he continue to be truly involved in Jason's life without it?"

Startled by his generosity, Lois was still unable to utter a word. Clark rose and calmly strode over to Richard's office. She watched Richard look up distractedly from his computer screen and heard him say, "Yes, Clark?"

Clark didn't bother to raise the pitch of his voice at all as he asked authoritatively, "Richard, could I talk to you for a few minutes?"

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**A/N: And now it's time for a few more recommendations (again, look in my favorites!):**

**I've recommended one of her other stories, but I can't forget Alphie's first SR masterpiece, _In the Shadow of My Father_. Angsty but wonderful!**

**Also, one of my fabulous betas, Jen K, has written some very nice one-shots and a lengthier piece. She needs encouragement! Check out _He Never Lies_, _I'll Follow You Into the Dark_, and _Before Sunset_.**

**kisses to everyone for your continued support! More recommendations next chapter!**


	28. Chapter 28: Trust

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 28: Trust

Richard cast another glance at his computer screen. "I'm kind of busy right now… is it important?" he said in a polite voice.

Clark continued to hold himself firmly in the regal posture of his alter ego. "Yes, it is."

A small frown marred Richard's face, and he clicked his mouse a few times – to hide what he had been working on, perhaps? Then his face cleared and he turned his full attention on Clark. "All right. What is it?"

"If you wouldn't mind," Clark began, his native Midwestern courtesy blending into his request, "May we talk privately? On the roof?"

"Sure…" Richard agreed doubtfully and stood from his chair, the puzzled frown returning. Clark stepped back to let Richard move past him, and the two men headed for the stairwell.

Lois didn't know what to do. Should she join them? Should she stay behind? She began to chew on her thumbnail… but her dilemma was soon resolved. As Richard entered the stairwell, Clark beckoned to her to join them, and then the door shut behind the two men.

Even then, she hesitated. _Okay, Lane. Clark just asked you to come along… so why are you so terrified? _He's_ the one who should be reticent…_ For some reason, the very solution she had suggested earlier today – tell Richard the truth – now seemed absolutely insane.

Lois grimly forced her rigid limbs to move, and walked briskly, if somewhat jerkily, to the stairwell access door. She looked into the empty walkway past the door, and could barely register their voices and footsteps as they ascended quickly. _You can do it, Lois. One foot in front of the other. Clark didn't fall in love with you because you were a timid wallflower_… and neither had Richard, if she were being perfectly honest. So up she went, plucking up her courage with every step.

When she reached the roof access door, she gently opened it just a crack to peer out at them. Maybe she could just watch the whole thing from here… Richard seemed at ease, if a little confused, and Clark still appeared confident. She hadn't missed the revelation yet, at least…

"So…" she heard Richard say from her vantage point. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"The reason I asked you up here, Richard, was…" Clark hesitated. He turned directly toward where Lois was peeking through the doorway. Pleading blue eyes, at odds with his calm face, sought her support. "…_Lois_ and I have something to tell you."

"Lois?" Richard asked in surprise.

Well, she was good and caught now. Grimacing, Lois pushed open the heavy door and stepped all the way outside.

Frowning, Richard asked again, "Why Lois? Is this something about your investigation?"

Lois came to stand beside Clark. "No, more about yours…"

"What? I don't understand…" Richard looked perplexed, increasingly on edge because of her close contact.

Clark cleared his throat, and Lois noticed that he was still using the deeper pitch usually reserved for Superman. "Richard. In the short time I've known you, I've really come to respect you. You are a thoughtful, intelligent, and brave person…"

"Thank you, Clark, but…?" Richard eyes traveled between the two of them, confused and annoyed.

Clark continued in a soothing baritone. "So it's not lightly that I… we…" Clark reached out for her hand. For a moment, Lois debated taking it, but then placed her fingers into his palm, holding onto it like a lifeline. "…have decided to tell you something very important."

Suddenly, a series of emotions flashed across Richard's face. Lois thought she could see deep confusion, suspicion, shock, anger, worry and disbelief… and with Clark standing there proudly, she was certain that at any moment Richard would piece it all together.

"Lois and I—" Clark began, but Richard cut him off abruptly.

"What is going on here?" He turned on Lois, a spark of anger in his eyes. "Just this morning, you all but admitted to me that you were starting a relationship with…" He didn't finish the thought, and took a shuddering breath. "But was that just a cover? For…" He stuttered out the name in angry disbelief, "C—Clark?"

She met his fiery gaze with her own unflinching one. "Let him finish," she said quietly.

Richard's lips set in a grim line and he turned to Clark again.

Clark pressed on boldly, unhurriedly. "I have seen what a good father you are to Jason, Richard, and how much you obviously care about him and Lois. I know this is going to be very hard to accept… but please remember we have the utmost faith in you." Clark's voice lowered even further. "Yes, Lois and I are now together. She wasn't lying to you – because…" He hesitated. "_I_ am Superman."

For a few tense seconds, Richard stood there in shock. His face went slack, his body went rigid, and only his eyes remained mobile. He frantically looked between the two of them, and Lois began to fear for his reaction, squeezing Clark's hand tightly…

Suddenly, Richard unfroze and laughed in disbelief. "Is this some kind of joke? This is crazy…" It _was _an absurd thought – she of all people knew how absurd it seemed – but Richard trailed off at Clark's steady, unrelenting gaze. For the first time, Richard seemed to take in Clark's regal posture, his authoritative presence.

With a simple gesture, Clark removed the glasses from his face with his free hand, piercing Richard with the full force of his azure stare.

Lois could almost hear an audible click as the final pieces fell into place in Richard's mind. He staggered back a step, spluttering, "But you, and she… how could… it's not…" He covered his eyes with a trembling hand. "Oh, my God…"

Clark and Lois exchanged a momentary disconcerted look. This was _not_ the reaction she had been expecting! After all the other things he had figured out on his own, Richard seemed completely taken aback by this news. And recalling the way he had behaved since Clark had asked to speak with him, it was obvious he had _not_ been as close to the truth as they feared. _Oh, no… did we do the right thing?_ she asked herself apprehensively, watching Richard closely.

Clark remained an impassive statue beside her. Only the slight tightening of his hand on hers gave her any indication that he was reacting at all.

Finally, Richard seemed to decide which question to ask first. "How long have you known, Lois?" He dropped his hand and looked at them in haggard shock.

Even though Lois had been expecting this question, it was still difficult to answer. The memory of their previous conversation about Clark's height and weight was still fresh in her mind – and she hadn't known then, even though she had known when Jason was conceived. But again, the whole memory issue was _not _any of Richard's business… With a mental groan, she went with, "Just a few days."

"But… Jason…" Richard started to pace in front of them, working out the timeline in his mind. "You didn't know back then…?" He shook his head, trying to reconcile what he knew about Lois' character versus this new information. "I can't wrap my head around this…"

Clark spoke up in a reassuring voice. "I know it's hard to believe… and I'm sorry we kept it from you before… I have always protected my 'other identity' very carefully. It's been really difficult for me to tell _anyone_. The danger alone…" He swallowed, and went on. "But we felt you needed to know this secret in order for everyone to begin to heal and move on." His voice softened, and he added gently, "Jason will need all the adults in his life to be there for him, to help him." Lois wondered if he was thinking of his own adoptive parents as he spoke. "We can't do that if we're not all on the same page."

"No…" Richard said, obviously still reeling in astonishment. His eyes slowly drifted to Lois and Clark's still clasped hands. "I thought I had it figured out, you know?" A note of bitterness began to infuse his voice as he talked. "I was so sure you and the Big Guy got together during that General Zod business, and that afterward, his guilt drove him halfway across the universe…"

"That's not the reason he left…" she began hotly, leaving the fact that she and Clark _had_ gotten together during the Zod affair an unspoken truth between them.

"So. You didn't know about his double life back then?" he asked her in angry disbelief. "Who did you… _sleep with_…?" His eyes narrowed as he punctuated those words. "Was it Clark… or Superman?"

Lois recoiled from his naked anger. Clark flinched beside her. "Now wait just a minute…" he growled in defense of her.

"No, you know what? It doesn't matter." Richard's fists clenched. "What matters is that you and she had a relationship… which obviously produced a child…. and no one ever bothered to tell me!" He spun away from them.

Neither one of them knew what to say – at least nothing that might not make the situation worse. What had they expected? That he would calmly accept Clark's or Superman's replacement of him? _The best thing to do is to let him vent right now…_

Preoccupied with watching Richard in sadness, Lois was momentarily startled by the sound of Clark's voice in her ear. "Lois," he said tightly, and she turned to look expectantly up at him.

There was no mistaking what he was about to say. She marveled inwardly that with only a few days of remembering his secret, it as almost as if there had been no gap of time at all. "You have to go?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Richard swivel back to them. Clark simply nodded, looking over his shoulder to the south.

"Go ahead. I want to research Robinson and Sons some more before the day's over. I'll see you back here later?"

"Yes… but I'll do those flyovers before I come back. Are you…" He looked pointedly at Richard.

"I'll be fine." Her heart swelled at his protectiveness. She wanted to reach out to him, to kiss him goodbye, but in front of the man whose heart she had broken…? She had more tact than that.

He smiled that smile – the one he saved just for her. "I know you will." Eyes full of emotion, Clark rose into the sky, spun around once to reveal his Superman colors, and sped off in a blur.

Richard let out a shaky breath behind her. "It's one thing to know it, and another to see it, isn't it?" he said in wonder.

"Yes…" Lois said softly, a touch of awe in her own voice.

Richard walked over to the edge of the roof, and gazed in the direction Clark had taken. "A lot of things are making sense now… the way Clark and Superman returned to Metropolis at the same time, the way he always looked at you, his frequent absences from work…" A look of comprehension settled over him and he said in amazement, "It was that dinner earlier this week, wasn't it?" Richard turned around and stared directly into her eyes. "He spent too much time around that kryptonite I found under the deck, and it weakened him enough for you to figure it out!"

Lois dropped her eyes from his and nodded.

But Richard wasn't finished. "He must have known it was under there… why did he agree to help me?" he asked, mystified.

"Because that's the kind of guy Clark is," Lois looked up again and answered quietly, simply.

"And… Oh, my, God! Babysitting his own son… all the things I said to him yesterday about what I was planning… how he seemed to be so good with Jason…" He groaned. "Why would he _do_ that?"

She whispered, still in agony at watching his pain. "Be—"

"—'Cause that's the kind of guy Clark is?" he finished sharply for her, hostility overtaking him. "Apparently the same kind of guy that would steal any kind of secret moment with his illegitimate son… who would steal an engaged woman out of her happy family… and welcome her back into his bed with open arms!" He stopped just short of shouting in her face.

Lois had been feeling sorry for him, but now her ready temper exploded at the accusation in those words. "Do you think I'm some kind of _slut_, Richard White?" _She_ was the one in Richard's face now. "Yes! I spent last night at his apartment. But I slept on the couch! Alone!"

She knew that his emotions were coming out of a place of deep hurt and resentment, but she plowed on. "What kind of mother would I be if I jumped into bed with another man, with my only child asleep in the next room?" Her voice was turning shrill with affronted rage, so she lowered it and spat, "Not that it's any business of _yours_!"

Richard didn't step away from her as he replied in a tone as low and menacing as her own. "Just like you didn't jump into _my_ bed the moment _he_ left you high and dry?"

Before she was even aware of what she was doing, the flat of her hand _smacked_ across his face. Richard hardly flinched. Lois stepped back, still full of trembling rage, but devastated by the look on his face. "Oh, Richard, I'm so sorry…" She reached a placating hand toward him.

He cringed away from her, almost crumpling in on himself. In a small, broken voice, so different from the anger he had displayed mere moments ago, he said, "Don't worry, Lois. You two were right – you can trust me. For the sake of _Jason_, you can trust me with this knowledge."

"Richard… You didn't deserve this… I really did love you…"

His head turned slowly back to hers and she saw bitter tears shining in his wounded eyes. "But it wasn't enough, was it? He was just too hard an act to follow."

"Richard…" Her voice started to break as well, while her heart clenched painfully.

"Just… go. I need to process this on my own. It's too much…" He twisted away from her again, staring with inward-turned eyes over the boundless cityscape.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**A/N: Looking for good fic? I have a few more (in my Favorites as usual)…**

**Alamo Girl's _Veritas_ is a great story – a variation on the theme with its own special spin. If you like a snarky Lois, she's your girl.**

**Tandrelmairon's _Getting Eaten Alive_ is a fantastic piece of work. It is a meaty, heady and intricate exploration of Clark and Lois in the early years of their partnership, interwoven with an incredibly intriguing mystery. **

**I love you all – keep it up!**


	29. Chapter 29: Connections

**A/N: Sorry for the crazy amount of extra waiting this time - first quarter grades... Grr... **

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Déjà Vu 

Chapter 29: Connections

_"Just… go."_

Lois took each step down to the newsroom floor almost mechanically, as Richard's words rang in her ears. How much pain could one man take? The easy-going man she had once fallen for had slowly undergone a transformation in the last few weeks.

_"I need to process this on my own."_

Lois cringed mentally at the memory of the pain in Richard's voice. From the moment Superman had reappeared in all of their lives, Richard's life had been turned upside down. Ironically, her fiancé had once been an admirer of Superman, but the moment he saw the tension in Lois over the superhero's return, he had known something was wrong. She sighed. _Why did I ever think I could gloss over my feelings for Superman?_

_"It's too much…"_

Lois had watched him move slowly through curiosity, suspicion, jealousy, hurt and anger. He had changed from the man with a ready smile and even temper to the broken man alone on the roof. Bitter self-recriminations arose from deep within and took hold of her mind. _And it's all my fault!_ _Why couldn't I be honest with him? With myself?_

_"Just… go."_

Only a few steps left to the access door. She stopped and took a deep breath, trying to calm her shaky nerves, to steady her trembling hands. _Richard is a man of his word. He won't tell anyone, I'm sure of it. _Despite her surety, for an instant, she worried that in his emotional state, he might let something slip… Deliberately, Lois put the thought out of her mind. The only thing she and Clark could do now was to trust that they had made the right decision.

_"It's too much…"_

Lois shook her head. _How much of Richard's pain will wash over onto Jason?_ The last thing she would want is for the tension between the three of them to get so bad that Richard might feel the need to leave town. _It's going to be hard enough on Jason as it is…_

Giving her self a mental shove, she briskly walked down the last of the stairs, and pushed through the door…

A rain of photographs whizzed through the air, one striking her forehead. "Oh! Miss Lane! I'm so sorry!" Jimmy immediately bent down to gather up the prints that had fluttered everywhere like snow.

"No, I'm sorry, Jimmy… let me help with those."

Jimmy gave her a grateful look as she handed him a few photos. "Thanks." His eyes moved away as he asked, "Have you seen Richard?"

Her hands paused. Briefly, but just enough that Jimmy stopped what he was doing to look back up at her. "He's… on the roof…" Lois told him, giving him the last of the photographs as they stood, "…but I wouldn't bother him right now." Lois searched for a reason to give Jimmy, one that would make sense…

Jimmy's gaze drifted to the access door, sad comprehension dawning on his face. "Oh… He's not taking it well, is he?"

Lois' eyes widened in surprise and terror. "What are you—"

Jimmy suddenly blushed crimson. "Oh! No. I'm sorry, Miss Lane… it's none of my business…" He began to walk away quickly, but Lois caught him by the arm in a firm grasp.

"No, Jimmy, go on – I want to hear this." She let go slowly, when she was sure he wouldn't flee like a rabbit. She kept a no-nonsense expression on her face, even though even though her heart was filling with a strong sense of foreboding…

"Um… well. It just seemed like the last couple weeks have been… really tough on you guys." Jimmy shifted nervously, unable to meet her eyes. "But it really seemed to get worse… right after Mr. White put you and Clark together on the construction story… as a team again." He stopped, swallowed, and looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but under the terrible Miss Lane's thumb.

Lois tried to soften her voice – not an easy task. "I'm not going to bite your head off…" Jimmy gave her a disbelieving look. "Really. Go on."

Whether he actually believed her, or whether the fear of evisceration drove him forward, she couldn't tell. But he did go on, lowering his voice. "Everyone around the office has been talking about how things have… cooled… between you and Mr. White."

Lois felt a flash of embarrassed anger. _They have? Busybodies! Aren't there more important stories to cover than my personal life?_ But she bit back that bit of vitriol. Maybe Clark was rubbing off on her.

Instead, she just nodded, unable to dim her flashing eyes.

"They, um, think you guys might be breaking up… because of Superman. A—And then this morning, when you two walked in, it was really obvious that something was _really_ wrong."

She let out a sigh of exasperation. _What the hell am I going to do now? It's bad enough that I was worried that Richard would figure out the whole thing, but now Jimmy…? And apparently the whole office…? _

But before she could defend herself, Jimmy jumped in. "But I don't think that, Miss Lane! Th—That it's Superman, I mean…" he told her with pleading eyes. Then he faltered as he added, "Well, I might have right after he first returned…"

A sharp look caused him to stumble further into his explanation. "But they've got it all wrong, don't they?" He looked again at the access door, where Richard had still not exited, "I saw the three of you go upstairs… and I knew I was right."

"Right about what?" She tried not to swallow nervously.

"It's… Clark, isn't it? _He's_… come between you." Jimmy began to study his shoes, bowtie riding up into his chin.

She could feel her pulse begin to race. _Oh, my God… he has! He's made the connection…_

At these words, Lois couldn't avoid swallowing any longer. "So you've figured out…" It was hard to continue. Two of these revelations in an hour? How could she face Clark later?

A sly grin, barely controlled, stole over Jimmy's face. "Yeah… I don't think anyone else has, though. But I'm like… Clark's _best_ friend. I notice things. I think I was the only one who really missed him when he was gone…" He tried to give Lois a chiding glance, but retreated immediately, possibly out of fear for her reaction. But she let him continue, passive on the outside, churning on the inside. "He's seemed really different the last few days. Happier, more confident. And then there were those little touches you were giving each other when you thought no one else was looking…" He stopped, embarrassed.

Lois had the grace to look embarrassed as well.

"And as much as I like Mr. White…" Jimmy's voice lowered conspiratorially, "…I'm really glad to see Clark get the girl he's always wanted. If a regular guy like him can find love with someone like you, then there's hope for the rest of us."

Astonished and relieved, all Lois could do was smile. "It _was_ about time, wasn't it?"

Jimmy's smile spread even wider, pleased that he had been right about her relationship with Clark. "_Past_ time, if you ask me. I think he's probably been in love with you since the moment he first laid eyes on you. " Then his face clouded. "But Jason…"

"He doesn't know yet. We're all hoping to break it to him gently… when everyone is thinking more clearly." Lois gave Jimmy a searching look, entreaty shining in her eyes.

Jimmy returned her gaze, suddenly more serious than she had ever seen him. "Don't worry, Miss Lane. I won't say anything – not to anyone. It's not really my business, anyway." He started to go, but added quietly before heading away, "I'm really happy for the both of you."

Lois watched his retreating back, a disbelieving smile on her face. Clark Kent had been all but invisible to most people, including herself for a very long time. In fact, she knew that he had very consciously cultivated his image. But Jimmy Olsen was totally immune, it seemed. _I'll have to warn Clark to be careful around Jimmy in the future… although there's probably no truer, more loyal soul than Jimmy in the whole world…_

It was time to get back to work – it had always been the best cure for her overactive mind. She had about an hour before she needed to leave to pick up Jason, and hopefully that would be enough time to do some research into Robinson and Sons. Walking quickly to her desk to sit in front of her computer, she brought up the _Planet's_ search engine.

Nothing much caught her eye in the first few pages of results. There was a small mention here or there in publicity items regarding building projects in the last few years. Again, almost always related to something handled by L & V Construction. She went back farther… and struck pay dirt.

Grinning triumphantly, she began to read a cluster of articles featuring Robinson and Sons from nine years ago. The first article detailed a lawsuit filed against them by an architectural firm. What might have been a small story heated up quickly as allegations leaked out about poor business practices.

The final article ended the trail. The two companies settled out of court for an undisclosed amount. The records were sealed, and there was no other mention of the details. _I bet the key players were paid off for their silence…_ she mused.

Switching away from the _Planet's_ in-house database, she moved to a more general internet search. Her eyes caught on the headline, _"Robinson & Sons Declares Bankruptcy: Business Hopes To Be Forgiven But Not Forgotten."_

Lois sat in her chair and stared at her computer monitor in disbelief for just a moment. What would L & V want anything to do with a company that was so clearly on the rocks, so near to going under due in great part to its serious inability to function by the book? This made no sense to her. On a whim, she typed in the words _'Robinson Mitchener'_ and struck the 'enter' key. She knew this would be fruitless – she'd be better off playing a few rounds of Minesweeper, yet… _Huh,_ Lois thought, intrigued at what had appeared on-screen. _Now that's interesting…_

Her first click led her to a web photo gallery of a chapter of _Pi Kappa Alpha_. The names were listed below a fifteen-year-old group photo of the Class of 1991. At the center, Philip Mitchener smiled charmingly for the camera, arms around the frat brothers to either side of him. On the right side of the back row stood Chase Robinson. He appeared to be trying to pull off the cocky, son-of-a-gun attitude of a frat boy, but Lois thought she could see overconfidence masking insecurity in the young man. So the two of them had more of a connection than just business… how close had they really been?

She glanced again at the clock. She _really_ needed to be leaving to pick up Jason in a few minutes. If she had to bear the teacher's long-suffering look one more time… She saved a screen capture of the page to her hard drive, logged off, grabbed her purse from the drawer and began to pack it.

Suddenly her cell phone blared the general ringtone, and she lifted it with a puzzled frown. Who could be calling that she didn't know? She didn't recognize the number, either…

"Hello?"

_" Lois Lane?"_ a male voice asked politely.

"Who is this?" she asked impatiently, looking again at the clock.

_"Uh… you left a voice mail for me yesterday. This is Jeff Leyden. You were writing an article or something…?" _

_Leyden__… Leyden…_ Lois searched her very scattered thoughts for his name. She took a breath to BS her way into more information…

_"About the deputy mayor, right?" _

_Ah…_ Lois had completely forgotten about those calls she had made Thursday afternoon in the wake of all the drama with Richard, Jason and Clark. Leyden was one of the names connected to Mitchener during his time in college. _If he'd only called three minutes ago, _before_ I logged off_… She retyped her password as she grabbed her notebook and pencil. "Oh, yes, thanks for returning my call. I'm writing a feature article on Mr. Mitchener for the Business Section, and I wanted to get some background information," she answered smoothly. "Do you have a few minutes?" She began to scribble at the top of the notepad: ' _Mich.__ Frend Laidan' _

_"Sure… anything for old Vic."_

"Excuse me?" Her pencil stopped in mid-scribble.

_"Oh…"_ Leyden cleared his throat, embarrassed. _"I'm sorry. Philip's nickname in college was 'Vic.' He probably doesn't use that anymore, huh?"_

"It's not public knowledge anyway… so… Vic. Is that short for Victor?" She wrote _'Vic'_ on the notepad, thinking, _Maybe this is where the 'V' of L & V comes from? _

_"Ah… it might be… I don't really know, to tell you the truth. The other guys used to joke that it stood for 'Victory'… The guy never seemed to fail at anything he tried. Nicest guy you'd ever meet though. You _have_ met him, right?"_

Feeling a twinge of guilt, Lois pressed her lips together before answering. "Yes. My partner and I interviewed him a few days ago." At that moment, the computer finally finished its boot-up process and, firmly quelling her guilty conscience, she rapidly began clicking through the folders for the fraternity photo of Mitchener. "Tell me, Mr. Leyden. Was Mr. Mitchener interested in politics when you knew him back in college?"

_"I don't remember him talking about it… We all just assumed he'd go into one of the family businesses. But I'm not surprised. Vi—I mean Philip… could make anyone come around to his point of view. Whatever the subject was."_

Lois now had the photo in front of her. She spotted Leyden standing a few slots away from Mitchener, a broad, fair-haired jock with an amiable face. His jovial smile didn't seem forced… but he also didn't seem to be part of the 'inner circle' – if she was reading the body language of the group correctly. "Were the two of you close?"

_"Close? Oh, yeah! Well… I mean, as close as you could ever get to Philip. Everyone liked him, spent time with him. He was kind of the leader of the frat house our senior year. I don't know if anyone was really his best friend or anything…" _

Lois peered at the photo again, to the two young men Mitchener had his arms around. Reading from the caption, she asked, "Not even Michael Patton or Charles Haak?"

_"Mike and Chip? Not that I remember…"_

Lois tried another tactic. "Do you still keep in touch these days?"

_"I hear from him every once in a while._ _We're all planning to go to the 15-year reunion next month. I know that he's helped some of the other guys out. He was always doing stuff like that. He co-signed for a car for Greg, put in a good word for jobs with his family, helped Robbie out of the mess he made with his business, went in with Morgan on that land deal…" _

As Leyden spoke, Lois' eyes jumped around the photo, picking out the names and faces of the people he was mentioning, writing each down as a possible contact. _'Greg, Robby, Morgan – help.'_ Then she noticed. There was no Robert listed, no Rob, no Robin… only Chase Robinson… "Robbie?" she asked nonchalantly.

_"Oh, sorry, I keep doing that… Chase Robinson went by 'Robbie' back then."_

"Now I understand, thank you." She circled _'Robby' _on the notepad, adding _'Bankrupsy' _to the left with an arrow to connect them. So Mitchener had gone out of his way to help Robinson and Sons get back on their feet? A noble act – but one that could tarnish his own reputation in the process. A real stand-up guy… so why couldn't she shake her feelings of unease about him?

_"Oh, and I almost forgot. He went and visited Davis at least once a month when he was in prison."_ Lois' eyes jumped to Davis Tandy, a young man with a decidedly feral look on his Ivy League face._ "Vic never let you down. You should put that into your article…" _

"I certainly will…" She quickly clicked over to her internet search engine, carefully typing in _' Davis Tandy'_ and _'prison'_ _– _just hoping her spelling skills were better today… An article came up right away: _'Tandy sentenced to 6 ½ years for bank robbery.'_ She added Davis Tandy's name to the list, with a note about prison, as Leyden continued to talk.

Lois looked up at the clock again. _Oh, crap! I'm going to be late again! _She was about to thank Leyden and end the call, when he added: _"He never believed Davis was really guilty. But you couldn't have gotten me within 10 miles of that prison."_

A tingling sensation came over her. "Why is that?" she asked as casually as she dared.

_"Are you kidding? I heard that place is full of wackos. Davis was lucky to get out in one piece. I think even Lex Luthor was being kept there at the same time…"_

Her eyes went wide as her fingers tightened around her pencil to scratch out _'L.L.'_ in bold letters. Had she just found both the _L_ and the _V_ of L & V?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Special thanks to _bistyboo1974_ for helping me get over my writer's block in the middle of the chapter! And I am always indebted to _betty brant,_ _Mark C_ and _Jen K_ for their help in betaing.**


	30. Chapter 30: Follow–Up

**A/N: A bit of trivia for you all. Way back when I was outlining Chapter 10, as I was discussing some point with one of my betas, I told her I thought this story would be about 15-20 chapters long. She said she hoped it would reach AT LEAST 30 chapters… And I responded (a direct quote from the email): **

**_"OMG... 30... I will barely make it to 15 without imploding... lol. I can promise you, 30 is nigh impossible for me. Let's say 15-20 for now...tries not to hyperventilate... Where's that damn inhaler?!?" _**

**So I have reached this unbelievable number of chapters (at least unbelievable back then) – and no implosion! And it's thanks to your support. I see about 5-7 chapters left to the story by my general outline – but just how reliable that is…? **

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Déjà Vu 

Chapter 30: Follow-Up

Lois hurried down the sidewalk toward the deputy mayor's office, pushing upstream through the pedestrian traffic. She had been trying all the way over to get through to the deputy mayor's office, but could only get the voice mail. It had taken her taxi much too long to get here. On a Friday afternoon, rush hour started early, ended late… and she was going the wrong way. _Please, let me just make it before they close…_

She had left _The Daily Planet _within minutes of ending the phone call with Leyden. Every fiber of her being had been urging her to race out of the newsroom to follow the lead that had so miraculously dropped into her lap – but there was Jason to consider:

_Lois cleared her throat, trying to seem braver than she was feeling right now. "Um… excuse me…?" _

_Richard stood beside his desk, looking through the photos that Jimmy had brought him. Was it just blind luck that he had come down from the roof just when she needed him? He looked up at her with haggard eyes. "Yes?" he asked in an almost too polite voice. _

_"I just got off the phone with a contact in the story that C–" Lois stopped, and tried again. "I – I want to chase a lead." She really hated to do this to Richard after everything that he'd gone through today, but there was really no choice…She quashed a painful twinge of guilt, so she could get out her request. "Do you mind picking up Jason today…?" she asked with a note of pleading in her voice. _

_Jimmy stood off to Richard's right, looking for all the world as if he wanted to blend into the bookcases beside him. He couldn't meet either of their eyes, trying to avoid being drawn into their personal drama. _

_Richard glanced at the clock with barely concealed irritation. Then he closed eyes tightly, and took a heavy breath. "Sure," he said tonelessly. _

_"Thank you, Richard," she breathed gratefully. "And I would have asked C— but he's still… on his errand…" _

_Richard's eyes blazed then, full of I-told-you-so's. "Go chase that lead." _

She was still grateful that she would _not_ have to drag her little boy along this time, especially after what had happened with Luthor on the yacht….

Only a short distance from the wide marble steps in front of City Hall, Lois suddenly caught a flash of a red and blue in the corner of her eye. _Clark__…?_ She searched the sky above the buildings, but there was nothing there – only the whipping of Old Glory from a nearby flagpole. Her heart sank unexpectedly.

Shaking her head at her silliness – he would be done when he was done – Lois pushed through the doors into the large, open lobby. For 4:30 in the afternoon, the place seemed surprisingly deserted. She hoped she wasn't too late. _Damn government offices and their strange hours… _The elevator ride suddenly felt interminable.

Her high heels clicked on the tile floors as she made her way to the deputy mayor's office. Every office on the floor appeared to be shut and locked up tight. _You'd think this was a Friday_, she thought snidely. Turning the corner, she tried to look down the hall…

… And stopped short as a pretty, young blonde screeched to a halt to avoid running into her. "Excuse me," Lois muttered, and tried to move past the woman.

" Ms. Lane?"

Lois did a double take, looking more closely at the young woman's face. Mitchener's secretary… and it looked like she was on her way out… Dammit!

The bottle blonde smiled, and continued speaking before Lois could even respond. "The deputy mayor really liked the article you and your partner wrote the other day," she enthused. "I think he might even get it framed."

"Oh, really?" Lois affected a pleasant smile and a cordial tone. "Mr. Mitchener was quite…" she searched for the proper word, "… impressive during our interview." Lois continued in the same manner, trying to draw the secretary in, "You know, I tried to call earlier to see if I could snag an appointment, but I couldn't get through…"

The secretary blushed. "I'm sorry... I must have tied up the phone…" She continued in a coy voice, eyelids lowered, a ploy which Lois was sure was very effective on most people, "You see... there's this guy…"

Looking at the girl's flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes, Lois couldn't resist the sudden sense of fellow feeling that swept over her. Despite her impatience, Lois couldn't help but sympathize, still feeling the sense of newness and rediscovery that falling in love could bring. She chuckled dryly. "Oh?"

The girl clutched her fashionable handbag closer to her, and let out a small chuckle herself. "That's where I'm heading now," she confided.

"Oh, well, I hope you have fun," Lois told her almost fondly. The young woman's smile got even brighter, and she made as if to head back down toward the elevators. "But... if you don't mind... is he still in?" Lois nodded toward the office door. "I have some information I would like to double check with him, for a follow-up feature I'm writing."

The small talk must have worked. "Sure," the secretary said warmly, "He's still in. Do you want me to ask if he can see you?"

"If it's not too much trouble…"

The blonde girl shook her head slightly. Spinning on her heel, she fished her office keys out of her handbag and unlocked the door. Lois followed her quietly, somehow sensing this was the best approach to use.

The secretary used a polished fingernail to press the intercom button. "Mr. Mitchener?"

_"Yes, Ms. Peterson?"_ Mitchener's voice buzzed out of the speaker.

" Lois Lane is here to see you, sir… do you have a few moments?"

There was a perceptible pause. _"Sure… send her in."_

"Thanks," Lois whispered to her accomplice. The woman nodded and quickly slipped away and out into the hallway. Taking a deep breath, Lois turned the doorknob and went into Mitchener's office.

The gleam of the afternoon sun's rays shining through the partially shuttered windows caught on Mitchener's fair hair as he looked up. There was no other light in the room except natural light. "Good afternoon, Ms. Lane. Or should I say, almost 'Good evening.'" He gave her a cordial smile and gestured to the window. "I hope you don't mind – I find that I think better without artificial light shining in my eyes."

"It's no bother." The dim light actually seemed to soften the austere decor. "I'm sorry to bother _you_ with so little notice."

"I was quite pleased with the lovely article that you published the other day. I don't mind a bit." He gestured to the stacks of papers scattered around his desk. "I was just trying to finish a few things before I went home for the day. What did you need?"

Lois pulled her miniature recorder from her suit pocket and lifted it. At his assenting nod, she switched it on. "I was doing some research into a feature article – for the business section," she began smoothly, using the same excuse she had used earlier on Leyden. "It's common knowledge that your family has a long history here in Metropolis. Especially in business endeavors. But just how did you develop political aspirations?" As she talked, she walked slowly around the perimeter of the room, noting the various pictures and memorabilia he had placed on the walls and bookcases.

"I suppose you could say that it began in college," he began in a polished baritone, eyes fixed on her slow circuit of the room. "Although to be perfectly honest, I really felt the desire to go into politics just a few years ago."

"What exactly prompted the change?" Her fingers traced lightly along the edge of his college diploma.

"Well, as you can see, my original degree was in business administration. But after a few years I began to see that all of my family's wealth and influence could be put to better use." She half-turned to study his face. He seemed to be speaking from his heart, but Lois' trained ear could detect just the hint of a rehearsed speech in the ready-made and glib phrases. "After all, the city needs good men to help bring it to its fullest potential."

"You mentioned the idea began in college? Tell me more about that," she prompted, her eyes now resting on his framed membership certificate for Pi Kappa Alpha.

"I suppose it was there that I realized that I had a way with people. Whether I meant to or not, I always seemed to be the center of any activity. And I really enjoyed the attention, in my own callow way." He moved, and joined her by the wall, pointing out a photo almost identical to the one she had seen on the chapter website. "These guys really trusted me, were interested in my ideas… And even after we got out of college – helping them out, in whatever way I could, really gave me a sense of purpose."

"It's always nice to help a friend in need, isn't it?" She looked directly into his eyes as she went in for the kill. "I'm sure that Chase Robinson really appreciated it."

If she had been Clark, she might have detected a change in his heartbeat, a tensing of his muscles… With her ordinary human senses, she still managed to notice a slight dilation of his pupils. "And I was happy to help him."

"Even at a cost to your own business?" she inquired lightly.

His eyes narrowed at the direction this conversation was taking. He continued, his smooth voice revealing a hint of strain, "I wouldn't be much of a friend if I hadn't."

"But surely you must have worried about the allegations of scandal that Robinson and Sons had faced before you helped him out with all those contracts," she pressed. "Going into business with a company that had a history of cutting corners couldn't have been good for your fledgling company's reputation."

He moved away from her rather abruptly then, putting some distance between them as he perched on the edge of the big old-fashioned desk, behaving as if her accusation had absolutely no basis. "Maybe I was a little naïve, Ms. Lane," he said, his voice cooling slightly in temperature.

Lois was seized by determination, deciding it was time for the kid gloves to come off. "Naïve is an awfully mild term for what I suspect has happened here, Mr. Mitchener," she accused boldly, thinking of the mangled bodies at Thorne Tower, and the anguish in Clark's face. "I have it on very high authority that the substandard building materials used by Robinson and Sons may be responsible for much of the widespread destruction during and after the earthquake."

"Responsible? Surely you're not suggesting that—"

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting," Lois interrupted, a bitter edge creeping into her voice. The time for games was over. "L & V Construction, by working exclusively with Robinson and Sons, is at least partially responsible for what has happened to a number of prominent buildings in Metropolis. Are you going to step up and admit your part in it?"

In disgust, Lois turned away from the deputy mayor, who remained strangely silent behind her. She suddenly noticed the pilot's license hanging on the wall – the one that Clark had seen tucked away in a desk drawer – and leaned in for a closer look. The name listed on the license: _Philip V. Mitchener._ There was the 'V' again…

Getting a hold of herself, she tried a different tactic. "Would you go to any length to help a friend?" she asked with forced nonchalance. There was still no response from the deputy mayor, but she sensed he was watching her closely, his body growing more tense. Casually, she ran her finger along the edge of the license. "Even the ones who are in prison…?"

The air was now so still that she was sure even Clark wouldn't have heard a thing in the silent office. So it was a complete and utter shock when she felt the cold steel of a gun's muzzle poke into her shoulder blades from behind, and Mitchener's hand clamp over her mouth. His voice dropped to a smooth drawl in her ear. "I think that's enough questions, Ms. Lane."


	31. Chapter 31: Voice

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 31: Voice

Lois gripped her mini-recorder tightly and took a deep breath – she might have tried to shout, to scream around the hand clamped over her mouth – but the pistol stabbed harder into her back, and she choked it off, heart leaping to her throat.

"I would think twice about that, Ms. Lane," Mitchener warned her, his pleasant tone jarring to her ears. "The Man of Steel may be faster than a speeding bullet… but can he stop a bullet at point-blank range?"

As fast as Clark was, Lois didn't want to tempt fate by trying to find out the answer to that question. _Not now, not when I have so much to lose… my little Jason… and what would losing me do to Clark…especially after we just found our way back to each other…_ All at once, Lois wanted to _kick_ herself! _Stupid, stupid, stupid, Lane! What the hell were you thinking, turning your back on a subject? That's a rookie mistake… _

Mitchener continued to speak quietly during her mental tirade. "I'm going to remove my hand now, Ms. Lane. You will give me the recorder in your hand, and then we are going to walk _silently_ to the parking garage. Nod your head, please, if you understand."

Pulse pounding, her mind raced instantly through all the options she saw before her. She could scream anyway, and likely end up with a bullet through her chest for her trouble. She could try to elbow him in the stomach, but what if his finger instinctively squeezed the trigger? She could try to kick his feet out from underneath him, or knock the gun out of his hands, but he was staying behind her and likely well out of reach. She realized unhappily that there was very little she could do if she wanted to survive; the best option was to play along and try to buy some time. Maybe on the way down to the garage, she could find a way to make a break for it…

Lois nodded, and gingerly held the recorder behind her back. What else could she do?

Mitchener slowly removed his hand from her mouth, still clearly expecting her to try something. When she didn't, he plucked the device from her palm, switching it off with a click. He then spoke in a tight voice, "Very good, Ms. Lane. I regret the necessity of this, but please lead on. Remember, not a sound. Not even the barest whisper."

The deputy mayor kept behind her and slightly to the side as they left his office, moved through the waiting area, and went into the hall. Though stunned by this turn of events, she had the presence of mind to cooperate. _Luthor, I know how to deal with him…_she thought,_ but this guy? I thought I had figured him out, and then he pulls a gun on me! There's no telling what he'll do…_

Disgusted with her misjudgment of the man, Lois launched into a fresh round of self-recrimination. _Why _did_ you turn your back on him, Lane? Are you becoming reckless again, depending too much on your Super Safety Net?_ _No_, she argued back, _I've always been reckless… even during the time Clark was away. I regularly scared Richard to death…_

_Or is love making you soft? _

Mitchener wordlessly directed her to the stairwell by nudging her back with his gun, and they began a long descent down the dimly-lit stairs toward the basement. Lois prayed fervently that someone would happen by… For pity's sake, it was only 5:00pm! But even if someone did run across them, who would suspect good ol' Vic, 'the nicest guy you'll ever meet'? Especially when he was _so_ courteously guiding his companion down a dark staircase with a hand resting lightly on her back? Her face twisted in an annoyed grimace.

_I mean _I_ suspected him of malfeasance, graft, under the table dealings… but murder?_ It all really came down to that. No matter how much Lois and Clark had suspected of him, none of it was big enough to make a man in his high position threaten to kill her! There must be something else… something so much more…

She paused on a step, struck with the thought. _The last question I asked him was about helping friends in prison…while looking at his pilot's license. Does he think I know more than I really do? _ 'Vic' prodded her to keep moving, reminding her of the weapon at her back. So she kept walking, an odd expression stealing across her face. It was a good thing Mitchener couldn't see it from behind, or she might already be dead. Only a few people – Perry, Richard, Clark, Jimmy – really knew this look for what it was. Mad Dog Lane had caught the scent of a story.

They descended for several more floors, until they reached the basement level. "Would you be so kind as to turn the handle, Ms. Lane?" he asked pleasantly, sounding for all the world as if he were inviting her to step out for a breath of fresh air or a nice summer walk. _Could you be so kind as to throw yourself off a—_

Lois suppressed the mental jab and braced herself, thinking that the noise of the door opening might disguise a whispered call for help. _But is it worth it to try anything? _Inside, she warred between fear and curiosity. _Just _what_ is he hiding? What could be so important that he's willing to kidnap me?_ The interview was only just starting to enter aggressive territory, and a seasoned politician like Mitchener should have been able to brazen out any number of tough questions…

_No, it doesn't matter, _she decided boldly._ No story is more important than my little boy knowing that I'm safe. _She opened the door with a forceful push, deciding to risk it all anyway. But a sudden rush of air caught her off balance, making her stumble in her high heels. Her eyes widened, and she found herself hoping against hope that she would see that beloved red and blue… _Clark…?_

A second later, her heart sank. The parking garage appeared completely deserted. Several yards away was a sleek black BMW, obviously their next destination. "Now do keep walking straight ahead, Ms. Lane. That's it." Lois found herself gritting her teeth as the pleasantly patronizing tone of his voice grated on her nerves.

When they were within a few feet of the car, the trunk silently popped open, obviously controlled by an electronic key fob. The trunk was relatively empty, save for a duffel bag, a bundle of dry cleaning and a few odds and ends. Maybe he would stash her in the trunk… she _hoped_ he would. If he had to drive the car, he couldn't keep a gun on her, and he couldn't keep her from shouting for help…

"Under the duffel bag, you'll find some rope. Would you be so kind as to get it out and hand it to me," he requested. _Yes, and do you mind if I garrote you with it?_ she thought back at him, her mental tone sarcastically sweet.

But the longer the search took, the more worried she became. Hands shaking, she dug beneath the duffel bag for the rope. She hoped desperately that she would feel something that might help her escape. How long could she stall before Mitchener would get suspicious?

He came around from behind her, and she saw his pale face for the first time since her ordeal had begun. His features were taut with tension, his eyes hard. For a moment, Lois glimpsed a glint of sheer desperation in their cool depths. But his voice remained as smooth and carefully modulated as ever as he jerked the gun toward her again. "Please make haste, Ms. Lane. We haven't got all night."

Lois' fingertips brushed against the rough hemp of the rope, and she pulled it as quickly as she could from underneath the bag. He held out his open hand, until she dropped the rope nervously into it.

Keeping the gun trained on her – it looked like a .22, but she couldn't have said more – his fingers tightened around the rope. Mitchener dropped his gaze to the object in his hand, and his eyes darted between her paralyzed form and the rope several times. His eyebrows lowered in… annoyance? Confusion? Anger? Then his eyes flickered with some indefinable emotion, and his lips tightened in a grim line.

_I don't think he can figure out how to tie me up, and still keep the weapon on me_, Lois realized. Hope surged once again, and possibilities for escape branched out in a thousand different directions. _Maybe I can still make it out of here…_

The deputy mayor stepped closer to her, raising the pistol to her temple. _Or maybe not!_

"I'm sorry, Ms. Lane…" he apologized, wearing a strange, set expression on his white face, then his fingers tightened on the handle, only inches from her face.

Her eyes spasmed shut in alarm, and a primal shriek tried to rise from deep within. "CL—!"

Pain stabbed into her temple like a blazing crack of lightning, cutting off the scream before its complete utterance. And then…

* * *

Noise. It was the noise finally that woke Lois out of the whirling darkness. Her head throbbed dully, her stomach churned uneasily, and a low roar filled her ears. She could feel her body shuddering in resonance to the sound, creating sharp twinges like fire on the side her head with every vibration. The clamminess of wet cotton consumed her mouth; she tried to swallow, but nearly choked on the sticky mucus congealing at the back of her throat. _A gag?_ What an apropos term…

Keeping her eyes closed, she tried to move her limbs, and found in frustration that her wrists were tied behind her back, her ankles bound together. She twisted her wrists gently, then more firmly, until the rough fibers of the rope burned into her skin. It was just as useless to move her feet – the ankle bones ground together tightly when she moved them.

Lois finally risked opening her eyes, since they didn't seem to be covered. She was lying on the floor of some sort of small aircraft. Wincing at the pain of moving her pounding head, she slowly craned her neck to look toward the cockpit. The door was open, presumably so that Mitchener could check on her, and he sat in the pilot's chair, a set of heavy headphones over his ears. A memory stirred. How many times had she seen Richard wearing exactly the same gear on family excursions? Only this time, the faintly familiar sight filled her with fear...

_Where is he taking me?_ she wondered in agitation. All that was visible through the small section of the viewscreen was black starless sky. _Just how long have I been out? He must have pistol-whipped me. _She sucked in a breath. _It's a wonder that I'm not already dead…if he hadn't hit me in just the right way, his blow could have been fatal. So either he's had training, or I'm one lucky…_

The plane suddenly hit a patch of air turbulence, and she let out an involuntary nauseous groan around the gag. But Mitchener either ignored her, or the deafening roar of the plane's engines drowned out the small sound.

Her stomach clenched and a wave of queasiness unrelated to airsickness hit her. _I have no idea where we're going, how long I was unconscious… is Clark looking for me? How long before someone notices I'm missing… Richard? Perry? Anyone?_

The air-pressure popped in her ears, and she felt the plane begin its descent. Mitchener's light tenor broke the silence, pitched to carry over the sound of the plane. "I'm sorry for your uncomfortable position, Ms. Lane," he said, "but it couldn't be helped. No worries, though," he added almost cheerfully. "We're almost there."

_He obviously knows I'm awake, uncomfortable and in pain… the smug bastard. _He had barely done more than give her polite directions the whole time she had been his captive. If he would only say something, anything, to give her a clue about why he had kidnapped her, where they were going… She growled in helpless frustration. By keeping her silent at City Hall, unconscious in the car and gagged on the plane, he had done more than keeping her from calling for help. He had robbed her of her quick tongue, her probing questions, her _voice_…

The plane touched down unhurriedly. She swallowed again, trying unsuccessfully to clear her ringing ears and dry mouth. As soon as all movement had stopped and the engines had ceased, Mitchener roughly removed the headphones from his ears and opened the hatch. Face set in a tense expression, he warned, "Now, for your sake, Ms. Lane, let's see some good manners. No funny business when I untie your feet."

Lois thought seriously for an instant about defying him, but a glance at his white face revealed that his façade of politeness was beginning to show cracks. She didn't know _what _he might do to her if she failed… and she still didn't know why he had taken her… Her reporter's instinct for keeping a low profile when on the scent won out over her fear.

He levered her abruptly to her feet, and grasped her upper arm firmly to lead her down the stairs. When her feet were once again on solid ground, she craned her head around to look at the brightly-lit airstrip. On three sides, she could see nothing but dark pines, and before them the land tilted upward. The jagged peak of a mountain cut off the bright moon. There were no other signs of civilization, no lights in the distance in any direction…

Just before Mitchener dragged her unrelentingly toward the peak, she thought despairingly, _Where the hell am I?_


	32. Chapter 32: Guests

**A/N: Did I break it again? I hope you all find this chapter, despite the wonkiness of FFN's email service...**

**ETA: Well, it seems to be coming back now... I have Ch. 33 ready to go. It will be posted after you all get a chance to catch up! Probably Sunday morning (11/26/06). **

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Déjà Vu

Chapter 32: Guests

Lois tripped over another tree root in her high heels. Her stockings were shredded and she cursed at the scrapes and scratches that added to the pain of her already sore feet. Mitchener pushed Lois ahead of him, shining a flashlight on the dust in front of her. "Onward, Ms. Lane. Those shoes can't be very comfortable, but it can't be helped…" But neither his rough assistance nor his condescending manner were making the hike any easier. Angrily, she thought, _If it weren't for the gun at my back… _

Lois grimaced. _You would what? Make a break for it? In the middle of nowhere? _She knew that bound and gagged as she was, there was little hope that she would be found – or that she could even call for help. But her head was still pounding, she was starting to feel a little faint from the lack of food, and her throat had long since become parched, giving her tongue the consistency of sandpaper. She had already twisted her ankles at least twice on the rough dirt road…

As dizzy as she felt, she didn't even know how long they had been walking. It could have been ten minutes… it could have been an hour… it seemed interminable. _My God, is he going to just march me to death? _she thought wearily.

The battle in her mind between the impulse to escape, the need to survive this ordeal for Jason's sake, and the desire to get to the bottom of this story was raging full throttle. At this moment, although she had chosen the opposite course of action only minutes ago, she decided that the moment she even got the tiniest break, she would scream bloody murder for Clark, to hell with the consequences.

Suddenly, she broke out of the trees, with Mitchener looming behind her like an ever-present silent menace. They were in a clearing, and in the center of the clearing was a charming wooden cabin, porch light aglow.

"Here we are," Mitchener announced as he gently shoved her forward. She could hear him digging in his pockets for the keys, and then he came around to the side, making a show of the gun for her benefit. "Please move a few steps back, Ms. Lane." He gestured smoothly with the pistol. "I assure you that I have plenty of practice using this."

As Lois moved backward, desperately seeking a way out of this situation, he lifted the keys toward the lock. Then Mitchener paused and turned his head to the right, gazing at the empty gravel driveway. Lois followed his gaze with her own. For a moment, his expressionless façade slipped, a puzzled frown coming over his handsome features. Then, fleetingly, they morphed into an expression of incredulity and rage before hardening back into the rigid mask of polite indifference. Had he expected to see something there?

The keys dangled from his slack hand, glinting in the porch light. _Is this my chance? _Lois thought, and tensed her muscles, preparing to aim a kick at his fingers… but he whipped his head back toward her just in time. He fitted the key into the lock quickly, and turned it with a snap of his wrist.

As he opened the door, she could see into the room beyond. The living area was tastefully furnished with a set of dark leather armchairs and matching sofa. Placing an unwelcome hand on her upper arm, he steered her into the cottage. On the rustic wooden coffee table, Lois could see two wineglasses – one empty, one half-full – and a few used dinner dishes. There was even a smaller plate resting on the floor beside the table, a mess of half-eaten food still on it.

Mitchener stopped short again. He turned his face away from her so she couldn't see his expression, still keeping a restraining hand on her arm. _He must have guests. He must be bringing me… to… someone. _She could only imagine who that might be, and shivered.

He broke himself from his trance. "This way, Ms. Lane," he requested shortly, his polite veneer cracking, urging her ahead of him toward the back of the cabin. She craned her head around as quickly as possible trying to take a mental photograph of her surroundings… Plush floor rugs on the hardwood floor, expensive-looking wilderness paintings, a well-appointed kitchen… _What is this? Lifestyles of the Rich and Villainous? _…but she had little time to see anything else as she was hustled into a long hallway which seemed to lead back to the master bedroom.

With a more and more anxious feeling, Lois found herself at the dead end of the hallway, facing a large, heavy-looking metal door. To the right side was a small keypad – some sort of entry code must be required. _Are Mitchener's guests behind that door?_ she thought worriedly.

"Just a little farther, Ms. Lane, and then you can rest those weary feet…" Shielding the keypad with his body, he quickly tapped a series of numbers. There was a buzz and a click, and then Mitchener pulled the handle on the doorway to reveal a windowless room. As the door swung slowly open, she could hear some sort of sound coming through, but she couldn't quite make out what it was… The interior of the room was illuminated with soft track lighting, and one side was covered in pine bookshelves. A richly covered, but unmade bed sat flush against the far wall. But she could see no one inside.

As they came fully into the room, it was obvious what the sound had been. A full, throaty bass voice rang out of the speakers of a Bose CD player on the edge of one shelf:

_Pentiti, cangia vita!  
__È l'ultimo momento!_

As he registered the words, something flickered in Mitchener's eyes for a brief moment. Then he frowned again, and waved the weapon toward the bed. "Please sit, Ms. Lane." The door shut behind them automatically with a smooth click.

_No, no, ch'io non mi pento,  
__Vanne lontan da me!_

The deputy mayor stalked over to the player and shut it off with a furious jab of his finger, his face now positively stormy. Raking his free hand through his hair with a rough, impatient gesture, he stared sightlessly at the floor for a few moments.

Lois found that her curiosity was displacing her fear. Unless there was another room she hadn't seen, whoever had left the dishes, the unmade bed and the music still playing was clearly gone. And Mitchener was very unhappy to discover that fact.

As he stood there, frozen in place, Lois studied the room. In addition to the bookcases and bed, there was a small table flanked by two small leather armchairs, several wooden crates lining the opposite wall, a kitchenette, a large wardrobe and a nightstand. And on that nightstand was a highball glass, melting ice cubes and the dregs of a brownish liquid at the bottom. There was still condensation on the outside of the glass, another sign that the room had been abandoned quickly... and recently.

At the sight of the glass, her raging thirst came back with a vengeance. It didn't matter that this glass obviously had belonged to someone else, right now, Lois would have lapped water from a dirty puddle if it meant that she could get the dry, sticky feeling out of her throat.

Mitchener lifted his head and turned his attention back to her suddenly. She jerked her head toward the glass in supplication. He shook himself slightly. "I'm terribly sorry, Ms. Lane, what a rude host I've been." He walked quickly over to the kitchenette, took a glass out of the cupboard, and filled it with water from the small sink. She wanted to jump up and kick him, but a dizzy spell hit her again as she realized afresh how thirsty she was.

When he walked over to set the glass on the nightstand and then began to remove her gag, Lois almost couldn't believe her luck. She tensed, her mind racing. _What's the catch? Is he really going to… _When the gag finally came away from her mouth, she saw that it was some sort of… torn sleeve?

With her hands tied, Mitchener had to hold the glass to her lips. It was humiliating to have to accept this help from her captor, but she took a long gulping drink, wondering if it would be her last, but feeling at least some energy coming back into her body. And then finally the moment that she had been waiting for came. As soon as the glass left her lips, Lois sucked in a deep breath and screamed as loudly as she could, "SUPERMAN!!"

Lois braced herself, expecting to be backhanded at the very least, or possibly shot, but fervently praying for the longed-for rush of wind… But there was absolutely no result. No Superman… no violent reaction from Mitchener.

She looked up at him, eyes defiant, but with a hint of question in them as well.

Her captor regarded her with that annoyingly superior look on his face again. "Glad you got that off your chest. You've probably been waiting to do that for a while," he commented blandly, although his face was beginning to gleam with sweat. "As much good as that will do you… not here…" Mitchener gestured indifferently around him. "_He_ made very sure that this would be a safe hiding place." He then moved the water away from her to set back on the counter, with the air of punishing a naughty child.

"How?" Lois' voice croaked out, raspy with lack of use. She had almost asked, _From_ _whom?_ but at the last moment had managed to bite back the betraying question. She still wanted to say more, such as: _What do you mean by 'he'? Why won't shouting do any good? Why is this place 'safe'?_ But she had to try to keep the impression that she really_ did_ know more than she actually did, hoping to trick him into giving something away while pretending she had it all figured out.

"Oh, please don't be coy, Ms. Lane. You know as well as I do that there is only one way to keep a place off of Superman's radar."

_He's soundproofed this room… and lined it with lead?_ Lois could hardly believe that the man had gone to so much trouble, unless… Her eyes widened… _He knew that he had to be safe from Superman…_

But the timeline didn't make sense! Superman had only returned to Earth a few weeks ago – the time it would take to soundproof a room and line it with lead… How long had he been prepared for this? More than five years?

Suddenly the clues coalesced in her mind. Two plates, two wineglasses, Italian opera playing in a soundproofed bedroom… _Oh, my God… Had Luthor been _here? _And with his girlfriend, that Kitty person?_ She had to keep Mitchener talking, to try to get as much information from him before he decided to gag her again, or… She swallowed, throat still too dry. _Or before he shuts me up more permanently._ Her heart heaved in her chest as Jason's, Clark's, and even Richard's faces swam through her mind.

"Why go to all this trouble? I'm sure that you didn't take all these precautions just for little old me." Although she was almost certain exactly who they were talking about, she bluffed her way ahead. Mitchener, she now saw, had made a colossal blunder in seizing her, clearly thinking she knew more about his mysterious guest than she did. Well, she wasn't about to disabuse her kidnapper of that notion at the risk of enraging him. "He couldn't have known that I would find out about you." Her thoughts were racing and whirling with half-formed questions. She hoped desperately that she could get Mitchener to say something to confirm her suspicions about his involvement with Luthor. Obviously it went much further than they'd ever suspected. He was what… hiding him? Helping him escape both the law and Superman? Her blood boiled at the thought of the wreckage all over the city, the collapsed buildings, and the trapped people, dying too quickly for even Superman to rescue them.

Mitchener shrugged dismissively, refusing to give anything away. "Everyone knows about your close relationship with Superman. Protecting this place from him just happens to have a double benefit. He did, however, warn me about how nosy and persistent you are." Still holding the gun carefully in his right hand, he turned away from her and walked over to the wardrobe, opening the doors. She saw his back stiffen in alarm, and his fists clench at his sides, as he began muttering something softly under his breath. Over his shoulder, she could see that there was nothing inside but a few hangers dangling askew on the rod.

"I take it you were expecting to find someone here, Mitchener?" she called to him, not able to resist the jab.

He paused for a beat, and when he turned back to her again, he looked like he was straining to keep his composure. "Oh, don't worry about me, Miss Lane. I can handle unexpected situations." There was a barely perceptible note of sarcasm and false bravado in his response. "I was simply hoping to get some… advice."

"But instead _he_ … left you in the lurch?" she continued to needle him.

His eyes narrowed with annoyance. "It's none of your business." He began to tidy up the kitchenette, turning away from her once more. He was too far away, and she was still feeling too dizzy, to try to attack him… with her feet anyway.

_Well, as long as he's leaving the gag off,_ she thought,_ I might as well take a chance…_ "You know, when I first started looking into L & V Construction, I had a feeling that the company had some sort of connection to the building collapses all over Metropolis." She leaned forward, trying to catch a glimpse of his face. "A feeling that there had been gross misconduct… or mismanagement somewhere…" He kept his back to her, and she plunged forward. "When I discovered that you were one of the owners of the company, I immediately suspected that under-the-table deals were made, maybe building code restrictions relaxed…"

Still no response. Lois ground her teeth in frustration. He must have decided the silent treatment was safest.

"But the company's name… from the beginning, my partner and I wondered if maybe a certain well-known criminal might be involved…" In a flash of intuition, a thought hit her, and as crazy as it was, she spoke it aloud. "I would hate to think that with what almost happened to Metropolis, that these building inconsistencies were… intentional… and the collapses deliberate."

He whirled and rushed back to her before she could even react. She caught a flash of panic in his eyes as he leaned over her. Then, snatching the makeshift gag from the bed, he tied it tightly around her mouth again, all pretense of politeness gone. "Everything he warned me about you is true, but I didn't really believe it until now. You are even more…" Mitchener yanked the gag extra tight with each word, "…_annoying_ and _pushy_ than he told me you were, Ms. Lane."

The deputy mayor dragged her roughly to a chair, and with a strength born of self-preservation, roughly tied her fighting feet to each leg individually. As she struggled vainly, he wrapped her chest several times with a cord, her hands still pinioned painfully behind her. His forced composure earlier was gone, and now he seemed dangerously unstable.

Mitchener then pulled a small device from his pocket and pointed it toward the door. It popped open with a click, and she noticed with alarm that there was no handle or knob on her side of the door.

"I've had a change of plans," he said curtly. "I _will_ be back for you – after I've made some _preparations_." He went through the door, pausing in the threshold, one finger poised over the light switch. "All of these 'precautions'… as you termed them… have become necessary after all."

The lights snapped off, blinding her for an instant, and the door clicked shut, sealing her into what felt like a vault. When her eyes adjusted, she realized that the room wasn't pitch black, despite the lack of windows. She twisted her neck around toward the light source, and her heart nearly stopped.

Emanating from the row of open crates along the wall was a sickly greenish glow.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**A/N: The Italian lyrics come from Mozart's _Don Giovanni_, the penultimate scene of Act II.**


	33. Chapter 33: Searching

**A/N: Grab a tall drink and settle in, folks. This one's a long one!**

**And if you missed Ch. 32 (email alerts were down for a week), go back and read that now! And review... pretty please? Thank you to everyone who found the chapter anyway! I hope all of my fellow Americans had a great Thanksgiving! I know I did.**

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 33: Searching

Lois' eyelids flickered open and shut, the green glow beginning to sear a red shadow onto her retinas. It was getting very difficult to keep her eyes open. She fought with every fiber of her being any lapse into unconsciousness, but it would be so easy to succumb…

Her sense of time was totally shot. Not only did she have no idea how long she had been out on the airplane, but now she had absolutely no idea how long she had been sitting there in the dark. She didn't even have a ticking clock to measure the time by. All she was aware of was the steady dehydration in her body and loss of strength in her limbs.

_Clark__… _she thought weakly, _it's not fair that I might lose you just when we're finally getting our lives together… _Her eyes began to flutter closed again. _Why did it take us so many years finally to get it right? _

Her head slumped into the leather headrest of the armchair as she lost the battle for consciousness to a swirl of dreams, snatches of conversation and memories…

The first time Lois ever laid eyes on him, it was as Clark. Some hayseed mama's boy slumped against the opposite wall of Perry's office, trying to move in on her territory – not that he stood a chance…

_"Are there any more at home like you?" _

_"Not really, no..." _

It was so easy to dismiss him – what a laughable first impression he had made. But even now, her subconscious mind was bringing out all the clues she had once missed…

_"Really, Lois. Supposing that man had shot you? Is it worth risking your life over ten dollars, two credit cards, a hairbrush, and a lipstick? I mean..." _

_"How did you know that?" _

_"Know what?" _

_"You just described the exact contents of my purse." _

_"Wild guess."_

She'd always had a million snappy retorts for him, brushed him aside with grace on her way to tweeze a few answers from the president. In fact, no man could avoid her facile tongue, until…

_"Easy now, Miss. I've got you." _

_"You've got me? Who's got _you_?"_

Tongue-tied and awestruck, she had watched him leave, rising into the air like a thing of beauty. Her fantasies had started right then and there. With clear understanding, her mind's eye could see through Clark's pretended disbelief about the abilities of her rescuer to detect his interest in knowing what she really thought of him.

The romantic interview on her balcony… their first flight… Lois was feeling so over the moon that she hardly remembered the dinner with Clark afterward, even at the most expensive place in town. She wondered what he had thought of her then…

Sometime between then and Superman's first encounter with Lex Luthor, he had truly separated into two completely different men for Lois. He might have been content to save her life over and over again until the end of time with nothing but a worshipful gaze in return, but somehow something changed…

The memories began to course through her even faster – she had replayed her recovered memories from Niagara to the fateful kiss at the _Planet_ a thousand and one times during this last week – but even so, everything in the past five years flew across her vision with blinding speed, pausing only briefly on the milestones. Superman's disappearance. Clark's seeming like an afterthought. Meeting Richard. Jason's birth. Their joys over his development and worries over his health. The airplane rescue, and Superman's teasing repetition of his words to her about the safety of air travel. The ordeal on the _Gertrude_…

Almost like a movie running in slow motion, her mind paused on the look of wicked avarice on Luthor's face as he processed the notion that Jason might be Superman's son—

Suddenly, the piano crashed through the walls of her mind like a subliminal anvil, obliterating Luthor's terrifying visage, with its chilling, serpentine smile. She found herself sealed in the galley with Jason, his small hand slowly reaching toward the handle. At any moment, the door would burst open, Richard on the other side…

_Slam!_

The door was _kicked_ open, flying right off its hinges into a nearby wall. Clark, in one of his ridiculous oversized suits and glasses, rushed into the room, taking both of them into his strong arms. Memory blended into the dream, and she sighed in relief that her protector, her love, was here to save them.

As they clung to each other, a sound filled her ears in the dream. Footsteps… drawing ever closer, inexorable. _Thud. Thud. Thud._ Clark's head snapped up toward the sound; Jason's eyes grew wide with terror. Clark brought them to their feet, muscles tensing in preparation for flight. _Thud. Thud. Thud._

Lex Luthor slid into the doorway, the green glow of the pure kryptonite in his hand reflecting in his cold, lifeless eyes, making them look like nothing more than reptilian slits… Clark slowly began to sink to his knees, head bowed and a shaking Jason soon joined him, as Luthor stalked ever closer with the deadly mineral… _Thud. Thud. Thud._

_Thud!_

All at once, Lois snapped awake fully from her nightmare, shivering with the realization that the sound she was hearing was real. Someone was pounding on the heavy door, with enough force that she could hear it even through the soundproofing.

Was it…? It must be… _Clark!_ She wanted to shout, _I'm in here, save me!_ But then her terrified mind added, still overwhelmed by the dream she had just experienced, _Be careful! There's kryptonite! Get the door open and get out of its range!_ But the gag and the soundproofed room made any warning impossible.

The pounding suddenly stopped. A quiet beeping sound emanated from a metal plate to the side of the doorway, and then the door popped open with a click. In a blur of color and a rush of wind, the lights blazed to life again, and she found herself enclosed in the circle of Clark's arms. The door shut behind him in the backdraft.

"Oh, thank God," he breathed, burying his lips in her hair. He held her that way for a few moments, seeming to drink in her smell and feel.

Lois couldn't resist sinking into him, feeling safe for an instant before she snapped back to life. All her muscles tensed. _Clark__! The kryptonite…! _she shouted mentally.

He released her with great reluctance, and pulled back, saying, "I'll have you out of these in no time." As he snapped her bonds like sewing thread, she realized for once that the broad 'S' on his uniform was not inspiring her with wild hope and sure faith… but was instead filling her with sheer terror – for him.

The gag came off with an effortless flick of his wrist. "Superman…" she croaked out in warning, but she hardly had time to breathe before his lips caught hers firmly in a breathtaking kiss.

The kiss felt more potent than they had yet shared. She was overwhelmed, her senses reeling beyond thought. His large, powerful hands drew her torso forward to meld against his, and she automatically wrapped her now-unfettered arms around his neck. A warm sensation started uncoiling deep inside her pelvis, and it flooded her limbs, sending her mind tumbling along a wave of memories of other kisses shared. But none could compare to the intensity of this, as they clung to each other, completely blocking out the world around them…

_The kryptonite!_ shouted Lois' saner side, and she broke contact, drawing in a gasping breath. "We've got to get out of here! There's…"

But Lois could see by his gaze toward the crates that he had already noted its presence. "...kryptonite. I felt a sharp twinge when I first entered the room, but seeing you there, still alive…" He shut his eyes and let out a noisy breath, sweat beginning to gleam on his face. "It looks to me like it's some of the detritus from New Krypton that fell away as I lifted it into space. Not the pure form that Luthor stabbed me with. It should be okay…" He visibly steadied himself, exhaling again and releasing her. Then Clark shot a glance at the closed door, and seemed to observe the absence of a handle for the first time. His brows drew together in consternation.

Following his fixed stare, Lois commented, "Mitchener used a remote control to open the door… Can't you just… tear it off or something?"

"I could…" he began, and then a touch of wry humor entered his voice, "…if you don't mind exploding into a million pieces."

"What?" she asked, her heart leaping to her throat.

He nodded gravely, serious again. "As I was studying the control mechanism, I saw wires leading into the lead-lined wall. Wires of the type used to activate a bomb. It could be just a silent alarm… I can't be sure, because the lead is blocking my X-ray vision, but I wouldn't want to test it in this enclosed space." He walked over to the metal control plate beside the door, and seemed to scan it.

"A bomb wouldn't hurt you, though. Couldn't you just cover me with your cape…?"

"And destroy any evidence in the process? Mitchener was a lot cleverer than I gave him credit for. Why do you think he grabbed you?"

"I don't know, but I think this whole business with L & V is much more far-reaching than we ever suspected."

Clark responded, "He made an error in judgment then, probably…"

He had mentioned Luthor only moments ago, but it was just then that she realized he didn't know her suspicions yet… "Luthor! I think they're working together."

Clark's eyes, already squinting a little as he concentrated, narrowed further. "I should have known." He sighed. "Are you sure?" He kept his back to her as he resumed his scan.

She started to walk toward him. "Someone was here, and it looked like they'd fled the scene very quickly. No car in the driveway, dirty dishes left out, unmade bed…" She ticked off the clues on her fingers. "Mitchener was very upset, but the final straw seemed to be the opera music…"

Clark finished his scan, and shook his head. "It's wired from this side as well." He put a weary hand to his forehead. Lois noted with concern that his face seemed paler than it had a moment ago, his movements somehow slower and more deliberate, as though they took real effort. Was the kryptonite, even in its weaker form, beginning to affect him more strongly now? "Opera?"

Lois closed the remaining space between them, wrapping an arm around his waist to lead him farther away from the crates. "Something Italian, I think. He seemed very annoyed by it, and stopped the music." As they passed the CD player, Clark halted, touching the pause button, and the voice boomed out again. She could now hear that there were two voices, one lower and commanding, the other higher and arrogant sounding:

_Pentiti, scellerato! – No, vecchio infatuato! _

_Pentiti! – No!... No!... _

_Si! – No! – Si, si! – No, no! _

_Ah, tempo più non v'è! _

A grim smile turned up the corners of Clark's mouth. "No wonder he was upset… this is definitely a message from Luthor." He paused the music again, and leaned heavily against the bookcase.

"You recognize it?" Lois didn't know why she was surprised; he seemed to be full of surprises these days.

"Not all farmboys listen to country music, you know…" he kidded her gently, his blue eyes warm with affection. "I grew to enjoy opera during my early travels. And I can tune into radio frequencies at will. But even without knowing that this comes from the hellfire scene in _Don Giovanni_…" He blushed faintly despite his ever more pallid features. "I am fluent in most world languages – comes with the eidetic memory."

"What was the message?" she asked curiously, helping him to sit on the floor at the farthest spot on the opposite wall from the crates of poison.

"It's a scene between Don Giovanni – Don Juan – and the statue of the commander he murdered to hide one of his affairs," Clark replied, as he was lowering himself, slowly and painfully, to the floor. "The statue comes to life, takes his hand and commands him to repent…" His eyes traveled upward as he recited the lyrics in translation, "'Repent, miscreant!' 'No, you driveling dotard!'... They argue for a few lines… 'Ah, the time has run out!'… and in the next section, the statue drags Don Giovanni down to Hell."

"What a bastard…" Lois shook her head, smiling grimly at Luthor's slippery wit. "I think Mitchener believed he was a full partner in this scheme… but as usual he's the only one left with dirty hands here."

"And with a reminder of his damnation from a gloating Luthor to boot." Clark's words ended in a low groan – the kryptonite had weakened him more than she would have thought possible in such a short time.

She gently mopped his brow with her sleeve. "Are you all right? I'm sure we'll figure out something… Does anyone know where you went?" She swallowed. "Does Richard know?"

"Yes... Don't worry. He'll be nearly here in the plane by now. He was only going to explain the situation to the police, first." He moved his hand to cover hers where it was now resting on his shoulder. Then he winced, and curled in on himself. "But he won't know the door code – I used infrared vision to determine the most frequently-pressed keys… and used my super-speed to try all of the permutations…" His eyes turned sadder as he tried to apologize, "Lois, I'm sorry. I should never have let that door fall shut. I'm afraid that my judgment where you are concerned is not the best ..."

"It'll be fine, don't worry, love," she tried to assure him, trying to hold her rampant fear and desperation in check for his sake. Lois could see that the only thing keeping him coherent was their conversation. As tired and weak as she was, she knew she had to be the strong one this time. "Tell me how you found me," she cajoled, stroking his hair with one hand.

He coughed, and smiled faintly as he saw through her ploy. "When I got back to the _Planet_ after finishing my flyovers, it was about 5:00pm. Your desk was empty, and so was Richard's, but that didn't seem odd to me. I figured you had gone to pick up Jason, and just hadn't returned yet. You might have even gone together, to tell him about the separation…"

Lois' hand stopped its caresses for a moment, and she looked away, a pang of unease in her stomach. _Jason still has no idea about how his life is going to be turned upside-down…_ She deliberately put aside that thought, telling herself, _Let's get through this crisis before worrying about the next…_ "Go on."

"When Richard returned alone with Jason, I thought it was strange… I pulled Jimmy aside. 'Off on a lead, Clark. You know how Miss Lane is – better than anyone, I bet…' he insinuated – but then Perry suddenly ordered him into his office before I could find out what he meant by that…"

"He knows about us." She could feel Clark tense. At the alarm in his eyes, she added quickly. "About our relationship and the break-up. Nothing else, I swear."

He relaxed slightly, and continued. "About this time, Jason bounded over to me, Richard following at a distance. I gave Jason a quick hug, but I could tell that it bothered Richard, so I just asked the little guy how his day went while I waited to see if his… father… would join us."

_And thus begins the first of many awkward family moments,_ Lois thought sardonically.

"I gathered up my courage and asked Richard where you were. He said that you hadn't told him exactly where you were headed – only that it had to do with the story we're working on." Clark looked up at her earnestly, then. "I'll tell you this much, he was remarkably calm about it… although he was beginning to be very tense. He must have been holding himself tightly in-check around Jason. But Jason picked up on it anyway."

"The munchkin's always been insightful," she put in.

"He looked between the two of us, and asked, 'Is Mommy okay?' We both assured him that you were fine and that you'd be back soon. Richard took him into his office to color, and I started to type up the first of the 'Superman interviews' about the buildings of Metropolis for Perry…" His face darkened as he continued. "The problem is worse than we feared, Lois. I noticed evidence of eroded foundations, and weakened support structures in several other prominent buildings around town, two built by that Ottman Enterprises, and the rest… four or so others by L & V Construction."

Lois inhaled sharply. "I have reason to believe it might have been a deliberate plan… when I suggested it, Mitchener almost lost it. If Luthor's disappearance hadn't thrown him for such a loop… I think I'm lucky to be alive."

His weakened voice shook with horror. "But why would Mitchener… even under Luthor's influence… plan something like this deliberately?"

"That I still don't know…"

Clark clenched his fists in frustration. "I can't believe that while I was searching for him the world over, he was hiding just a couple hundred miles from Metropolis." He cleared his throat. "Anyway… an hour passed, then two. I finished the article, turned it in with both our names on it. There was nothing more to do without you being there… Jason was getting antsy, Richard more and more annoyed. Even you usually check in every couple of hours. I had already found your car still in the _Planet_ parking garage… So I took out my cell phone, and dialed your number. It rang through to your voice mail. I left a short message. Then I listened for your voice… your heartbeat…" Clark swallowed and squeezed her hand. "It just… wasn't there."

"Oh, Clark…" she sympathized, squeezing back.

"It was like my stomach dropped out and hit the floor. I was in Richard's office before I realized it… I might have used super-speed, I don't even know. He was not happy to see me, but something changed when he saw my face. 'It's Lois, isn't it?' he verified.

"'She's not answering her phone… and…' I lowered my voice, for Richard's benefit, since he doesn't know that Jason knows about me, '…I can't hear her… at all.'" Clark started to shake, trembling with the effort to stay conscious, and he slid down involuntarily, unable to hold himself upright any longer, until his head was resting in her lap.

He took a deep breath before continuing. "'Not even with…' He pointed to his ear. All I could do was numbly shake my head. Then a thought struck me suddenly.

"I asked him, 'Could you please call Lois' cell? And keep trying and letting it ring? I have an idea.'"

"'But you said she wasn't answering. And if you can't even hear her…'"

"'Please,' I begged him. He did it, even though he was clearly confused by my request. As soon as I heard the sound, I ran for the stairwell. When I was out of sight, I shot into the air. Thank God you haven't changed that ringtone, Lois. I found the phone, and your purse, on the side of the freeway."

"So _that's_ where it went…" Mitchener must have dumped it out of the window on the way to the airstrip.

"Yes, but you were nowhere to be found, and there was no other evidence anywhere. The only thing I could do was return to the _Planet_." He shifted uncomfortably, and she moved to place his head on her chest, closer to the beating heart he had worried about so much. "When I returned, purse in hand, Richard knew what I had feared since listening for you. Something was _terribly_ wrong."

Lois kept quiet, rubbing a hand along his back below the wide cape.

"We emptied your purse out onto the desk. The recorder was missing, but your wallet untouched. Then we found your notes."

"The notes!" she exclaimed a tiny bit too loudly. _Mitchener must not have searched my purse, or else my handwriting made the information indecipherable._

"Yes," he smiled, "your badly misspelled, coffee-stained, chicken-scratch notes. At first it looked like nothing but a list of names… with the words 'friend,' 'help,' 'bankruptcy,' 'prison,' and 'L.L.' None of it rang any bells with me about our research…"

"I got a call this afternoon… very enlightening…"

"Richard and I puzzled at it a while, and then Richard asked, 'What could the connection be between all these names?' I looked again at the title: ' Mich. frend Laidan.'"

"I think that ' Mich' must be 'Mitchener'… perhaps these are all friends of his?' Richard immediately went online, and I dashed over to your computer. Luckily, your password was still _'imalwaysaround'_…"

She poked him teasingly in the side. "Excuse me for having _other_ issues to deal with lately."

That drew a small laugh out of him. She took it as a good sign. As serious as this situation was, she had to keep his mind off of the kryptonite as much as she could.

"It took me several minutes of searching, but I found the _Pi Kappa Alpha_ photo saved on your hard drive. By the time it was printing, Richard had a list of possibilities on his screen as well. He told me, 'The only one I can't find a connection with Mitchener is Robby…' and suddenly the name Chase Robinson in the caption of the photo struck a chord in my memory."

"'Try Chase Robinson,' I told him. The moment the screen brought up the article on Mitchener's exclusive deal with his company, I was out of the office again, speeding to City Hall.

"I was only in the building for a few seconds before I _knew_ for a fact that you had been there. I've always loved the scent of your favorite shampoo. The trail led to Mitchener's office and out to the garage. But I couldn't figure out what had happened… I considered trying to get the security tapes… but it would be so time consuming! And too many hours had already passed."

Lois sighed. "I'm not sure you would have seen anything helpful, anyway. He kept the gun close at my back the whole time, and he never told me where we were going."

"Just then, Richard called and asked me what I'd found. I told him you had been there, but were now gone. He said he'd found some interesting information."

The farther into the retelling he got, the more amazed Lois was at the way the two men had worked together to find her, putting aside their differences for her sake. _Most women are lucky if they have the love of one good man their entire lives,_ she marveled. _Somehow, I managed to find two of them…_ She wiped some more sweat from Clark's forehead, and sent out a silent plea to Richard, wherever he was now, _Please get here soon…_

Clark's voice was become fainter now. "I must have looked a wreck with all my recent comings and goings, not to mention that I was half out of my mind with anxiety over your safety. But Richard never brought it up, never threw your danger in my face. By now, Jason was a quiet bundle in the corner of the room, rocking slightly back and forth with worry. Richard and I kept trying to reassure him that everything would be fine, but… Finally, Richard took him on his lap and just held him." At that last detail, Clark got a far away look in his eye.

"Oh, my poor baby…" she murmured, meaning both of them.

"But we finally had a breakthrough. Richard remembered I had talked to him about the hidden pilot's license in Mitchener's office. He had pulled up a list of private airstrips and cross-referenced it with all Mitchener family holdings," Clark said, a touch of amazement in his voice. "He had it narrowed down to several possible locations. While he worked to try to narrow the list further, I did a super-scan of the archives… and I ran across a write-up in the Style section of the _Planet_ back in the 1930s. The Mitcheners had a resort cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains… and it was on Richard's list. Somehow I knew this was it." He coughed again, and this time she noticed with dawning horror that a few flecks of blood dotted the corners of his mouth.

But he plowed on with his story, and telling it seemed to give him renewed strength. "Richard volunteered to fly me here – there's a lake within walking distance – just in case it was a trap for me. I knew he was right that it could very well be a trap, but I felt time was of the essence. I didn't know whether a second could mean the difference between life and death for you…" He licked pale, bloodless lips. "He vowed to follow in the plane, just in case. 'I'll find someone to watch Jason… he doesn't need to get caught in the middle again. Go find her, Clark.'"

He was almost whispering as he finished. "When I got here, and discovered a portion of the house I couldn't see into, I knew I had found you. I left a brief voicemail for Richard, opened the door, and… there you were." He closed his eyes, smiling faintly with relief.

"Just hang on, Clark. Hang on," she pleaded. _Where are you, Richard?_ she added despairingly.

Just then, the beeps she had heard before Clark's entrance sounded from the control plate beside the door. Lois turned toward the opening doorway and flinched in fear.

Leveling his pistol at the two of them, hair and eyes completely wild, was the deputy mayor.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Thanks to Kala Lane-Kent and Maryse Bardolph for helping me kick my Muse into gear the other night. :)**


	34. Chapter 34: Deep

**A/N: This chapter comes with 'The Tayler Warning': Might cause choking, loss of breath, and severe twitching. You have been warned.**

**A big hug goes out to those of you who encouraged me as I struggled with a couple of bad weeks and lack of inspiration. Thank you!**

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 34: Deep

Mitchener stood in the doorway, his fair hair falling untidily in a demented halo around his head, eyes red-rimmed and glazed. Lois saw at once that whatever he had been up to in the hours while he was gone had changed him from smooth politician to desperate man.

For an instant, the pistol drooped in his palm. "Superman…?" he rasped disbelievingly.

Lois gently extricated herself from beneath Clark and slowly rose to a standing position. She lifted her chin boldly in order to keep herself from trembling. "Mr. Mitchener, you don't want to do this…" she began in a strong, reassuring voice.

"How did…?" Mitchener shook his head as he threw a bewildered glance quickly at the crates full of kryptonite. A frightening glint came into his eyes, and he gripped the gun tighter, steadying his aim directly on Lois. His voice dropped to its smooth gentlemanly register. "It doesn't matter. He may have gotten in, but he won't get out again so easily."

She held up a placating hand toward him. "Think about this for a minute. You could kill us, true." _Okay, maybe that's not the right tactic, Lane, but too late now…_ "But then you'd have to find a way to dispose of _both_ of us – and get rid of the evidence." She took small, slow steps toward him as she talked, keeping her voice as evenly modulated as possible. As an afterthought, she added mildly, "And if Superman found me, even with all of these vaunted 'precautions,' don't you think the authorities might be close behind?"

Blind anger blazed in Mitchener's eyes then, and he jerked the weapon toward her. "Enough with the goddamned questions!" A hysterical note crept into his voice. "I'm tempted to shoot you right now, if it would shut you up!" He was fairly shaking with rage, snarling, "They might be, they might not be! And since when does Superman need backup?"

In the corner, Clark groaned softly. Lois felt a stab of panic at the sound. _How far gone is he now? Can he hear us, even through the pain…? Or worse, can he hear everything, but finds himself helpless in his ever-weakening body…?_

"Do you want to take that chance?" Lois tried to keep the desperation she was feeling out of her voice, as she stepped cautiously ever closer. She had to keep Mitchener from shooting them, to hold him off until Richard could get there. And she knew that poor Clark, moaning there on the floor behind her, was no more bulletproof right now than she was.

"Now _what_—" Mitchener started to shout before deliberately calming his voice, "What did I say about those _questions_?"

Lois took one more careful step toward the deputy mayor to be sure that her body was fully blocking Superman from the line of fire. Then she covered her mouth with her hand, eyebrows rising in what she hoped looked like surrender.

Mitchener's grim smile looked almost like a grimace. "That's better. It will make this much easier…" His eyes drifted over to the prone form of Superman on the other side of the room, and his voice began to shake again. "I—I really should have known he'd show up…" He ran his left hand through his hair roughly, further disheveling the careful coif she had only ever seen him wear until today. "L—" He stopped the word, eyes darting toward her, and then he bared his teeth, finishing the word in a growl. "_Lex_… warned me that once you started sticking your nose into this situation with L & V, it would be all over… but I didn't believe him…"

Lois tried to stay composed at this confirmation of her deepest worries and suspicions. _So I was right… Lex Luthor _was _involved… _She felt a tiny surge of pride mixed with fear. _Luthor thinks that highly of my skills?_ Then she remembered Jason, and a jolt of fire entered her veins. _Well, you'd better enjoy your freedom for now, you bastard. With Lane and Kent on the job, there's _no way_ you'll be able to hide for long._

Mitchener was growing angry again, feet frozen in the open doorway. "I should never have believed him! What a stupid, childish mistake…" To Lois, his mood seemed dangerously volatile… one moment jittery, the next calm and collected, and then seething with rage. She fought to keep her head in the face of this whirlwind before her, heart pounding harder than ever. He continued, eyes focused on the Man of Steel, "…a mistake I intend to _correct_…"

Suddenly, her heart caught in her throat. Behind Mitchener, Lois caught sight of the face that she had been hoping to see. She felt a wave of relief roll through her. Carefully, Richard moved into view, treading on the floorboards nearly soundlessly. Their eyes met. His were bloodshot, but filled with determination. She could only imagine what hers were showing…

Richard brought a finger to his lips – but Lois didn't need the warning. She realized she couldn't react at all to his presence without possibly giving him away. She hastily cut her eyes back to Mitchener, and a split second later, his attention was on her again. He swallowed, and appeared to try to steady himself. "Well, Ms. Lane. It seems my plans have become a little more… _complicated_…" He thumbed the safety off and quickly pulled the gun's slide back. The pistol made a small but very deliberate _snick_ as he cocked it. Lois's eyes widened and her breath caught as she saw Mitchener's index finger slip inside the trigger guard.

Several things seemed to happen all at once.

In a rush of motion, Richard tackled Mitchener, trying to wrest the deputy mayor's arms behind his back. Mitchener jerked his arm askew to fight off his attacker… and the gun fired with a deafening explosion of sound. Lois shook her head to try to clear her ears of the noise, and saw that chance she had been waiting for since the beginning of this nightmare.

With a swift kick of her ruined heels, she knocked Mitchener's gun from his hand. The weapon cracked against the wall, bounced off and skittered to a stop a few feet away. Lois quickly snatched the gun from the floor, just as Richard was pinning Mitchener to the floor.

Lois pointed the gun directly at the deputy mayor's head, somehow able to keep her arms steady, despite the adrenaline coursing through them. "Stay down!" she shouted fiercely. "I know how to use a gun. Don't think I won't shoot you if you so much as twitch!"

Lois risked a look back at Clark, still slumped against the wall. At once, her heart stopped and her stomach roiled painfully in what felt like another backflip. Blooming across the royal blue fabric, just above and to the left of the 'S' shield, was a dark crimson stain. _The wild shot must have ricocheted and hit him!_

"Richard!" Lois jerked her head wildly toward the fallen superhero, who had not made even one sound of pain at the wound. "Get Superman out of this room. _Please. _There's kryptonite!"

Richard looked over at the crates, noticing them for the first time. He nodded shortly and moved quickly over to Clark's terrifyingly still form. Mitchener started to rise up on his elbows, and Lois took aim and pumped a bullet into the parquet flooring only inches from his hand. Splinters showered across his forearms. Even to her ears, her voice had a dangerous edge. "I _said_… Don't even twitch!"

"Lois…" Richard warned, hefting Clark up carefully under his arms. She began to cast Richard an unapologetic look, but then her eyes fell on Clark, whose head was lolling to the side as Richard dragged him toward the door. _Is he unconscious? Or worse…?_ She looked back at Mitchener, now curled up on the floor and muttering something incoherent. Her eyes narrowed vindictively. _I should have drilled a hole in that baby-soft, manicured hand…_

As Richard, who was moving slowly and breathing heavily with his massive burden, got close to the doorway, she realized that the deputy mayor's cowering body was still keeping the door ajar. She couldn't let it fall shut again… Making a wide circle around him, she caught the edge of the door in her free hand, and ordered, pistol gleaming in the light, "Give them room."

She was almost disappointed when he didn't argue, scooting carefully away from the door. Richard, grunting with effort, slowly dragged Clark all the way into the hallway, smearing a trail of bright blood in their wake.

As his red boots cleared the doorway and moved out of sight, Lois' heart clenched. If not for the sleazeball still in front of her, she would be out there with him… The sound of dragging ended. "Richard! Is he all right?" she called over her shoulder frantically.

"I can't tell right now. There's a lot of blood, Lois…" Richard sounded uncertain, helpless.

Lois felt a rush of furious anger, and her hand tightened around the handle of the gun. A murderous red haze was clouding her mind. _Lord help me, if Clark doesn't come out of this okay…_ She gave an inarticulate growl of frustration out loud. _But we need him alive in order to pin this destruction on him_, she reminded herself._ And he's the only link we have to Luthor right now._ "Richard, could you please come and take over for me?" She let a wicked edge enter her voice as she added, "I'm not sure I can trust myself not to _accidentally_ wing him."

Brow furrowed with concern, Richard came into the doorway, and slipped the gun out of her palm with a smooth motion. Their eyes met, and his were soft with a concern and compassion that tugged at her heart. He spoke in a low voice, for her ears alone. "It looks bad, Lois. I checked for a pulse… but I don't even know if his heart works the same way…" He shook his head. "How long do you think he can last?"

"Once he's away from the kryptonite…" Emotion prevented her from finishing the sentence. Blinking back the tears that threatened, Lois gave Richard's shoulder a grateful squeeze. Then she raced to Clark's side. Kneeling beside him, she tried to inspect the wound, tearing the thin fabric of his blood-stained suit away from it with her fingernails. Richard was right, there was _a lot_ of blood. But the wound was deep, and she had no idea how she would begin to try to get the bullet out…

Clark's color seemed a little better, but he was cold, _too_ cold, and he hadn't moved at all. _Why isn't he getting better?_ All at once, she noticed with a jolt that the door was still open. _Radiation must still be seeping out into the hallway…_

"Richard!" she called again, beginning to panic. Her mind was still racing futilely. It wasn't like there was a convenient piece of kryptonite blade stuck inside Superman that she could remove. Or a conveniently handy toolbox with pliers inside either.

"What?" Richard called back from inside the room.

"Bring Mitchener out into the hallway! We have to close the door… block the radiation!" Lois picked up the edge of the long, red cape, and tried to staunch Clark's wound. The blood soaked through the silky cloth in seconds.

She heard the steely sound of the door shutting behind her, and she turned to see Richard still holding Mitchener at gunpoint, the deputy mayor's back slumping against the wall. Mitchener was muttering faintly again, eyes skittering erratically between the gun, Richard's grim face, the gory smear of blood on the floor and the superhero to which it led.

"Mitchener!" she snapped, a sudden, terrible fear gripping her heart. "What kind of bullets are in that gun?"

Mitchener set his mouth in a stubborn line and went silent.

"Tell us, dammit!" she shouted in desperation. That bullet could have been somehow laced with kryptonite… "If he dies, so help me, you'll wish—"

"Let me, Lois," Richard interrupted. Stepping close to the deputy mayor, he placed the gun beneath the man's chin and murmured something into Mitchener's ear.

He went positively white, his eyes going wide, and started to hyperventilate. "I—I don't know! It was Luthor's gun, I swear!"

Richard's voice lowered dangerously as he stepped back again. "That had better be the truth, buddy."

For a moment, all thoughts of kryptonite bullets left her mind. Lois had never seen this side of affable Richard White before… She stared at him with a mixture of surprise and admiration. Beneath her fingers, there was suddenly a small movement, startling her back to reality. She lifted her fingers away from the wound to see what was happening.

The seeping of blood from the injury had stopped, and the skin around it was slowly changing from a sickly greenish-white color to a healthier pink. With a motion that eerily reminded her of a worm burrowing its way out of an apple, the bullet came into view, working its way to the surface. As it broke the air, there was almost an audible _pop_ and it rolled off of his skin, hitting the hardwood floor with a faint clink like a dropped penny. Lois lifted it between her trembling fingers. It was slick with blood, but to her eyes it looked perfectly plain – dull, ordinary metal with no tell-tale greenish tint.

She looked back at the wound and gasped as she watched the gaping hole miraculously knit itself together, until the skin was smooth and unmarked, save for the dried blood around it. Clark's breath hitched, and he coughed noisily, his eyes fluttering open.

Although they were still cloudy with pain, the azure eyes that met hers filled Lois with radiant hope and love. "Oh, thank God!" she cried in an echo of his first words to her a while ago. She started to reach for him, longing to cover his face in ardent kisses… only to remember that they weren't alone. Swiftly, Lois turned back to Mitchener and Richard. They both looked relieved, but for very different reasons.

Even though Lois wanted to throw her arms around Clark, with the two of them watching, she had to satisfy herself with a simple, "Are you all right?"

He pushed himself up to a sitting position with careful slowness. "I'll be fine, now that I'm away from the kryptonite." He gave her a slow, reassuring smile, as the traces of pain started to fade from his white face and the color returned.

And now that Clark was starting to recover, and there was no gun or gag to hold her back… She rose to her feet and stalked over to the deputy mayor. "Tell us, Mitchener," she snarled. Her voice shook with anger before she got it under control. "Why would you ally yourself with a maniac like Lex Luthor?"

He looked like he was trying to hang on to his last vestiges of pride as he squared his shoulders and returned stiffly, "And why should I tell you? If I want any chance of a fair trial—"

"Good luck with that, after you kidnapped Lois Lane and nearly killed Superman in front of witnesses," Richard drawled laconically from beside her.

Lois shot him an impatient you're-not-helping kind of look, but quickly added, "Your only chance is to cooperate. Otherwise _The Daily Planet_ will skin you alive, and the citizens of Metropolis will nail your sorry hide to the wall."

Mitchener only tightened his lips, looking away from them defiantly.

Lois's mind continued to race. Frustration caused her throbbing head to pound even more._ What can I say to get him to open up? I want to know what's happened to Luthor… no, I _need_ to know, dammit! It's my son's, my love's – my entire family's life that's at stake here! _

"There's a funny thing, Mr. Mitchener…" a rich voice intoned suddenly beside her, startling them all. There stood Superman radiating authority, despite his torn and gore-stained uniform. "…about working with someone as slippery as Lex Luthor. He may offer you the world, but in the end he'll be the only one to reap the benefits… while his accomplices are left with all the blame." He trained his piercing gaze on the deputy mayor's face, locking eyes with him in a hard stare.

_Or worse,_ Lois snarked inwardly.

Superman never took his gaze from Mitchener, and even though the deputy mayor looked as if he were trying to tear his eyes away, he seemed transfixed for several seconds. It was as if Clark was unleashing the full force of his Superman persona and authority to break down on his opponent's defenses.

"Okay, okay!" Mitchener gasped, trembling. He rubbed a hand across his haggard face, and slumped back against the wall, mumbling, "I'll cooperate with you… If only to help put that devil in jail…"

Richard and Lois traded a surprised glance. Strangely, once faced with Superman, the man had dissolved in an instant. The two of them stepped back to let Clark get closer, Richard lowering Mitchener's gun a little.

"Tell me, Mitchener. Where is Lex Luthor?" Superman's voice was low but full of an undeniable power.

Mitchener crumpled, words spilling out of him in a torrent. "I don't know… I just spent the last few hours looking for him… I found the car I rented for him abandoned on the side of the main highway several miles from here… Maybe they walked… hitchhiked… jacked a car…"

At Mitchener's words, Lois' heart sank. _He's disappeared again? _The thought of that madman on the loose sent a shiver down her spine.

Clark's mouth set into a grim line. "Believe me, I will do everything in my power to see that Luthor finally comes to justice. But you must tell me all you know. Why would a respectable man like you get involved with a scoundrel like him?"

"But that's just it," Mitchener defended, eyes drifting down to the floor in shame. "He wasn't a scoundrel… at least not back then. We met when I was first starting out in business, trying to strike out on my own. You see, he was fascinating. A man who had risen to wealth and influence from the depths of Suicide Slum, all on his own… I wanted to know more." Mitchener let out a short, bitter laugh. "He said he saw something of himself in me… and I was flattered."

Superman nodded, but his eyes were cold. "Luthor's always been good at telling people what they want to hear."

Mitchener reddened, but pushed forward. "When he went into prison the first time, after nearly destroying California, I vowed to have nothing to do with him again. He contacted me anyway… he remembered my family had an old cabin out here and wanted to purchase it for a significant sum, but keep it under my name." He grimaced. "I see now it was a mistake to sell it to him, but I needed the cash…"

Feeling genuinely curious, Lois put in, "Why? With all your family's money and influence, I would think money wouldn't be a problem."

"But it was! I was trying to get out from underneath my family, be my own man… And that would have been the end of it, except that a fraternity brother of mine got into a spot of trouble." Mitchener risked another glance at an impassive Superman. "He ended up in the same prison as Luthor, and when I went to visit Tandy, he must have seen me or gotten wind of my visit… I received a message from him a few days later, reminding me about our past association."

Looking down again, he continued. "I don't know why I actually responded… He had a lucrative suggestion. I guess I fancied myself smarter than he was – above the mistakes he had made…" He trailed off, clearly reticent about continuing.

_Hubris strikes again!_ Lois thought sadly.

"Go on," Superman pressed.

"He wanted to form a high-price construction company firm. We both needed the cash, and he said the architectural and real estate markets would be more and more lucrative in the coming years... plus we would be benefactors of the city. He turned out to be right; contracts started pouring in, and we were cleaning up, all over Metropolis." He shifted his eyes uncomfortably under their astonished gazes, and raked his hand through his hair. "Then, when the building began, he suggested cutting corners to save money... hiring the cheapest contractors, like Robinson's..." He swallowed. "On the city council, he got me to advance and promote measures to relax certain aspects of the building codes."

"And you didn't see the danger to the city?" Lois asked in disgusted disbelief.

"But I did!" Mitchener protested. "After it became apparent that the infrastructures of most of the new buildings were dangerously compromised, I got worried and went to him. I complained; I said it had to stop. I had my future to think of – I wanted to be known as the politician that rescued the city not the one who sank it. He laughed at me and told me I was in too deep now – that if I told anyone what I knew, he'd make sure that everyone knew that I was directly implicated. Then he started to scare me – he was clearly a lunatic, a dangerous one. He said the time was coming when everyone would see that Metropolis was like a house built on sand, and even Superman wouldn't be there to stop it..."

A sickening pit opened up in her stomach. Hearing her suspicions confirmed from out of Mitchener's mouth filled Lois with a cold dread. She thought, _I could have been one of the people trapped in the collapses, or Richard, or Jason…_

Mitchener's voice dwindled as he seemed to realize just how badly he had been duped. "He reassured me that I could be like Rudy Giuliani – a stalwart leader in a crisis. And I had been investing the capital to help finance my upcoming run for the senate…"

Richard, who had been basically silent during Mitchener's confession, suddenly spoke up. "But then Superman came back to Metropolis." He avoided Lois' eyes as he added, "And everything changed."

"Yes," Mitchener morosely agreed. "When the earthquake hit, and I found out what Luthor had done… and what he'd been planning to do to the city…" He shuddered. "The buildings would have toppled like dominoes, causing a chain reaction…"

"It would have been difficult to lead in a city that didn't exist anymore," Superman said quietly.

Mitchener closed his eyes in defeat. "Afterwards, he radioed me a message. Fly out to get him, he ordered, or all of Metropolis would know the part I played in the city's destruction." His fists clenched in impotent anger. "He dared to mock me, and said that instead of Guiliani, I might be a Ray Nagin – a survivor after the storm – but it was up to me to make what political hay I could out of the situation..." He looked back up at them, tired eyes wide and pleading. "I was appalled, but there seemed to be nothing I could do at that point…"

Lois hardened her heart against any compassion for this petty villain and moved in for the kill. "Surely you realize that by aiding and abetting Luthor you've put countless innocents and maybe the whole city of Metropolis at risk again -- just to save your own hide?"

"I had no choice. Ms. Lane, you have no idea how ruthless he is ..." His voice trailed off as Lois's eyes flashed and he seemed to remember that she had been Luthor's 'guest' on more than one occasion. "If I had refused, one way or another, my career -- no, my life would have been over," he whimpered.

At those last words, Mitchener seemed to deflate, finally done with his dreadful litany.

Superman placed a strong hand on the man's shoulder and hauled him to his feet. "The police will be here soon. They are only a few miles away by the sound of it. You can turn yourself in, and finally start to make amends for what you've done."

Mitchener nodded once, but then turned his broken gaze back toward Lois. "There's just one thing more, Ms. Lane… how on earth did you ever connect me with Luthor? We took such pains to keep our business dealings hidden and under the radar..."

Lois hesitated for a moment. "I didn't, not really," she quietly admitted. "I'd only connected you to Chase Robinson and that prison friend of yours. All I'd had about Luthor were suspicions."

Mitchener's face crumpled at that, as he realized that he'd given everything away himself in his amateurish attempt to kidnap her.

Clark turned to her then. "Ms. Lane, Mr. White… once everything is wrapped up, you don't need to stay. I can take care of things from here." His formal tone belied the deep concern he bore for her in his eyes.

She could only imagine all the things he needed to take care of – all the evidence, making sure the kryptonite was safely removed, not to mention searching for Luthor. "Thank you. I'm very anxious to…" She put as much urgency and love into her eyes as she dared in front of witnesses, "…to see my son."

* * *

Lois stared out of the viewscreen of Richard's plane, the noise of the engines the only sound. Since Clark was otherwise occupied, Richard had graciously volunteered to fly her back to the house on the river, where Perry and Jimmy were waiting with Jason. She had worriedly asked him how Jason was as soon as they had entered the cockpit, and he had assured her that the little boy was fine, just anxiously awaiting her return. But except for those few brief words, they had hardly spoken to each other for the past hour.

Lois finally broke the silence. "Thank you, Richard."

She looked over at him. He gave her a short nod, eyes ahead.

"You didn't have to help out. God knows, after everything, I don't deserve that from you." Her voice was low and penitent.

"It was no problem," he responded after a long pause. "You needed the help. As bad as things are right now between us, I couldn't stand idly by. And you would have done the same for me." He finally turned to look her straight in the eyes.

She nodded. "Cl…" She stumbled over mentioning Clark to Richard, but decided to forge ahead. "Clark was really grateful, too. He said you were very insightful in helping to locate me."

Richard gave her an ironic laugh. "Insightful?" He shook his head, defeated. "I made some lucky guesses… but it was Clark who did all the work, and put the final pieces together. _Clark_ was able to piece together your train of thought from that cryptic list with arrows. I could read the words, but I couldn't see the connections you'd made…"

Overcome with emotion, Richard looked away again. With an air of grudging honesty, he continued. "Somehow Clark could, and explained them clearly to me. It was like Clark could read your mind. He immediately saw how everything fit, and came to all the same conclusions that you did."

Richard's face turned to hers again, and her heart ached at the naked honesty in his eyes. "Lois, you were always a mystery to me -- it was part of your charm, really. But today I realized that I knew you for five years, lived with you, worked with you every day… Now I feel like I only scratched the surface. He comes back for a few weeks and it's like he knows you better than anyone."

Lois really didn't know what to say to Richard's stark admission. She was struck with the complete silence that comes when someone says something absolutely true, but absolutely painful.

After a silence that stretched a few moments too long, she finally asked, trying to change the subject, "How did Jason handle all of this? Clark said he was pretty upset."

Richard sighed. "After Clark left, I got Jason calmed down a bit. I told him that Mister Clark was going to find Superman, and I would fly out and meet Superman in his plane.  
I said that together we would find Mommy. But before I could go ask Perry to watch him, he grabbed my arm to stop me. He begged me, 'Daddy, I want to help you find her. Please let me go with you.'"

_Even at his young age, he's so brave. _Lois marveled. _The poor thing was probably terrified the whole time I was gone._

"I gently explained to him that it would be too dangerous – that Daddy and Superman were the best people to help her right now. I said Mommy would want her little boy to be safe." Richard's voice turned a bit mournful as he added, "Jason got a determined look on his face…" He gave her an unreadable glance, "…the same look that I've seen on Superman's face… but he didn't argue."

"I went to tell Perry, what was going on – just a quick overview, without saying how much Clark was involved, other than mentioning that he was going to find Superman. Perry was very concerned, and agreed immediately to watch Jason. Jimmy came in during my explanation, and heard most of the salient details. Then I hugged and kissed Jason goodbye, and headed for the parking garage as quickly as I could."

Lois could tell that this was getting very difficult for him by the set of his jaw. "If you don't want to—"

"No, I need to tell you," Richard insisted, shaking his head determinedly. "When I got to the car, Jason was already waiting there."

Lois gasped. _Another power is surfacing?_

"He must have used some kind of super-speed to beat me there. Before I could even ask him how or why, he begged me again to let him come along. His words are still clear in my mind: 'Daddy. I want to go help Mommy. Please. I can do things – I saved her before, on the bad man's boat.'" He sighed heavily and passed the back of his hand across his eyes. "My heart broke in two right there."

Lois felt much the same, the unshed tears from her terrible ordeal beginning to form at the corners of her eyes.

His voice cracking, Richard went on. "I assured him that Daddy and Superman could take care of it. That we both cared about Mommy very much, and would make sure she gets home safe. I asked him, hoping he would understand, 'Can you trust me, Jason? Can you do this for me?' Jason bit his lip and agreed, just as Perry and Jimmy came rushing into the parking garage frantic with worry."

Lois gripped the armrests of the co-pilot's chair tightly. "What did they say?"

Richard shrugged slightly. "Perry gruffly apologized, telling me Jason just slipped away. I told them everything was fine, that Jason was just upset. Then I asked if they would take him back to the house and keep an eye on him. Before I left for the plane, I made sure to ask him, 'You will be a good boy for Uncle Perry, won't you?' and gave him another hug."

"Oh, Richard…" There was so much she wanted to say about his understanding and generosity, but before she could find the right words, she suddenly felt the plane begin to descend.

"We'll be there soon." Richard shifted, leaning forward slightly, and the way he held himself told her that he needed to concentrate on the landing. The moment had passed, so she kept quiet until they had touched down on the water and were gliding up to the landing platform at the Riverside house.

As she unbuckled herself, her eyes fell on the most welcome sight she'd had since Clark had recovered from the bullet wound. Her little boy hit the deck running, shouting with joy at the sight of her face in the window of the seaplane. As she quickly moved to the exit, he rushed down the stairs of the deck to the platform, launching himself into her arms the instant she set foot on the boards.

"Mommy! You're safe!" he cried. He squeezed her tightly, maybe a little _super_-tightly, but Lois didn't care.

"Yes, honey, I'm safe." She stroked his long, fine locks as the tears that had threatened earlier finally rained down her face in a flood. "I missed you so much."

Her cheek pressed against the side of his head, she held him, rocking him back and forth, soaking his hair and even some of their clothing. By this time, Perry and Jimmy had walked down the deck to greet Richard, Perry taking Richard into a rough hug.

"Um, hello?" a high, timid voice called out from the level above. "I just heard. Is everyone all right?"

Lois lifted her head from Jason's shoulder to see Clark, awkwardly waving from the deck. If he was here, it probably meant he hadn't found Luthor… yet.

Everyone turned to watch Clark clumsily make his way down the stairs, huffing like he had run a marathon. To his credit, Richard refrained from rolling his eyes at the obvious performance.

"We're fine, Clark," she said, hugging Jason again. "We're all fine."

Jason looked around at the adults for a moment, and then turned back to her with a serious expression. "Mommy," he began. Jason's next words caused a variety of reactions. Perry was shocked, Jimmy a little nervous, while Richard looked away, and Clark and Lois both became very embarrassed. "Can we stay here tonight instead of with Mister Clark?"


	35. Chapter 35: Closed Doors

**A/N: Just in case you missed it, I published a little Christmas one-shot in the future of this universe, called "Christmas Times Five." I'd be much obliged if you would check it out! **

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 35: Closed Doors

Clark crashed through the doorway of the lead-lined room in the cabin, blue eyes ablaze, and gathered her into his strong arms. There was no greenish glow this time, no closed doors, no gag or bonds… just the two of them. Alone. Together.

Lois knew in some small portion of her subconscious mind that this was just a dream, a replaying of the scene with the script rewritten the way she wished it could have gone…

Lois ran her hands up between them, undoing buttons as her fingers traveled upward – hadn't he been wearing the costume before? – laying the palms of her hands flat on his hard, muscular torso. Clark wasted no time in doing the same, his hands lifting the hem of her blouse to caress the small of her back.

He captured her lips gently between his own as she slid his shirt off of his shoulders. She had been waiting for this for so long, _desperately_ waiting. Lois pushed him backward a little, just enough to let her slip her blouse over her head. She regarded him a moment as she lounged there half-clothed, eyelids lowered in desire.

Clark's eyes widened as he recognized her look, and then the flame she had seen before began to positively smolder. His broad chest pressed against her torso, his lips descended upon hers, and the feeling of their mutual arousal sent the room spinning…

Lois' eyes popped open. She lifted her head for a second, and then let it flop back against the pillow. _Crap, just when it was getting good…_

The clock on the bedside table read 4:07am. She groaned and shifted in the bed, eyes adjusting to the darkness. She had been struggling to go to sleep – and stay asleep – most of the night, disturbed by terrifying dreams of Luthor… or steamy fantasies of Clark.

She shivered slightly as she looked around her. It felt strange to be waking up in this bedroom, the same one she and Richard had shared for years. And to be having these kinds of thoughts about Clark… a small, warm body moved beside her, pressing closer. Gently, Lois stroked Jason's back, and he settled to stillness again, reassured of her presence.

Jason hadn't wanted to sleep by himself – he was still too anxious about almost losing his mommy two times in quick succession. And on top of that, he had demonstrated his burgeoning superpowers both times, the super-strength on the boat, super-speed at _The Planet_. Richard was downstairs on the couch, gracefully bowing out of sharing the bed with them: _"We can't all fit on this bed the way we used to, Sport."_ He'd ruffled Jason's hair tenderly, not completely able to hide the deep sadness in his eyes.

And where was Clark in all of this? _Well, he's not here, and that's the only place I want him to be right now…_ _Though not at the same time as his son…_ she chuckled uncomfortably, and turned over. Her little bundle of heat shifted in concert with her, cuddling up against her back.

It was no wonder Lois couldn't sleep well. 'The Talk' she had been dreading was on the horizon. _I can't put it off any longer_… _Jason needs to know that Richard and I are splitting up. He deserves to know before he can be hurt any more than he already will be._

And then of course, the 'real father' issue had to come out, too. _But when? Tomorrow – _she corrected herself, looking again at the clock – _today…?_ _In the next few days? Weeks? Months? How long can we reasonably put that off? Should we even try?_

Lois could see so many possible outcomes to Jason learning the truth. If he found out now, would he really understand what it meant? Jason was a smart little boy, but he was still so young. But if they waited until he was much older, would he feel betrayed?

Telling him now, after everything that had happened, he might say, 'Cool! That explains a lot!' But she could also see the flipside, a red-faced Jason shouting at Clark, "I hate your guts, I'll never be good enough for you!"

Truthfully, Lois knew it could be anything in that spectrum… and probably would turn out to be something in-between. But as well as she knew her little boy, she just couldn't be completely sure of what he would do… or say...

"Can we stay here tonight instead of with Mister Clark?"

* * *

At Jason's innocently-asked question, Perry White's mouth opened in shock. "What the h— Clark?"

Lois' first impulse was to fly into excuse mode. "Oh, Clark babysat Jason last night… and I came over later to work on the Mitchener story… after what happened with…" She let her words trail off – they sounded hollow even to her own ears. And the uncomfortable assessing looks Richard and Clark were giving each other… Lois realized that there was no hiding it from Perry.

_But Jason…_ Lois placed a gentle hand on Jason's shoulder and knelt to face him. "Sure, Munchkin. We'll stay here tonight." Jason didn't know anything about the break-up, and this was _not_ the time or place to do it. She would not explain what was going on to Perry in Jason's hearing. "Why don't you go in and put your pajamas on and I'll be in soon." Thankfully, all of the adults seemed to understand her hesitation. "Hey, Jason, want me to help you find something?" Jimmy volunteered, and his natural enthusiasm broke the tension just enough. "You can show me that new game you got."

"Okay," Jason answered after Lois gave him an affirming I'm-just-fine-kiddo kind of nod. Their voices quickly faded as the two went up the stairs onto the deck and into the house.

When Jason was out of earshot, Perry cleared his throat and lowered his voice. "Now, don't give me any bull, you three. I didn't become editor-in-chief of _The Daily Planet_ because I couldn't see what was in front of my face." His eyebrows drew down as he pointedly looked between Lois and Richard. "Is what I'm seeing true? Did…" He shook his head disbelievingly before continuing, "… _Kent_ come between the two of you?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that I—" Clark began timidly, just as Lois was also arguing, "Chief, it's not that easy to—"

Richard held up a hand. "Wait, Uncle Perry. Don't jump to any conclusions… yet." Both Lois and Clark halted mid-sentence. Richard continued, voice remarkably emotion-free, "It seems that Lois and Clark had a relationship back before he…" Richard's eyes dropped for a moment before settling back on Perry's face. "…left… on his trip. When Clark came back they both realized they still had… feelings for each other."

Lois was completely surprised, Clark seemed just as astonished. _Richard is explaining this… defending us? Why?_

Perry dug into the information like the newshound he was. "What? A relationship? When?"

Lois started off gently. "Do you remember the honeymoon story you sent us on? To Niagara Falls?"

"Yes, to investigate the racket up there." Perry turned to Richard, curiosity flashing across his no-nonsense face, "The same time _you_ were asking me about?"

Richard nodded, still keeping his features schooled.

Clark tried to jump in, although he was clearly trying not to raise his boss' ire, "It—it was a very romantic setting…" His tone abruptly changed, seeming less diffident and apologetic, and becoming regretful, although only Lois knew why. "And then those aliens came and caused all that panic."

"Right…" Perry ran a hand across his face. "But I still don't get it! After all of that was over, you two acted like nothing had changed, and then only a few weeks later Kent gave his notice!" He began to pace, shooting Richard incredulous looks as he spoke. "A little fling like that, over so quickly, and then you're… _throwing away_ five years of your life…" While Perry continued to lecture Lois, he sent another look to Richard, urging him to speak up, "…_and_ the father of your child, who just risked his life to _save_ you… to recapture it?"

Lois didn't know how to respond to that… just as with Richard, there was no way to explain what had happened without also explaining her memory loss. Clark was obviously searching for something to say as well. And it went without saying that they had to keep the Superman angle out of the explanation.

"Lois," Richard began seriously. And Perry visibly relaxed, seeming to think that Richard was finally going to fight for her. "You're going to have to tell Perry about it in order for him to understand."

"Tell him what?" Lois asked in a panic. Clark's eyes widened behind his thick lenses.

"About…" Richard lowered his voice. "About your memory loss."

"What??" Lois and Clark said in unison. Clark was looking back at her with a stunned expression. _How did he…? _

Richard calmly went on. "Lois, it's nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder." Richard turned to Perry. "The Kryptonian criminals kidnapped her, used her against Superman. From the way you told me she behaved afterward, she must have blocked out the whole event in her mind, forgetting it ever happened. Isn't that right, Lois?"

Lois was astounded. _How did Richard come up with this theory – one so close to the truth? _"Something like that…" she responded vaguely, mind still swimming. "It all came back just this last week, after Clark returned."

"Great Caesar's Ghost..." Perry let out a low whistle. "That would sure explain a lot of things about those weeks. But surely, you still have to consider what's best for Jason…" Before anyone could respond, an odd expression came over his face, as if he were doing the math in his mind, and he looked at the house in puzzlement. "Is Jason…?"

Richard gazed at Lois, eyebrow raised. Lois looked back at him briefly before staring in the direction of the house, biting her lip slightly.

"Yes, he is."

The three other people turned with surprise to Clark, who had suddenly spoken up with firmness. Though Perry didn't know it, Clark was the only one who really could divulge this information willingly.

"But Mr. White," Clark continued earnestly, "Jason doesn't know yet. No one knows except the four of us on this dock." He moved closer to Perry, letting some of his awkwardness fall away as he caught Perry's gaze in his. "And we'd prefer to keep this whole thing in the family – not even Jimmy should know. It's going to be hard enough on Jason without everyone staring at him and whispering."

Lois stepped beside Clark, joining him in solidarity. She looked Perry straight in the eye with her best dragon-mama stare. "Can you keep it to yourself, Perry?"

At that moment, Jason, in his pajamas, came out onto the deck and called down to them. "Mommy! Daddy! Are you coming?"

Something like sympathetic understanding passed across his face, and then, to her utter relief, Perry gave her a firm nod.

* * *

A fluttering outside the window brought Lois to the present again. She carefully untangled herself from the sheets and stepped carefully over to the bedroom window. Lois grabbed a hold of the latches of the window and pushed it slowly open, trying not to make even the smallest sound. Jason had always been a pretty sound sleeper, but without her soothing presence beside him, he could wake up at any moment.

Lois looked out to either side, then upward and down, and out across the water. _Is Clark out there? Does he have news about Luthor?_ Lois would have given anything to see him just then, even at a distance.

She decided to risk just a _little_ bit of noise. " Clark…" she called in a whisper. " Clark, are you out there?"

But there was no response. Somehow, she knew he had probably heard her, wherever he was right now… and as much as she wanted to be near him again, it probably wasn't possible.

Lois sighed. _This is going to be one long night… again_, she thought, before climbing back into bed.

The steam from her coffee cup rose in front of her face, blurring the cartoon Jason was watching on television. Her third or fourth cup – she was beginning to lose track. Richard quietly nursed a cup of his own on the far side of the couch. Jason was sitting on the floor in his jammies, probably too close to the TV, but it seemed a small worry in the face of what she had to do today.

"Lois," Richard murmured.

Lois didn't turn her head. She'd had enough of the unnerving quiet glances he'd been giving her since she and Jason had first come down for breakfast. "Yes?" she returned just as quietly.

"I think we'd better talk to him. And soon." Richard kept his voice pitched low, and Jason didn't turn around.

"We will," she promised, but the queasy feeling in her stomach made the words come out more as a groan.

"When? After he starts wondering where I am? When he discovers yet another power? You might find it easier if you just wait until he can overhear—"

"That's enough," she snapped, turning fiery hazel eyes on him. "Don't you think I've been agonizing over this all night? I can't help it if I want him to have just a few more moments before I turn his world upside-down."

Richard closed his mouth, and nodded, looking abashed.

He was right, of course. The credits of the show Jason had been watching began to roll across the screen, going into a commercial break. With great effort, Lois pushed down her stubborn streak and gently called, "Jason, honey. I need you to turn the TV off and come sit by me."

He turned his head curiously in her direction, about to protest, but something in the way the adults were looking at him must have changed his mind. He punched the power button and came over to her, climbing nimbly into her lap. "What is it, Mommy?"

"Sweetheart," Lois began, unsure but knowing there was no way to make this any easier, "I have something to tell you that's very difficult."

Jason's face slowly moved from curiosity to worry, but he remained silent.

_Please, God, let me not screw this up…_ she thought, and squeezed his hand. "Your daddy… Richard… and I… are going to—" She stopped, and tried a different tactic. "Sometimes two people who are together find out that they can't…" No, that wasn't quite right, either. "Richard and I have been having some problems, and we don't…" She paused again. She had almost said, _We don't love each other anymore._ But in Richard's case, that probably wasn't true. And she did love Richard, but not the way that she really should, not the way that she loved Clark. "Honey, it's complicated."

Jason was beginning to stiffen in her arms, obviously becoming very anxious at her halting explanation. Lois hugged him tightly for a moment, and shot a look over at Richard. For all that he had urged her into doing this, he was being _awfully_ quiet. Unhelpfully so.

"Jason," she tried again, pulling back. "Richard and I aren't going to be getting married."

"Not?" Jason looked down at Lois' left hand and seemed to see for the first time that there was no ring. "But… what does…?"

"It means that we aren't going to be living together anymore." Jason looked fearfully at Richard, who nodded with a pained frown.

"But… Mommy… Daddy… why?" His lower lip began to tremble slightly. "Is it because of…?" He sniffed and blinked away the tears that were springing to his eyes.

Lois gathered him tightly in her arms again. "It's not because of anything that _you've_ done, sweetie. We both love you very, very much."

Jason pushed away a little to swipe at the tears with one hand. "But you don't love each other anymore?"

Richard finally spoke up. "We do, but… sometimes that's not enough."

Jason's voice trembled as he asked, "Will you still be my daddy?"

Lois and Richard exchanged a look. "I'll always be your daddy, Jason. I love you, and I'm not going to be out of your life."

"How…? How can you be my daddy if we don't live together?" he said, voice full of heartbreaking confusion. "Am I going to have a new daddy?"

Lois suddenly felt her tongue stick like glue to the top of her mouth. Richard looked down again, unwilling to answer the question. It was her question to answer, after all. "Well… again, it's complicated…"

Jason slid out of her lap, a frown coming over his face. Then he turned and slowly walked toward the stairs.

"Jason?" Lois stretched a hand out toward him. Her little boy looked back at her, then Richard, eyes almost blank, as he seemed to try to comprehend what was going on. Then without answering, he turned and walked up the stairs. A few moments later, they both heard the door to his room click shut.

**A/N: Thank you to bistyboo1974 and coltdancer for pinch-betaing this go 'round. Extra hugs for them and Mark C for the help.**


	36. Chapter 36: Once Upon A Time

Déjà Vu

Chapter 36: Once Upon A Time

The faint click of Jason's door closing almost echoed in Lois' ears. For several seconds, not even the cheerful sound of Jason's cartoon channel penetrated her thoughts. A gray wash covered all five senses, and she felt as blank as the look Jason had just given her before he went upstairs.

Beside her, Richard exhaled noisily, breaking her from her trance. "_That_ was unexpected."

Lois nodded numbly. _What do I do now? Does he just need time? Or does he want me to follow him up there? _

She didn't have time to make any sort of decision – Richard was already rising from the couch.

"What are you doing?" Lois asked tensely.

Richard looked down at her, affronted. "I'm going up there. I'm still his 'Daddy' no matter what happens after this." He started forward, but Lois laid a restraining hand on his arm.

"Is that really the best thing to do here? Maybe he just needs a few moments to sort this out in his mind." It seemed a weak argument, even as she was saying the words.

Richards eyebrows raised, an expression of '_oh, really?_' crossing his face. "We don't know _what_ he's thinking right now... he's only five years old, Lois."

Lois stood, suddenly defensive. "Even when _I_ was five years old, Richard, I needed plenty of time to myself…" Lois' gaze drifted toward the stairs, and she made a sudden decision. "We'll go up together."

His mouth quirked, and after a moment, he gestured for her to lead the way up the stairs. She climbed quickly, but lightly, and when she reached his door, she gently turned the doorknob to make sure it wasn't locked. Gently opening the door, she called out, "Jason, honey?"

Jason was lying curled up on his bed, back turned away from the open door, and he didn't respond. She came to sit on the edge of his bed, and lightly caressed his calf. "Are you all right?"

Behind her, Richard stayed in the doorway, leaning against the frame. "Do you want to talk?"

Jason stared straight ahead, not turning to look back at either of them. Tears glistened on his cheeks, and he sniffled, but other than that, all he did was slightly shake his head.

Heart aching, she gave his leg another small rub. "Will you let me know when you do?"

After a pause so long she worried whether he would ever speak to her again, he finally nodded.

"We'll be downstairs if you need us…" There was not much else she could do. They slipped out of the room, closing the door quietly, and went back down the stairs.

Lois sat down heavily on the couch, completely at a loss. Richard stayed standing, running a hand through his hair. "Well..."

"Yeah…" Lois didn't think she'd ever felt as if she didn't know what the next step was.

"I guess I'd better go pack." Richard turned and started back up the stairs again.

It took her a second to realize what he had just said. "What? Wait… no!" He looked back at her curiously, and before he could argue, she went on. "This is your house as much as mine. Actually… it's more yours than mine. I was the one who made this decision… I should be the one to leave."

He frowned. "But Jason should stay here – he needs the stability."

"You're worried about stability? Knowing that he's loved – that's the kind of stability he needs. And what would we do in this big house all by ourselves?" She didn't mention that there was absolutely no way that she could stay here… not with all the memories that would assault her at every opportunity.

"So where will you go? Will you live with…?" His eyes darted downward, unwilling to meet her eyes.

Lois was actually glad that he wasn't looking at her. Her cheeks flushed. _Where will we live? Clark and I haven't even discussed that… I'm not even sure if we will live together at all… _"I… I don't know. I'll probably get an apartment in the city… someplace close to the _Planet_…"

If Richard noticed the fact that she didn't use the word 'we,' he was classy enough not to point it out. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. Besides, you're still going to need a place to dock your plane."

His lips pressed together. He'd lived with her long enough to know by now when arguing was pointless. "Well, you can take as much time as you need. I know it'll take a while to get things sorted out."

"Thank you, Richard." His words were so calm, but in his eyes she could just glimpse the way this whole thing was tearing him apart inside.

He gestured over his shoulder with a nod of his head. "I guess I'll be in the study, if you need me for anything."

She watched him walk away, heartsore, but knowing this was for the best in the long run. Richard was an incredible man, and he deserved happiness… with the _right_ woman for him. She'd known somewhere inside that she was not that person for some time, even though it had taken the reappearance of her soulmate to stir her to action.

_Maybe I should go pack a bag myself. Wherever I end up living, I don't think I can stay here another night…_ She climbed the stairs slowly, lost in thought. But the closer she got to Jason's room, she realized that she could hear a slight sound coming from inside, the sound of sobbing. He hadn't called out to them, so she was hesitant to go in to comfort him, even though it was her first impulse…

All of a sudden, Jason's crying got much louder and he tearfully spoke aloud. But the sobs completely distorted his speech beyond recognition. Whatever he was saying, all she knew was that he needed someone. Right now.

"Jason, honey," she said as she opened his bedroom door. Rushing over to him, she gathered him into her arms. For an instant, he resisted, but as another sob tore from him, he sank into her chest.

Lois stroked his hair silently, allowing him to cry out his pain. As much as it hurt to see him this way, it was almost better than the empty shock he'd shown before this.

They rocked back and forth for a while, and after a while, the sobs started to lessen. "Are you ready to talk?" she asked him gently.

"I don't know," he moaned into her chest through his sniffles.

"Would it be okay if I told you a story, then?"

He nodded under her chin.

"A long time ago… before you were born… there was a girl. She thought she could do anything, be anybody. And you know what? She was right. And she didn't need anyone's help to do it, either." That was her, bold as brass Lois Lane. The youngest reporter, let alone a female one, to get a byline on the front page of the _Planet_ on a regular basis.

"And then the girl met someone, someone so different from anyone she'd ever known. He was the first person who seemed interested in something other than just himself. In fact, he seemed to do nothing but help other people. And even the girl who didn't need anyone's help… found herself in need of his help more than she ever thought possible."

Jason stayed quiet, listening to her soothing voice, relaxing under her stroking hands. He was well past the age when he would think this was just another fairy tale… but would he understand the point of this story?

"Pretty soon, the girl thought that she'd met her Prince Charming. But she felt a lot like Cinderella – she thought she had no chance with him." Lois chuckled softly as she started the next section. "Now, at the same time, the girl met another boy. She didn't really pay any attention to him at first, but the more she got to know him, she realized what a nice guy he was."

Jason shifted, curling more into her, face buried in her neck. She took a breath to continue, but once again, she heard a flapping outside the window. _Another figment of my imagination? _She was tempted to ignore it…

But something inside prompted her to turn her head. The person she had been wishing for last night was floating just outside the window, an expression of concern on his face. He must have been so anguished by his son's pain that he ceased his search for Luthor to comfort him. Lois lifted her chin from the top of Jason's head and jerked her head to the side, gesturing that he could come in, if he wanted to. Jason's face was away from the window, so he hadn't noticed yet.

Lois kept talking – she was finding this as therapeutic for herself as she hoped it would be helpful in making Jason understand. "Unfortunately, she was too distracted by the first boy to really notice the other one." Clark very gently opened the window, and slipped in. Somehow, without her noticing it, he had changed to casual clothing, jeans and his ever present flannel shirt, though he had left the glasses off.

"But then one day, she had a thought. What if, all this time, the two boys were one and the same? It would sure solve a lot of her problems. So she decided to try to trick him. Make him confess, once and for all." Lois set a wry look at him, he grinned, probably remembering.

"It didn't turn out quite the way she hoped. But in the end, she found out that she was right after all, and the girl knew they were going to live happily ever after."

Clark's expression turned slightly mournful. He knew what was going to happen in the next chapter of the story.

She paused there, and Jason stilled, waiting. When she didn't continue right away, he asked, "Well, did they?"

"Well, they wanted to... but you know, Munchkin, sometimes it takes awhile to get to a happily ever after." She took a deep breath – this was going to be the hardest part of the story to tell.

"A terrible thing happened, and the prince had to leave… had to do battle with a great evil that was threatening the whole world. And when it was all over…" Lois swallowed. It was no easier to talk about it five years later than it had been that terrible morning at the_ Planet_. "…the girl ended up confused, alone, with no idea what to do next."

"Why was she alone, Mommy? What happened to the prince?"

"Well, you see…" Lois looked up, and locked eyes with Clark. And as she spoke the next words, she tried to let him know with her eyes that all of this was in the past now. "…the prince discovered that he had to make a long journey, one that would take him far, far away. He didn't know how long it would take, if he would ever return… or if he would ever see the girl again."

"That's really sad, Mommy."

"Yes… yes, it is. But it wasn't all completely sad… though neither one of them knew it… the prince had left a precious gift behind."

Jason sat up, intrigued. "A gift?"

"More than just a gift…" She kissed the top of his head. "A miracle." Lois' heart clenched again – as she told this story to Jason, she was almost feeling afresh the worry and wonder of being pregnant with him.

"So, a little while later, the girl met another boy. And although this boy wasn't a prince, he loved her. He treated her as much like a princess as the prince had done. The girl and boy cared for the gift together, thinking that it belonged to both of them now. And after a time… the girl's memory of the prince faded until she wasn't so sad anymore."

As Lois spoke, Clark quietly moved over to the bedroom door, opening it gently. Richard was there in the threshold, embarrassed to be caught eavesdropping. Richard signed 'see' with one hand, and made a swooping gesture: _'I saw Clark fly in…_' Clark shrugged, embarrassed. She nodded slightly to give Richard permission to come in – if there was ever a time when all three of Jason's parents needed him, it was now.

Jason mumbled quietly, his tears nearly stopped. "Is that the end of the story? It's _kind of_ a happy ending…"

Lois chuckled softly. "No, kiddo, that's not the end of the story. Do you know what happened next?"

"What?"

"The prince came back. And at first, instead of being happy, the girl was a little bit angry. Why had he come back just when she was starting to be happy again? What was she going to do about the other boy she had met?"

"What did she do?" Jason's voice was now touched with interest. He looked curiously up at her, still unaware that they had company in the room with them now.

Lois kept her gaze downward as she talked, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes, not Jason, not Clark, not Richard. "At first, she didn't know _what_ to do. Maybe it would be best to marry the other boy… the prince could take care of himself… and the little miracle gift was doing just fine. But…"

She paused for a long second. She could only imagine the expressions on the men's faces. After all, neither of them had really heard from her the full story, and even though they would be getting it in the form of a fairy tale… and truthfully, wasn't that pretty close to the way her life had been so far? Ordinary girl meets extraordinary guy, but there was always some sort of problem to overcome…

Would the girl run away when the magic ended and hope that prince would find her? Would she wait for her prince to save her from a great evil, and end up sleeping a hundred years?

Or would she risk everything to join him in a world she never dreamed she would be a part of?

Of course, it was a lot more complicated than that. Fairy tales didn't always have to be all about the prince and the girl.

"…But what, Mommy?" There was a slight urgency in Jason's voice.

"But… the girl realized that she wasn't being fair to the boy. She had found her prince… Somewhere out there was a princess for that boy…" She looked briefly into Richard's resigned face. "…and she just wasn't it."

"'The End'?" Jason asked doubtfully.

"More like… 'To be continued.'"

"So…" His little brows furrowed in thought as lifted his head to look up at the ceiling. "If you're the girl… and Daddy's the boy…" Suddenly, Jason turned his head enough to catch a glimpse of Richard by the doorway, and he swiveled all the way around, startled that they weren't alone anymore. His eyes then fell on Clark, leaning against one of Jason's short bookcases. Clark somehow managed all at once to look awkward, consoling, anxious and brave in his stance.

Father and son held each other's gazes, and for one clear moment, Jason's parentage was perfectly obvious to every adult in the room. "M—Mister Clark?"

"Hello, Jason." His voice was warm, deep, unassuming.

The little boy started, looking quickly between the three adults. His eyes went wide with shock and he spluttered, "No—wait! He…" His voice descended into a low whine. "I don't understand…"

Lois gathered Jason into her arms again, and she murmured as gently as she could, "Do you remember the part of the story with the 'gift'? That was you, sweetheart." She kissed the crown of his head once again. "When you came into our lives, we didn't realize what had really happened. Not at first."

He looked up at her, eyes suddenly filled with fear. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry, that didn't come out right…" She bit her lip, not knowing what to say, but knowing it needed to be said. "Let's see, why don't we try it this way… You know how people tease us that we are a lot alike? How we look alike…"

"…and are always getting into trouble?" He grinned slightly.

She grinned back at him. "Right. Well, there are also things about you that are not like me at all. You're good in math and science… and when you're worried about someone, really worried… you can do special things." She swallowed. "Just like Clark can."

Jason looked at each adult face in turn, trying to confirm what his mother had just said. Then he stilled, almost a repetition of the way he had reacted to the news of the break-up downstairs.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" It was a lot for a young boy to grasp, especially so suddenly. He might have already accepted that he was somehow different, just like Clark was, but did he comprehend why…?

Jason unfroze, and looked very seriously at Clark again. Clark met his frank appraisal with quiet confidence. "I'm like you… because _you're _my…"

"I'm your father, Jason."

"But…?" He looked at Richard.

"Yes, it's true, kiddo." Richard told him, speaking at last. "But we _all_ love you. You know that, don't you?" He walked close to sit beside them on the bed.

He nodded numbly.

Clark came to kneel in front of Jason and Lois. "Jason, I bet you have a lot of questions. I think I know what might help."

"What?" His voice was trembling a little, but he seemed willing to listen.

"I have a place I go sometimes when I need to think. It's not the same as it used to be, but you should know about it anyway." He held out a hand toward his son. "Would you let me take you there?"


	37. Chapter 37: Heritage

Déjà Vu

Chapter 37: Heritage

At the first sight of the Fortress of Solitude, Jason gaped in awe. Although this was Lois' fourth visit, she felt a fresh sense of wonder at its sublime majesty, especially seeing it through her son's eyes. She looked at her son's little face, watching the fear and worry of before giving way to excited anticipation.

She could only imagine what he was thinking right now. The cool guy Mommy worked with, the superhero he had seen through almost immediately, and connected with deeply, was his father. Awe, worry and amazed disbelief had to be mixing together in his child's mind. He had not questioned the truth, at least not aloud – not when all the adults important to him had confirmed it. But even if he had questioned it, the seismic shift he was experiencing inside must make the truth impossible to deny. Like the five-year-old's version of Occam's Razor – the simplest explanation – I have powers, I must be his son – probably made the most sense.

They smoothly glided down through the immense dark crystal pillars, gracefully interweaving at unearthly angles. Seeing it again, she felt a vestigial sadness at its cold, crystalline beauty, now as dead as the world that spawned it. Lois turned her attention to Clark, his red cape rippling gracefully behind them as they descended. A look of deep sadness passed across his face and she knew he was heartsore about seeing this monument to his long-dead homeworld a shadow of its former glory. Did he feel another deep pang of hurt at the sight? Not only was he absolutely certain that Krypton was gone now, but his only link to it was gone as well… Her heart went out to him, as she watched him reaffix his mask of confidence for his son.

"Here we are, Jason." Clark spoke in a quiet, cheerful voice, as he set them both down gently near the center of the structure. "This is where I learned where I came from." His somber gaze traveled to the lifeless console. "Where I met my Kryptonian father for the first time."

_And the place where Jason was conceived,_ Lois thought with fierce pride. For some reason, it just felt right that this was the first place they'd brought their son after revealing his heritage to him.

"It's so…" Jason seemed to search for the words. "…big. And cold…" He shivered, and Lois pulled him closer for warmth.

"I'm sorry… I wish I could make it warmer in here." Clark gestured futilely over to the console. "After Lex Luthor stole the crystals, it just hasn't been the same here." He swallowed as if to push down his loss, and looked down at his son. "I could warm you up with heat vision, if you want."

Jason's eyes grew wide and he nodded quickly, eagerly. Lois watched Clark move the beam from her son's feet to the top of his tousled head, the air rippling with heat as it traveled upward. The overflow warmed her just enough as well. And this time, there was not even a hint of eroticism in the gesture… instead, it felt almost like a warm blanket enveloping the two of them.

Jason shivered again, and she was sure it wasn't from the cold by the faint smile that lit his small face. He then looked around again, more carefully. "So how did you find this place? Did you land here or something?"

"Well, it's kind of a long story… My parents, the Kents, told me that they had found me and adopted me, that I was different. They warned me to be careful. But they didn't tell me just _how_ they found me." As Clark talked, he slowly led them through the wide chamber toward the console, faintly illuminated by a shaft of natural light in the darkness. "After my father died, I found a green crystal…" He paused, remembering, "It somehow… _called_ to me. I knew I had to take it up north. When I got here, I tossed it well away from me, into the snowy plain." With a small smile that just touched the corners of his mouth, he added, "And this is what grew from that tiny 'seed.'

"I've never really spent much time here… except right after it was created. This is where I learned all about my heritage." He stepped with them onto the console dais. "There was a vast store of knowledge contained in the crystals here…" His face turned grave and sorrowful once again, and he traced the edges of one of the empty slots, lost in thought.

Jason looked absolutely awestruck with the sight of the gleaming device, even as dead as it was. He slowly reached a tentative hand toward it, and then flinched back. "Is it okay for me to touch it?" He looked back at his father questioningly.

Clark simply nodded.

As Jason gently touched the sides, standing on tiptoe to peer into the empty holes, Clark continued. "I wish that you could have seen my Kryptonian father's image. Jor-El was quite impressive. A little bit stern and frightening, actually. But he had so much to teach me." Clark began to settle a hand on Jason's shoulder, possibly unsure of whether his touch would be welcomed, but going ahead anyway. Jason's attention was completely riveted to the alien technology, and he didn't react at all. "I hope I can be as helpful as he was in explaining all about Krypton."

Full of unnamed emotions, Lois stayed silent, wanting to give Clark and Jason as much time to bond as possible. It was amazing to see them together, all barriers down, all secrets laid bare. To her eyes, it was almost as if a glow surrounded them, like a soft focus filter on an old Technicolor movie…

_Wait a second._

_That's not just my imagination…_ There was a dim, unnatural glow, growing stronger by gradations, at the base of the console. The same glow she had imagined seeing the last time she was here.

Lois stepped closer, unconsciously putting her hand on the side of the device. Suddenly, the light from within doubled, then tripled in intensity, and Clark grimaced, placing a hand to his temples.

"Ahh…" he groaned slightly, wincing. He stepped back, as if to distance himself from the now fully illuminated console, shining in the shadows.

"What's wrong?" Lois asked, turning away from the console and worriedly placing a hand on his arm. She didn't spare another moment to wonder why the console was behaving so strangely. Any time Clark felt any sort of pain, she was immediately concerned.

"I don't know…" His eyes pressed together briefly and he shook his head. "It's like a psychic… _shout_…" He pinched the bridge of his nose and frowned.

At the same instant, out of the corner of her eye, Lois noticed Jason bending down slowly, as though spellbound. When she turned back to him, she saw his hand outstretched, its movement assured and confident this time, toward a bright point of light on the face of the console. Before she could warn him to be careful, she watched as his index finger, almost in slow motion, merged with the spot, creating a dazzling fractal beam that spread in all directions…

When her eyes readjusted, Jason was standing before them, trembling, with a vivid green crystal cradled in his palm. A hidden panel seemed to be closing, the edges blending back into the surface of the device. In a small voice, Jason apologized, "It seemed to call me…"

With an air of extreme shock and reverence, Clark lifted the emerald crystal from his son's hand, while Lois hugged Jason to her side.

"I thought this was gone forever… that Luthor took them all…" He momentarily closed his eyes again, obviously overwhelmed, and then opened them only to fix them on the object he was holding as though it were a treasure. He stayed frozen in place for a few endless moments, staring into the heart of the crystal as if trapped there.

"Um, Clark…" Lois cleared her throat gently. She released Jason and touched his shoulder tenderly. "What if we… put it into the console?"

He started out of his fugue state, giving her a startled, slightly sheepish smile, and then gingerly tilted the precious gemstone into the middle slot. It settled in with a slight click.

"My son."

At the sound, light – cold, beautiful white light – grew, radiating outward from the console, until the whole of the vast structure was transformed from a chill tomb to a place of luminescent warmth.

Lois and Jason both jumped as the deep, penetrating voice echoed in the cavernous room. Beside her, Clark gave a gasp of relief that sounded almost like a sob. Lois looked up into the splendor of the tall, leaning pillars above. She was met with the image of a white-haired, lined, but handsome visage of the man she could only assume was Clark's father, Jor-El. She had only seen his mother, Lara, the time before.

The phantom locked eyes with Clark, whose vibrant blue eyes were sparkling with tears, and they nodded in mutual recognition. "Father," Clark greeted, his voice soft with emotion.

Then the regal head tilted downward and pierced the eyes of her little boy. "My grandson."

Lois shivered. Jason trembled beside her, caught in the patriarch's gaze, and she wrapped an arm protectively around his shoulders again. _How did he know? Some sort of DNA recognition? But then how did Luthor manage to access the information…?_

"Kal-El, the father crystal has responded to the blood of the House of El. In the event of a cataclysmic data loss, this crystal was stored within the apparatus, in a state of hibernation," Jor-El's image intoned.

_A backup system_, she thought, almost giddy with all of these strange experiences. Somehow, the crystal had responded to their combined touch.

The relief seemed to radiate from Clark in waves. His voice growing stronger, he replied, "I am very glad to see you again, Father. I was afraid I would never…" He stopped and shook his head, seeming to decide it didn't matter now. "Father, as you must already know, this is my son, Jason." Smiling down on him, he placed a hand on Jason's shoulder, more firmly his time. "And his mother, Lois Lane, my…" He paused to look into her eyes, and then held out his other hand to her. "My soulmate."

Lois gave him a shining smile as she took his hand, feeling a frisson of pleasure as his fingers wrapped around her small hand and his words echoed in her mind and heart.

"The system has detected that the boy is indeed your progeny." Jor-El's voice was grave. "I would not have imagined this was possible when we sent you here to Earth."

Lois stiffened. Was that a faint bit of disdain she detected in his voice? The chill of respectful fear that had filled her when he first spoke was replaced with affronted anger.

Clark squeezed her hand. He must have detected her heart rate rising. "I never imagined it, either… but I am thrilled that it _was_ possible. I am not the Last Son of Krypton after all." Another warm smile suffused his features at the last statement, and he turned his azure gaze on Jason as he spoke, eyes full of pride and love.

Suddenly, another ghostly voice echoed through the enormous room. "Kal-El, the choices you made five years ago have had farther reaching effects than even_ I_ imagined." The form of Clark's mother, Lara, appeared in the crystal beside Jor-El, her golden beauty a contrast to his somber whites and grays.

"Mother." Clark nodded in greeting. "It's true. I regret some of the choices that I made back then. Trying to balance my personal needs with the needs of the world – this has always been a terrible struggle for me. So much that I abandoned the planet you sent me to protect in order to go chasing after shadows."

As he spoke, his tone and words more formal than she ever remembered hearing from him before, the pitch of his voice grew deeper and sterner. "I thought I had to give up the one to have the other. First, I gave up my abilities to be with my true love, with almost disastrous results. Next, I obliterated her memory of the event and tried to become fully Kryptonian, even going so far as to go searching for our homeworld."

Clark's voice resonated in his chest, and he emphasized the next part carefully. "Now that I've returned, I see it was a _fallacy_ to believe it is ever as clear-cut as that. You made me believe that I had to choose either 'powers' or 'love.'" Slipping his arms around them, Clark drew both Lois and Jason closer to him. "In my son, and his mother, I see _new possibilities_.

"I tried to follow your rules, but I found that I could not. I need my family around me, supporting me. Only then will I be able to go on 'saving the world.' Power _must_ be tempered by love."

Lois had been watching Clark with mingled surprise and admiration during his speech, but now she turned to the faces reflected in the crystal structure. Jor-El's face seemed even graver, while Lara's was thoughtful. She hoped that the two would release him from the rigorous duty to which they had bound him, as she held their little silent, frozen-with-awe proof between them.

Clark continued, "I plan to be a father to my son in every way possible… and I will _not_ give up my love of his mother." He tightened his arms around them and stopped there, waiting bravely for some response to his strong remarks.

"Kal-El," his father began.

Lois braced herself, ready to fly to her love's defense in a heartbeat.

"You have made your decision, and I can see you will not be swayed." Then, for the first time, the severe voice gentled. "The instructions we gave you were guidelines, my son, to safeguard the fragile Earth and its people, to prevent your powers from inadvertently causing harm or chaos. They were also there so that you would have some boundaries and guidance as you grew into and assumed your powers."

"Excuse me," Lois called to him sharply, unable to keep silent any longer. Jor-El tilted his head toward her, and arched an eyebrow. She stepped out of the protective circle of Clark's embrace. "Don't you think it's a little _unreasonable_ to expect C— _Kal-El_ to follow the rules of a long-dead people?" She felt strange arguing with an artificial construct, but she would not hold her tongue. "He has lived here almost his entire life, was raised here… and now he has a _family_ here!"

Lara smiled, possibly recognizing a kindred spirit in Lois. "Of course, some of these guidelines no longer apply now that you are fully mature, Kal-El. You are obviously intimately linked with Earth now."

Jor-El's tone, though not disapproving, now sounded somewhat… resigned. "I hope that your son will bind you even more strongly to the Earth and its people, so that you will never think of leaving it again."

"I will not," Clark affirmed with a brilliant smile of relief.

"It seems that you have found a remarkable woman in Lois Lane. She has won your love and produced a beautiful son." Lara turned her twinkling eyes on Lois. "On behalf of the House of El, I welcome you as a daughter."

"Thank you." Lois spoke to Lara's image, but looked into the eyes of Jor-El, who remained silent. He pressed his lips together, but nodded in acknowledgment. There was a solemn pause.

Lois figured that, at this point, Clark would begin to guide Jason through his history, now that the knowledge stored in the crystals had been miraculously restored to him. But instead, Clark lightly turned her toward him, taking both of her hands in his. "Lois, I've told you that I will never leave you again. I promise you that with all that I am. But if I'm going to have a relationship with you, the mother of my child, I'm finally going to do this the right way."

Lois froze, almost unable to comprehend what was happening. He let go of her hands, and reached behind him inside his cape. "Here, in front of our son, and my parents, I want to ask you…" When he brought his hands forward again, nestled within was a sparkling band of gold. Her heart pounded as Clark's eyes met hers.

"Will you marry me?"


	38. Chapter 38: Written

Déjà Vu 

Chapter 38: Written

Lois stood before Clark in shock, a million emotions and thoughts tumbling through her mind. Clark, his blue eyes bright and hopeful, waited with an air of quiet expectation. His palm was still held out toward her, gold band glittering in the light from the console. To the side, Jason was standing quietly, wide-eyed. Jor-El and Lara's images were still as well – paused, possibly… but it felt as if the entire chamber waited with held breath. Through the turmoil of feelings, a tiny voice whispered to her, almost too quiet to hear, _Say Yes!_ She tried to open her mouth… she needed to say something… anything…

"What?"

A small smile turned up the corner of Clark's mouth, and he repeated, "Will you marry me, Lois?"

Lois blushed with embarrassment. "Oh, yes, I know… I didn't exp—I'm just… It's so…" A little louder, the inner voice called to her again, _Say Yes!_ She swallowed and looked around at everyone. "I'm just surprised, that's all."

A slight flush stained Clark's cheeks as well. "I surprised myself, actually. My mother – I mean, my _adoptive_ mother – knew I was thinking about it… I hope she doesn't throttle me for asking you before she's gotten the chance to meet you… but with the Fortress restored, I knew I had to ask now."

She was amazed again at how easily he could surprise her. _Say Yes!_ insisted the inner voice. "It's… wow. I mean, Richard and I just…" Lois' eyes drifted toward Jason again. _If I feel shell-shocked right now, I can only imagine how he's feeling…_ Jason met her questioning gaze with a quizzical look of his own. Worriedly, she continued, "It's only been a few days. People at work – what will they think? I mean, Perry knows, but just imagine the watercooler conversation! And we _just_ told Jason about it… and…" She realized she was babbling and stopped suddenly. With a serious look, Lois added, very slowly, "With all the talk about me and Superman… it would be awfully odd-seeming, don't you think?"

Clark's face fell. His fingers gently closed around the shining ring, and he began to retract his hand. Lois reached out to catch his wrist. _Say Yes!_ "I didn't say no…"

He brightened quickly, and looked back at her with an eager, hopeful expression once more.

"I'm sure we can figure something out… after all, when has this relationship ever played by the rules?"

But once again, Lois' eyes were drawn to Jason. _This isn't a decision I can make alone…_ She crouched down beside him, taking his hands in hers. He looked back at her in that lost little boy way he had, the one that made her want to gather him into her arms and shield him from every kind of pain. But she pushed through her anxiety, her heart fluttering madly, and asked softly, "Kiddo, you've found out so much in such a short time, haven't you?" Jason nodded, biting his lip. "Clark and I love each other very much. If we didn't, you wouldn't be here now. But, I don't want us to do anything that would make you upset. What do _you_ think about all this?"

Jason stared at her intently a moment, then turned his eyes up to Clark, who was looking like he was trying not to shift nervously from foot to foot. Then Jason gazed at the still forms of Jor-El and Lara, before finally coming back to Clark and Lois again. Lois desperately tried not to interrupt his solemn contemplative gaze – so like his father – but it was difficult, as anxiously as she awaited his answer.

He took a breath. "Mommies and Daddies _should_ be married," he stated firmly, lifting his chin.

Lois pulled him into a tight hug, tears springing to her eyes. "Yes, they should." She pulled back to cover his cheeks in kisses, as he faintly smiled and wrinkled his nose. _Say yes! _The insistent mental voice grew louder. Still kneeling at Jason's side, she turned her face up to Clark. "We'll have to hide it for months…"

Clark's face remained serious but the intense feeling lurking in those deep blue eyes reflected his heartfelt happiness. Then he smiled with amusement, fending off her weak arguments easily. "How is that any different than what we've always done?"

"We'll have to find an apartment…"

He shrugged. "I know a guy..."

"And Richard…"

That silenced him for a moment, and she smoothed Jason's hair idly before standing again. Then Clark spoke, voice low. "I know – it'll be hard on him. We can hide it from him as well…"

"And that went _so_ well the last time," she added self-deprecatingly. "He's probably expecting it, just not so soon…" And with that, she had countered her last argument.

Clark seemed to sense she was out of ammunition as well. "So, Lois…?"

_Say yes! **Say yes! Say…** _"Yes," she exhaled, "I'll marry you, Clark."

Lois was in his arms so fast that her head started to spin. He tilted her backward slightly as he seized her lips between his own, kissing her thoroughly. The feel of his firm chest and strong arms embracing her so powerfully as he kissed her made the room spin even faster.

A giggle sounded beside them, and they broke apart. Jason stood there, a small hand covering his mouth, his eyes practically dancing with merriment, and she felt a mixture of relief and embarrassment. Of all the reactions he could have had…

Lois stepped back expectantly, and held out her hand toward Clark. It hovered in the air a moment, and she frowned when he didn't grasp it in response. "Isn't this where you slip that pretty thing on my…" Her words trailed off as she suddenly noticed that the ring was plain gold… no diamond… She gave Clark a puzzled look, dropping her hand to her side.

Clark smiled sheepishly, and then turned serious as he began to explain. "There's more. I love you, Lois, more than anything. If we hadn't been so rash the first time, if I hadn't left in a fit of brooding…"

She touched his arm, consolingly, "Now, Clark…"

He shook his head decisively. "Let me finish. If things had been different, if I had _committed_ to you the way I should have in the first place, then we might have already been married for a few years. No broken hearts, no lives in a shambles." The regret was naked in his eyes.

Lois felt a wave of compassion for her tortured hero. "We were young, in love, not really thinking things through, Clark. No one could blame us if they really knew the whole story."

"I could, Lois. And so, I have to ask you again." He took up her hand where it rested at her waist, and asked again, "Will you marry me?" His eyes turned positively soulful. "Right now?"

Her mouth dropped open in shock. "Right… now…?"

Clark pulled her close against him, running a tender hand down the line of her jaw. "I want for us to be together, completely – mind and body, heart and soul," he said in low, husky voice. "I wouldn't be able to do that unless I make the ultimate commitment to you." She shivered, enthralled by his nearness, his words. Somehow it didn't matter that everyone, including their son, was watching them. "A marriage of the heart, witnessed here in front of my family. It would be just as legally binding on Krypton as the sealed scrap of paper we would get in Metropolis."

He backed away then, to give her space, and her arms ached to continue their closeness. Clark went on, his tone growing more even, more reassuring. "But if you want to wait, we'll wait. We'll date, and we'll 'get engaged' and we'll plan a wedding, and marry in front of all of our friends and family. I'll help you find a good place for you and Jason to live, and I'll look forward to the day when I can move in with you, to be your husband…" He paused, eyes pregnant with meaning, "…in every way possible."

_Is there some sort of subtext that he can't easily voice with Jason standing right there?_ Lois murmured under her breath, "So help me understand. Are you saying that we can't be… _together_… unless we're married?"

He nodded, apologetic resolve in his eyes.

"Of all the noble… crazy… _old-fashioned_…" she grumbled. It was times like this that she marveled that she had somehow overlooked the farm boy inside the hero. As she shook her head with bemusement, the little voice came back again. _Say yes!_

Aloud, Clark stated consolingly, "I'll wait as long as you need… you need to be sure this is the right step for _you_. No matter what you decide, my pledge to you will be the same now as it will be one hundred years from now." And then he stepped close to her again, taking her in his warm arms. Bending down, he breathed in her ear, "_But it will take every ounce of my superhuman strength to stay away from you._"

"Oh, yes…" she shuddered, almost overwhelmed by her own ecstatic response to this hint of his desire. She blushed again with embarrassment. "I mean…"

He waited patiently, and she knew, as she tilted her head to look up into those azure eyes, full of love unending, that there was no other way she could answer.

"Yes, Clark. Let's get married. Right now."

"You're sure?" he rumbled softly.

She started to make some sort of snarky remark… But for once, nothing came to mind. Only this man was capable of breaking down her defensive walls so completely. "Yes, I'm sure. You're right. We've wasted enough time already," she told him matter-of-factly, but the fluttering of her heart betrayed her nervousness.

He squeezed her hand reassuringly, his face glowing with profound happiness. Then he looked down at little Jason. "Do you mind holding this, Jason?" Clark held the ring out to his son.

Jason shook his head, grinning slightly. He held both hands out, cupped to receive the ring. Clark placed it inside them gently.

"I don't have a ring for you, Clark…" she murmured. "I wouldn't even know what to get you… I don't suppose you…?" She arched an eyebrow questioningly at him.

He smiled tenderly, and then reached into his cape again. The ring he produced was an exact replica of hers, just larger. He settled it into Jason's waiting hands beside hers.

Then Clark turned to the images of his parents, who were still, expectant, and intoned as if following an ancient script, "Father, Mother, I come before you today to present the woman I wish to marry, Lois Lane. She is strong, pure in heart, and is of good character. She will be a fine addition to the House of El."

Together Jor-El and Lara replied just as formally, "We have found her so, and judge her fit to enter into contract with you." Jor-El went on alone, "This joining cannot be entered lightly. Have you determined to commit to her fully, creating bonds of law that should not be sundered?"

"I have, Father."

Lara spoke next. "As strong as the bonds of law are, the bonds of love are even stronger. Are you willing to devote your heart to her completely, twining your lives together irrevocably?"

"I am, Mother."

The two faces turned to her, then, and Lois shivered. There was something so ancient, so otherworldly, yet so universal about this ritual. "Lois Lane, our son, Kal-El, has selected you as his marriage partner," Jor-El said. "Do you wish to enter into this contract as well?"

A slow smile parted Lois' lips, and she looked up at Clark steadily. "Yes."

Jor-El repeated the words he had asked of Clark, "Have you determined to commit to him fully, creating bonds of law that should not be sundered?"

"I have."

Lara added her portion. "Are you willing to devote your heart to him completely, twining your lives together irrevocably?"

"I am." Lois squeezed his hands firmly.

"Do you have anything to say to your bride, Kal-El?"

"I do, Father." Clark brought her hands up to kiss them, and she felt dizzy for a moment, hit with _déjà vu_ once again. He had done the same thing right before they had been intimate the first time, she remembered. "Lois, my love, my light. Even though I grew up on Earth, I never really felt I belonged to it, somehow. I was always different, and no one could explain why…" He let go with one of his hands to gesture around them. "…until I found the crystal, and learned of my history and destiny. I had determined that I would always be that 'strange visitor from another planet' – on Earth, but not of it."

He rejoined their hands once again, as he continued. "But then I met you, Lois. From the first moment I saw you, you mesmerized me with your vivacity and courage. You were everything I strove to protect and came to love in humanity. And when I discovered that as alien as I was, you loved me, accepted me… well, I was overwhelmed. I wanted to cast everything aside and become human, mortal, so that I could be with you forever. If only I had realized that it didn't matter to you what or _who _I was."

Clark squeezed her hands. "And now I can do what I should have done all those years ago. I pledge my all to you. Everything in me that is Kryptonian, and everything in me that is human. I will love you, and our son, our miracle child, for the rest of my days."

He let go once again, to take the ring from Jason, pausing momentarily to ruffle his hair gently before turning back to Lois. "This isn't part of the Kryptonian ceremony, but the Kansas farm boy in me couldn't do anything else. With this ring, I thee wed." He slipped the ring on her finger, and an exhilarating charge coursed through her body. She couldn't tell whether the feeling was real or imagined, only that she felt spiritually sealed to him now.

Lara asked, "Do you have anything to say to your groom, Lois Lane?"

Lois thanked the heavens that she was quick on her feet. "Yes, I do. Clark, when I first met you, there was none of that magic you just described. I am ashamed to say that I completely overlooked you. It wasn't until you first appeared as Superman that I lost my heart to you. But the more I got to know both sides of you, the more I suspected you were the same person. And once I learned, everything made sense. I can truly say at this moment that everything I love and admire about you is present in both sides of you. I wish that the world could see you as I do, but in some ways, I love the special bond we share."

She plucked the second ring from Jason's palm, giving her perfect little boy a joyful, open smile, and moved it to the edge of Clark's finger. "I pledge myself to you, Clark. May my love give you the strength to bear your burdens and to be everything you are destined to be, and more. With this ring, I thee wed." She slid the golden circle onto his finger. At her touch, his body temperature seemed to rise even farther, warming the air around them.

Jor-El and Lara intoned together, "The two hearts are made one, bound for eternity. The House of El and the House of Lane will be forever linked." Their voices rang throughout the enormous chamber, and the echoes slowly died away.

Lois smiled up at Clark, tears welling in her eyes, and found that his eyes sparkled wetly as well. "What now?"

"May I kiss the bride?" His smile was half shy, half pure, unalloyed happiness.

Lois didn't answer with words; she reached up to thread her fingers into his shiny black locks, and pulled him down into a lengthy kiss. As his arms went around her back, they both heard giggly applause coming from the small hands beside them.

* * *

Turning her wedding band idly between her fingers, Lois sat on the edge of a crystalline chair. She had insisted that Clark and Jason continue their discussion of his history, to take advantage of the restored library. She had finally taken the opportunity to explore the Fortress, wandering around the different chambers and looking at everything. It was no longer cold inside, and several times she had placed a hand on the face of one of the large pillars, just to test it. The gleaming surfaces fairly pulsed with life and warmth now, as if the entire structure was as happy as Clark was to have it back.

She didn't mind the extra time to be left alone with her jumbled, happy thoughts. As much as she wanted to spend time with Clark now – and _oh,_ she did – Jason needed it much more.

It was hard to describe what she was feeling right now. Clark had completely turned her world around in just a few short days. And the wedding a few hours ago – she knew she would never forget it, no matter what type of public ceremony they repeated for everyone in Metropolis. This was the marriage that would be written on her heart, not to mention the stars.

She began to place the ring back on her finger, when the light caught the inside of the band. There was something written there, inscribed on the gold… but so tiny that she couldn't read it. She squinted at it for a few moments, tilting it every which way to get a better view…

A soft footfall beside her startled her out of her examination. Her eyes traveled up a pair of red boots, across his form-fitting red and blue suit, and up to his radiant blue eyes. But Jason wasn't beside him. "Where's…?"

"Asleep. He started yawning a little while ago, and when we were sitting at the table, he started to rest his head on his arms. The next thing I knew, he was fast asleep."

Lois smiled fondly at the image. "He's always done that. He'll be out like a light all night long. I don't blame him – he's had to take in an awful lot of information today." Lois looked around, but didn't see where Jason was lying down. "Where is he sleeping? Did you put him in the…?" She stopped. For whatever reason, she couldn't finish the word 'bedroom.'

"No. In fact, I was able to use the console to create a small, comfortable room of his own for him. I covered him with one of my spare capes – I think he'll be warm enough."

"I'm sure he'll be fine…" She looked down at the ring between her fingers again. "Clark? Is there something written here, inside the band?"

He gave her a secretive smile. "Yes, there is."

"What? It's so small, I can't make it out…?"

"Well, even if it were bigger, you couldn't read it. It's in Kryptonian."

"Kryptonian? What does it say? 'I'm always around?'" she teased.

"No," he laughed. "It's from the ceremony. It says, 'The bonds of love…'" He touched his own band to indicate it was inscribed as well, "'…are even stronger.'"

Lois regarded it for a moment, another wave of love and desire flooding her. She slid the ring back on, and took his hand in hers. "Even stronger than you?"

"A thousand times stronger." With his other arm, he drew her close. He kissed her lightly on her parted lips, and then laid gentle kisses down her jaw line toward her ear. "I have been waiting to do this since the moment I laid eyes on you in that plane," he murmured against her skin. The vibration of his lips sent feathery tingles shooting through her. Lois shuddered in pleasure, knowing that the fantasies that had been troubling her the last few days were finally going to become reality. "It has taken everything I had to stay away from you until the time was right."

When he finally reached her earlobe, he whispered, his warm breath tickling her ear, "And my strength is almost gone."


	39. Chapter 39: Forever

**A/N: I have several dedications for this chapter. One: to all the fabulous Superman writers, both professional and fanfiction, who have covered this territory before. You inspired me to attempt the same. Nods abound. Two: to my friends in the fandom who encouraged me throughout the writing of the chapter, assuring me that I was on the right track. And three: to "my own, personal Clark Kent" who has shared his life with me for almost 15 wonderful years, and is the ultimate inspiration for this.**

**This version of the chapter has been edited to preserve the T rating – although it is still a bit of a hard T. If you are not of age or inclination, do not read on… you have been warned.**

Déjà Vu

Chapter 39: Forever

The feathery kisses moved in a tingly line down the curve of her neck. Lois gasped with the feel of Clark's silky lips against her throat, and she could feel those same lips curve up in a smile. She suddenly felt overwhelmed with a touch of vertigo, which must have been a combination of the heady desire she felt for Clark, and a strong feeling of déjà vu.

"You still like this, I guess," Clark commented in a deep voice, husky with desire. His tone sent fresh shivers across her body – she hadn't heard him use that voice since… since the last time they were here like this…

"Uh huh," she managed to breathe out.

As his kisses traveled downward into her neckline, his hands slid smoothly from where they had been wrapped around her, across her hips to the front of her body. With skillful hands, he unbuttoned each button of her blouse, planting his kisses ever lower…

Her head spinning, Lois tried to reciprocate, with both hands caressing him, exploring the belt at his waist for some kind of seam in the suit. She longed to feel his smooth, bare skin under her hands again. _God, it's been so long…_

His lips brushed across the sensitive area between her breasts, and her breath hitched. He had finished with the last button, and his large, warm hands moved fully beneath the fabric to knead her skin tenderly. Lifting his head again to press his lips against hers, he leaned her slowly backward into the crystalline chair, his knee parting her legs. A semi-coherent thought bubbled up through the haze of desire:_ Just where is that seam anyway?_

When the hard angles of the chair poked her at an odd angle, she winced, and shifted awkwardly. "Clark?" she murmured, breaking the kiss. "Could we… 'get more comfortable'?" she added in a teasing voice.

He smiled slyly, just barely exposing his teeth, and she felt weak at the sight. "Meet you in the bedroom." He kissed her lightly on the lips, and then with a rush of air, he was gone.

Lois chuckled, amused. She walked toward the bedroom, fully expecting to see him there, waiting in the silvery folds of the bed… but the room was completely empty. Puzzled, Lois perched on the edge of the bed frame, looking in every direction. She ran a hand across the shiny sheets, enjoying their smooth texture beneath her palm.

A flicker of movement caused her to look up. Clark stood there, a crystal flute of champagne in either hand. He sauntered toward her, strong and confident in a way she'd never seen before, even when he was in the red and blue. His searing blue eyes were smoldering with love, a blue flame of desire. The pajama bottoms and robe she had liked so well that first morning in his apartment draped languidly across his bare chest and flowed behind him, revealing his well-defined muscles. Her legs nearly turned to jelly at the vision before her.

Setting the champagne on a platform beside the bed, he caught her up easily with one powerful arm, just as her knees began to buckle from the wash of sensation rippling through her. He lifted her from the ground and Lois gasped with the feeling of being held so firmly against him. But the gasp was cut short by his warm lips descending upon hers.

Lois felt set aflame by the kiss, and was suddenly spurred to action. She ran her hands under the robe, wanting to feel every inch of his exposed skin. Her fingers trickled over his taut muscles, upward to his shoulders. With a fluid motion, Lois pushed the robe off of his shoulders, never breaking contact with his mouth. He shrugged it off the rest of the way, and lowered her gently to rest atop the silvery waves of the bed.

Clark lifted his head then, and gazed at her a moment, lying there on the bed. His deep blue eyes ran across her body – shirt unbuttoned, skirt askew, hair a tousled frame around her head – and lingered lovingly on her face. She had no idea what he was thinking… but as he drank her in with his eyes, and even though she knew he wasn't using his heat vision on her, a liquid sensation of heat followed his trail.

They regarded each other like that almost as if they each were trying to sear the moment into their memories, and then like a taut thread snapping, they came together again, limbs entangling. Lois wrapped her legs around one of his, and raked her fingernails through his hair with abandon. It felt as if she had been waiting a lifetime to do this – not just five years – to feel him pressed against her once more, hot with passion and need. Suddenly, she felt uncomfortable. _Too many clothes…_

She twisted him around to his back as they kissed, and then sat up away from him. Flipping her hair to hang at one side of her face, she caught his eyes with a sultry stare, and slowly removed the fabric of her blouse from one shoulder, then the other. She shed the garment in a fluid motion, enjoying the way his eyes darkened with desire and his mouth turned up in a small, pleased grin. With teasing slowness, though she ached to toss away all of their clothing at super-speed, she reached behind her to unfasten the clasps of her bra, one hook at a time. His answering look of burning intensity told her that her subtle striptease was beginning to have the desired effect.

When the last hook was undone, she allowed the straps to fall free. The flimsy piece of nylon and lace – nothing fancy, as she'd been unprepared for this night – clung precariously to the tips of her breasts on the verge of dropping away.

Lois looked down at it, feeling amused and aroused at the same time. There was something incredibly sexy about taking as long as possible to undress, especially when you were doing it for the man you loved. She raised an eyebrow: _Are you liking the striptease, Mr. Kent?_ With a visible effort, Clark lifted his eyes from her breasts and met hers. Holding her gaze, he showed his teeth in a decidedly feral smile, and growled lightly in his throat.

Lois daintily lifted her fingertips toward the front of the lingerie, but then her hand made a detour – to grab one of the flutes of champagne. She raised the glass to her lips, sipping delicately at the sparkling liquid, and then brought the flute to his lips. He drank, smoldering eyes never breaking contact with hers. She brought the glass back to drain it quickly, tipping it upward with a flourish. As she set it back to the side, the brassiere finally dropped away.

She found herself back in his arms in a flash, their bare chests rubbing sensuously against each other. She was overwhelmed with the powerful sensation, one that clearly brought back memories of their first time in this bed. Both of them had come such a long way from that naïveté – but finding themselves back here, consummating their long-denied passion – it was like a circle completed. Last time, they had been alone, the only ones affected by their secret love – this time, they had a son to consider. Last time, he had decided to give up his powers, to give up the world to be with her – this time, he had decided to balance both. Last time, he had been so tentative, so unsure – this time, he…

A thought filtered through her brain, half-formed, and she stopped kissing him to take a gasping breath. She bolted upright, eyes wide.

Clark lifted his head to look at her in concern. "What's wrong?"

"Clark…" Lois bit her lip, and looked at him askance. "What did you mean by, 'My strength is almost gone'?"

He smiled seductively, and began to nuzzle her neck again. "I meant I can't stay away from you anymore," he murmured between kisses. "It's been killing me – sometimes you're worse than kryptonite."

The feel of his warm lips on the sensitive skin at her throat sent chills through her. Lois' eyes fluttered closed, and she groaned softly. But the thought wouldn't allow her to get lost in the sensations again, so she managed to pull herself out of it. "You were using the console earlier, you know, to make Jason a room, and I just wondered…"

He continued his exploration of her neck, and then added his hands, which began to slide smoothly down her hips. "Wondered what?"

"Are you still…" She gasped as he placed a hand on her bare calf, creeping below the fabric of her skirt. As his hand traveled higher, she almost lost her mind with desire. "Did you get rid of…" She moaned as he reached her inner thighs, "…your powers?"

This time he sat up, startled, his hand freezing in its ministrations. "What? You thought I… removed my powers again?"

Lois frowned, disappointed that he had stopped, but needing to ask this question anyway. "I didn't know… I mean, last time you… isn't that the only way we can make love?"

"Oh, Lois… darling…" Clark put his other arm around her and embraced her gently, murmuring into her hair, "I used to think that, too… but I realized, what if that's not the case?" He pulled back to look earnestly into her eyes, bringing his hand up between them, palm outstretched. "I mean, I can control my touch, to even a finer degree than any human could." Clark placed his open palm on her bare shoulder, and slowly caressed the curve, following the movement of his hand with his eyes for an instant, before gazing warmly into hers again. "Why can't I control this? After all, I grew up just like any normal teenager, dreaming about the girl I liked, and I…" he stopped speaking suddenly, and dropped his eyes, embarrassed.

Lois giggled, despite the seriousness of the situation. "…never blew a hole through the sheets?"

He stifled laughter at her bluntness, blushing. "Right."

She covered her face with her hands, trying to control her laughter. Clark's eyes twinkled, watching her, as he tried to do the same. After a few minutes, Lois asked, "But if that's true… why did your mother insist you had to become mortal to be with me?"

"I had the same question." His hand traveled around to her elbow, and he held it reassuringly. "So, yes, I did use the console for something other than creating that room while I was with Jason. My mother told me that the reason they required me to give up my powers was because they believed I would not be able to balance my devotion to you with my duty to the world." He touched her face gently. "But I'm willing to do anything to maintain that balance."

She kept eye contact with him as she asked tentatively, "So we can really…?"

"I believe so… but if you're worried…" Clark responded with a look of concern.

"No. I'm not." She tenderly took one of his hands and kissed the back of it. "I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me."

Tenderly, Clark placed the other hand behind her head. "And you know me better than anyone." And then he began to kiss her again, slow, intense, drugging kisses that left her breathless.

His lips, so insistent against her mouth, practically burned her with their passion. She broke away, wanting to savor more of him than her hands could explore. Trailing kisses down his neck, she began a slow exploration of him with hands and lips, taking the lead this time.

He groaned low in his throat. "Lois…"

"And you must still like this, I guess." She smiled at the slightly dazed look of intense abstraction on his face.

"Uh huh…"

Clark shuddered at her intimate touches for a moment, then he turned on his side, unable to resist touching her in return for a moment longer. It wasn't long before she was barely coherent, acting on instinct, striving to match the intensity of the sensations he was stirring in her. He was so… masterful… in his caresses. It felt to Lois like he was picking up from their last time together, as if he hadn't forgotten an instant of their passionate lovemaking. And of course, he hadn't, he couldn't forget. And now just his presence, his sure touch, was awakening those same memories as vividly in her.

Clark surprised her again and again as they drew toward union - he had been a little too shy their first time together, but he was obviously a natural. _Oh, God, **such** a natural…_

And as the intensity grew ever greater, his gaze still locked with hers. She kept her eyes fully open, not wanting to break the soul connection they were forging. Lois felt as if she were floating upward on a wave of love…

Dizzy with feeling, the wave receding slowly, she became aware that the spinning of the room was not all in her head. Like a feather floating to earth in lazy circles, they settled back lightly into the satiny silver folds of the bed. Lois had no idea how long they had been hovering in the air, they had both been so intent on each other. A radiant smile split her face, tears sparkling in her eyes. She buried her face in his luxuriant black hair and half-laughed, half-sobbed with joy. When he lifted his head to look at her with his eyes full of love, she saw that his face gleamed wetly as well.

* * *

A few hours later, Lois came awake again, her body still entangled with his. She was filled with such a feeling of contentment, it was difficult to describe. It was familiar and yet strange at the same time. If their first encounter had been a voyage of discovery, this one continued the same journey into uncharted waters for her. _So this is what it feels like to make love to your soulmate…to know that there will only be the two of you for each other… forever. _Looking up at him, head resting on his chest exactly the way she had the first time, she smiled. _How strange it'll seem to make love in a regular bed with Clark, since we spent both times together here in the Fortress. _She took a few minutes to study him, to enjoy his beautiful body while he was asleep. Apparently he slept very soundly, just like his son. A wave of tender love engulfed her at the sight.

She found herself unable to keep from touching him, tracing the lines of his stomach and chest muscles with light fingers, traveling downward again…

"Lois…" he rumbled, eyes still closed.

"Mm-hmm?" she responded, smiling slyly while still tracing a delicate line with her fingertips.

"Just… don't stop," he breathed.


	40. Chapter 40: Together

Déjà Vu

Chapter 40: Together

Lois Lane set foot cautiously outside the elevator doors, letting the river of people exiting at the same time swirl around her and drift off their separate ways. She stood for a few moments in the vestibule, not quite ready to go to her desk. The main reason? She had to try to control the silly grin she could not quite wipe from her face.

In the elevator, with everyone's nose either buried in the morning edition, or minds elsewhere, she felt free to stand in the back and watch the numbers on the display go ever higher with a besotted smile on her face. All the while she was feeling that something profound had changed in her life, that she had experienced a kind of paradigm shift which she could never explain to anyone. Well, not anyone except for her hu— her husband. A tiny thrill shot through her at the thought, and she fondly touched the wedding band hanging from a long, slender gold chain around her neck. She would wear it there, hidden below the neckline of her blouse, close to her heart, until it was appropriate to let _everyone_ know how she felt about a certain Mr. Clark Kent.

At last, Lois took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, fixed a blank expression on her face, and took a step into the war room…

"Hey, Miss Lane!" Jimmy called out with a cheerful wave the second she came into view.

Lois smiled slightly in greeting. "Hi, Jimmy." Nodding, she continued briskly toward her desk, but Jimmy trailed behind her like an eager toddler.

Upon reaching her desk, she lifted up a copy of the morning edition. "It's all over the news this morning… on a virtual loop," Jimmy commented, pointing at the headline. In bold 72-point type across the top it read, **_Deputy Mayor Implicated in City-Wide Construction Scandal. _**In smaller type, there was a sub-headline: **_Lex Luthor Silent Partner in Scam!_** A photo of a haggard-looking Mitchener, taken right after his capture by police, was juxtaposed beside one of Luthor taken after his parole hearing, smiling smugly into the camera. Jimmy continued, pointing up at the television monitors above them, "I'm surprised they don't have _you_ on one of those morning shows right now. I bet they were practically foaming at the mouth to interview you after your kidnapping and rescue…"

Lois glanced up as well. The news crawl at the bottom of the screen focused on the scandal and the talking heads were buzzing non-stop on the city's morning show. "Damn sharks." She looked down at her desk phone, which was frantically flashing the message waiting light. "Let them have their feeding frenzy. I'm not going to toss them any meat." Inwardly, Lois cringed. She had deliberately left her cell phone off all weekend long while they stayed at the Fortress, since there wasn't any reception up there, and her head had been so far in the clouds this morning, that she'd completely forgotten to turn it back on…

"Yeah, well, you guys sure nailed this one. Lane and Kent, in the groove again! By the way…" Jimmy added. "Where is Mr. Kent this morning?" He raised an eyebrow to punctuate his meaning, grinning widely.

She raised her eyebrow at him in return, surreptitiously fingering the ring beneath her blouse as she answered smoothly, "Just running a few errands before work. He'll be in later."

Jimmy waited expectantly for more information. Lois purposely let the moment run an awkward beat too long, holding his gaze with her own until he shrugged guiltily and dropped his eyes. "Well, I just wanted to congratulate you both on the story."

"Thanks, Jimmy, I'll pass that on to him." Despite the front she was trying to put up, Jimmy's enthusiasm about his co-workers' new relationship was infectious. She found she was smiling despite herself. It was nice to have a friend in their corner.

"It's been just like old times around here, hasn't it?" he commented wistfully.

"Yeah," she agreed. _Just like old times, when Clark and I would run down a story until late at night… and then I would talk with his alter-ego until dawn…_ She chuckled softly at the irony once again. "It _is_ like…" A movement to the left caught her eye – Richard standing in his office to get a book from the shelf. As he moved, something about his appearance conveyed an air of quiet desolation. "…old times…"

Jimmy followed her gaze to Richard's office. "Um, I'd better get back to work." He awkwardly patted her arm as he snuck away. "Great job."

But she hardly registered any of that, for at the same moment, Richard caught her eyes and held them. He looked so tired, so sad… At that moment, she knew she had to speak to him, to keep their relationship somewhat friendly. And there was no better time than the present.

She walked over to his office as he sat down, tapping lightly on the doorframe. "Richard?"

"Morning, Lois." He sighed before continuing, "When you didn't come back to the house all weekend I wondered if you'd even make it to work today."

She grimaced. "Sorry, we were pretty busy up North." She flushed a little, a flash of skin on skin overtaking her memories for a moment, and she lightly brushed the band nestled between her breasts again. " Clark did stop by for some clothes… but…" She looked away, embarrassed. "Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I'll be looking for a new place to live this week. I hope I can get my stuff out of there in the next few days. You know, my clothes, personal mementos…"

"Lois, you know you don't have to do that," he said quietly, eyes sad. "We're all adults, and there _is_ a spare bedroom. Plus, Jason…"

"I know, but I…" _I want to spend as much time with my secret husband as possible, even if he has to pretend to be nothing more than a co-worker by day and a phantom in my bed at night._ "I just think it would be easier on all of us if I moved out as soon as possible."

Richard pressed his lips together. "All right. Whatever you need to do." He turned his chair back to his computer monitor. "Now if you'll excuse me, I—" Richard stopped mid-word, looking out into the busy newsroom.

Lois turned to see Clark walking into the room, clumsily making his way to his desk, knickknacks toppling, annoyed looks flying. Involuntarily, her hand leapt to her necklace again, and her heart fluttered wildly at the sight. He turned toward her at that moment, raising a hand in greeting, and she waved back, eyes too bright. Biting her lip and closing her eyes, she turned around before she gave herself away to the rest of the office.

"That's it, right there," Richard said hoarsely, startling her from her flustered attempt to get under control again.

"What?" she asked, flushing slightly.

"That look, that smile… oh, God, I would have given anything for you to have looked at me that way… even once." The raw emotion in her ex-fiancé's eyes almost made her take a step backward.

"Richard, I…"

"No, don't try to explain, Lois." Richard stood and took a few steps toward her until he was on her side of the desk. "I waited… and hoped…" He gently took one of her hands. "And proposed to you, even, hoping to strengthen the bond between us." He lifted his other hand to lightly trace the edge of her cheek. "But that _one_ thing, that _look_. It was never there. Nothing I could say or do would bring it to your face."

And before she could even react, he had quickly snagged the edge of her necklace and pulled it from her blouse into the light. Shocked at what he saw dangling from the chain, Richard did take a step back, dropping the ring back to her chest as though it were a hot coal. Lois quickly covered it with her palm and slipped it inside her neckline again, a little stunned at such an intimate invasion of her privacy.

"I… I don't know what I expected to find there… but certainly not…" He ran a palm across his face in astonishment. "Not that." He leaned heavily against the side of his desk, head lowered dejectedly.

Lois spoke quietly, feeling his heartbreak deeply. "I didn't want you to find out this way…"

He looked back up, eyes red-rimmed and shiny. "But it's true, isn't it?"

All she could do was nod.

His voice broke. "I've really lost you forever, haven't I? I mean, I knew that as soon as I saw you two together on the roof, but… I think it's only just now sinking in."

Lois reached a tentative hand toward his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Richard. We both are."

Richard looked up, glancing at where Clark sat at his desk, regretful eyes on her ex-fiancé. Richard smiled sadly again, ironically. "I never really _had_ you, though, did I?" He turned away before she could answer his rhetorical question, walking over to the window and looking out. "The two of you have this history – I won't even pretend to understand it – and despite the fact that your mind blocked all of that trauma out, somewhere deep inside, you never stopped loving him. Even though he left, possibly never to return, some part of you must have kept holding on." He never looked back at her as he continued in a shaking voice, "I won't pretend to be happy about it… but it's obvious to me you share a deep love that I had no hope of coming between. Your life with him was simply interrupted." He took a deep breath to steady himself. "I hope you'll finally be happy – it's all I ever wanted for you, Lois."

Lois searched for the right words to say, touched by Richard's generosity and eloquence. She wanted to say something that wouldn't be just empty sentiment, but nothing was coming to mind. "There's someone out there, Richard. Someone who deserves you. You were there for me when he couldn't be, and for that, I'll always be grateful." It was trite, but absolutely true… and it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. Not until the right woman came along to heal the wounds she had so carelessly inflicted.

Richard looked back at her then, and gave her another heartbreaking smile. "I pray you're right, Lois." Then he went back to staring out of the window, lost in thought.

Lois quietly walked away, feeling the curious eyes of her co-workers on her. What had they been expecting? A fight? A tearful goodbye? In a sudden fit of pique, she glared around her, embarrassing most of them into returning to work.

But a few sets of eyes didn't back away. Jimmy, looking sad but knowing, Perry, shaking his head in exasperated acceptance. And Clark, the only other person privy to that conversation, was giving her a look of commiseration. In a quiet voice, she asked him as she reached his desk, "Are the next few months going to be as hard as I think they are?"

He gave her a compassionate look. "Probably harder. But we'll get through them. We have each other, now," he answered, just as quietly. Picking up the front page with a shy grin, as if he were discussing the story with her, he went on. "With you, I'll be able to do anything."

She grinned back, blinking away a few late tears. "We'll be unstoppable." Her grin faded as her eyes fell again on the photos under the headline. Luthor seemed to sneer at her disdainfully, as if to say, _Oh, yeah? What about me, you cocky bitch? _

Clark saw what she had focused on, and his tone hardened with determination. "We'll get him, too, Lois. I don't care how many lead-lined, kryptonite-filled rooms he's got across the face of the planet." He took a risk in looking deeply into her eyes, and she shivered at the intensity she saw there. "We'll catch him, and I'll make sure he pays for everything he did – to me, to you, to our family, to the world."

She stared back just as intensely. "I know you will." Then in a very low voice she added, glancing behind her, "Now stop looking at me like that or we'll blow our cover… because I'll end up dragging your sexy bod by your ugly, old-fashioned tie into that closet over there."

Surprised, Clark laughed boyishly, the tension broken. She gave him a little wink as she whacked him lightly on the arm with the newspaper she'd been holding. In a louder voice, for the benefit of the people at the desks around them, she asked, "So, Kent. Tell me more about those leads you turned up this weekend."

"Oh, okay, Ms. Lane. Let me get the information out of my files…" he said with a touch of perfectly acted nervousness.

"Bring them over to my desk, okay?" She briskly walked back to her desk, murmuring very softly as she went, "And don't keep your loving wife waiting."

Lois sat at her desk with a second pleased grin beginning to form. Yes, things with Richard were going to be awkward for a while. Yes, it was going to be torture keeping her feelings for Clark under wraps. Yes, it was probably going to be difficult as he adjusted to life with a family, and she adjusted to his constant service to the world. But she didn't care. _Whatever it takes, we'll deal with it. Our love has survived a memory wipe, an unexpected pregnancy and several brushes with death. We are stronger together than we ever were apart._

As she reorganized the clutter of papers in front of her and started to get ready for the day, her foot kicked her handbag, reminding her that she really should check the messages on her phone. Reaching inside, she turned on the device and placed it on her desk. By the time she had started up her computer, the phone's LCD showed a large number of messages in her voice mail inbox. Lois groaned. _Maybe I'll wait just a little bit longer…_

But as she held it up trying to muster up the courage to check the messages, the phone vibrated in her palm, ringing shrilly. She looked at the screen again: _Unavailable No._ "Well, I guess I have to start somewhere…" Punching the _TALK_ button, she used her most impatient, business-like tone: " Lois Lane here."

_" Miss Lane. I'm glad to hear that you are alive and well."_ She shivered as she recognized the cold voice. Lex Luthor.

"Luthor. How did you get this number, you bastard?" she asked venomously.

At that moment, Clark appeared by her desk, face full of worry. She pointed to her ear, and made a swooping motion, eyes wide. _Can you hear where he is? Can you grab him?_

Clark cocked his head to the side, frowning in concentration.

_"Does it really matter, Miss Lane? And don't bother getting your alien lover to trace the signal or the sound of my voice. By now, you should know that unlike _some_ people I know, I learn from my mistakes."_

Clark shook his head at her, frowning even more deeply.

"What do you want, Luthor?" she grated out, gritting her teeth in frustration. Clark pulled a chair over to sit beside her, fists clenched.

_"Oh, nothing much. I just wanted to remind you that your digging into my affairs could have some serious consequences for your family." _Her mind racing, Lois wondered if this was a declaration of vengeance, a warning, or both…

Beside her, Clark growled low in his throat, seeming to make a superhuman effort to keep himself just barely under control.

"Is that a threat?" Lois asked, voice ice-cold with anger. "Because you should know by now that I don't respond well to threats."

_"Let's not mince words. You know exactly what I mean by that – I won't insult your intelligence by assuming otherwise. Just one more thing before I go…"_

There was a pause, and Lois' blood boiled as she began, "I don't have to listen to—"

_"You can pass this on to him as well… if he isn't already listening. I wish the two of you the best of luck in your new life together."_

As Lois and Clark looked at each other in speechless horror, the line went dead.

**THE END**


End file.
